Does it get easier after the EDD?

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by NeyNey, Oct 15, 2008.

  1. NeyNey

    NeyNey Love My IVF Munchkin

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    I would have been 20 weeks yesterday. For some reason this milestone is hitting me hard. it's hard to believe I would have been in the second half of my journey by now...And only 19 odd weeks away from being a mummy..

    Urgh..it hurts like hell...isn't it suppose to get easier? When....
    Will the healing begin after I just get through these next few months..
    And after the EDD will things start to get lightly to carry...

    I just feel so swollen with grief today...I don't know how to comfort myself.
     
  2. charveyron

    charveyron Expecting our 4th-A GIRL!

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    Sorry to hear your feeling like this huni, My baby would have been due in a couple of weeks and I keep thinking about it. I'm sure it will get easier in time, but there will always be certain times that your reminded, not that you should ever forget! I don't know what advice to give you really, take some time for yourself and pamper yourself a bit. I hope you feel better soon xxx :hugs:
     
  3. Snowball

    Snowball Resident badass

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    Aw neyney, I'm so sorry you're feeling down hun.

    I was very up and down until Beau's due date mainly because like you the milestones were coming up. When his due date arrived I think I'd had so much hurt over it beforehand that I just felt numb, I didn't even have the emotion in me to be upset.

    Since his due date the pain has eased a little. I'm not saying it's completely gone because it never will go but it's helped that I'm not thinking in the back of my mind, 'Oh I'd be x weeks today' if that makes any sense?

    I really hope you start to heal a little hun. I think sometimes it doesn't help when you've had a few good days and then suddenly you feel right back where you started again. I'm thinking of you hun:hugs:

    If you ever need a chat, I'm always around:hug:

    xxxxx
     
  4. Logiebear

    Logiebear Mum to 4 darlings

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    At some point I have decided to block out the anniversaries. As I have lost 2 this year my first would be about a month old now and my second was due on 25th Nov and I have to carry on or I would just dwell on all the dates etc. So I am emotionally strong atm due to the baby I am carrying.

    I am not frogetting my lost angels and I never will. The pain will always be ther for me and the hurt my husband and I went through was awful but I have to be strong and for me, just me, not anyone else, I find it easier not to think too much about them. I shed a few tears on my last babies due date and I am sure I will do again in Nov but for me if I dwell, it will bring all the hurt back up and I couldn't take it right now.

    I am thinking of you hun and I know how you feel xxx :hugs:
     
  5. m_t_rose

    m_t_rose Mommy of Jacob and Julia

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    I remember up to around 20 weeks each week I thoughh I would be ... weeks right now and I know that 20 weeks for me was the hardest week so far. My Edd would have been the 25th of Oct so I am not sure how that is going to hit me but after week 20 I kinda lost track and I started feeling quite a bit better I was able to put away my pregnancy books and stop obsessing on all the developments that would have been happening. :hug:
     
  6. miel

    miel Married to an amazing guy

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  7. Freya

    Freya Toddler and baby

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    JUst wanted to say I understand your pain well. For me, those milestones were unavoidable and painful! It's odd to say, but after the EDD, for me, I felt better in myself and felt more at peace with my losses, and I guess it was the natural end of the cycle. Although I still think about what could have been, I don't take much notice of the 'anniversarys', just perhaps a thought "about this time last year...."

    But we're all different and deal with loss in different ways and you'll find your own way with what feels right. On the EDD's I planted a rose, again it's what I wanted to do and helped me make a kind of tribute I guess.

    There are brighter days ahead, promise!
     
  8. Loo

    Loo Mum of 2 and one on way

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    I am sorry for your loss too. I think there are ups and downs to be honest. I felt better after my EDD as some of the others had said - it was easier then because I couldn't count weeks etc

    However, I hit a little downer again once a couple of months ago when it was a year since getting pregnant originally - as that was the 'AF I didn't have last year' cos I was pregnant etc

    It does get easier, and the down bits get easier to cope with. I promise!

    Hugs x
     
  9. JASMAK

    JASMAK Mom of three

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    :hug::hug::hug::hug:
    Time heals, but you will probably never forget.
     
  10. polo_princess

    polo_princess ♥ Brookes Mummy ♥

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  11. buffycat

    buffycat mummy to Enid & Anna...

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    NeyNey.....my EDD would have been next week (23rd) and i'm not looking forward to it either....fortunately i don't have to come to work, instead i'm off to london for a meeting....probably a good thinkg that i am not around too many people that i know...

    i think once i get beyond that day, then maybe there will be some peace with myself

    take care hun....and please remember that you are not on your own...

    luv & hugs
    :hugs:
     
  12. wantababybump

    wantababybump Well-Known Member

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    Aww Ney Ney I know how exactly your feeling. My first baby's EDD was at the end of July. The second baby's EDD was December 8th and just happens that Christmas day is when I miscarried the first baby. December is going to be a rough month for sure. Im really not looking forward to Christmas this year :( I hope you feel better soon, Im always here if you need to chat. xx
     
  13. jacky24

    jacky24 Mom of 37w2d Angel

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    :hug: For me yes.. time does heal the wounds... unfortunately we will always carry the scars... I do pray that all the pain and sadness does get lighter as the time goes by for you and OH...

    :hug:
     
  14. Sambatiki

    Sambatiki Finally a Mummy!!

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    For me I have found thats not just milestones as such the pain just comes randomly and gives me a good hard slap in the face!!! DF and I really wanted to be preggers again before our EDD but I dont think its likely to happen 17th December.

    Thinking of you

    :hug:
     
  15. honeybunch2k7

    honeybunch2k7 Well-Known Member

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    :hug: :hug:

    To be honest, I tend to go back and forth. I was surprisingly ok on my EDD, but I still have bad days.
     
  16. superp123

    superp123 Super Auntie to 3 + 1

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    Honestly, in my day to day life I cannot remember the weeks at this point. Its when I'm reminded of the dates that I get really bummed. I've removed all of them from my sight, can't be constantly reminded of it all. Its just too painful to think I'd be almost 7mths pg at this point and yet this is where I am.
    I have to say that looking back on my first mc the sadness of it all does go away. It's the memories that linger, and all of those things never really fade. You'll always remember how you felt the day you found out, the pregnancy that you did have and when you knew it had gone all wrong.
    It's since been four cycles for me this time and I'm not sure how I've gotten through. Looking back at it all, I'm amazed at my strength and my spirit. But I still take each day as it comes... that's all you can do hun. :hugs: Double :hugs:
    P
     
  17. NeyNey

    NeyNey Love My IVF Munchkin

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    Thanks girls, I honestly really do appreciate all your kind thoughts and stories.

    All honestly it makes me sad that so many of you relate to how it feels...I wish no one had to go through it.

    But I am feeling better....it seems I got to the top of the hill and now i'm letting myself roll down. I guess for now this milestone is over...And I just have to wait for the next one.

    :hugs:
     

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