Don't want him christened

[lauren-kate]

As title says, I don't really want to get Ryan christened... but his Dad does. All of their family have been christened and there's even a family christening gown - when a baby is christened in it, their name is embroidered into it (which I do think is a lovely idea). But none of our families are particularly religious, and I'd rather Ryan had the chance to decide for himself when he is old enough to make that decision. If we're not religious, why should we get him christened? Is it not just an excuse for a party in this case? Would it be unreasonable to really insist on not getting him christened, and have some kind of naming ceremony instead? x

 

[xarlenex]

Im having this debate with myself too. But im thinking...You can be christened and still decide later on if he wishes to further his catholic religion. My local primary, St Stephans, take anyone of any religion. And when there if you dont wish them to go through confessions, communions etc its fine.

So im thinking thats my best root. My partner isnt fussed as hes never followed a religion. I did when I was younger, because its all I knew, but as I got older I drifted away myself. But id like Kyle to make his own choice x

 

[missjess]

My OH's family are very religious and you should have seen the look on my MIL's face when I said Josh will not be christened!!!!!

It's your decision hun. You're not being unreasonable at all. If you aren't religious there is no point christening your son. People should respect that.

 

[Wobbles]

Our familes have different religous beliefs and therefore we would not consider it. I was christened and my family seem sad I have decided that no Caitlin is not to be but end of day I don't go to church?!

I want a naming ceromony too but OH has totally fobbed the idea off as silly so I haven't pushed it

 

[Helen]

We've not had ours christened. Thankfully it's not been an issue with either family as neither are particularly religious. I'd be happy for them both to decide at a later date themselves as I see religion as a very personal thing. I don't think you're being unreasonable to refuse. Will your DH support you in the naming ceremony idea as an alternative?

 

[lauren-kate]

(We're not together) He's the one that suggested the christening, and he mentioned something the other day that makes me think that he thinks I've agreed to it.. which I haven't. His family have always been pro the christening idea (the gown is kind of a family heirloom/tradition so I do feel a bit bad about that). I'm not sure how he'd feel about some kind of naming ceremony instead - shall mention it when he brings up the christening conversation again. x

 

[~KACI~]

My two haven't been christened,OH's mum has asked when i shall get them christened and wants them to be done in York because apparently you can just walk in get it done. OH doesn't mind the idea- I HATE IT!! I don't go to church and neither does OH. I think my children have the right to choose and its hypocritical to get them christened and make vows to god - and then never go again!! If they decide when there older then its fine by me x x

 

[~KACI~]

Btw i would suggest the naming idea, if he doesn't like it then fair enough but you comprimised (sp) so that or nothing, don't be pressured by family traditions to something that your not happy with, at the end of the day he's your son x x

 

[lauren-kate]

I think my children have the right to choose and its hypocritical to get them christened and make vows to god - and then never go again!! If they decide when there older then its fine by me x x

That's exactly my viewpoint on the whole thing. x

 

[TashaAndBump]

If you are not religious and do not agree with infant christening for the reasons of wanting them to make their own decisions (as christening your baby is comitting to raising them into the christian faith, and bringing them up to be a christian) then it is not unreasonable to refrain from christening Ryan.

Try explaining to your OH that if, when Ryan is older, he wants to be a christian, he can get baptised and confirmed at once then (when he is old enough to understand and make the public declaration of faith that imo baptism should be about...). For now, why not have a naming ceremony and have him wear the gown for that?

Try to meet half way if you get what I'm saying. If you absolutely disagree with christening babies, and it would just be for a party - stick to your guns - You're doing the right thing for you and your bubs!

 

[foxyroxie]

i got christened and i dont go to church just because hes christened doesnt mean he has to go to church and can still make his own choice i think you should both sit down and talk about it explain why you dont want him to be christened i hope you get it sorted

 

[smartie]

I think my children have the right to choose and its hypocritical to get them christened and make vows to god - and then never go again!! If they decide when there older then its fine by me x x

These are my thoughts too.

 

[TashaAndBump]

i got christened and i dont go to church just because hes christened doesnt mean he has to go to church and can still make his own choice i think you should both sit down and talk about it explain why you dont want him to be christened i hope you get it sorted

But that just shows how hypocritical most christenings are:

When you christen a baby you make a promise in front of everybody present and in front of God, to raise the baby as a christian (you promise essentially to take away their freedom to choose their own religion/beliefs...) If you believe that you will not uphold those promises, it is reason enough not to get your baby christened.

 

[Beltane]

This is a sore subject for me as I was forced into a religious ceremony when my child was small. It was one of the worst experiences of my life! I was the only one who was against it so I was all alone in my agony. Don't do it if you don't want to. I regret not fighting for what I believed in.

 

[taughtandlost]

would you be able to have a religious ceremony, but chose the words you use yourself? you might be able to word it so that you're not making any promises that you know you won't keep.......you can have a dedication service which is half way between christening and a naming ceremony. that's what we're gonna do so that when Jacob's older he can decide for himself.

 

[Nemo and bump]

me and oh are not religious and are choosing not to get little one christened as its their choice. we're going to have guardians instead of god parents and put it in our wills. christenings really dont have the same meanings as they used to and i think it is fine not to christen a child.

 

[o0oCharlieo0o]

i think a naming ceromony is a lovely idea, thankfully my OH didnt want brendan christened either, im with you i dont beleive its my choice to make it is up to him when he is older and im sure your OH and his family will understand your views on it xx

 

[AppleBlossom]

I am not religious at all and neither is my OH except he is catholic although not a practicing one. We argued and argued because he wanted her christened and I didn't especially as my dad's side of the family who are from Northern Ireland are protestants and so pretty much hate catholics lol (they don't though but you get my drift) but I decided to go with it in the end only because I know catholic schools tend to give a better education x

 

[lorrilou]

we have just been through this. Neither me or oh are religious, we've both been christened but only ever go to church for weddings, funerals and christenings so dont see the point in having either of my children christened.

our nphew was christened at the wkend and really it was just for the presents and the after party. He will never go to church. i personally think it is hypocritical to be christened if you never have any intentions of going to church, but then it is everyones own choice.

I will let them decide what they want to do when they are older.

 

[sweetsammi]

I agree with u 100% Lauren- i also believe its just an excuse to have a party if you're not religious yourself and i think it should be the child's decison as to what if any religion he follows rather than forcing him into one. A naming ceremony is a much nicer way to celebrate Ryan's birth At the end of the day, its a similar ceromony just without the legal part etc. That in my opinion is a good compromise. Hope you can both come to soem agrrement hun xx