Does this make me a bad person?

[jozylynn896]

This is kind of embarrassing in a way.
I love ny little one a lot. I would never hurt him or let any thing happen to him.
But i don't feel like a mom yet i guess.
Like i don't feel like i love hinl ike a mother should.
Everybody says a woman becomes a mother when she finds that shes pregnant and a man when he holds his baby.
But i feel like I'm the man in this scenario. Does this make me such a horrible person?
Will i love him more when i see him ? It just makes me feel like really shitty :""(

 

[BellaBoo0512]

No it doesn't make you a bad person hun! I suppose different people will feel different ways. I am pregnant with my first and although I can see my massive bump and feel my baby boy moving around inside me it still doesn't feel real. I think maybe that is because I had a mc last year and I haven't allowed myself to get completely attached just incase. If you have had a bad experience in the past too then that could be why. I'm sure once you hold your baby in your arms it will feel real and you will be overcome with love and emotion

 

[mamichulo5]

It is ok for you to feel that way and no it doesn't make you a bad mom, it makes you human . All woman don't automatically get that loving feeling, it takes a minute and hopefully when your LO gets here and you hold him all this will not matter...remember hormones and nerves

 

[Jcliff]

I will be honest, all I have felt this pregnancy is stress and fear. I am terrified to give birth and bring baby home. I haven't yet been able to be excited. The more I feel her move and the closer I get, the more I'm almost excited if that makes sense. lol I just want her here.

 

[MomPepperdine]

I have a friend that when she got pregant with her first she didnt know if she wanted to stay pregnant then she didn't know if she was going to keep the baby and even after she had the baby she was having a hard time. Now this is my best friend. She is an only child and honestly her mom wasn't a very good mom. I would go over and teach her things on how to take care of a baby (when living with her mom) once the baby wasn't a baby baby could play back and smile and talk ect it all kicked in for her. She loves her daughter and christmas eve she had her pland daughter she's a good momma does things diff then I would but her love for her daughters are strong some people have a harder time to conect for me it was love threw out the pregnancy and love like no other when my child was born

Don't feel like a bad person hormons can do a lot also don't for get about post part depression. Some ladies feel hatefull after having their baby its all hormons

*hug*hug*hug*

 

[jozylynn896]

Its just hard because i feel like nobody would understand!
Thanks ladies, i hope you guys are right ans that i do love him so much.
Like ny heart tells me i love him but my head is telling me its not real and not really happening and even though i can feel him moving around and hes due in just a week, it stiill feels unbelievable!

 

[FirstTimeDad9]

I'm glad I'm not the only one, I would never put bump in any harm but atm i just don't feel like a mum i feel like I should but I feel more fear and guilt then a mum. I think it'll come in time but for now the only thing I can say is your not alone hun xx

 

[nevernormal]

I was just telling DH yesterday that it's still too abstract that we're going to have a baby. He just looked at me like I have 3 heads, and asked how that's possible since I'm the one with the belly & the movements! He was old enough to remember 3 of his mom's pregnancies though, where I didn't see very many women close to me go through pregnancy at all growing up. I have a younger sister but was 2 when she was born.

Also I think combined with LTTTC and knowing that only 3 out of 6 of my mom's pregnancies ended with a take-home baby (though 2 were 1st tri losses, the other 2nd tri, so I'm past those markers), I don't think I've completely allowed myself to believe this is real yet!

 

[mnonie]

Im really sorry I posted under firsttimedad9 by accident. its been a long hard day

 

[ukgirl23]

I have 3 babies and I cared for all of them before they were born but I didn't fall in love with them until a few days after birth when the shock of the reality of actually having that baby in my arms actually hit me!! Looking at their little face when no one else was around and thinking that I had actually made that perfect tiny person and that I would defend them to the death... but yeh I didn't feel that way until after birth x

 

[Eleanor ace]

I think its such a hard concept, loving someone you've never met, can't picture, don't know anything about! While they are inside us there isn't much we can do to actively love them- we can't comfort them or stroke their cheek, give them a cuddle or watch them develop and feel proud. When I was pregnant with DS I would have done anything to keep him safe, I was excited to meet him and be his mother. When he was born I truly loved him- I love him so much because of all the things that make him HIM.
Don't feel bad for feeling like you do, when LO is here you will know and love them

 

[maggie111]

I know I love this baby. I know I love his twin who died at 14 weeks more than I can bear to think about...

However, do I love this baby like I should love a newborn? Not a chance and he's ready to come out any day now! It's a weird sensation. I know I couldn't wish for any more emotion towards him, I'm not worried I wont bond with him - I just can't put the bump and the baby in the same context at the moment!

 

[Wriggley]

When i was pregnant with my first son i coulodnt get my head round that there was a baby inside me but i felt as though i loved him. When he was born that love became SO SO SO SO much stronger!

Because I already have a baby i know that love you feel for them once they born. and once again i cant get my head round the fact ive got another baby in side me (all planned etc.. it just does not seem real that theres a little life growing in me)

but i know the love you have for a baby this time round.

everyone tells me you cant imagine loving another baby as much as you love your firswt but it comes so naturally once they are here.

My DS1 is my entire world as is my one currently cooking. i just dont feel as if i know him yet if that makes sense

 

[CottlestonPie]

I feel the same. I Think I'm scared to love bump in case anything happens. Knowing there are two babies in there just seems too abstract and it won't be real until they're here. I'm also struggling to comprehend how I will love these boys as much as I love DS as my world revolves around him just now. Coupled with the guilt of not being able to give him my undivided attention when he is suddenly one of three instead of an only child is making it difficult for me.