Does anyone else hate when people pass around your baby?

[Ozzieshunni]

We have my five year old niece sitting down to hold Alex as well. She usually gets tired of it after five minutes She knows not to touch his head and told me once I wasn't allowed to touch his head

 

[Raven24]

Yep i hated it with ds1 and still hate it now with ds2 why do peopl do it?
Yesterday sil picked myyoungest up off the floor where he was happily playing and devided to pass him to her new boyfriend who i have only met once before, my blood was boiling i dnt know him and i dont feel comfortable with him holding my child, mikey started crying so i went to get him and sil thought she could have him again err no he is upset he wants !
And i will allways remember williams first christnas he was about a month old and he was taken out of my arms the minute i walked into the inlaws i was so upset it still upsets me now nearly 2 years on, and hubby never sticks up for me either grrrrr

 

[BattyNora]

I feel exactly the same way. I hate it when people, especially the MIL takes my son out of my arms. When she comes she'll hold her arm out and say, "come to Granny" the second she gets here and it annoys the shit out of me. Doesnt ask, Can I hol him?? Never. Then she gives him to her husband, her sister, whoever else is around when she needs to be giving him back to ME!

But Im probably overly sensitive about this as i cant stand her.. But I do know what you mean and agree 100%

Could have written that WORD for WORD! Does my head in - I hate to say it but I don't like her so it doesn't help.

OP as for people you don't want holding LO (for me BIL; a 'reformed' drug addict who took so many drugs he had a psychotic break, has never had a job, gets a house for free and benefits and is generally a dirty person. Well done, you've been clean three months but it'll need to be a lot longer till I'm happy you touching her!) just say you need to give them a change or feed, or you want to get them down for a nap! This is the one person my MIL always passes Bee too and it makes me so angry.

Whoops, sorry for the rant!

 

[elephant29]

When LO was first born it didnt bother me too much (think I was still out of it on drugs mind you) but when I look at pictures in the hospital she is passed around everyone!

My MIL is quite bad for this. I am honestly not saying this just because she is my MIL, if she were my mum I would be saying it as well as it's true. She tends to try and just take LO without asking. She wont consider that I might be enjoy a cuddle/play etc. The other day I had a MW appointment so I left work early and OH and LO came to meet me. MIL works at my GP surgery (reception) so she was there when we went in. I took LO out of the pram and immediately MIL reached out to take her. I just ducked out the way and told her no! I said I hadnt seen LO all bloody day as I was at work and this was the first time I had held her since the night before! She looked embarrassed, especially as OH slapped her hand away haha. I felt a little bad but still....

I think people just dont think where a baby is concerned. They dont consider that the mum/dad may not have had the chance to hold LO much that day, therefore they are enjoying spending this time with them. Others seem to think every parents wants/needs a rest and that this entitles them to take the baby. If you really want to help me 'rest' do my dishes for me!!

xxx

 

[Whisper]

Yes i hate that too especially at family gatherings. What gets me more annoyed is when i ask my mum if she wants to feed DS and she takes him and the bottle and then offers someone else to feed him! If i was comfortable with that other person feeding him i would have offered myself. Grrrr that got me really mad, he isn't a toy for everyone to 'have a go' at feeding.

 

[whoops]

I think people just dont think where a baby is concerned. They dont consider that the mum/dad may not have had the chance to hold LO much that day, therefore they are enjoying spending this time with them. Others seem to think every parents wants/needs a rest and that this entitles them to take the baby. If you really want to help me 'rest' do my dishes for me!!

xxx

My family were awful for that! My dad in particular - in the first few weeks with Lily, he was always offering to take her so I could wash bottles or make them up or fold clothes - he'd never offer to help me out by doing any of that for me, it was always 'here, I'll take the baby for you!'

 

[Yogamum]

Yes-I am having a whole lot of trouble with this too. I am an RN and am very conscious of germs and my baby was born 1/8/16. Mid-winter in the northeast! We had a mild winter so everyone's colds' lingered. Since day one my mother has been offended when I ask her to wash her hands before holding the baby, passes her to other family members without regard to me at all and I'm sick of her disrespecting my boundaries I'm trying to establish for the safety of my child. I am not only offended by her lack of concern for my feelings as a new mother but also very angry and annoyed that she acts like it's okay to pass my any around line a bag of Oreos! She's now 4 months old but at three weeks my mom was givin me a hard time about passing her around to be held!

 

[Yogamum]

PS that was suppose to say like a bag not line and giving...not givin�� Everyone is definetly keeping track of how many times they got to hold the baby...or not...but I agree...has my dad helped with anything around my house? Has my sister? No! But they keep track of how many times they've held my child. It's so selfish and narsissistic. I'm also working PT while my husband is away during the week and barely fit in a shower every 3 days! Then they also give me a hard time that I'm being inflexible because I try to put my child to bed by 7pm. They're offended when I don't show up to late dinners! I also am the sole caretaker while my husband is away for work during the week! Give me a break people!

 

[Aliop]

I've never been one to offer my baby to others to hold but if someone wants to hold him and I don't want them to hold him I just say 'oh he's going through a phase at the moment where he doesn't like other people, sorry!' Seems to work!

 

[mum140381]

errrrgh yes!!!
When I had JUST given birth, I had some lovely skin on skin time with my daughter for around 15-20 mins, I would have loved more but the MW's were rushing me. I wanted to deliver the placenta whilst still holding LO in my arms. Well that didn't happen because my placenta took over 45 mins to deliver. While I was waiting for it to deliver, OH took Lyla for his first cuddle, I didn't mind that one bit! But it kind of took the piss after a while because I was sat on a delivery chair thing (like a chair with a hole in the bottom iykwim) and was trying to deliver the after birth whilst loads of family was passing LO around amongst themselves. I really wanted LO back so I could bond more with her and I was just being ignored by EVERYONE. I was like 'hello, can I have my daughter please, you know the one that everyone is passing round apart from to me even though I just carried her for 9 months then spent 37 hours in labour and gave birth to her!!' In the end I just said to the midwife, 'F*ck it, give me the placenta injection to get it out so I can go and properly meet my baby!!!' THEN after the placenta had been delivered I finally got my cuddles again, to then be told I needed to go to surgery to be stitched up. I bought LO and OH with me for support and whilst I was in the bed with my legs up in the little lifter thingys, everything down below on show (couldn't have even moved my legs if I wanted to because I was so weak) more family all came charging into this room, I made OH cover me with a towel. They all completely ignored me, I was trying to tell my dad how proud I was and he didn't even acknowlegde I spoke to him. Instead everyone was passing LO around like she was a dolly. She wasn't even an hour old , I know she was a new baby to the family, everyone was eager to meet her and she was the first grandchild on my side but people could have at least acknowlegded the fact I was talking to them and asking them not to be so rough/pass her around so much!

Sorry for the rant type post, but it really ruined my birth experience and now I just hate people holding LO and even worse passing her round, I have so many 'friends' that want to meet up with me just to see Lyla and it makes me so upset! xx

this would have totally traumatised me

 

[Natasha2605]

This thread is five years old

 

[weedle]

Although this thread is really old, am I the only person who doesn't care about the baby being passed around? 🙈

 

[Witchrose]

Although this thread is really old, am I the only person who doesn't care about the baby being passed around? 🙈

Heh. Nope, you're not. Honestly, I feel blessed that so many people love and are excited about him. If I want him back, I just calmly do so.

 

[mum140381]

Although this thread is really old, am I the only person who doesn't care about the baby being passed around? 🙈

i dont mind but i have many children x

 

[SarahBear]

Moment of rant: Ok so I hate it when people pass my baby around. I don't mind if people hold her, but if you ask to hold her, then when you are done you pass her right back to me. Don't pass her on to someone else, and then the next person. I just think it is rude. Ok that was my rant. Does anyone else feel this way? Oh and when I reach for her saying that I am going to take her back from you, don't pull her back out of my arms saying you want to keep holding her. Hello?! I am her mother.

Ok now a separate question... when someone asks to hold your baby, and you don't want them to, what is the politest way to say no?

I don't mind people passing the baby. However, they should at least look to the mother to verify that it's OK to do so.

Yes, I completely agree that if you're reaching for the baby or would like the baby back, the baby should go straight to you.

As for the last question, is there a specific reason to say no? Because if there is, then I'd just say it. For example, "He seems comfortable here and I don't want to wake him." Are you talking about people who you're just not comfortable with? Are they family or strangers? I haven't had too many people ask who I wasn't comfortable with. I've even passed my baby over to strangers before. I have had to tell a 5 year old that I don't want kids holding my baby... You shouldn't feel forced to hand your baby over to people you're not comfortable with but I don't know that I have the best advice for how to handle it.

Edit: Oh wait, this is 5 years old? haha! How's the 5 year old doing?