Do you want to know the sex before birth? Why?

[Angel_blues]

I didn't want to know until birth, my husband begged and begged at the ultrasound so I told him we could find out. I swore him to secrecy until the birth but he ended up telling his whole family and lying about it, I almost killed him. I was honestly so disappointed in the whole thing. Next time we are not finding out until the end. We have talked about it and he wants to do some kind of gender reveal party, its not happening.

I'm affraid this will happen to us... I think having it written down and sealed in an envelope is an excellent idea! I may have to buy a safe to put it in lol!

 

[skycastles]

I want to not find out until birth for my first, and DH agrees, so hopefully we can stick to it. I would want to find out for my second, because I would desperately want a different gender by then, and I don't want to spend the whole pregnancy hoping for one gender when it's not.
Also, im terrified i'll get a lot of pink presents if it's a girl.. I prefer a girl but pink is one of my least favourite colours.
Oh and I also don't think it's feasible for my DH to know when I don't.. I bet I would catch him looking at something gender-specific one day or another haha

 

[Pearls18]

Before falling pregnant I said I wouldn't want to know, but when it came down to it both times I was ready to know and it really helped me bond, especially first time as he wasn't planned so it just enabled us to picture things more. I've never understand the "it helps you push" in my experience that's utter crock, gender was the last thing on my mind, I just wanted it to be over and pushed my damn hardest, not knowing the gender would not have changed that! Perhaps if you were tired it would be different, but I imagine every woman just wants her baby anyway...? Plus it's just as much of a surprise at 20 weeks as 40 weeks, so never understood the "wanting a surprise" aspect either really, delayed gratification I guess?

I really don't think one of you can find out, I think that'll divide you in pregnancy, I think you have to come to a decision either way, there's not right answer which one you choose but I doubt one finding out and one not could work. I would want to share the experience of finding out together, whether that's at 20 or at 40 weeks, it's a very special moment whenever it is, to find out separately just wouldn't be the same?

 

[JumpingIn]

It astounds me that anyone could go the whole pregnancy without knowing!

I don't understand the surprise thing...Surely the day you find out it's a surprise too, and surely you have enough surprises on the day you give birth and far more important things to think about than the baby's gender...

I also want to bond with my baby by knowing as much about him or her as possible...I really hate calling the baby "it" and not being able to clearly imagine the future because I don't know if we're having a son or a daughter...I just can't wait for this stage to be over!

It'd also drive me nuts not knowing.

Each to their own...team yellowers are obviously much stronger than I am

Still, as others have said I think it's both of you or neither of you...You couldn't have one partner keeping the secret without it either slipping out or feeling weird, I think.

 

[jren]

We want to know. We have been wanting a baby for so long, I can't imagine waiting.

 

[aimee-lou]

Everyone we know has that they would have to find out, yet when we have announced our 3 we announced it with name, date, time and weight and people have said they love the surprise too......you get to meet this little person for the first time and without any preconceptions or ideas. We don't even share name ideas lol.

Also my husband has been the first to confirm gender with all 3.... Its like a tradition lol. If number 4 does happen we'll stick to our usual patterns lol.

 

[x-ginge-x]

I was a mama, and I was glad as it really limited the amount of crap people bought us as it gender neutral is difficult to get hold of, we were going to find out the second time so we could tell our son he was getting brother/sister but I think my husbands changed his mind and he would rather not know I have had several friends also be told wrong! So its quite offputting

 

[Ganton]

I didn't find out with either of mine and definitely wouldn't if we are lucky enough to have a third either. I absolutely love that moment when my baby is put on my chest and for a brief time it's just our baby, then my husband announces it's a boy and it just feels right. I can't explain it but it's amazing and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I thought I wanted a girl with my first pregnancy and I don't think that knowing I was expecting a boy from 20 weeks would have helped me to bond with him more at that stage. However, in those seconds that I had my baby in my arms without knowing the sex, I fell in love with THAT baby and it wouldn't have mattered of it was boy, girl or monkey, I wouldn't change it for the world.

Not knowing did drive me mad for the last few weeks though!

 

[Angel_blues]

I didn't find out with either of mine and definitely wouldn't if we are lucky enough to have a third either. I absolutely love that moment when my baby is put on my chest and for a brief time it's just our baby, then my husband announces it's a boy and it just feels right. I can't explain it but it's amazing and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I thought I wanted a girl with my first pregnancy and I don't think that knowing I was expecting a boy from 20 weeks would have helped me to bond with him more at that stage. However, in those seconds that I had my baby in my arms without knowing the sex, I fell in love with THAT baby and it wouldn't have mattered of it was boy, girl or monkey, I wouldn't change it for the world.

Not knowing did drive me mad for the last few weeks though!

You just solidified my stance! I definitely do not want to know! Sounds like an amazing feeling!

 

[tverb84]

I would like to know before that way I can decorate the nursery in the colours I want When my mom was pregnant with my brother she thought he was another girl and after he was born she had to re do the nursery. That's the main reason why I want to know so I won't have to change the nursery.

 

[mh_ccl]

I was team yellow for my daughter. If we have another, I'd like it to be a surprise again. I don't really buy into traditional gender roles, so I would never have a pink or blue nursery in the first place. And I'd we had known we were having a daughter, I'm sure that we would have gotten an onslaught of pink crap.

 

[meg_bellamy]

I have a feeling I will want to know! I am way too impatient and a control freak!

 

[Kiki1993]

I'm the opposite of you actually I don't see the point in not knowing, for me here are the reasons:
- Helps narrow down name choices and focus more.
- Helps bonding to be able to give her/him a definite name or call him "he is active" or "She is active"
- Get to prepare more - getting clothes (I do like gender equal clothes but I would also like some blue outfits or pink outfits) and would avoid the awkward stranger that calls your daughter "HE" etc.
- Gender reveal parties are getting popular, could make the baby shower more exciting
- the argument of wanting a surprise is invalid for me, it's not like your giving birth to a chicken, there are 2 choices.
- I think it would be kind of like a reward, aw I made it through the most sick stage and now I can know if it's a boy or girl!
- It can help you budget if it's your 2nd or 3rd child etc, if your first is a girl you can recycle and save money if it's another girl, if it's a boy you know to put away a bit extra.
- This will sound weird but there isn't many gender equal clothes in the market, my friend did a "yellow" bump where she didn't find out and she got 3, yes 3, of the same baby grow, and loads of duplicate gifts which to be honest ( I was one of the duplicates) it was quite embarrassing for the guests because one girl got her just a pair of timmy dummies while their other friend got her the same pack as well as the same baby grow i got her and another 3 gifts.
- I don't see the point in me being all "oh I can't wait to find out" when I can find out.. what's the point in putting myself through the feeling of impatience when it isn't needed.

 

[sherwood]

...

 

[prettybirdy27]

I desperately want to know as soon as possible when I finally get pregnant. I can't imagine not knowing. I want to have our nursery done up and to buy gender-specific things before the baby comes home.

 

[geordiemoo]

I didn't find out with dd and wouldn't again and DH agrees too. I loved the not knowing and guessing all the way through. I was still able to prepare for her arrival and we had no trouble bonding. Each to their own though, most of my friends have found out, all said they were too impatient to wait. I feel its the only true surprise I will ever get in life.

 

[tverb84]

I have a feeling I will want to know! I am way too impatient and a control freak!

Same here. I couldn't wait nine months to know.

 

[LockandKey]

I found out with my daughter, with my son I thought I wanted to wait until he was born, but when it came to the night before the 20 week scan, I decided at the last minute to find out because I am the type of person who needs to be able to plan far ahead, so I wanted to be properly prepared for whatever we were having, that included buying gender appropriate clothing and nurser set, and focusing on one name. When we have our 3rd, I will probably find out again, even though we already have clothing for both boys and girls, I still just need to know so I can plan ahead and know what to expect.

 

[Leggiero]

I definitely want to know! To me, knowing will make a dream come true feel real. I know I will be walking on air the day I find out, I'll just be so excited. I really imagine the moment at the ultrasound screening to be just as moving as finding out at the birth.
Also, as another post mentioned, I've always thought it would be a nice little prize to learn the gender after surviving a potentially torturous first trimester!