Does anyone else hate when people pass around your baby?

[feedindy]

Moment of rant: Ok so I hate it when people pass my baby around. I don't mind if people hold her, but if you ask to hold her, then when you are done you pass her right back to me. Don't pass her on to someone else, and then the next person. I just think it is rude. Ok that was my rant. Does anyone else feel this way? Oh and when I reach for her saying that I am going to take her back from you, don't pull her back out of my arms saying you want to keep holding her. Hello?! I am her mother.

Ok now a separate question... when someone asks to hold your baby, and you don't want them to, what is the politest way to say no?

 

[runnergrl]

I feel exactly the same way. I hate it when people, especially the MIL takes my son out of my arms. When she comes she'll hold her arm out and say, "come to Granny" the second she gets here and it annoys the shit out of me. Doesnt ask, Can I hol him?? Never. Then she gives him to her husband, her sister, whoever else is around when she needs to be giving him back to ME!

But Im probably overly sensitive about this as i cant stand her.. But I do know what you mean and agree 100%

 

[runnergrl]

oh and about your question...I simply say, "No." I dont apologize... I suppose I have said, something along the lines of "I dont think so right now because he is really grumpy/sleepy/hungry etc.." Works like a charm.

 

[feedindy]

I feel exactly the same way. I hate it when people, especially the MIL takes my son out of my arms. When she comes she'll hold her arm out and say, "come to Granny" the second she gets here and it annoys the shit out of me. Doesnt ask, Can I hol him?? Never. Then she gives him to her husband, her sister, whoever else is around when she needs to be giving him back to ME!

But Im probably overly sensitive about this as i cant stand her.. But I do know what you mean and agree 100%

Yes my MIL is like that too, just says "Let me hold her" and takes her from me. Then MIL just keeps moving her position around and LO likes to just relax and not be moved around so much. Literally every 10 seconds she is shifting her hold on LO and LO gets pissed. Then MIL has the nerve to tell me when my LO cries what she needs. Ugh

 

[Bex84]

I defenetly hate this. My MIL does this, last time we saw her she walked out to meet us and said "its not you I want to see, give her here" ahhh she really annoys me. She will then preceed to hand her about, even when I say she needs a feed I get ignored. She snatches her out of my arms I hate it. She wont sit still and poor LO will cry, she is normally very relaxed and hardly ever cries, but MIL keeps moving her about. My husband tells her we dont want her passed about but she just says he is being horrible and a fuss pot. She gets passed around every member of OHs family and all of them r not gentle and then have the audacity to comment on how OH holds her which is the correct way and he is very gentle with her. AHHHHHH!!!! mother in laws who would have them. If you find a way to tell people politly u do not want them holding your baby I would love to know. Me saying she is hungry, upset etc does not work

 

[nicetosmile]

I know exactly what you mean it's annoying. You just feel like saying "Hey he/she is my baby! I'll decide who can and can't hold her" I've had problems with my MIL all the time. She's told me what school she wants my DD to go to because she thinks she'll be taking her. Already planning her life for her. She can't even sit up yet.

 

[sequeena]

Yes and I won't let it happen again. When he was a week old my sil's little girl had her first birthday party and everyone there wanted a hold. A week later he was in hospital with suspected sepsis after being held by parents of 2 babies who had a bacterial infection (didn't know this at the time).

If I don't want anyone to hold him now I just say no. I don't care if it offends them.

 

[kandbumpx]

Yes I find it soooo annoying too! I don't know why people feel they can pass her round!

 

[lovehearts]

I made it very very clear when I was pregnant that I hate hate hate it. I did not want my son passed around so much so that I told some people they couldn't visit in the first few weeks.

My inlaws are the worst too! FIL comes in and practically sits on top of me until I pass him over! It really frustrates me, I used to really like FIL but since iv had LO I don't like him!

If I don't want someone to hold him I just say no, followed by he is tired. Also if someone is upsetting him I take him off them straight away.

Xx

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I don't mind if it's family and I trust them. I did have a slight problem with DH's aunt handing LO to her neighbor who came over to see him. I'm iffy about it, but I'm not overly possessive. I wish people would take into account that I'm his mother. I think they forget I exist when he's around.

I have issues when DH tries to get people to hold him and they clearly don't want to His poor half sister who we just met the other week held him once with me sitting next to her because she didn't have the confidence to hold him on her own and the rest of the day, DH was trying to get her to hold him. I finally had to tell him to knock it off.

 

[BettyBoop152]

Aaaaargh I hate this! My mum and MIL are both as bad as each other!! But the MIL has this way of telling me how to raise MY baby! OH just says she doesn't mean any harm... Ok maybe she doesn't but about 5 days after having LO I made an effort to go to his mum & dads so his family could meet her... BIG mistake! I had a 3rd degree episiotomy and ventouse so was still very sore and weak from hardly eating.. His mum was like give her here and you go sleep you look awful.. Then his dad held her for a minute, she started to cry and he was like right who wants her! Grrrrrrrrr

 

[Brookey]

hmmmmm i must say i dont really mind that much, obviously it would depend who the people are though. Leo does get passed around my family and friends and also my partners family but i dont mind because they are all people we trust. Also, if Leo is asleep he wont wake up for ANYTHING and if he is awake he smiles and seems very happy. If he got p'd off then obviously i would put a stop to it.

The way i see it is that people just love to cuddle a new baby, im the same, so i dont begrudge people holding him, i love showing him off it makes me proud. \im his mummy so i get cuddles whenever i want but they dont see him 24/7 like me.

I defo wouldnt like people telling me whats wrong with him or not giving him back though!xxxx

 

[cookiemo]

I don't mind so much with adults its the kids that bother me! DH neice is 6 and always wants to hold her! It worries me she will drop her! We always make sure she is sitting down etc but i still worry! She always touches her head and tries to pick her up! Ive even caught her trying to lift the car seat with her in! Grrrrrr! It doesnt help that mil always wants pics of all her grandchildren together. Me and DH try to avoid times when we know that his neices and nephews are around!

 

[Linzi]

My MIL never asks me to hold her... she waits til Im out of the room and ass my hubby. that drives me mad. she also walks round with her as well & that drives me mad too. i dont know why. we get on really well usually! xx

 

[anna matronic]

I don't mind. It is only going to happen when I am with family or friends anyway. Lo loves the attention people give him. People always pass him back the minute he gets ratty

 

[lhancock90]

Yes when she was newborn people treated her like she was a bloody parcel and it resulted in me usually just taking her back, the novelty has worn off now thankgod.

 

[EllaAndLyla]

errrrgh yes!!!
When I had JUST given birth, I had some lovely skin on skin time with my daughter for around 15-20 mins, I would have loved more but the MW's were rushing me. I wanted to deliver the placenta whilst still holding LO in my arms. Well that didn't happen because my placenta took over 45 mins to deliver. While I was waiting for it to deliver, OH took Lyla for his first cuddle, I didn't mind that one bit! But it kind of took the piss after a while because I was sat on a delivery chair thing (like a chair with a hole in the bottom iykwim) and was trying to deliver the after birth whilst loads of family was passing LO around amongst themselves. I really wanted LO back so I could bond more with her and I was just being ignored by EVERYONE. I was like 'hello, can I have my daughter please, you know the one that everyone is passing round apart from to me even though I just carried her for 9 months then spent 37 hours in labour and gave birth to her!!' In the end I just said to the midwife, 'F*ck it, give me the placenta injection to get it out so I can go and properly meet my baby!!!' THEN after the placenta had been delivered I finally got my cuddles again, to then be told I needed to go to surgery to be stitched up. I bought LO and OH with me for support and whilst I was in the bed with my legs up in the little lifter thingys, everything down below on show (couldn't have even moved my legs if I wanted to because I was so weak) more family all came charging into this room, I made OH cover me with a towel. They all completely ignored me, I was trying to tell my dad how proud I was and he didn't even acknowlegde I spoke to him. Instead everyone was passing LO around like she was a dolly. She wasn't even an hour old , I know she was a new baby to the family, everyone was eager to meet her and she was the first grandchild on my side but people could have at least acknowlegded the fact I was talking to them and asking them not to be so rough/pass her around so much!

Sorry for the rant type post, but it really ruined my birth experience and now I just hate people holding LO and even worse passing her round, I have so many 'friends' that want to meet up with me just to see Lyla and it makes me so upset! xx

 

[EllaAndLyla]

I don't mind so much with adults its the kids that bother me! DH neice is 6 and always wants to hold her! It worries me she will drop her! We always make sure she is sitting down etc but i still worry! She always touches her head and tries to pick her up! Ive even caught her trying to lift the car seat with her in! Grrrrrr! It doesnt help that mil always wants pics of all her grandchildren together. Me and DH try to avoid times when we know that his neices and nephews are around!

I know the feelings, OH's niece is 6 and nephew is 22 months. His niece is good as gold most of the time, we make sure she is sitting down and i think she prefers to look not touch. His nephew is a night mare, when he first met lyla at 3 weeks old he thought she was a doll/toy and went to grab her from his mums arm quite violently, lucky she got up and moved before he managed to. This resulted in a massive tantrum from him lol! Also I was at a funeral the other day and afterwards everyone went to a pub that had been rented out especially. There was a young boy, possibly about 1.5 years and he kept coming over to see lyla, he was really sweet but really made me tense. He poked her suddenly, really hard on her head where her soft spot is. She didn't react to it but I couldn't help but get up and walk away and try to avoid him. I know he was so young and no way would understand why he cant do that but it was very scary x

 

[special_kala]

Yes which is why i dont allow it anymore. They are little people not dolls.

If i dont want them too i just say no she is tired or hungry. I tend not to offer her to peope eithier

 

[Mum22GTTC]

Yes which is why i dont allow it anymore. They are little people not dolls.
If i dont want them too i just say no she is tired or hungry. I tend not to offer her to peope eithier

Yep I hate it too! Totally agree with the bolded.

I wouldn't want to picked up, passed around, poked & prodded by people, so I can't imagine it's much fun for a baby either.