Don't know if I can do this anymore

[sukisam]

Hi Ladies
I'm 39 and ttc no 4 (I have 2 children with me my first baby Emily was born sleeping). We're on our 23rd month of ttc after hubby had vasectomy reversal I'm 12dpo and just looked at another my temp has slightly dropped this morning so I'm pretty sure AF will come in a few days. just feeling down and not sure i can carry on trying it's too difficult. But i guess the alternative is giving up and no sex. Feeling really sorry for myself and tearful, can't talk to hubby cos he'll think I'm a silly cow (he won't he's lovely).
I feel this is my fault for daring to wish for another baby I've built both our hopes up and all we've had is almost 2 years of trying for nothing
Sorry to be SO miserable I fell like slapping myself
to all
xxxxxx

 

[NorthStar]

Sorry to hear that, have you spoken to husband about treatment options?

Maybe that is worth considering if this is making you really unhappy (and clearly it is) and exploring some other options.

 

[sukisam]

Hi thanks for responding the only options we have decided are herbs and acupuncture. we had a horrible appointment to discuss ICSI the doctor said i was too old and fat and why did i want more children when i already had two!But we have decided it's not for us

xxxxx

 

[NorthStar]

Well I say your doctor sounds like a total arse....that is terrible.

If you want a baby so much (and since OH got his snip reversed you must both really want one) then maybe you're putting too many conditions on yourselves by saying it must be all natural, and it's worth seeking a second medical opinion and getting a bit of help?

Very personal decision but no one on here would condemn you for getting some expert input to achieve this, so don't be so hard on yourself

 

[StarSign]

You could start by getting a sperm analysis. Then if all is well, take some supplements yourself and try to improve those chances some. Acupuncture is definitely helpful stuff too.

 

[readyformore]

Hi Ladies
I'm 39 and ttc no 4 (I have 2 children with me my first baby Emily was born sleeping). We're on our 23rd month of ttc after hubby had vasectomy reversal I'm 12dpo and just looked at another my temp has slightly dropped this morning so I'm pretty sure AF will come in a few days. just feeling down and not sure i can carry on trying it's too difficult. But i guess the alternative is giving up and no sex. Feeling really sorry for myself and tearful, can't talk to hubby cos he'll think I'm a silly cow (he won't he's lovely).
I feel this is my fault for daring to wish for another baby I've built both our hopes up and all we've had is almost 2 years of trying for nothing
Sorry to be SO miserable I fell like slapping myself
to all
xxxxxx

I'm ttc my fourth, cycle #14. It took me about 2 years to convince DH to try for another (started talking him up while still preggo with #3, lol). He adamantly refused. I begged, threatened, bribed, cried, and finally he relented. For what? There's no baby now. I can understand you saying that you feel like it's your fault. I feel like I'm going through infertility again because I demanded a baby. DH would have been happy with just 3, but I couldn't leave well enough alone. I too was so excited and thought I'd have a baby in my arms by now. It does make you feel responsible and miserable at the same time.

Yuck! What a tough place.

I can't believe that your doc said those things to you! I'd be floored if my doc said it to me. I do realize that my situation will be a little different when I see my RE next week. I already have 3 kids, and it's not a new marriage. It will be our 4th together. People just aren't that supportive of larger families lately. But, I'd be ready to deck him if he said that to me. (Maybe I should go armed to my appointment with a baseball bat, lol).

I wish I knew what to tell you. I really don't know what to say because I don't what to tell myself. I don't want to ttc forever either, but I don't know how to make the desire go away. I was thinking of setting a time frame. I decided 2 years was a good stopping point. For me, 2 years is enough time of psychological torture (also know as ttc). But, how do you stop?

Ugh, ttc just sucks.

 

[dachsundmom]

Not to threadjack, but Ready...the link to your journal doesn't work.

 

[readyformore]

Thanks, Dmom. Not sure what happened. . . .

 

[sukisam]

Thanks ladies for taking the time to reply it does mean a lot. I'm 13dpo today still getting but strangely today i feel okay and almost normal again!
I'll probablly have a wobble when AF comes in the next few days.
Ready you sound like you have the same worries/concerns about how long to keep ttc for-wish i had the answers for us both. i had thought 2 years too that will be November not sure I can face stopping tho.
Starsign-we've had a couple of sper tests and hubby has normal amount of sperm but not very good swimmers, he's been on supplements for a couple of months.
Northstar-yes the fertility Dr was a complete we did complain but it's left me scared to go see any one else but I think maybe you're right and we should consider seeing someone else for advice.

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[StarSign]

Thanks ladies for taking the time to reply it does mean a lot. I'm 13dpo today still getting but strangely today i feel okay and almost normal again!
I'll probablly have a wobble when AF comes in the next few days.
Ready you sound like you have the same worries/concerns about how long to keep ttc for-wish i had the answers for us both. i had thought 2 years too that will be November not sure I can face stopping tho.
Starsign-we've had a couple of sper tests and hubby has normal amount of sperm but not very good swimmers, he's been on supplements for a couple of months.
Northstar-yes the fertility Dr was a complete we did complain but it's left me scared to go see any one else but I think maybe you're right and we should consider seeing someone else for advice.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

What supplements is he taking?

 

[sukisam]

Hi StarSign
He's taking wellman conception and extra zinc and macca, he does have a really healthy lifestyle and diet. We only have problems cos of the vasectomy, obviously we regret but i'd had 3 pregnancies in 5 years and was still grieving for Emily my daughter born sleeping when we made the decision, we didn't get any counselling which may have made us think twice. It's hard knowing it's all our fault but I guess you do whats right at the time.
Thanks for replying

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[StarSign]

Well, glad he's supplementing, so that's certainly in the right direction. Maybe you want to give a go with Pre-Seed + Soft Cups. Check out this thread: Instead Soft Cups