Do you consider it SNEAKY?

[mama2four]

So we all know what is going on with our bodies most of the time

Okay, what I mean is when I see ewcm and feel o pains, I can assume I am in my fertile moment. But DH doesn't know all this is happening with my body. Since we are ntnp, do you ever feel sneaky dtd?

 

[M&S+Bump]

I know zilch about what is going on with my body - have never felt an ovulation pain in my life. The first I know of a period is when I start bleeding (it doesn't happen very often, maybe twice a year) and the first I knew of my pregnancies was that my boobs started to hurt.

We see ntnp as trying without all the monitoring stuff, so we're doing it because we both actively want a baby Usually dtd every other day or more anyway so the only difference is we can ditch the yucky condoms.

 

[BlondeShorty]

We used NTNP for DS and will use it this time around only until I'm back at work and the date we originally first agreed on is here. I went off my birth control pills and he hates condoms so we sorta just fell into it since me getting pregnant right now, we can afford and handle. Until then, we'll see what happens..but I'm actively trying a bit more than DH realizes. I don't really feel "sneaky" though. I'm bfing and my cycles aren't back to normal but I bloat twice a month and get pains. So I have OPKS and I am checking to see if I ovulate when I think I do or if I even AM ovulating. .. If we happen to DTD in that time frame.. then great. If we don't, oh well. I do try to make sure we DTD at least once around then though if possible to increase my odds. Most women feel more aroused during ovulation.. so I don't think it's totally sneaky when you look at it that way. Your body wants you to reproduce so it will send you signals to try and get you to DTD during ovulation time usually.

 

[Zeri]

Sometimes, but not most of the time. I classify my status as Me TTC, DH NTNP. I'm very aware of my fertile signs and also use opks to narrow down my most fertile time. DH knows none of this, but he does know I want another now and he's open to that in a way, and he knows that we're not using any form of birth control. Sometimes I feel a little sneaky when I'm pretending to be 'spontaneous' and playful and just horny, when in my mind I'm being really serious and calculating about needing to get BD now because I'm ovulating! hehe..

 

[iwanta8a8y]

Haha zeri, I'm with ya there ;-)

 

[BlondeShorty]

I think a lot of us are like that And since DHs are NTNP, they can still turn us down on days that we want to DTD anyway.
Like yesterday I was wanting to DTD and DH had promised we would (we planned this like a month ago lol) and then after watching a movie he was just sooo tired that he said it was a no go so I pestered him about tonight and he was ok with that.
.. I am supposed to ovulate I think on the 16th. If I even ovulate this month lol.
He doesn't know this but I am going to do everything in my power to try DTD tonight or else tomorrow. If it doesn't happen then oh well. I just reaaaallly hope he comes to bed early though so we can!!

 

[brunette&bubs]

I also can't tell when I'm fertile.
With DS we tried NTNP for a while.
Didn't work.

Once I used OPKs and actively TTC we conceived

 

[hanelei]

As long as OH is on board with having a baby, I don't see it as sneaky at all. With our first, I had a rough idea of the time I was ovulating, but didn't tell OH that any particular day was more important than the next- didn't want him to get stage fright!

I had said to OH that it might take longer since I was 35 and had just come off the pill, but I was lucky enough to conceive on the first cycle. I didn't say anything until I got the BFP- he was pleasantly surprised

We are going to start trying (not charting, temping or anything unless it takes more than a few months) from my next cycle which should begin in two weeks' time- I'm not going to tell OH exactly when crunch time is this time either- hoping it happens as easily as it did with #1!

 

[wantb502]

It's definitely not sneaky... It's your body telling you to get to it and DTD! We don't have much control over increased libido I always try to DTD when I'm ovulating because I hope I will fall pregnant and because that's when I want it the most! Hahhaha! I think it's only sneaky when if you and him have agreed you don't want kids and you are actively try to get pregnant: forget condoms, etc.

 

[newbie2013]

We're NTNP in that we're not using birth control. I know how long my cycle is (except this month when it was oddly early) and noticed ewcm about 15-16 days before a few times. I try to dtd after af to after CD15 and then back off a bit. He doesn't realise but I don't think it is sneaky. Someone mentioned stage fright above - my DH would get stage fright for sure if I said to him "I'm ovulating, let's go now!" ;-)

 

[mama2four]

Thanks girls!!! We are just in a odd situation...I had an ectopic at the end of December. I had surgery 2 hours after DH had his vasectomy! So we were both 'done' and then had this little surprise (I'm still bfing my 18mo old and hadn't had a cycle yet). I think I am more on the side of trying one more before he's blank, and he could just go either way. I guess I want to "try" more than he does.
I think this is our last cylce...I'm on CD19, so we will see in the next couple of weeks! But DH is getting his stuff tested sometime next week and we will know better where he stands with his little spermies.

 

[lovehearts]

I think if your OH knows you arnt on BC and he isnt pulling out or wrapping up then its not sneaky at all.

x

 

[Pixxie]

Yep if he knows you can get pregnant theres no harm in helping it along

 

[xxlovexx]

No...DH knows when I'm up to something! lol He has agreed to start TTC again, but we are actually doing the NTNP method...if I only act interested and beg him for some around the time I *think* I'm ovulating, he'll say no... (our DS is only 6.5 months old, I EBF, so not sure if I'm ovulating yet even though I'm on my third pp cycle right now) DH and I have agreed that we want our first two children close in age...so we'll see what happens! (oh, we rarely have a chance to dtd anyways due to DH work schedule and co-sleeping) If DH wants to dtd when I don't think I'm fertile and we "have time," then we do, however, if he wants some when I think I'm ovulating, I get real excited haha.

 

[Mrs Doddy]

It's not sneaky , they don't feel any pressure to dtd and you may be ntnp but IMO your trying so no it's ok !!

 

[angelbabies89]

I would not say its sneaky I dont think men are very aware or even care much about if were ovulating or not unless they dont want kids.. Personally this mo when I had the feelings like I may be ovulating then I would baby dance w hubby and he really was not aware of the fact that we could be getting pregnant but he wants kids so I was more just hoping I could get pregnant

 

[BlondeShorty]

Dh actually kind of gave me some insight into this a while ago. I told him in a few months I wanted us to bd like every other day or every 3 days in hopes I get pregnant quickly. .. He flat out said that he wasn't doing that, it'll happen when it's time. Followed it up with saying "like we're doing now". .. So he's aware that we could get pregnant now and he'd probably be quite excited if we do get pregnant first cycle. Just doesn't want to be pressured or feel like we "have" to bd on set days because it could lead to a baby.. I think he's scared itll feel forced or mechanical that way. So I'm pretty sure when I come up to him and am quite insistent he come to bed and get somewhat upset if he's not feeling up to it.. that he knows why.

When I was still on birth control he knew I was bad for remembering to take my pill... and I can clearly remember a few nights where he would point blank ask me if I'd remembered to be taking my pills, and if we were ok to not use a condom, or would just grab a condom "just in case". So.. I think men may be aware that we are up to something some nights but just don't care since they're NTNP.

 

[maryp0ppins]

My oh happily put the bag of condoms in his bedside drawer that the nurse gave me after my implant removal 2 nights ago. He is refusing sex now tho saying he thinks im trying to trick him lol! He just doesnt want to use a condom,we havent for nearly 6 years. I have a great app on my phone called period diary. It tells you when fertile days are and you can add what days you have sex etc.

 

[29andHolding]

I think there's a reason our bodies rev up during peak fertility time! I think its perfectly natural

 

[Miaw]

I don't feel sneaky, but I also don't tell my fiance when I think I may be ovulating (I'm never sure anyways, I get very little symptoms or none at all)

He actually asked me not to, because I told him once and he got happy and we made love but he could not finish, I asked him if I put pressure on him by telling him it was good time to try and make baby and he said maybe, and not to tell next time until after

It's better like that, I don't want sex to feel like a chore for him anyways, but I do wish we would do it more often, sometimes I know I may be the time and he's just so tired all the time then I don,t know what to do, I can't force him lol