don't really know where to post this....

[T'elle]

..but as i have been TTC for 3 years with a week or 2 break here and there i thought maybe it suits here... I have decided to write to IVF wales after being told ''theres not much more you can do until your 23 so just come back then'' after having a scan and blood tests to find everything ''normal''...so i have written a letter asking for an explination why i a 21 year old married woman who has been actively trying to full-fill my dreams to become a mummy when there are people out there ALOT younger including my own family members having all the support at 16 when becoming a mummy, (and they do such a great job despite there young age) and i just can't get why according to a SILLY policy my husband (25) and i are not 'old enough' according to a few sheets of paper. 2 years is a long time to wait when you have been waiting 3 years as it is for a dream to come true, and as many women have said infertility hurts and it is not something we ask to happen to us!

I really hope we can get somewhere with it, it isn't a sob sob feel sorry for us and let us get our own way i just hope it can shed some light onto the situation and make them realise that this is hurting us badly....

xx

 

[LankyDoodle]

I didn't want to leave your post unanswered hunny, even though I am from first tri.

It sounds incredibly unfair that they won't allow you to be helped because you are 21. I think writing to them is a good idea, but don't know what else to suggest.

Good luck hunny.xx

 

[T'elle]

ohh thanks hun!!! so kind of u to reply

yeah i hope it gets us somewhere, its not just for me its for eveyone else in this situation at my age. xxxx

 

[monkeygirl]

Go for it. Don't just sit back and wait 2 years. 3 years is a long time to be ttc no matter how old you are x

 

[tansey]

I hope you get somewhere - 2years feels very long in TTC terms!

 

[T'elle]

thanks girls, it is isn't it. I feel so selfish and a bit like im stamping my feet for my own way, but it isn't like that at all its just i DO have something going wrong obviously and im not going to wait another two long years, im sure i can be as good a mum as any other 21 year old mummy out there, if they'd just give me the chance...xxx

 

[brumbar]

Ok. This is what i would do if i was you..... To get to ivf you need to go through a fertility investigation...go to your GP and tell him/her that you've been ttc for 3 years. They must reffer you to a specialis for an investigation.this way, even if you can't change the rules for the minimal age for ivf you won't waste time and will be able to get past stage 1 and if you haven't concieved by the age of 23 you will be able to go straight onto the ivf list without wasing time on investigation. Hope this makes sense. Good luck hun and hope your stay here is short. Xxxx

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

I hate to say this because i no your pain but i really dont think your gunna get an answer you want. Only reason im being pushed to write an appeal is because i dont fit the normal IVF mines a different category all together. Apparently 23 is the age of which GP's accross the country thought was appropriate there is hardly anyway to change that enless your a very excepional case or dont quite fit the normal guildlines.
I hope you get a good answer but after what my dr's told me expect a negative responce

 

[kit603]

I'm so sorry to hear this, I didn't actually know that there was a minimum age for IVF. I'm 19 and my partner's 21 and we're trying to conceive with PCOS and i've always felt as though doctor's are judging me for my age. I hope you get the help you need hun.

 

[T'elle]

Thanks hun, i have been through the testing which took several months and i was reffered to IVF wales and as the booked my treatment i recieved a phone call and said that they didn't realise i wasn't 23 and said i had to wait for 2 years, if they knew i wasn't allowed it why did they put me through it with false hope, im not writing this letter as a stamp my feet get my own way, im just looking for a bit of advice on what to do next, surely they cant expect me to wait another 2 years knowing something is wrong for me not to be holding a pregnancy, its heart breaking and it really isn't fair that im too young yet im being patronized by 16 year old family members saying im young and they have children. The pain is unbearable what people like myself are going through and we shouldn't have to... infertility is something i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy xxx

thanks for all your replies xxx

 

[kit603]

Thanks hun, i have been through the testing which took several months and i was reffered to IVF wales and as the booked my treatment i recieved a phone call and said that they didn't realise i wasn't 23 and said i had to wait for 2 years, if they knew i wasn't allowed it why did they put me through it with false hope, im not writing this letter as a stamp my feet get my own way, im just looking for a bit of advice on what to do next, surely they cant expect me to wait another 2 years knowing something is wrong for me not to be holding a pregnancy, its heart breaking and it really isn't fair that im too young yet im being patronized by 16 year old family members saying im young and they have children. The pain is unbearable what people like myself are going through and we shouldn't have to... infertility is something i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy xxx

thanks for all your replies xxx

I totally know what you mean. I've not been trying for as long as you and i'm already quite depressed about it and I have family members - younger than me, that are currently pregnant and I always feel like they're rubbing it in (though that's probably just the jealousy talking...) I have a dreadful feeling that in two years i'll be in exactly the same position

 

[BizyBee]

That policy is ridiculous! I can't believe they would turn you down because of your age and expect you to wait another 2 years! I am sorry you have to go through this. Infertility is an awful experience. I would write the letter just to have a way of expressing your displeasure. It may not help at all of if they get a lot of letters, it may eventually help them re-evaluate their policy. It can't hurt! Good luck. xx

 

[kit603]

Let us know how you get on hun x

 

[livbaybee1]

go u hun, hope u hear something back from them.
23 is a random age, i can understand 21 and above but why 23 i dont know.
i spoke to u before, and like i said i been trying for 2 years on and off, and im 19, its hard, feels like we are judged just cos we are young, but like u said, we can be just as good as any mummy out there.
i really hope u dont have to wait another 2 years to be helped out.
hope we both get a bfp very soon
but good on u for writting to them xoxox

 

[kit603]

Well I had my GPs appointment (about PCOS) and she's referred me to a gynecologist for help trying to conceive but has warned me that the consultant that she's sent me to see (only one with an appointment free before DECEMBER!) refused to help a 21 year old just last week until she'd tried for three years naturally (she's been trying 2 already) because he doesn't "like the idea" of young mums!! GRRRR. Have a feeling i'll end up in a similar situation to you hun

 

[T'elle]

ohhh hun!!! xxxx

 

[kit603]

ohhh hun!!! xxxx

Did you get your letter written?

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

I still say dont write one yet.. do what we discussed the other night because IVF wales wont give you answers. its not there place they dont decide the ages the PCT does.
Go do what i said babe and demand they do what i said..