Don't know what to do

[doctordeesmrs]

Pretty much as the title says. I'm getting pressure from my mum to get Rocco Baptised as he is living in original sin!!

DH is an atheist and i was brought up Roman Catholic but no longer practice, as i don't agree with the teachings of the Catholic church but each to their own.

So now i don't know what to do. Do i get Rocco baptised? Anything for a quite life type thing. DH is completely against it. We both believe that Rocco should be able to chose when he is older. But i don't want this topic brought up all the time. Neither of have any intention of going to church. How do we stand up supposedly in the eyes of God and promise to raise Rocco in the Catholic faith? It would just be a lie.

So i am completely stuck any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Jayden'sMummy]

I am Catholic too and i am getting Jayden baptised, but that is not for the 'holy' side of things, it is simply so he can have a larger range of schools i can pick for him to go to and because the rest of my family are Catholics too.

Do what ever you feel is right xx

 

[isil]

We're under pressure from my side of the family to get Ally done too. We've said no and that we want him to be able to choose. My Mum pushed me and I snapped and said that neither OH or I believe it so there is no way. It caused some friction but at the end of the day we really didn't want to get him done and they've shut up about it now. I guess it's whether you feel really so strongly that you don't want to bow to the pressure...or whether you'd rather not cause friction. I think if my parents had kept persisting we might have bowed eventually. But I'm fairly stubborn lol.

 

[Charlotte-j]

if u dont wanna get it done then dont
its totally ur's and ur hubbys choice
tell her that, and she'll have to learn to accept that fact

 

[cupcake]

I would certainly not do something I did not believe in. look at it this way if your kid asks u why he was baptized one day, would u be comfortble saying "cos grandma wanted it" ?

 

[doctordeesmrs]

I'm so stubborn Bethanylee. Same thing happened with our wedding we wanted a civil ceremony she tried to lay a guilt trip on me and said she wouldn't go. Then suggested a catholic blessing. In the end we had our civil ceremony with NO blessing.
I hope i am strong enough to stand up to her. I'm 25 and this is MY son. The whole thing has actually made me really angry. DH says if she has a problem with Rocco living in original sin then she doesn't see him! But i don't want this turning into a big family feud either.

Rachel i already know which school i want Rocco to go to and its not a Catholic one. So that make no difference in my situation.

I don't want my son being labeled. It makes it worse because of were i live as well. The protestant/ catholic divide is still here.

 

[doctordeesmrs]

I would certainly not do something I did not believe in. look at it this way if your kid asks u why he was baptized one day, would u be comfortble saying "cos grandma wanted it" ?

Yea this is something i have to take into consideration. Is this even my choice to make? My family aren't overly religious although they do attend mass evey week. My brothers are the same as me and i think that's were the problem is. Neither of them practice but my eldest nephew got baptised into the Catholic faith on his 1st birthday last year and my other nephew is getting baptised next month into the Church of England. It was their partners who wanted the children baptised were as me and DH don't.

 

[isil]

I think especially cos you had the wedding you wanted; it'd be silly to get him baptized just because your family want it. I understand not wanting to make it into a family feud but she must've been expecting that you wouldn't get him done after the way you had your wedding the way you wanted it and not anyone elses way.

 

[doctordeesmrs]

I think especially cos you had the wedding you wanted; it'd be silly to get him baptized just because your family want it. I understand not wanting to make it into a family feud but she must've been expecting that you wouldn't get him done after the way you had your wedding the way you wanted it and not anyone elses way.

Yea but God loves a trier doesn't he

 

[Helen]

If you and your DH are in agreement that you don't want him baptized then definitely don't do. It's really not fair of your Mum to put so much pressure on you like that.

Have you tried sitting her down and explaining your point of view as you did in your original post?

 

[doctordeesmrs]

If you and your DH are in agreement that you don't want him baptized then definitely don't do. It's really not fair of your Mum to put so much pressure on you like that.

Have you tried sitting her down and explaining your point of view as you did in your original post?

I have tried but no doubt will have to do it again. She just can't seem to understand where we are coming from. It's funny tho she never mentions it when DH is here. Think she may be trying to guilt trip me into doing it. DH gets really annoyed when i tell him she's brought it up again.

 

[x-amy-x]

No way, we were under pressure from both sides of our family. No way will i get her baptised/blessed/christened whatever. I am not religious and she will not be brought up as a christian so no.

We did have a party though to celebrate her arrival

xxx

 

[Ratty]

Your DH's opinion is far more important than your mom's as he is the father!!! Your mom must rescpect your decision as a family to not get him baptised, its plain and simple.

 

[babymello]

If you and your DH are in agreement that you don't want him baptized then definitely don't do. It's really not fair of your Mum to put so much pressure on you like that.

Have you tried sitting her down and explaining your point of view as you did in your original post?

I have tried but no doubt will have to do it again. She just can't seem to understand where we are coming from. It's funny tho she never mentions it when DH is here. Think she may be trying to guilt trip me into doing it. DH gets really annoyed when i tell him she's brought it up again.

Does your mom like your husband?

If she can't discuss what she tells you in front of him then she doesn't respect your husband. Therefore she doesn't respect you as the daughter.

It sounds like she want to control you. You have to lay down your cards and tell her straight. Tell her how you feel.

She still thinks your a little girl. Until you stand up and be that women and tell her straight, she will always look at you like that.

Just because she may have baptized you or maybe your brothers and sister doesn't mean that you have to follow that traditon.

Stand up to her in front of your mate and discuss this matter so there'll be no hiding and dropping words behind one another's back.

This will be the only way to make it very clear, so she'll understand and respect both of ya'll decision.

I know, because my mother use to do the same thing to me.

Only you can stop it. That's the only way she'll respect decisions that's made in your household.

Have courage,

Mello

 

[1st_baby]

I'm having the same problem , I come from a big italian family and to them a child must be baptized 2 months after its born , well Dh is not keen on baptizing him he wants max to be able to choose what he wants later ..but im doing it once hes 6 months for certain purpose and none are religious lol One is the school choices and 2 he will be able to marry in a church one day .

 

[doctordeesmrs]

If you and your DH are in agreement that you don't want him baptized then definitely don't do. It's really not fair of your Mum to put so much pressure on you like that.

Have you tried sitting her down and explaining your point of view as you did in your original post?

I have tried but no doubt will have to do it again. She just can't seem to understand where we are coming from. It's funny tho she never mentions it when DH is here. Think she may be trying to guilt trip me into doing it. DH gets really annoyed when i tell him she's brought it up again.

Does your mom like your husband?

If she can't discuss what she tells you in front of him then she doesn't respect your husband. Therefore she doesn't respect you as the daughter.

It sounds like she want to control you. You have to lay down your cards and tell her straight. Tell her how you feel.

She still thinks your a little girl. Until you stand up and be that women and tell her straight, she will always look at you like that.

Just because she may have baptized you or maybe your brothers and sister doesn't mean that you have to follow that traditon.

Stand up to her in front of your mate and discuss this matter so there'll be no hiding and dropping words behind one another's back.

This will be the only way to make it very clear, so she'll understand and respect both of ya'll decision.

I know, because my mother use to do the same thing to me.

Only you can stop it. That's the only way she'll respect decisions that's made in your household.

Have courage,

Mello

Wow Mello you got my mum down to a T. I fell out with her for a year because of the way she treated me and my DH. Only made up a few months before my wedding. Think me and DH need to sit down and tell her how it is. She is so controlling.

 

[marley2580]

My OH's family would have liked Kaya to be christened, but as I am an athiest I thought it would be hypocritical for me to promise to bring her up in a certain faith when I wouldn't. Instead we had a naming day and OH's mum read a blessing.

 

[CK Too]

Rocco is your child and no-one elses. If you and your DH don´t want him baptised then don´t let anyone pressurise you into doing it. If you let people start pressurising you now into doing things for your child that you really don´t want to do, it will never end. Mello, is right, nip it in the bud now.

Good Luck