Does anyone ever feel guilty?

[shorman]

Does anyone ever feel guilty or has been made to feel guilty about ff I constantly battle with that I didn't breastfeed I really wanted to with my oldest but for so many reasons both me and OH decided I shouldnt as I was getting very depressed bfing But I still feel guilty I actually feel like a bad mum sometimes because of it I no its so stupid and I shouldn't feel that way because my kids are healthy and happy but still I get feel guilty?

 

[Bumblebee117]

Oh hun, I felt so guilty for months after my son started refusing my breast (at about 14 weeks) and now I am finally okay with it. My daugher was breastfed until last week and is now on formula which she really is enjoying just as much and as I have the perfect comparison with my twins I can tell you that they both developed at the same pace, none if them is more or less ill then the other and they are both very happy and healthy babies!

don't feel guilty, I am sure you have your reasons and nowadays the formulas are so good and full of all the nutrients our babies need.

keep telling yourself that it is perfectly fine that you ff! and maybe talk to others on here, that helped me a lot when I initially had to deal with the guilt and sadness about stopping breastfeeding.

 

[TiffanyBrown]

While I was pregnant, I was dead-set on breastfeeding and I did so for a week after Lily was born. But I hated it. It was making me so depressed and stressed out with worrying that she might not be getting enough. That coupled with the fact that the nurses at the hospital were not much of a help and I could not get her to latch right--by a week, I decided that FF would just work better for our situation.

Honestly, even though I did feel guilty for the first day or so of FF, I actually felt more guilty for hating breastfeeding that first week. Now, I really don't feel guilty because I know that we're doing what's best for us and our daughter in this specific situation. My DH works and we're both full time seniors in college so FF is so much easier. I think the guilt will go away or at least lessen. Especially if you realize that you are doing what's best for your situation

 

[jenfirstbaby]

I was adament I was going to bf, then when I fell pregnant I started to dread it. I tried it in the hospital but swtiched to ff before I got home.

I felt guilty a few days later when she was crying and someone said 'she wants your milk'.. I considered trying again but my mum advised me not to if I didn't think id continue.

I then felt fine for like 10 weeks then all of a sudden I feel so guilty again. I really wish id tried harder. It was a struggle in the hospital but I even miss the bond I felt (even tho I only done it about 3 times) xx

 

[Irish Eyes]

I feel guilty & embarassed everyday! I think it's worse because bfing was going really well for us - no pain, perfect latch etc. However LO was feeding every hour and I just got worn down. I was a zombie from no sleep and crying constantly. By 8 weeks I had given up, sometimes I think I should have perserved but when i remember what it was like I know I made the right choice.

 

[vintagecat]

Of course you're not a bad mom! You're feeding your children and that's all that matters. My baby was given formula the first few days of her life and it made her cry hysterically and she spit up tons of milk after every bottle. With breastfeeding, she seems so much happier and calm. I think you just have to do whatever works best for your baby!

 

[Evian260]

I felt guilt for months after I stopped bf and switched my lo to formula at 10 days. It's unfortunate we feel we have to justify our reasons for formula feeding. My son is a happy and healthy 17 month old and I'm a better happier mom because I switched (I had PPD.)

 

[Bats11]

Yes I felt guilty almost two weeks ago when I made the decision to switch, ongoing mastitis was hell, but Im so glad I did, I dont feel guilty anymore, Im meeting my babies needs and thats all thats important.

 

[Liesje]

Nope. Our children are products of billions of years of evolution. What we feed them now is going to have so little effect on them. Yes, breastmilk is better, but I'm not going to kill myself over it.

 

[Kage76]

yep yep- in fact there is a sticky at the top of the page dedicated to formula guilt- my story is on page 3- you are certainly not alone.

 

[bubbles123]

I beat myself up with guilt with my first. I cried my eyes out, used to feed him in toilets so no one would see me etc. With my second - no guilt whatsoever. I think it's a confidence thing. I have successfully raised one on formula and now have much more confidence when dealing with health care professionals so don't let any negative opinions bother me at all. It is the best decision for me and my family, I accept the negatives, embrace the positives and I'm quite happy with it. You will get there too in time X

 

[sg2011]

I feel guilty every now and then but I realize it was the best decision for me due to health issues and for my daughter (because a pain free mom is much better). I ended up with PND and put on meds for that as well and I just wouldn't have been able to cope.

My daughter is happy, health, intelligent and meeting all her milestones. She is not obese and is right on track for weight gain. I'm able to treat my chronic pain and PND plus I'm able to have help with feedings and also have some independence so in the end, it has worked out well.

 

[baby_mama87]

It's funny because I go through periods of feeling really guilty! I even considered trying to relactate a few days ago and read up on it but LO won't even latch now he's not interested. I feel sad because I had no problems my milk supply was great, his latch was great I was just so overwhelmed and depressed from the birth I gave up too quick. I'm already thinking about my next LO and il do things so differently! Definitely no visitors for at Least two weeks and I'm staying in bed with my baby until BF is established!

Xx

 

[.rollinn.]

No way do i feel guilty,i can't bf and even if i could i wouldn't have for selfish reason's. I've seen the way some babies are pretty much bitting their mommies nipple off teething during a feed,and NO THANK YOU!

 

[bumblebeexo]

I thought about breastfeeding, but decided not too. I was ill after having Teagan so wouldn't have been able to breastfeed for a few days anyways. I don't feel guilty at all, she is getting fed and is doing very well. I think that yes breast may be best, but there is so much publicity about it that it makes everyone think formula is 'bad' which is why it has the guilt factor with it which it shouldn't at all. You still love your baby just as much as you would if you were breastfeeding, so no problem at all!

 

[Lady_Bee]

I was heartbroken when breastfeeding didn't work out but never really felt guilty over using formula, because it was medically necessary so I guess it made sense to me even emptionally.

The worst guilt I felt was actually when I tried, repeatedly, to exclusively breastfeed despite not having enough milk. Nothing like half-starving your baby to make you feel like a despicable person and a sorry excuse for a mother...

 

[dpbmom]

I am feeling the same way. I was determined to breastfeed, but we had latching problems and even with pumping every 3 hours my supply is so low that I'm only getting about 1/5 of what she eats. Plus I'm still getting over the fact that I had to have an EMCS instead of the natural L&D that I worked so hard to prepare for. I'm thinking about throwing in the towel with pumping. I feel like the sad 1/2 ounce I'm getting at each session just isn't worth the trouble. Also, every time I pump it just reminds me of how things didn't work out. Nobody tells you how hard it is when things don't go as you planned. Not that I regret taking all the Lamaze and BFing classes, but I wish I hadn't put so much pressure on myself for things to be a certain way. I know I should just be grateful to have a healthy baby instead of beating myself up over how she got here and what she's eating. Hopefully, these feelings will pass for us both.

 

[shorman]

Thanks ladies it's nice to no I am not alone in my feelings I no I did my best Hapoy mum happy baby I say!

 

[fl00b]

i felt guilty at first but at the rate my little guy eats, there would be no way i would have been able to detatch him from my boob if i bf!
i hate it when people try to make you feel guilty though :/ it's a personal choice on which the mom and the mom only gets to choose what's best for her and baby - nobody should ever try to dictate that to you!

 

[SabrinaKat]

Nope, never felt guilty. In my case, I had terrible pre-eclampsia and carpal tunnel in my hands, and when LO was in NICU (due to my poor health), I couldn't have breastfed nor even expressed as was on heavy medication myself. Because my OH and I discussed formula feeding, HE was able to do loads for LO whilst I was so poorly.

Furthermore, nobody in the hospital made an issue, either. At my 10wk pre-baby appointment with the midwife, she asked about BF, I said I wasn't interested and nobody ever made any comments, so I guess I was lucky in that regard. I did get comments in the real world, but as I take medication for an underactive thyroid, could use that as an 'excuse', if you will.

My LO is doing well overall, and the bonding with his daddy is fantastic, so for us, BF-ing was never an issue.

best wishes