Don't want to take my baby out

[Lazlay]

I don't know how much more I can take. I'm so unhappy with my whole life and I don't know why. Ive got a beautiful 6 month old baby girl and I live with my wonderful boyfriend who I love and yet I'm not happy. I found it really difficult to bond with my baby but think I'm finally there. But I have this masssive issue about taking her out on my own or anywhere new. The only place I am 100% confident taking her is to the baby clinic which is about 5 min walk from my house. The thought of taking her anywhere else especially on a bus, stresses me out. I feel so embarrassed saying this but I've only ever taken her out by myself once and even then I started crying and had to get my mum to come and pick us up because I couldn't cope. I'm also strangely protective of her and won't even let anyone take her for a walk. Not even my boyfriend (her dad) even though I need and want the break from her. I hate the fact that i have to let other people hold her. I live away from my family so my parents don't knowabout my fear of taking het out although they have realised now that I'm visiting them for a week and want me to see a doctor. I think this is a bit extreme. But maybe I should? What do you think? I know this isn't normal but surely I don't need to see a doctor?

 

[MindUtopia]

Hi there, I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. It sounds like you are doing amazing under the circumstances, but I'm sure you would rather feel better. I'm just wondering, have you heard of postpartum anxiety? It's kinda like postpartum depression, except, it's the not as much feeling down and sad and tired, but worrying about going places and having a fear something might happen to your baby. It's something a lot of women experience, but it isn't talked about much like PPD is. Have you read this blog before?

https://thefeministbreeder.com/the-day-that-finally-made-me-seek-help-for-my-anxiety/

Check it out and see what you think. I read her blog a lot and she writes a lot about her postpartum anxiety.

Maybe it would be good to see your GP to talk about how you're feeling and maybe they can help you find someone to talk to or some medicine (if that would be an option you would consider) that might help. I don't think what you are saying your experience is 'abnormal' but if it's worrying you and interfering with your happiness, then it's worth getting checked out so you can get back to feeling like yourself again.

Hope you are feeling a bit better soon! Hugs.

 

[xx~Lor~xx]

I was quite similar in not wanting anyone to take my children or hold them etc, I think that's just protection. And it is nerve wracking taking them out on your own, I don't often go out on my own, or I didn't used to.

It does sound like you may have a touch of PND. It might be worth speaking to your GP, if you're not happy then they might be able to help you and then you can enjoy your life with your daughter and OH.