Dreading SIL reaction

[Angel_blues]

So my amazing OH told his sister that we got engaged and she doesn't seem happy at all... Granted he told her over text message but they rarely talk on the phone... He should have called... Anyways I texted her after saying I was sorry he did it in that fashion and told her how he proposed and she said "well that's cliche but I'm sure you enjoyed it..." So what is she going to say or do when we announce the pregnancy!? Unfortunately we are doing it in person in October... Just dreading her reaction...

 

[DobbyForever]

First, CONGRATULATIONS!

Second, just because she is a being a wet rag doesn't diminish the joy of the situation. You can tell her, she may be a negative nancy about it and then just don't obsess with her. Share the little happy moments with people who will support you the way you want to be supported.

Is she married? Or trying? I know some of my friends don't know I am TTC and they are getting pregnant or sharing oops baby news or asking me to babysit. I am obviously happy for them that they are so thrilled to have a baby and that their boyfriends proposed and their parents are throwing them grand showers and what not... but it KILLS me to hear it. My parents have never been excited with my previous pregnancies, I had a failed engagement, they hate SO.. and in my family and circle of friends, we keep it real. If they aren't legitimately excited, they won't fake it. Even if social decorum dictates you should haha. So at the end of the day, I'm sure the lack of excitement is just due to her own personal struggles and stress that you don't know about. Not that I am excusing her. But not everyone is good at faking it

 

[Angel_blues]

She has a son he was born in January. And she has a failed marriage under her belt... I have an impression she isn't my biggest fan... It sucks she's nice and I like her...

 

[DobbyForever]

Does hubs want to be with you when you tell her? I'm sure you've tried, but maybe invite her out just the two of you and tell her you want to have a deeper connection with her. When I was engaged, my ex fiancé's sisters did not talk to me the entire time I was there. I felt so alone and isolated. When I got back to the states, I let him know I wasn't going to marry him if his sisters treated me that way. So he talked to them and explained how I felt and then talked me about how they felt. They next time I went, they each took turns taking time off of work to spend time with me and planned fun activities. We went from hating each other to tagging each other on FB as sisters and ganging up on my ex hehe. BUT you can only lead a horse to water. Some horses just have a bad attitude.

Can you tell her in a group setting? Like maybe together with the parents in law who will react positively or maybe keep her in check?

 

[Autumnflower]

Ugh my sis in law is the same way. Always the downer/negative Nancy of the group. Everybody knows this about her though so nobody really notices or cares about her reactions anymore. In fact she misses out on a lot of news because people just don't want to deal with her negativity. That's her problem though karma at its finest lol. Hopefully you two can figure something out but don't think too much about her reaction. Focus on all the happy reactions you will or have received!

 

[Angel_blues]

They live 6 hours drive away so it'll be a family thing when we tell them...

 

[LoveIsAllINo]

Have you done something to hurt her brother that he forgave you for?

It is really hard for sisters to forgive women that hurt their brother. This is coming from a sister lol.

If there is absolutely nothing you could have done to make her feel the way she does then ignore it. If she has a valid reason to feel the way she does I suggest you give her a call to work it out.

 

[Misscalais]

My mil was pretty much the same, i don't have any sils. And when we announced the pregnancy ( with my 1st bub ) all she said was shes too young to be a grandma and that now she knows why we got engaged. I was furious. We didn't even know i was pregnant when DH popped the question and he had, had the ring hidden for about 3 months prior to asking me.
Some inlaws are just not that great. We didn't speak to mil any more.

 

[Angel_blues]

Have you done something to hurt her brother that he forgave you for?

It is really hard for sisters to forgive women that hurt their brother. This is coming from a sister lol.

If there is absolutely nothing you could have done to make her feel the way she does then ignore it. If she has a valid reason to feel the way she does I suggest you give her a call to work it out.

We had some difficulties a while ago, after our loss we almost split up so that could be a possibility... But toys thi k she would have said something to him?

I'm going to see if we can go for dinner just the two of us next time we go visit, maybe we can clear things up!