Don't know what to do now! Please help/advise! :-(

[kirstylm]

I was guna work up to DD but I took 2 wks before due date off work to have some 'nice' time with my 2yr old just me and her as i'll never get that again once 2nd baby is here. All I've had this week is a seriously naughty child, not eating her meals then it's constantly "I want something to eat"! shes now poorly, not sleeping and stressing me out! I would be better off at work and I'm so upset I'm not enjoying my time with her coz I'll never get it again!
I feel like everyone is just putting my stress and upset down to just hormones! I'm still a person with feelings!
To top it all, I've got a sinus infection, cough and my sciatica has had me on the floor in tears in front of my little girl!
It shouldn't be like this, someone please help or offer advise!
I dot know what to do. Do I just let my toddler get away with all the naughtyness to make life easier as I'm sure the stress is having an effect and making sciatica worse and it's not good for me or baby!
When my girl is good she's an angel and almost always she is good so I guess I'm not used to a naughty child so finding this really hard.
I just feel I need a day to myself and if I don't get it before baby arrives its only Guna get worse!
Don't wanna ask my mum to take my girl for a day though as like I said I should be making the most of 'our' time alone.
So upset been in tears just feel so crappi.

 

[Hadynsmummy]

Awww hun i know you dont wanna give up one of your special days together but maybe you just need a days break. i have also taken time off before baby arrive to spend time with my little boy and cant wait for it, but recently he has also been naughty not eating meals etc and that is not him so im trying to find the root of the cause instead of battling with him. there is no shame in asking for help. or if you dont want to send her away for the day maybe just ask your mum to meet up to give you a break.


sorry dont have much advise on this as i dont really get any outside help from my family lol.

hope you get her sorted soon.

 

[sjminimac]

Let your mum take her for a break. We all have this idealistic view of spending quality time with our first borns but we're SO idealistic that it's just pressure pressure pressure!!!
You need a break, your little girl needs a break - those few hours to regroup will do you both the world of good x x

 

[kirstylm]

Thanks ladies! I may ask my mum. She's actually coming round in a sec.
Maybe it's something to do with the fact that were suddenly always here with our toddlers. It's all different and maybe for some reason its making them play up?
I'm not Guna try enforce 'the rules' at the min. Just whatever if she doesn't eat her dinners she will just have to learn she's not getting anything else.
It's the constant "mummy I want something to eat" and I say well u should have when ur dinner shouldn't u and don't give her anything but it doesn't sink in!
Last week was such a nice week and it's just flip turned! I jut don't get it?!
I'm so exhausted mentally and physically. Don't know if I want baby to come now or later, don't know which would be best for the situation?

 

[shambaby]

Hmm, bit of a theme here! My angelic 2.4 year old has recently become somewhat challenging! He plays up at mealtimes, kicks at us during nappy changes, refuses to go to bed and has started biting. Despite all this he is still my well mannered, well behaved boy underneath, we just have to figure out what is making him behave this way. My theory is that, with all the baby talk he has already noticed a shift in our focus, plus I think we have been leaving him to amuse himself too much, and he is bored and in need of more stimulation. So, now that I am on unofficial mat leave (signed off sick with pelvic pain) I am aiming to do one outing or activity with him each day. So far on Monday we baked and decorated fairy cakes, yesterday we went out on a playdate, and today while he was at nursery this morning I made some funny face fuzzy felts. I get the day off tomorrow, as he is at nursery all day. Friday I think we will make pizzas to eat for our tea, then daddy will be around for the weekend so we might try to go out somewhere. I think we need to particularly work at weekends, as he is worse with daddy, I think because he is out at work so much of the time, we need to make our time together count. It's early days, but I think it's working. Could this be something for you to try?

Also, there is nothing wrong with asking for help so you can have some time to yourself. I have Hayden's nursery time, and I have a feeling it's going to be very important to keep me sane!

 

[MorganEvans]

Let your mum take her for a break. We all have this idealistic view of spending quality time with our first borns but we're SO idealistic that it's just pressure pressure pressure!!!
You need a break, your little girl needs a break - those few hours to regroup will do you both the world of good x x

This is a good idea.

 

[kirstylm]

Thanks everyone for your support and advise its well appreciated.
I have tried to do the same and fill Each day with an activity and managed to stick with that apart from a few days.
She's like me and gets cabin fever too which doesn't help!
Funny to see though as my mum is here now and she is all over her! It's like she's had no attention for weeks!
My mum has offered to take her for the day tomorrow so I think I will take her up on it!
Thanks do much ladies.
Guna phone my MW too as need to ask of I can take something for this sinus infection and cough it's draining all my energy!

 

[momofmisters]

At this stage of the game its all about survival until baby is born and about making it through the day with your 2yr old. I am always one to follow thru with what I tell my kids and expect certain behaviors from them....BUT

There are times in a mom's life where we need to let go and pick our battles. For our own sanity and for the peace that our 2yr olds will bring.

At 2yrs old its all about control and the struggle for power...remember there are only two things a 2yr old controls in their life...and that is what they put into their bodies and what comes out.

So for your little girl her daily routine has changed...and she is trying to gain some control over what has changed...and the only thing she can control right now is her food.

I understand wanting her to eat when its meal times etc...I have two DS 4.5yrs old and a 2yr old and boy let me tell you meal times are a real challenge. But if you take away the struggle for power it becomes less about the food and more about expectations.

At meal time give your girl her food..if she chooses not to eat fine...don't battle over it. If after leaving the table she says she is hungry fine...put her back to the table and hand her her dinner or a sandwich and walk away. Don't battle. Once she sees there is no battle happening then it becomes less of a game. She will not let herself starve and she will eat enough to stay healthy. A few missed meals will not hurt her.

 

[Eleanor ace]

I'd definitely take your mum up on her offer. LO is probably acting up as she's out of her normal routine and poorly- I know that combo is guaranteed to turn my angel toddler into a terror! Spend the day taking care of yourself knowing that your DD is having a nice day with her grandma .
Also there's no reason why you can't have one to one time with your DD again- I'm one of 3 and spent plenty of time doing things with one parent while the other looked after my brothers

 

[kirstylm]

At this stage of the game its all about survival until baby is born and about making it through the day with your 2yr old. I am always one to follow thru with what I tell my kids and expect certain behaviors from them....BUT

There are times in a mom's life where we need to let go and pick our battles. For our own sanity and for the peace that our 2yr olds will bring.

At 2yrs old its all about control and the struggle for power...remember there are only two things a 2yr old controls in their life...and that is what they put into their bodies and what comes out.

So for your little girl her daily routine has changed...and she is trying to gain some control over what has changed...and the only thing she can control right now is her food.

I understand wanting her to eat when its meal times etc...I have two DS 4.5yrs old and a 2yr old and boy let me tell you meal times are a real challenge. But if you take away the struggle for power it becomes less about the food and more about expectations.

At meal time give your girl her food..if she chooses not to eat fine...don't battle over it. If after leaving the table she says she is hungry fine...put her back to the table and hand her her dinner or a sandwich and walk away. Don't battle. Once she sees there is no battle happening then it becomes less of a game. She will not let herself starve and she will eat enough to stay healthy. A few missed meals will not hurt her.

That's really good advise thank you! Will defo try that.
Tonight it was a battle again but in the end with a bit of bribery she at least ate her fish fingers!
I'm not Guna battle like u said I will try do what u have advised.
Interesting what u say actually and bang on, there's not much they control and u must be right in what u say! ;-)

Thank you!!

 

[kirstylm]

I'd definitely take your mum up on her offer. LO is probably acting up as she's out of her normal routine and poorly- I know that combo is guaranteed to turn my angel toddler into a terror! Spend the day taking care of yourself knowing that your DD is having a nice day with her grandma .
Also there's no reason why you can't have one to one time with your DD again- I'm one of 3 and spent plenty of time doing things with one parent while the other looked after my brothers

I have taken my mum up on her offer. I didn't even have to ask, she offered. Good old nanny!
It will be good for Eva as she wasn't bothered I was here today when nanny came over.
She barely even looked at me! Felt quite sad actually! It was all nanny nanny nanny. Fel like I was being punished by her
I'm just being silly now.
A day away from me will probably do us the world of good! (I hope so anyway!)
Thanks so much for your support ladies.
As horrible as it sounds, I'm glad I'm not the only one experiencing this as it makes me feel a little at ease to know its nothing I myself have done wrong.

 

[alicecooper]

Please don't think that this is the only time you'll have to spend with your DD alone. I sometimes plan to have a "girly day" with my DD (she's 7) and we go off and go around the shops together, or to the park together, or something like that. Just the two of us.

Okay it's not often, every few months, because I do have 2 more kids to think of (plus my husband has mobility problems, I'm his carer, so he needs me around, so can only do it if I've taken him and the two boys to MIL's house, which can only be done when she's not working), but we do get to enjoy each others company. If it weren't for DH's mobility problems I'd probably take her out more often.

Likewise I try and spend some one-on-one time with the others as well. Well, Jason the youngest gets a lot of one-on-one time because he's only at nursery 15 hours a week, so he's at home most of the time whilst the others are at school.
Alex I try and go outside and play with him, or in his room, just the two of us. (DD tries to butt in though I must admit, but anyway)...

what I'm saying is that this doesn't have to be your only chance, not at all x