Do they really think i would hurt him??

[eclipse]

What is with the Dr. Spock generation and not cuddling their kids? LOL I would go with your gut and tell them to step back, they are not the parent, you are. If you are really brave, tell them exactly how you told us.....Good luck! *sigh* I wish people would mind their own business a bit more when it comes to pregnancy and children....between feeling up pregnant bellies and trying to override the parents on how to raise their infants, its no wonder we aren't all in the psych ward! LOL

 

[claralouise]

Babe you need to get it sorted now or your going to end up like me,
i dont even talk to my mum anymore because of the same reason, i was 15 nearly 16 when i had josh yup thats young lol but if i remeber your 16 so i kinda know what your going through. yeh she was a great help, i finished school and even did my hairdressing after which i was working 40plus hours a week, id wake up and be told to leave him to sleep, id come home and shed already have him bathed and in bed, so when he was 7months i decided to put him in a private nursery just so i could see him!!

apparenlty i fed him wrong even tho he was bf for 4 months and put loads of weight on, i didnt hold him right, things got better when i moved out but she was always still there niggling in the background but cus shes my mum i was too scared to hurt her by saying anything.

this year we had a massive blow out, i mean josh is 10 in february and she still acts like his mum and not his gran, i told her how i felt and that it must stop as i felt more like josh sister than his mum , something she didnt like to hear, i reduced visits and started going away most weekends upto my mates farm with him so she couldnt just pop over. but she got worse and started rining up school finding out how he was doing and interfearing that way, then she went to see a solicitor for grandparents rights ...what a load of crap that is so i just told her once she grows up she can see us again till then to fuck off i havent spoken to or seen her since june and OUR life is soooo much better for it.

so hunny id suggest sort it now before all this anger pents up and you end up having a blow out like me. just explain how your the parent shes the grandparent, and you appreciate shes there if you need her but you have to learn and aiden has to learn about his mum too.
i do agree tho it must be hard mums seeing their babies having babies, but at the same time they need to take a back seat


god that was long hehehe i think ive just vented

 

[Novbaby08]

Just remember newborns cannot be spoiled. They cannot manipulate you. If Aidan is crying then theres nothing wrong with picking him up. People tell me I'm spoiling Harley because I never leave her to cry, But really I'm not, I think its cruel to leave them.
Just remember he's your baby, if they dont like something your doing tough for them.

 

[Pyrrhic]

IMO newborns don't cry for no reason. They are very simple at that age, and cry because they NEED something from their parents. They don't cry just because they are bored, or fancy being annoying. So if he's crying then he needs you. Screw them telling you to let him cry it out.

If your baby is crying and you want to comfort him then fuck what they think. Sorry for the language, but it upsets me to think of you in this position. You need to tell them to stop, or else they will keep making the snide remarks.

As for him not settling, what sort of routine do you have with him (if any)? How often is he feeding and how much? Is there a time where he cries more? (ie after a feed?) How long is he sleeping for?

 

[TashaAndBump]

Take no notice. People ASSUME that because you are young they have some sort of right to a say in what you do with your baby but they DON'T! He is yours, you are his mummy! If you want to pick him up you pick him up! And NO WONDER you are finding it hard to learn how to comfort him - a) you are a new mum your baby is only a few weeks old you need to get to know each other and B) The people making these comments are making it harder for you to learn because when you go to him they stop you! You need experience when if you sooth him you think he could benefit more from the other then you can try that but you won't know until you try and how you choose to settle your baby is entirely up to you!

Big hugs I feel so mad for you... I hope you find the strength to know that you are right - I know it can be hard when seemingly everyone around you is judging you - but that is their problem not theirs. Don't you listen - you are doing a great job xxx xxx

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

IMO newborns don't cry for no reason. They are very simple at that age, and cry because they NEED something from their parents. They don't cry just because they are bored, or fancy being annoying. So if he's crying then he needs you. Screw them telling you to let him cry it out.

If your baby is crying and you want to comfort him then fuck what they think. Sorry for the language, but it upsets me to think of you in this position. You need to tell them to stop, or else they will keep making the snide remarks.

As for him not settling, what sort of routine do you have with him (if any)? How often is he feeding and how much? Is there a time where he cries more? (ie after a feed?) How long is he sleeping for?

Nope he doesn't really have have a rountine i just feed on demand. He is feeding every 3-4 hours and he can take between 4-5 ounces it depends really and he sleep at night in 4 hour slots and then wakes up for feeds. And he crys more at night after a feed.


xx

 

[Pyrrhic]

Nope he doesn't really have have a rountine i just feed on demand. He is feeding every 3-4 hours and he can take between 4-5 ounces it depends really and he sleep at night in 4 hour slots and then wakes up for feeds. And he crys more at night after a feed.


xx

I imagine they are all quite similar at this age. I don't know if it will help but what I've found works with Niamh....

Feed half a feed when she wakes up, then wind and change her nappy. Feed rest of feed and then wind again. Then cuddle her for about 15/20mins then put down. If she cranky she gets a dummy, which a lot of people disagree with but tbh it helps soothe her. I cuddle her for ages though until I think she's in a deep sleep then put her down. Some nights though it doesn't matter what I do, it's like she's determined to stay awake.

She's already starting to stay up for longer though. Like I fed her this afternoon and she stayed awake for two hours after the feed just looking around.

Don't know if hat's any use, but thought I'd mention how Niamh is in case it's similar. Hope you're feeling better soon and don't let them get to you. You are her Mummy, and you know what she needs, not them.

 

[ryder]

2 weeks old is def no age to let them cry it out.

Just try and ignor them, my mom says annoying stuff too.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

Nope he doesn't really have have a rountine i just feed on demand. He is feeding every 3-4 hours and he can take between 4-5 ounces it depends really and he sleep at night in 4 hour slots and then wakes up for feeds. And he crys more at night after a feed.


xx

I imagine they are all quite similar at this age. I don't know if it will help but what I've found works with Niamh....

Feed half a feed when she wakes up, then wind and change her nappy. Feed rest of feed and then wind again. Then cuddle her for about 15/20mins then put down. If she cranky she gets a dummy, which a lot of people disagree with but tbh it helps soothe her. I cuddle her for ages though until I think she's in a deep sleep then put her down. Some nights though it doesn't matter what I do, it's like she's determined to stay awake.

She's already starting to stay up for longer though. Like I fed her this afternoon and she stayed awake for two hours after the feed just looking around.

Don't know if hat's any use, but thought I'd mention how Niamh is in case it's similar. Hope you're feeling better soon and don't let them get to you. You are her Mummy, and you know what she needs, not them.

Yeah, it's like your describing Aidan lol he does exactly the same and he is staying awake for longer periods during the day.

I havn't tried giving him half his feed and then changing and winding and then carrying on. I'm gunna try that tonight because normally i just give him the whole bottle and then change him and then he is wide awake again. So if the what you suggest work tonight then i'm gunna love you forever he he. Thanks hun you've really helped

xx

 

[Pyrrhic]

No worries, hope you get things sorted especially you're family. Let me know how things go xx

 

[kayjor04]

I dont want to repeat everything everyone has already said... but didnt want to read and run either...
My mum was the same for the first bit "oh give me that baby" "do this, do that" I was VERY quick to put my foot down... But thats the kind of person i am. i tolerate no nonsense... the way i see it, i'm her mother, yuor her grandmother, the only way i'll ever learn is to do it myself. the help is nice when i ask... but if i dont ask, chances are i dont need.. I hope thigns clear up and get better, it would be sad if you started to resent family members.

 

[angie0235]

i know how you feel, except it's my Mother in law that is bugging me! She takes Katie off me or whoever is holding her whenever she can. If Katie is tierd she 'jiggles ' her for side to side quite fast which makes my blood boil because i know Katie likes calm to fall asleep, and she seems to look at me while she is doing it almost as if to say 'look tis is what you do - aren't i good at child rearing?'. When Katie cries she says 'have you got tummy ache?' as if i'm not winding her properly. She rings up every evening for an update on how she's fed/slept etc. I feel really resentful of her. we were out for a meal yesterday and i made sure she was sat away from the baby. she said 'come to grandma' twice and both times i gritted my teeth and said no! Felt much better.
I feel like i can't say anything to her as she's not my mum.
I know how fustrating it is, especially when you're feeling a bit unsure yourself. Hang in there and try to stand your ground if you can without upsetting yourself.

 

[littlelady]

oh no i really hope your feeling ok it was only a matter of weeks you gave birth i went through the same with my family and still am going through the same thing a year later i always feel down when family visit now as i know whats coming its because i was only 19 when i had leeon so basically they probably think i cant bring up a child with being young but they are so wrong i keep telling myself just try be strong and enjoy all the time you can with him alone and bond with him its one thing i didnt get to do with my son hope you feeling ok and your little man is so beautiful x x x

 

[poppy]

Do not worry what other people think. You are the mum and you know your baby best.

It is hard to ignore 'useful' advice but that is one of the big problems when you have a baby - everyone and their Uncle Charlie want to give you advice - often conflicting advice. I have even had people in supermarkets saying, 'oh he must be hungry' when Tristan is crying. They don't know that he has probably just been fed about twenty minutes before that. It is annoying but mostly people mean well.

However, in your case, it does seem as if people are overly interfering and being too critical. You should point this out to them and say that their actions are making you feel a lack of confidence with your baby. Remember, you are the mum not them, they need to learn to back off. I do feel for you.

xxx

 

[kirstyloo82]

you are doing a fab job with aidan and im sure the last thing he needs is a stressed mummy, so try and tell them you would rather figure things out for yourself.

i remember worrying about creating a clingy child as i was breastfeeding my lo, and he did cry 'for no reason' in between feeds when only a cuddle would settle him. i remember saying to my hv that i was conscious not to create a baby that would only settle with a cuddle, that would turn into a child that wouldnt go to bed etc. she told me that if what my baby wanted was a cuddle then that is what i should be giving! i quickly adapted to spending most of my days holding him, hes now 22 months and a very independant and confident little man, who has just gone from cot to bed without so much as a whimper and settles himself to sleep. yes he loves his cuddles, but is not one of these kids clinging to me the whole time.

go with your instincts and you and he will soon learn whats best for you. no baby and mummy combo is the same.

hope you work it out