Does anyone else feel like this...?

[ILoveShoes]

I apologise if this sounds self indulgent and catty...

I can't help thinking that me and my DH would make wonderful parents. Unfortunately, we've not been blessed in that department yet. We have our own house, we both have good jobs, and we have an amazing relationship.

I feel so upset and jealous when I hear of people who have not been trying who 'fall' pregnant. I can't help thinking, 'Why not us?!'

I'm so worried that I may have 'damaged' myself too. I was on the injection for years, and I suffered with an eating disorder 3 years ago. I sometimes wonder if I'm broken because of this.

Also, I'm fed up because AF is 5 days late, but I'm still testing BFN.

Sorry if I sound like a bitch. I've not got anyone that I can say these things to.

Does anyone else feel the same?

 

[DragonMummy]

Mate I completely get what youre saying. And I agree. I cannot stand when you see these hideous people with neglected children (from all social backgrounds - wealth doesn't come into it I'm talking deprived of LOVE) who don't deserve them but get to keep them and then theres us lovely people who may not be the best parents in the world but we'd give it a darn good shot.... (and I think I'm doing ok so far!) It's just one of lifes massive injustices.


I took the injection for years and it took nearly 3 years to conceive Harry but that's cos it took over 18 months to get the bloody thing out of my system. Keep going - youre not damaged just a bit behind. You'll catch up. xxx

 

[ILoveShoes]

Thank you so much, DragonMummy.
I was so worried that I sounded like a bitch, but I think you know exactly what I'm trying to say.
Thank you.
xx

 

[vkj73]

i agree. i totally get it too. i find myself wondering if events from my past are some sort of "punishment" for this process now. but then i try to stop myself and think of course we can have a fabulous little one together. i try to visualize what we do want. action follows thought.

we all have our pasts and we are all human.

there truly is power in positive thinking.

 

[Zen_Jenn]

I absolutely know how you feel. I teach graduate students, and a lot of the men have pregnant wives or young children. It just wasn't an option when I was a grad student, trying to deal with a pregnancy or baby while studying 70 hours a week was not feasible for female students (one student was pregnant, but she was able to take a year off school because her husband worked, i was a foreign student and would have been unable to take time off). So yes, I am angry and jealous that it's not happening instantaneously now that I'm done school.

I try to just think of how I'll have so much life experience to share with my wee one, and if it takes a while, I'll just cherish it that much more

 

[aquablue]

i totally get what your saying .. a friend of the family is 17 and preg, he has no job and nor does she and honestly i cant stand the fact that she got preg so easily!!!! what has she got better then me???

 

[ILoveShoes]

Thank you, VKJ.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way.
Loads of baby dust to you too.
xx

 

[ILoveShoes]

i totally get what your saying .. a friend of the family is 17 and preg, he has no job and nor does she and honestly i cant stand the fact that she got preg so easily!!!! what has she got better then me???

This is exactly what I mean!

xx

 

[aquablue]

i totally get what your saying .. a friend of the family is 17 and preg, he has no job and nor does she and honestly i cant stand the fact that she got preg so easily!!!! what has she got better then me???

This is exactly what I mean!

xx

i feel the same way as you totally!!! baby dust for you and good luck xxx
i just try to put it aside say that it will happen .. it has to happen!!

 

[ILoveShoes]

Lots of baby dust to you too, Aqua Blue xx

 

[vkj73]

I try to just think of how I'll have so much life experience to share with my wee one, and if it takes a while, I'll just cherish it that much more

well said. i try to keep the "holy crap i'm 36" thoughts out of my head. i try to keep a lot of crap out of my head at this time...but i can't lie, it's hard not to "go there".

again, so thankful for this forum!!!

 

[Liz2]

I know exactly how you feel!!! I have been on both sides of this. Although I believe I have been a good mom, or have tried my hardest at it. I was 18 when I had my youngest and it just happend. Then I lost one at 25 and tried for awhile with the last LO and now on to trying again. So I know how easy it can be to "fall" pregnant and how hard it can be to "get" pregnant. I told DH that he just needs to take me somewhere get me drunk, have sex and get it down with.....I mean thats how all the kids are doing it these days on the first try and all.....no offense to anyone but I am just tried of hearing about drunken one night stand "accidents". Ugh!

 

[ILoveShoes]

I know exactly how you feel!!! I have been on both sides of this. Although I believe I have been a good mom, or have tried my hardest at it. I was 18 when I had my youngest and it just happend. Then I lost one at 25 and tried for awhile with the last LO and now on to trying again. So I know how easy it can be to "fall" pregnant and how hard it can be to "get" pregnant. I told DH that he just needs to take me somewhere get me drunk, have sex and get it down with.....I mean thats how all the kids are doing it these days on the first try and all.....no offense to anyone but I am just tried of hearing about drunken one night stand "accidents". Ugh!

Thanks, Liz2! I'm not disputing that teen mums can be good mums too (I know you're not either!), I just wish that I could be one too!

I feel like having a childish tantrum!

"It's not fair!!!"

 

[Megg33k]

I agree! I know people who are horrible parents that can pop them out like a Pez dispenser. And, then the ones who are prepared, ready, and willing... well, we don't seem to be so able! It's nothing but fecking injustice, straight up! I'm not the best person in the world, but I do go out of my way to help those who are close to me... I even try to help out strangers when the chance comes up. I might not be filthy rich, but we aren't hurting! We can totally support a child - emotionally, financially, and intellectually! What the hell did I do wrong that I'm being punished for? I've given up so much for so many other people, and I can't even have this one little thing that would make my life complete. It's a load of crap, if you ask me! to you all! And, now I'm all ! Damn!

 

[ILoveShoes]

I agree! I know people who are horrible parents that can pop them out like a Pez dispenser. And, then the ones who are prepared, ready, and willing... well, we don't seem to be so able! It's nothing but fecking injustice, straight up! I'm not the best person in the world, but I do go out of my way to help those who are close to me... I even try to help out strangers when the chance comes up. I might not be filthy rich, but we aren't hurting! We can totally support a child - emotionally, financially, and intellectually! What the hell did I do wrong that I'm being punished for? I've given up so much for so many other people, and I can't even have this one little thing that would make my life complete. It's a load of crap, if you ask me! to you all! And, now I'm all ! Damn!

Megg x

Why does it have to be so hard?

 

[vkj73]

seriously...there's a show in the u.s. called "18 and counting". talk about pez...

i'm just ttc #1.


here's for all!!!!

xoxo

 

[Megg33k]

seriously...there's a show in the u.s. called "18 and counting". talk about pez...

i'm just ttc #1.


here's for all!!!!

xoxo

That show makes me so flippin' angry! That's a whole other rant though... but it's not just because of the eleventy-billion kids either!

 

[KnitWit]

*hops on the bandwagon*

This frustrates me too! I was on holiday last week and this woman was walking along on her mobile phone talking away and dragging along a little girl who was probably 4 or 5 with her. The little girl was quite meekly sobbing away and limping with blood pouring down her knee. The poor thing had obviously tripped and mom was too busy on her phone to actuallly pay her any attention..
I wanted to run over and grab the kid and run off but then I'd probably end up in a scary spanish jail..

Its so frustrating when you know you could make a better job of being a mom but just havent been given the chance! why her and not me? *sigh*

 

[ILoveShoes]

*hops on the bandwagon*

This frustrates me too! I was on holiday last week and this woman was walking along on her mobile phone talking away and dragging along a little girl who was probably 4 or 5 with her. The little girl was quite meekly sobbing away and limping with blood pouring down her knee. The poor thing had obviously tripped and mom was too busy on her phone to actuallly pay her any attention..
I wanted to run over and grab the kid and run off but then I'd probably end up in a scary spanish jail..

Its so frustrating when you know you could make a better job of being a mom but just havent been given the chance! why her and not me? *sigh*

Aw, that's so sad!

 

[puppymom32]

Shoes,
I totally know how you feel. It makes me soooooo mad. I have been trying forever we are stable mature loving people that deserve kids and then there are women killing their babies ( just saw on the news today where a lady killed her 5 week old) r u kidding me why can they have babies and over the past 12 years I cant. I too wonder what I did that was so wrong to cause this fate on us.