Doubting myself

[justkitty]

From the moment we decided to TTC I wanted a hypno-water birth (still do!). When I got my BFP I decided that although it is my first baby, I really want it at home as I have negative associations with hospitals and hate the idea of DH leaving me there etc.

He is fully on board. Not sure what happened but came back from our hypnobirthing course full of anxiety as to whether or not I could do it and could get through the birth. That night I was sick vomitting and diarrhea and my DH just grumped at me the whole night for waking him up. This added to my already new anxiety over the birth because I wondered how will he cope if its a long birth or I'm asking him to get up and get me some water etc. The thing is when i'm physically sick and ill I tend to get panicky (no idea why!) and I worry i'll get panicked during the birth and so it'll all go wrong

I know he will 100 % fully support me but I can't stop this worry. I keep reading reassuring birth stories and how everyone tells you its all worth it etc to calm me. Then I started looking into MLUs and feel as though im talking myself out of a homebirth but I know its what I really want. I think if it was at a MLU DH wouldn't be looking after me on his own. I don't want to be worrying about worrying about him

 

[Samantha675]

Have you thought about getting a doula? A doula will be there for both of you during your labor.

One thing my doula has me do when a fear or worry arises is to think it through, look at it and how it would make you feel if it happened. So what would happen when you do panic during labor? What could you do to remind yourself to calm down? What could your DH do to help you calm down? I have found this makes me look at my labor and birth at all the different angles, even ones I don't want to happen and it gives me an idea of what I could do to handle them and make it more positive.

 

[glitterbug]

Hey, it is perfectly natural to suddenly start worrying about things, especially when things like classes make things a reality.
But honestly, even taking the hypno birthing part of it out, being at home is so relaxing. I had my baby at home and i'm so glad I did. My OH made sandwiches for the midwives, we watched a bit of telly, had a giggle and I felt so calm and in control.
Once things kick in, you kind of get into a zone and you're not phased by anything really. If the midwife had ANY doubts or concerns whatsoever, even if the reasons are not clear at the time, they won't hesitate to get you transferred to the hospital, and the same applies to you. Even if you start off wanting to have your baby at home, there is no reason why you can't change your mind and go to hospital if you feel yourself starting to panic.
Please don't worry. Fears and concerns are perfectly normal, you are already a mother after all!
But I would highly recommend the serene surroundings of home if that's what your first choice would have been. It really is an amazing experience x

 

[Jims_Girl]

Keep listening to your affirmations and talk through your thoughts with your hypnobirthing instructor and your OH....

 

[tripletsOMG]

I felt the same way around 15-25wks lol But i kept educating myself stayed away from negitive people and at almost 28wks i am more than confident that i can do it and so can u!

 

[justkitty]

Thank you ladies - I know you are all right with what you say. I think it may have been the reality check at the birthing class. I've always been so confident in my thoughts up until then :-/

 

[madasa]

You can do it!! And I also recommend a doula, but then, I am biased

I found affirmations very helpful during pregnancy, to help keep me in a positive mindset.

Apparently, it's impossible to be fearful and grateful at the same time. So, once you have worked through a fear, you can "banish" it by repeating "grateful affirmations" whenever this worry rears its head. Maybe have some written down.... about how grateful you are for your supportive DH, your healthy LO, your amazing and well designed body, your "sisters" who are supporting you, access to healthy and nutritious food and good health care.... Whatever you can think of... and then, when one of these anxieties pops into your head, start repeating these "grateful affirmations". It's actually worked pretty well with me to get me over being nervous about my driving lessons and I can't wait to try it next time I have a baby!

Good luck!