Do you think CC/CIO is wrong?

[sjminimac]

going back to the topic at hand, i don't like CIO i think it's desperately sad. CC is not for me or Charlie, it just wouldn't work so i won't put either of us through it. I'm not going to judge or turn against people who do. Your babies, your parenting choices.

Sad? Lol. must give you a bad neck all that looking down on people..

Anyway back to the conversation.. Its ok for people who dont work and are SAHM's to wait until their child is ready to self settle but in reality many parents work and they need other solutions, just because you have a different outlook and you have a different way of life doesnt mean that what we choose to do is wrong

And whoever said its abuse is a tool. Sorry to say. Lol.

Excuse me? I think it's you who needs to wind their neck in a little bit. If you'd care to read through my previous posts on this thread you will see i'm not judgemental when it comes to this. Yes i think it's sad but i don't look down on people who use it. My very best friend used cio on both of her children. She knows how i feel about it so we just don't talk about it. It's not a deal breaker. So now who's the judgemental one?

Its desperately sad is not a way to describe something that your not judgemental about.

so what would you like me to say laura? That i think it's fine? Or would you like me to not give my opinion in case it offends your sensitivities? I don't like it. It's not for me. It makes me want to cry. But i don't judge others for using it because i'm not in their shoes. I'm in mine. I was seriously sleep deprived until 8 months but still chose not to go down that route. This thread asked for opinions, that's mine. I'm not attacking anyone. I don't know what more i can say

 

[Tiff]

I think all children and all families are different. Personally, I don't think that CIO/CC is horrible or harmful. I used it myself when I was at my wits end with Claire... but granted she was around a year and a half when I did it, I couldn't bring myself to do it earlier. But that's just me and what I personally did.

I personally don't believe it has lasting harmful side affects. Heck, I was left by my birth mother when I was 6 months old, put in foster care for a year and finally went home with my adoptive family when I was almost 2. Maybe I'm biased, but to me that is probably part of the worst emotional trauma a child can go through. At 6 months of age, a kiddo knows who their mother is. Mine walked out on me. Then I lived with foster parents whom I'm going to assume I developed an attachment to for a year only to be taken out of their care as well, into the adoptive family I have now.

I'm FINE. Of course there's exceptions to every rule. But I suppose that's why I have such a hard time believing the whole "This will damage your child" (I'm paraphrasing) argument. All the children are still loved and cared for!

Loved your post, Smokey. Summed up how I feel about it as well, almost bang on!

 

[Laura2919]

going back to the topic at hand, i don't like CIO i think it's desperately sad. CC is not for me or Charlie, it just wouldn't work so i won't put either of us through it. I'm not going to judge or turn against people who do. Your babies, your parenting choices.

Sad? Lol. must give you a bad neck all that looking down on people..

Anyway back to the conversation.. Its ok for people who dont work and are SAHM's to wait until their child is ready to self settle but in reality many parents work and they need other solutions, just because you have a different outlook and you have a different way of life doesnt mean that what we choose to do is wrong

And whoever said its abuse is a tool. Sorry to say. Lol.

Excuse me? I think it's you who needs to wind their neck in a little bit. If you'd care to read through my previous posts on this thread you will see i'm not judgemental when it comes to this. Yes i think it's sad but i don't look down on people who use it. My very best friend used cio on both of her children. She knows how i feel about it so we just don't talk about it. It's not a deal breaker. So now who's the judgemental one?

Its desperately sad is not a way to describe something that your not judgemental about.

so what would you like me to say laura? That i think it's fine? Or would you like me to not give my opinion in case it offends your sensitivities? I don't like it. It's not for me. It makes me want to cry. But i don't judge others for using it because i'm not in their shoes. I'm in mine. I was seriously sleep deprived until 8 months but still chose not to go down that route. This thread asked for opinions, that's mine. I'm not attacking anyone. I don't know what more i can say

How can you seriously say you dont judge and then call it desperately sad lol.
So you call it desperately sad fair enough but dont try and say you dont judge when clearly you do to call it desperately sad

 

[sjminimac]

well if by being judgemental you mean having an opinion that's different to your then i guess i'm judgemental. We clearly have different understandings of the word.

 

[Laura2919]

well if by being judgemental you mean having an opinion that's different to your then i guess i'm judgemental. We clearly have different understandings of the word.

Ok whatever. I cant be bothered to keep going on.

 

[jojo_b]

To be fair to SJ, she said it's desperately sad. All the other mums who use CC etc have AGREED that it's desperately sad and have been in tears themselves. I don't think she was judging, more stating that it's sad for parents to get to that point. She wouldn't do it herself - fine, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's judging. JMO! x x

 

[Mrs Mayhem]

To be fair to SJ, she said it's desperately sad. All the other mums who use CC etc have AGREED that it's desperately sad and have been in tears themselves. I don't think she was judging, more stating that it's sad for parents to get to that point. She wouldn't do it herself - fine, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's judging. JMO! x x

I'd like to also add, since when was it wrong to express that something makes you feel sad & tearful?? It also makes me sad and tearful, I have never practiced CC or CIO precisely because the thought alone makes me extremely sad and upsets me. If that also makes me judgemental then I'm sorry, but that is the way I feel.

 

[AppleBlossom]

I think to make out that something someone does with their child brings you to tears is quite off. Child abuse is desperately sad. Poverty is desperately sad. To insinuate you can't bear to think about someone using CC/CIO as it upsets you does make it sound like you think what they're doing is wrong. Which is a little judgemental. But y'know, if that's how it makes you feel then fair enough.

 

[Mrs Mayhem]

I think to make out that something someone does with their child brings you to tears is quite off. Child abuse is desperately sad. Poverty is desperately sad. To insinuate you can't bear to think about someone using CC/CIO as it upsets you does make it sound like you think what they're doing is wrong. Which is a little judgemental. But y'know, if that's how it makes you feel then fair enough.

I'm not sure thats what SJ meant, and it's not what I meant. What I meant was that the thought of leaving my child to cry makes me sad and has made me cry. Not because I think that others are abusing their children or leaving them or that we can't bear to think about someone using it, more that I can't think about using it and I can't bear to hear my child cry.

Its about me, not about others. I know people use it because they have to, not because they enjoy to.

Am still not sure I've explained myself properly to be honest, but its not a judgment on others, its a personal feeling.

 

[SKATERBUN]

each to their own, but before 6 months definitely not something that anyone should attempt theres always a reason for crying and it shouldnt be ignored.
If there was a serious fatal reason for it and it was ignored how could you forgive yourself. I always find it best to soothe them in some way they then learn to trust and feel secure in themselves.

 

[smokey]

I remember reading an article once where this so called expert against cc/cio claimed cot death was the result of a broken heart and the baby died of lonelyness.
It was the most disturbing, discusting and upsetting claim I have ever heard of.

 

[sjminimac]

I remember reading an article once where this so called expert against cc/cio claimed cot death was the result of a broken heart and the baby died of lonelyness.
It was the most disturbing, discusting and upsetting claim I have ever heard of.

That's horrible

 

[Mrs Mayhem]

I remember reading an article once where this so called expert against cc/cio claimed cot death was the result of a broken heart and the baby died of lonelyness.
It was the most disturbing, discusting and upsetting claim I have ever heard of.

OMG.

thats just awful

 

[sjminimac]

I think to make out that something someone does with their child brings you to tears is quite off. Child abuse is desperately sad. Poverty is desperately sad. To insinuate you can't bear to think about someone using CC/CIO as it upsets you does make it sound like you think what they're doing is wrong. Which is a little judgemental. But y'know, if that's how it makes you feel then fair enough.

I'm not sure thats what SJ meant, and it's not what I meant. What I meant was that the thought of leaving my child to cry makes me sad and has made me cry. Not because I think that others are abusing their children or leaving them or that we can't bear to think about someone using it, more that I can't think about using it and I can't bear to hear my child cry.

Its about me, not about others. I know people use it because they have to, not because they enjoy to.

Am still not sure I've explained myself properly to be honest, but its not a judgment on others, its a personal feeling.

precisely this. i can't bear the thought of ME doing CIO with MY child. I don't give a flying wotsit if people think i'm wrong for thinking and saying that i find it desperately sad. I can't leave my child to cry. I opened up my heart a few posts back and shared something very personal in an effort to try to explain what i mean in an increasingly hostile thread. It didn't make any difference whatsoever so hey what's a girl to do? I'll just pull my judgey pants up to my armpits and sit here waiting for more non-judgemental people to judge my opinion and brand me judgemental

 

[AppleBlossom]

No, I see where you're coming from. Honestly, your comments are not judgemental in comparison to many I have seen on this subject. I understand you don't agree with it, just as I don't agree with cosleeping, I find it risky. But I'm not saying that a parent who does it is taking risks with their children's lives, just that personally, I wouldn't take any risks, iykwim?

 

[Nibblenic]

I remember reading an article once where this so called expert against cc/cio claimed cot death was the result of a broken heart and the baby died of lonelyness.
It was the most disturbing, discusting and upsetting claim I have ever heard of.

See its these kind of 'experts' that send some parents into a frenzee. It only takes some unfounded, sometimes riduculous claim to get into someones head. Before you know it there is whole groups of parent trying to prevent thier children dying of a broken heart

 

[Gen79]

I know I'm coming into this really late but I wanted to respond to the person who asked what non-CIO people think about our kids growing up not knowing how to sleep. Of course I don't speak for everyone, obviously. I do think its a good question; my DH has always had trouble sleeping and we all know people who do. No one knows if it actually has anything to do with having been sleep trained as infants though.

This is the thing I got from this forum and what Elizabeth Pantley says in her book; there are two sides, the cry it out side and the wait it out side. But there's no reason you can teach your baby good sleep habits with out leaving them to cry. I know people get upset about the "training" word but operant conditioning is a real thing and it applies to humans too. Its a lot of work and not easy but its based on sound psychological principles. I plan on teaching my daughter good sleep habits a little at a time like everything else I'll have to teach her over the course of her childhood. I don't believe a baby should neccessarily have to sleep like an adult does. (It doesn't mean I like that fact though.)

I also think that, like many have said, every mom and baby is different. Some babies will respond will to CC and some won't. Some will do better with extended co-sleeping.

The most important and difficult thing about being a parent is recognizing and implementing the most appropriate course of action for your own child.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I know I'm coming into this really late but I wanted to respond to the person who asked what non-CIO people think about our kids growing up not knowing how to sleep. Of course I don't speak for everyone, obviously. I do think its a good question; my DH has always had trouble sleeping and we all know people who do. No one knows if it actually has anything to do with having been sleep trained as infants though.

This is the thing I got from this forum and what Elizabeth Pantley says in her book; there are two sides, the cry it out side and the wait it out side. But there's no reason you can teach your baby good sleep habits with out leaving them to cry. I know people get upset about the "training" word but operant conditioning is a real thing and it applies to humans too. Its a lot of work and not easy but its based on sound psychological principles. I plan on teaching my daughter good sleep habits a little at a time like everything else I'll have to teach her over the course of her childhood. I don't believe a baby should neccessarily have to sleep like an adult does. (It doesn't mean I like that fact though.)

I also think that, like many have said, every mom and baby is different. Some babies will respond will to CC and some won't. Some will do better with extended co-sleeping.

The most important and difficult thing about being a parent is recognizing and implementing the most appropriate course of action for your own child.

x

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

No, I see where you're coming from. Honestly, your comments are not judgemental in comparison to many I have seen on this subject. I understand you don't agree with it, just as I don't agree with cosleeping, I find it risky. But I'm not saying that a parent who does it is taking risks with their children's lives, just that personally, I wouldn't take any risks, iykwim?

This is what I cant understand? I can understand co-sleeping? I have many friends who do it, dont get me wrong but for me co-sleeping was a huge no no and teaching my baby to fall asleep was a huge yes yes!

 

[Reedy]

I. I also think that, like many have said, every mom and baby is different. Some babies will respond will to CC and some won't.

Totally agree with this x I know some people who have tried CC & their child has cried so much they were being sick.
If F had cried so much that he was making himself sick I would have stopped immediately & tried something else but this luckily wasnt the case for us & after 2 nights he was falling asleep by himself & staying asleep & waking up in a much brighter mood x