Do you 'believe' in ADD and ADHD

[xnmd1]

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

It INFURIATES me when people think they are professionals and say that children are naughty or poor parenting. My son is NOT naughty. He never hurts others and he always has manners. His ADHD is more restless, he wont sit still and will fidget and fiddle 24/7 and things like that. I didn't even know you could get DLA for ADHD to be honest lol. We get higher care for his autism so the ADHD diagnosis didn't make a difference anyway, it just winds me up when people say oh ASD/ADHD that means naughty.

Not it does not! Not always! In fact, my son HATES breaking rules and gets distressed by dispructive children. He actually is disruptive himself lol but he does not mean to be, he just figits and will not understand personal space. (obv a bit more complex but there you go)

I honestly, honesty do not know how people think you get diagnosed without hassle. I had a heck of a time even getting an appointment and even when we did it was a 18mth wait! (and I assumed that was pretty average!?) I just do not know how people can lie because we had so many appointments too.

There is much more to ASD/ADHD then "Naughty" I wish people would understand that...

 

[moomin_troll]

took my mum years and years to try and get help for my brother who doesnt have adhd but is autistic and other issues. even now hes 28 she still has to deal with doctors coming in and thinking they no best and that is and that is wrong with my brother when it isnt.

and if doctors cant agree it drives me crazy too when joe bloggs think they no about certain things and how people should act

when my oh was younger nothing to do with his adhd he wasnt gettting the love and attention he needed at home so would act out and what did they do? shipped him off to clubs every night of the week.

 

[xnmd1]

It INFURIATES me when people think they are professionals and say that children are naughty or poor parenting. My son is NOT naughty. He never hurts others and he always has manners. His ADHD is more restless, he wont sit still and will fidget and fiddle 24/7 and things like that. I didn't even know you could get DLA for ADHD to be honest lol. We get higher care for his autism so the ADHD diagnosis didn't make a difference anyway, it just winds me up when people say oh ASD/ADHD that means naughty.

Not it does not! Not always! In fact, my son HATES breaking rules and gets distressed by dispructive children. He actually is disruptive himself lol but he does not mean to be, he just figits and will not understand personal space. (obv a bit more complex but there you go)

I honestly, honesty do not know how people think you get diagnosed without hassle. I had a heck of a time even getting an appointment and even when we did it was a 18mth wait! (and I assumed that was pretty average!?) I just do not know how people can lie because we had so many appointments too.

There is much more to ASD/ADHD then "Naughty" I wish people would understand that...

perhaps diagnosis is taken more seriosuly/done more throughly in the UK than it is in Canada (or maybe just NS/my general area)?
I know people who've gone to their GP, said they had ADD symptoms, and their GP writes them up a perscription for ritalin and they're on their merry way.

 

[moomin_troll]

and i thought diagnosis was bad in the uk, thats terrible people can go and say think i have and and get drugs!

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

It INFURIATES me when people think they are professionals and say that children are naughty or poor parenting. My son is NOT naughty. He never hurts others and he always has manners. His ADHD is more restless, he wont sit still and will fidget and fiddle 24/7 and things like that. I didn't even know you could get DLA for ADHD to be honest lol. We get higher care for his autism so the ADHD diagnosis didn't make a difference anyway, it just winds me up when people say oh ASD/ADHD that means naughty.

Not it does not! Not always! In fact, my son HATES breaking rules and gets distressed by dispructive children. He actually is disruptive himself lol but he does not mean to be, he just figits and will not understand personal space. (obv a bit more complex but there you go)

I honestly, honesty do not know how people think you get diagnosed without hassle. I had a heck of a time even getting an appointment and even when we did it was a 18mth wait! (and I assumed that was pretty average!?) I just do not know how people can lie because we had so many appointments too.

There is much more to ASD/ADHD then "Naughty" I wish people would understand that...

perhaps diagnosis is taken more seriosuly/done more throughly in the UK than it is in Canada (or maybe just NS/my general area)?
I know people who've gone to their GP, said they had ADD symptoms, and their GP writes them up a perscription for ritalin and they're on their merry way.

Thats terrible, they dont even use that here anymore do they? I know you cant just "get" medication. We have not even been offered it or asked for it but my nephew has and it was not easy x

 

[xnmd1]

ritalin is HUUUGE here. And another one that's stronger .. I think it starts with a D but I can't think of the name off the top of my head.

I wish they offered other forms of treatment here before sticking kids on drugs. That way ADD medication wouln't be circulating like candy.

 

[LoraLoo]

My 6 year old has ADHD, so of course for me it is a very real disabilty. Many people are of the opinion that very naughty child seems to get 'diagnosed' with adhd, but for us personally it was quite a lenghty process including meeting with the school nurse, teachers, consulatants and Dr's. We had questionnaires to fill in, we had to go through our whole familys health background, he was assesed both in hospital and in school. The Dr said to us that it is oftn heriditary and that in brain scans, there is an obvious difference between ADHD children and 'normal' children.

Of course, I can only speak for myself and my own experience, I have no doubt in my mind that many people do indeed just pass any difficult child off as ADHD, but in these cases i rckon its more a case of parnts self diagnosing than themselves!

I also have a family member who is pushing for hr 2 year old to be diagnosed with ADHD so that she can claim DLA....he is just a typical toddler, it infuriates me

Lora xxxxx

 

[LoraLoo]

I chose to medicate my son, it wasnt an easy decision and its one DP and I argued over for several weeks, but when I have my oldest child begging to move out of her own home at 10 years old bcause she cannot bare to be near her brother, well something had to be done. He only has a low dose, because i still want him to be Ollie, i dont want him to be a zombie, but i do want him to be able to sit long enough at school to concentrate. Last thing i want is him falling so far behind that its too late to help him Not all mums just drug their kids up for an easy life. Having an ADHD child is anything but easy xxxxx

 

[LoraLoo]

It INFURIATES me when people think they are professionals and say that children are naughty or poor parenting. My son is NOT naughty. He never hurts others and he always has manners. His ADHD is more restless, he wont sit still and will fidget and fiddle 24/7 and things like that. I didn't even know you could get DLA for ADHD to be honest lol. We get higher care for his autism so the ADHD diagnosis didn't make a difference anyway, it just winds me up when people say oh ASD/ADHD that means naughty.

Not it does not! Not always! In fact, my son HATES breaking rules and gets distressed by dispructive children. He actually is disruptive himself lol but he does not mean to be, he just figits and will not understand personal space. (obv a bit more complex but there you go)

I honestly, honesty do not know how people think you get diagnosed without hassle. I had a heck of a time even getting an appointment and even when we did it was a 18mth wait! (and I assumed that was pretty average!?) I just do not know how people can lie because we had so many appointments too.

There is much more to ASD/ADHD then "Naughty" I wish people would understand that...

perhaps diagnosis is taken more seriosuly/done more throughly in the UK than it is in Canada (or maybe just NS/my general area)?
I know people who've gone to their GP, said they had ADD symptoms, and their GP writes them up a perscription for ritalin and they're on their merry way.

Thats terrible, they dont even use that here anymore do they? I know you cant just "get" medication. We have not even been offered it or asked for it but my nephew has and it was not easy x

Ritilin is a controlled drug, so it does have to be signed for, i have to take ID with me. I know in the uk they dont just hand it out willy-nilly, but maybe in different countries they do just that?

 

[indy and lara]

It INFURIATES me when people think they are professionals and say that children are naughty or poor parenting. My son is NOT naughty. He never hurts others and he always has manners. His ADHD is more restless, he wont sit still and will fidget and fiddle 24/7 and things like that. I didn't even know you could get DLA for ADHD to be honest lol. We get higher care for his autism so the ADHD diagnosis didn't make a difference anyway, it just winds me up when people say oh ASD/ADHD that means naughty.

Not it does not! Not always! In fact, my son HATES breaking rules and gets distressed by dispructive children. He actually is disruptive himself lol but he does not mean to be, he just figits and will not understand personal space. (obv a bit more complex but there you go)

I honestly, honesty do not know how people think you get diagnosed without hassle. I had a heck of a time even getting an appointment and even when we did it was a 18mth wait! (and I assumed that was pretty average!?) I just do not know how people can lie because we had so many appointments too.

There is much more to ASD/ADHD then "Naughty" I wish people would understand that...

perhaps diagnosis is taken more seriosuly/done more throughly in the UK than it is in Canada (or maybe just NS/my general area)?
I know people who've gone to their GP, said they had ADD symptoms, and their GP writes them up a perscription for ritalin and they're on their merry way.

I have never known a parent to be able to go to the doctor and get a prescription for Ritalin. Here GPs do not prescribe Ritalin, it is prescribed through the family and mental health team at the hospital only. All the children I have worked with who have an ADHD diagnosis or who were on the journey to diagnosis have been assessed by the hospital over a long period of time. Usually at least 12 months. Also, there is input from other professionals who have contact with the child, including schools and social work. There are also observations both in school and at home. At school we also have a review of each child at school with the relevant professionals every 6 months.

ADD/ADHD is a very real and serious condition. As Midnight Fairy said, many of the children really hate being in trouble/ getting things wrong but their lack of impulse control means that sometimes things just happen and they are left to deal with the consequences. A simplistic example would be when a child is not allowed to touch something, they know they are not to touch it but their lack of impulse control means that they just cannot stop touching it. They then have to face the consequences of the fact they broke the rules and are often doubly upset- upset because they get into trouble and upset because they knew they should not have done it.

Many parents actually choose to not medicate to manage their child with ADHD/ADD so it is not inevitable that all children with a diagnosis will be medicated.

 

[LoraLoo]

IndyandLara, you have just described my son. The teacher said that if a group are told not to touch the whiteboard for eg, Ollie has to go up and be the last one to touch it, or to knock something off somebodys desk etc. He knows it is wrong, and he laughs when being told off. Its really frustrating and i have to remind myself that this is part of his ADHD.

He will also destroy his own things, and then cry about it as soon as he has done it, but given th chance, he will do it all over again. We tried allsorts of 'punishments' and rewards etc before going down th medication route. If i told him I would take his DS from him, he would go and put it in the bin himself. If i told him he was going to bed early, he would rip up a painting he'd spent age's lovingly doing.

ADHD kids aren't bad children they're just misundrstood xxxxx

 

[indy and lara]

IndyandLara, you have just described my son. The teacher said that if a group are told not to touch the whiteboard for eg, Ollie has to go up and be the last one to touch it, or to knock something off somebodys desk etc. He knows it is wrong, and he laughs when being told off. Its really frustrating and i have to remind myself that this is part of his ADHD.

He will also destroy his own things, and then cry about it as soon as he has done it, but given th chance, he will do it all over again. We tried allsorts of 'punishments' and rewards etc before going down th medication route. If i told him I would take his DS from him, he would go and put it in the bin himself. If i told him he was going to bed early, he would rip up a painting he'd spent age's lovingly doing.

ADHD kids aren't bad children they're just misundrstood xxxxx

And that ^^^ hits the nail on the head. They are. People are so busy seeing the 'behaviour' that they forget that there is a child underneath it all. Often a very mixed up and frustrated child. But also kids who are funny, kind, loving, sporty, outgoing.....and so on, like every other child you meet.

As a teacher it can be so frustrating when you are firefighting challenging behaviour while trying to teach another 29 kids, but some understanding and empathy goes a long way. A few years ago I taught a boy with ADHD. At Parents' Night the 1st thing I said to his mum was that he was a great kid and that I loved having him in my class. Because he was and I did. He was really, really hard work but he had so much to offer. She burst into tears because no-one had ever said anything nice about her child before. People need to just stop for a moment and imagine how that must feel. I cannot imagine living a life where people never see the good in my child. That is heartbreaking to me. While I had an impact on his life, he had a bigger one on mine.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I agree with the last few posts

 

[blueX4]

Yes, I agree with most, I think it is a real condition but is majorly over diagnosed. I know a number of kids "diagnosed" with this condition who to be honest, could just do with some decent parenting. Then there areothers who genuinely do struggle with this.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

But if they have problems, parenting is not the huge issue. To be honest, I find peoples judgements and opinions actually worse than my sons behaviour in the first place!

 

[LoraLoo]

But if they have problems, parenting is not the huge issue. To be honest, I find peoples judgements and opinions actually worse than my sons behaviour in the first place!

I agree, im sure if it were my 'parenting skills' my other children would be the same which they aren't! xxx

 

[Nic1107]

Strange how there is such a divide on this subject depending upon where you live! In the US, at least where I live, Ritalin and such really are not at all difficult to get your hands on. For my brother to get diagnosed, one of his schoolteachers just had to fill out a questionnaire as did one of his family members (I filled it out for him because I know him better than anyone probably), then Mom took the papers to the psychiatrist, who then prescribed the ADD meds (not Ritalin, can't remember what it's called). It would be extremely easy to lie on the questionnaire, and kids selling their prescribed meds for a hefty profit on the school grounds is a huge problem in my town.

Some of my brother's friends were shocked that he wasn't selling his meds because he could make such good money off them- but he recognizes that he actually needs them in order to drive safely and concentrate at school and at work. A psychiatrist actually tried to diagnose me with ADD when I was younger because I was 'oversensitive' and had trouble getting things like my homework done; I have Asperger's Syndrome, not ADD. Good lord, I can't imagine what being on meds that make me more focused would do to me- I'd be an obsessive mess!

So yeah, definitely not hard to get a diagnosis and meds in some areas. Which means that, unfortunately, children who really do have ADD aren't given the help they need because the behaviours of children who are diagnosed but don't have it, and the actions of their parents, often taint other people's perceptions of the parents whose children do struggle with real ADD/ADHD and the children themselves.

 

[xnmd1]

Strange how there is such a divide on this subject depending upon where you live! In the US, at least where I live, Ritalin and such really are not at all difficult to get your hands on. For my brother to get diagnosed, one of his schoolteachers just had to fill out a questionnaire as did one of his family members (I filled it out for him because I know him better than anyone probably), then Mom took the papers to the psychiatrist, who then prescribed the ADD meds (not Ritalin, can't remember what it's called). It would be extremely easy to lie on the questionnaire, and kids selling their prescribed meds for a hefty profit on the school grounds is a huge problem in my town.

Some of my brother's friends were shocked that he wasn't selling his meds because he could make such good money off them- but he recognizes that he actually needs them in order to drive safely and concentrate at school and at work. A psychiatrist actually tried to diagnose me with ADD when I was younger because I was 'oversensitive' and had trouble getting things like my homework done; I have Asperger's Syndrome, not ADD. Good lord, I can't imagine what being on meds that make me more focused would do to me- I'd be an obsessive mess!

So yeah, definitely not hard to get a diagnosis and meds in some areas. Which means that, unfortunately, children who really do have ADD aren't given the help they need because the behaviours of children who are diagnosed but don't have it, and the actions of their parents, often taint other people's perceptions of the parents whose children do struggle with real ADD/ADHD and the children themselves.

sounds JUST like around here!

 

[Every Rose]

This thread has been really interesting to me.

Through the internet I have met people whose children have been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD (one has commented here) and I know they are facing a very real problem in getting the help they and their families need. So obviously, I 'believe' these conditions exist.

But I also know how quick some people are to try and pin on a label to someone who perhaps doesn't have these conditions. My aunt is childless and very quick to comment that children she knows would benefit from being on Ritalin as they all seem to be hyperactive or have ADHD. They wouldn't, they are just normal, lively children but she thinks they should be out of sight and silent all the time and if they aren't it is because something is 'wrong' with them.

So I can imagine that in places where it is far to easy to get a mis-diagnosis of ADD or ADHD that she would be the sort of person encouraging everyone to get their children medicated just because they can and because they will benefit from it financially.

And I think it's that sort of person that make it hard for parents and children who really are coping with a correct diagnosis or fighting hard to get one made. If a doctor has 100 children to diagnose and only one is genuine it makes it hard for the doctor and impossible for the family of the child who most needs the help. It stretches financial resourses and teaching resources too.

Also I think that the people who could help, such as teachers etc, aren't fully aware of the condition or how to help and so in some cases (I'm thinking of a non-B&Ber that I know who has fought very hard to get help for her son and who has been treated badly by his schools) they make things worse.

I know it's not possible for all teachers to be fully trained and aware of every need and condition BTW, I just think that we need more specially trained ones available for those that need them or to offer support to the mainstream teachers who may find themselves teaching a class that includes a child with a condition they don't understand.