Do you spend the same on each relative?

[babybear11]

Hey!

I'm glad the grotto is back although more of a looker than poster I do use this part of the forum a lot!

I'm just curious on peoples thoughts on this;

Can I spend more on one sister than another? Is that wrong - should it be equal?

Xx

 

[motherofboys]

I spend the same on all family, the only one I would go over on was mil and FIL, and if I went over on one I would raise the others budget.
My brothers and I don't buy for each other but I would attempt to keep it the same or at least not vastly different

 

[babybear11]

Thanks for the response. My issue is one sister picks my ds up from school afew night a week whilst me and dh are at work so I feel as if I should thank her for this at Christmas - I don't want to offend my other sister though in he process! Wasn't sure whether it was the norm to spend the same. X

 

[jenny_wren]

i spend different amounts on different people
mainly because some of them i don't like much
and some don't appreciate expensive cosmetics
or chocolates so they get the cheap stuff



(they don't know or care for the difference between lush and hotel chocolat
stuff to that from poundland so i don't bother anymore, i tried spending
the same but all the expensive stuff got shoved in a drawer
or they regifted it so i gave up and i just buy the crap they like)

​

 

[jenny_wren]

Thanks for the response. My issue is one sister picks my ds up from school afew night a week whilst me and dh are at work so I feel as if I should thank her for this at Christmas - I don't want to offend my other sister though in he process! Wasn't sure whether it was the norm to spend the same. X

could always give her a thankyou present
and a christmas present, maybe give the thankyou one
on christmas eve or something?

​

 

[babybear11]

Thanks for the response. My issue is one sister picks my ds up from school afew night a week whilst me and dh are at work so I feel as if I should thank her for this at Christmas - I don't want to offend my other sister though in he process! Wasn't sure whether it was the norm to spend the same. X

could always give her a thankyou present
and a christmas present, maybe give the thankyou one
on christmas eve or something?

​

I didn't think of that! Yes that sounds a great idea, that way we can show her that we appreciate what she does for us all year but at the same time not upset the other sister as she would notice the difference! Thank you!!! X

 

[Scout]

I spend different amounts. I buy someting I think they'll like and don't worry about how much or little it costs, as long as it's within my budget. My mom spends more on my sister than on me. My sister needs more than I do. It's never bothered me.

 

[Laroawan]

I do the same as Scout. I just try to find meaningful presents that they will like. I don't compare costs.

 

[SmartieMeUp]

I have a budget, but if anything costs less than that, then that's a bonus which goes into another present or an extra is bought. In 2013, I spent £55 on a Partylite tealight holder for eldest SIL where as I got my sisters nothing (don't normally buy for ones with kids), that was more as a 'sorry' present too. Youngest SIL had £30 spent on her.

 

[iiTTCii]

I spend different amounts on different family members.. But most would never know to compare. We always spend a lot on MIL and FIL as they help us out a lot throughout the year and it's our chance to treat them (usually a weekend away somewhere), I have 2 nieces and I agree with my SIL and sister how much we are spending so the other spends the same, so we usually have a £20 budget with my sister but a £40/50 budget with SIL.

 

[liz1985]

I spend different on different people. I do have a roughly equal buget for each nephew, each grandparent etc, but certain people get more for different reasons.

If your worried you could buy 2 presents and give one specifically as a thank you gift and one as a christmas present.

 

[dizzy65]

it varies for us.. DH has 4 siblings, we try to make it equal, but his one brother is 9 where another one is 23, so we generally would spend a bit more on the other one than the younger one just because there "likes" are a bit more expensive.

 

[Amarna]

I don't worry about it and just try to get something they will like. No one in my family would really care how much was spent on them vs. the other though. We're all adults and it's the thought that counts.

 

[jd83]

I would probably buy a thank you gift and give it at a different time than the Christmas gift, if you are worried about how your other sister will perceive it.

I spend around the same on my siblings, if I buy them gifts. This year, I'll probably only buy for their kids as our budget is pretty tight. I will probably do photos of their kids and gift them to my siblings, since that's low cost for me.

 

[Mummy May]

I spend diff amounts on diff people, for example, OH's auntie and uncle (who he's always been close to) get more spent on them than others because they're rich and totally wouldn't appreciate crap but I always buy something I think they will like.

Nieces and nephews I aim for £20 each on them but if it comes under then I won't make it up.

Mam/MIL/FIL I just buy whatever I think they will like but max like £30/£40.

Dad/SMam I've bought quite good gifts this year!

I think I just mainly try to buy things people will like regardless of costs (within reason obvs)
xx

 

[Eve]

I spend more on my family than OH's and I spend more on my parents than my brother and SIL. My brother and SIL have the money to buy anything they want, but my parents do not so I try and spoil them a little around Christmas. I think a thank you gift on Christmas Eve is a great idea on top of regular gift Christmas day or something.

 

[babybear11]

Thanks guys! I think the Christmas Eve thank you gift is the way forward! Xx