Doc says "Don't find out the sex of baby"

[Louisa K]

Well I went to the doctors yesterday morning. Now I really really like this doctor, she's always been my favourite one at my doc's.. So I was really pleased to see her friendly face when I entered the room..

She was so helpful, gave me lots of advise. Felt the baby with her hands and told my OH to come and have a feel, I've never seen his eyeballs go so big, he said he could really feel something.. She asked how we were feeling about the new arrival and answered all our concerns..

She found the heartbeat (whoop whoop) and it sounded good and strong again..

Then she said, oh you have your mid pregnancy scan on the 02nd Jan, are you finding out the sex??

I said yes, Im a planner, I'd like to know, so I can be prepared and ready when the baby gets here.

She said what if it has its legs crossed (with a big smile on her face) lol

I said, well I'd pay for a 4d scan, and hope for a better result, we want one anyway because they are amazing.

What if it wasnt the days of the 3d / 4d scans and they didnt exsist she says (again with a grin on her friendly face)

Errr whites and lemons I guess, I said giving up and thinking theres a story coming.......

Then she went on to say how we shouldnt find out as it takes all the fun out of the pregnancy and makes it drag on forever.. She asked us why we needed to know and said that we truely didnt need to know and that we shouldnt find out and keep that as a surprise..

My OH then butted his nose in and said "yeah yeah, see I told her we dont need to know"

Great! Now Im out numbered in the mini doctors room of hell!!

Ooooh now im confused, I was so sure I wanted to know, now Im not sure..

HELP!!

What should I do!!

 

[skiwi]

the doctor really had no wright trying to change your minds about finding out the sex, its up to you and your partner....... some people like to know some people dont, i wanted to know, so you can plan for boy things or girls, but her legs were crossed....... just talk to other half about it, if you want to know, tell him, you are the one carring the little one.....

 

[Wobbles]

You can tell the person who does the sexing that you want to know and your partner doesn't so if at the end of the appointment would it be ok for him to leave the room and her to tell you.

Your doctor as Skiwi said really had no right!

 

[Louisa K]

Yeah I was pretty shocked that she had such a strong opinion on it..

It made me feel like I was being selfish for wanting to know..

 

[Wobbles]

No way are you! Personal choice!

I loved finding out personally when I got home and it sunk in i found myself saying good morning to 'her' the next morning I felt more bonded plus I am impatient I couldn't not lol

 

[lynz]

me and my other half have talked bout this and his answer was ill go along with whatever you want (like he really had a choice anyway ) i would want to know as i think it helps you plan for the little one arriving and like wobbles said i do think it would help you to bond. i am not even waiting for the scan i am gonna buy on of the intelligender tests off ebay as soon as i am able

 

[Louisa K]

Yeah you girls are right ya know, why shouldn't I know if thats what I want !!

I think ill go crazy not knowing, esp knowing that I could know !!

Has anyone on the forum found out then wished they didnt after, Im pretty sure there aren't many who have, according to the doc, most wish they waited for the surprise after the babies birth..

Anyway I've been looking forward to finding out for ages now, so I think I'll stick with that and find out.. Horah!!

 

[shamrockgirl4]

it really is ur choice hun wether u want to find out or not not the docs they never used to ttell the sex when i was pg with 1st and 2nd babies they started to tell when i was pg with my 3rd and i found out and i liked knowing what i was having

 

[Samantha675]

Your doctor was totally out of line, it is NONE of her business. Seriously, how does it affect her if you find out what YOUR child is? Find out if you want to.

So I had a dream last night my DH and I were at my 24 week scan, and as soon as the tech put the little wand on my belly, all that showed up on the screen was a little bottom, and boy bits. I really really want a girl, and so in my dream, it was like my son was going LOOK LOOK!!! It was the funniest thing. So, I have decided that if we can see what the baby is at 24 weeks, so be it, if not, then it will be a surprise.

 

[Linzi]

Yeah I was pretty shocked that she had such a strong opinion on it..

It made me feel like I was being selfish for wanting to know..

My doctor was pretty much the same with us when we were discussing the downs testing.. my boyfriend and I had already decided with pretty much no discussion we would have the blood test, but the doctor talked him out of it completely, and now he's telling me I shouldnt when I want to! Its not going to make a difference to me, if anything was wrong I wouldnt end the pregnancy, but theres stuff to think about, you know? Im a planner too and I was really annoyed that she'd had such a forced opinion on us.

I think its really unfair of them to do that and I feel for you completely, as wobbles said, if you want to know then its your right to, and if you OH doesnt then get him to leave the room!

Grr! They make me so angry sometimes!

 

[ColtonsMom]

Has anyone on the forum found out then wished they didnt after, Im pretty sure there aren't many who have, according to the doc, most wish they waited for the surprise after the babies birth..

I wanted to know.. and I'm glad I found out. Now I get to decorate his room and make it adorable!! It would be hard to do that if I didn't know what we were having, most unisex stuff is so plain.
I did hold off on finding out until my 20 week scan though. You can actually find out as early as 16 weeks, but my mom had her last childs done at 16wks and it ended up wrong.. my little "sister, Sheilah" popped out a Daylon

 

[Louisa K]

Thanks for all the replies ladies.

I've spoken to my husband to be about it and we both decided that we both want to know, thats what we decided a while back and we're going to hopefully (unless the baby heard the whole discussion and agreed with the doctor and decides to hide its bits away) find out at our next scan which is on the 2nd of January.

I'm to much of a list lover to not know really. I would like to be prepared and organised before the baby arrives in May.

Plus I do like the idea of bonding with the baba throughout the rest of the pregnancy.

 

[Louisa K]

My doctor was pretty much the same with us when we were discussing the downs testing.. my boyfriend and I had already decided with pretty much no discussion we would have the blood test, but the doctor talked him out of it completely, and now he's telling me I shouldnt when I want to! Its not going to make a difference to me, if anything was wrong I wouldnt end the pregnancy, but theres stuff to think about, you know? Im a planner too and I was really annoyed that she'd had such a forced opinion on us.

Thats really bad, why can't doctors understand that we are the ones going through the pregnancy and some things are personal choice. I really think they should just support our decisions on things like this. If they are really against something they should maybe just advise or give another opinion but still encourage us to do what we feel is best for us at the time.

 

[lorrilou]

If you want to know the sex of your baby then that is entirely up to you and has nothing to do with your doctor!! Everyone is different, i didnt want to know with my first, but i wanted to this time, and it does make planning things abit easier.

Hopefully he/she wont have their legs crossed at your scan.

 

[Linzi]

Thats really bad, why can't doctors understand that we are the ones going through the pregnancy and some things are personal choice. I really think they should just support our decisions on things like this. If they are really against something they should maybe just advise or give another opinion but still encourage us to do what we feel is best for us at the time.

Exactly. Stand your ground

xxx

 

[Tam]

I am sorry, but I think it is each to their own........

I persoanlly don't think I could go thru a pregnancy without knowing the sex if I had a chance.....it would drive me nuts! I want to find a name, the right colours to decorate the room and clothes etc.......it takes no fun out of it at all in my opinion, infact I think it helps to build the excitement knowing what you are having and starts to make it a bit more real, and gives you chance to try and get your head around having either a daughter or a son, plus......as my bump has been known as the babies name, it was so natural to call the baby by his & her name and made it even more exciting to see who I was calling Jade & Alfie for the past 4 months

I say, follow your heart..........do as YOU wish, not what you are TOLD!


Good luck babe! x

 

[Tilly]

I don't agree with your doctor either, she shouldn't use her opinion to influence you or your husband in your decision. It's your baby and you have a right to do whatever you want. I can understand that some couples would like a surprise, but me and my boyfriend wanted to know as it was really bugging us and we wanted to be organised.

Do what you feel is right.

 

[Firsttimer]

I dont care what anyone tells me I am finding out the sex of baby and if it has its legs crossed ill go back again ............... I like to be prepared

 

[Margerle]

I'm the odd duck out I guess. It its a healthcare professional's obligation to offer information to a patient. Wether that's for early genetic testing, or the + and - of certain birthing options. I feel this was just another part of that counsel that a good doctor gives.

Maybe he shouldn't have phrased it as "you shouldn't" but more of a "you might rethink that". But either way, the very conversation gave the patient an opportunity to rethink an irriversable decision and make darn sure that's what they wanted... which they did

I'd take that doc over the one that just does what he's told... It shows he is truly interested in the individual patient and not just herding "cattle" through his offices so to speak.

 

[Jenny]

Its entirely up to you. I just think your doctor was just trying to show you that a surprise wouldn't be all that bad either. I've wanted to know with both my pregnancies but bub didn't let us on either lol. So surprise city for us again. Good luck on your U/S hon, I hope your little one cooperates