Do you think preemie families should be given financial help?

[Foogirl]

I've always thought of the Preemie section of B&B as being one of the most non-cliquey places online. We seem happy to disagree with each other, but always with respect for each other's individual situations and the choices that we/they have made.

So very true. I love we can all be adults about it and laugh, cry, scream whenever we need to. I'd have gone crazy without this section and never once was made to feel like an interloper or an outsider, right from the very start. And the same is true of the ladies I have met IRL, from this section. The same is definitely not true of some of the ladies on other parts of this board.

Total respect you you Marley. Wanna be in my gang? We can plait each others' hair and swap clothes and shit.

Just also wanted to add I am reading this thinking how strong you all are to deal with the hands you have been dealt. I don't see how a benefit awarded to a child, and administered by a parent could be policed in such a way that it could be taken back if it wasn't spent on something for that child in a defined period of time. If it was means-tested then fine, but it's not. Surely all that is happening is some money being put aside for the future of the child as I'm sure would be done in the absence of the benefit if people could afford to?

Thanks for the kind words. We do find strength in numbers in this little corner. And yes, that's exactly the point. If it weren't for the extra stuff we need to pay for, I'd be saving for Abby's future anyway. And for sure, there are some days / weeks / months we don't need to pay for extras. Maybe a better option would be for me to spend the money on sweeties in those months

 

[Foogirl]

Since this thread has now covered various things now and we were talking bout savings for children. Can anyone recommend a good account that a child can't access until they are about 25? Holly has her trust fund she will get at 18 but I don't want to give her all the money then because I can just about remember back then and I probably would have spent it on clothes, shoes & handbags! I have been looking but can't see anything.

At the moment her money sits in our account but need to sort something soon!

I think there are accounts you can lock up til they are 25, but they do tend to be trust / shares accounts rather than cash savings. Have a look on Moneysupermarket. I'll see what Which? recommends too.

The other option is to take out an endowment or life assurance type policy that matures when she is 25. This is what my mum and dad did for my siblings and I. Of course the FSA would insist I note that the value of investments can go up as well as down.......

 

[AP]

Not sweeties Foogirl...

Bangles

 

[lozzy21]

God yes I think they should get something. It cost us £70 when Niamh was in hospital with bronciolitis for taxi's and food for OH, would have been more but I got fed because I was BF.

 

[vermeil]

I've always thought of the Preemie section of B&B as being one of the most non-cliquey places online. We seem happy to disagree with each other, but always with respect for each other's individual situations and the choices that we/they have made.

well said!

Christmas before last our son was diagnosed with CP. He was 7 months, 4 corrected and alredy showing signs of paralysis on his right side. We were told he might never walk. Fast forward a (stressful, scary) year and all such signs have disapeared. He *seems* like a normal, happy toddler.

But like you other wonderful ladies have said - you NEVER stop thinking about it. Will he have a learning disability, is he developmentally delayed, he knows 3 words, not 5 as he should at his age!! you always worry about well everything. I'm constantly (secretly) jealous of my friends with young children who worry about oh not eating vegetables or stained clohes. I guess that part of having a preemie just never goes away.

 

[Foogirl]

Not sweeties Foogirl...

Bangles

Of course!

 

[Lottie86]

I love the way we can all have different opinions but we never get into a slagging match or anything over it we just agree to disagree. You're a fab bunch


Foo: Findlay would suggest buying monkeys rather than bangles

 

[xxClaire_24xx]

i save what little i get of my working tax credits and spend it on a holiday every year but with our wages we are safe on what we spend it so dont need the tax credits but we are entitled to them iykwim

as for the premmie thread i love it here i have always had my opinion heard and always can say how i feel xx

 

[mummy3]

I haven't had internet because of moving. I feel pretty attacked tbh, I didn't mean to offend anyone and apologised I have 2 special needs children, I do understand how financially hard it is! I also said it was different if its your first child and you had no real inclination you would have a preemie. I have 4 preemies so yeah odds were pretty against me so I feel my responsibilty as I planned more, like I say, torn.

I take back everything, I thought this was just a friendly debate, certainly nothing personal was meant

 

[Foogirl]

I haven't had internet because of moving. I feel pretty attacked tbh, I didn't mean to offend anyone and apologised I have 2 special needs children, I do understand how financially hard it is! I also said it was different if its your first child and you had no real inclination you would have a preemie. I have 4 preemies so yeah odds were pretty against me so I feel my responsibilty as I planned more, like I say, torn.

I take back everything, I thought this was just a friendly debate, certainly nothing personal was meant

I certainly wasn't attacking you, just explaining my situation, as you explained yours. I'm totally with you about taking personal responsibility and making your own plans for a difficult situation. But if there is a benefit available, I see nothing wrong with claiming it. After all, if there had been help available, would you have turned it down?

 

[xxClaire_24xx]

I haven't had internet because of moving. I feel pretty attacked tbh, I didn't mean to offend anyone and apologised I have 2 special needs children, I do understand how financially hard it is! I also said it was different if its your first child and you had no real inclination you would have a preemie. I have 4 preemies so yeah odds were pretty against me so I feel my responsibilty as I planned more, like I say, torn.

I take back everything, I thought this was just a friendly debate, certainly nothing personal was meant

i think that you brought up a good question for a thread for sure and have just said how i feel and its also good to see how other people feel x

 

[mummy3]

I dont know if I would take a benefit if it was availible, maybe? After #1 probably but at this stage, what with already having 4 preemies tbh I dont think so unless of course things were absolutely dire as you never know whats around the corner!

Perhaps I didn't explain well, I dont have any kinds of problems with benefits, they can be very useful. In fact my autistic son uses a state school district special ed preschool programme where he gets therapies he needs for free so you could say thats a similar thing, I was just questioning (absolutely not judging) the saving of the money if its not immediately needed. I didn't mean no parents should get it just thinking aloud whether it should be there as insurance for the future for some kids but not others iykwim. Obviously if kids need extra help they should receive it exactly when they need it!

I do really apologise if I upset anyone, its so hard to judge tone online

 

[Foogirl]

I dont know if I would take a benefit if it was availible, maybe? After #1 probably but at this stage, what with already having 4 preemies tbh I dont think so unless of course things were absolutely dire as you never know whats around the corner!

Perhaps I didn't explain well, I dont have any kinds of problems with benefits, they can be very useful. In fact my autistic son uses a state school district special ed preschool programme where he gets therapies he needs for free so you could say thats a similar thing, I was just questioning (absolutely not judging) the saving of the money if its not immediately needed. I didn't mean no parents should get it just thinking aloud whether it should be there as insurance for the future for some kids but not others iykwim. Obviously if kids need extra help they should receive it exactly when they need it!

I do really apologise if I upset anyone, its so hard to judge tone online

Lol, well, how about if I am saving it in case I have another preemie in future and can't afford to shell out for Abby's stuff That's good right?

And don't worry about offending me, I'm thick skinned enough not to be offended by other people's views!

 

[mummy3]

^^ Haha yeah in that case I'd say very good planning and be very jealous I didn't think of that before I had four of them

 

[Marleysgirl]

Curious. It's six months until Andrew's third birthday (almost to the day) and yet the DWP have already sent me out the 3yrly review form to complete, so that we can get the mobility element (which we won't get so I won't try). Six months struck me as rather early - has anyone else received theirs so promptly?

 

[AP]

We just got ours, due to expire in June.

 

[Foogirl]

Curious. It's six months until Andrew's third birthday (almost to the day) and yet the DWP have already sent me out the 3yrly review form to complete, so that we can get the mobility element (which we won't get so I won't try). Six months struck me as rather early - has anyone else received theirs so promptly?

We got ours before we were even sent the letter saying she was getting the initial award for care! I think it was in October and she is eligible for mobility at the end of April. I had to phone to query it because the care award came through incredibly quickly and we had no idea she'd been given it and I actually thought they were sending us the forms to fill in again. They guy said the reason they send it so early is because it can take 3 months for it to be assessed.

 

[hawalkden]

Definally. Isaac was born at 35 weeks and spent 19 days in NICU so OH spent all his paternity time off just back and forth to NICU and by the end it was stressful due to no change or saying he can come him. He was aloud home on the Friday night and OH was able to spend just the weekend with him before going back to work on the Monday so I feel he's missed out big time at the moments I spent and spend with Isaac now.

So yes I think the Government should give NICU parents and parents who's older children are in hospital for a long amount of time a Grant or extended Paternity Pay or for older children Children's Sick Pay.

Just so it covers bus fare or petrol money and money for the café etc. also that little bit of money could go on bills. It's bad enough being on Maternity Pay with just one income coming in let alone Maternity Pay then OH having to take unpaid leave or using their holidays.

Great thread, a petition should be started and then given to the Government to changing money and payment issues when parents who are going through a tough time as it is don't have to worry about money and paying things whilst not at home.

Like some of you ladies have said about Maternity should start when your LO's are at home not when you finish work etc.

money eh? The benefit System is totally mashed up and not fair. When people need the money for the right reason and not rewarding lazy people shows what our Government and Country has come to.

Hope all your Premmie Babies are doing all well !