Due date next month and im falling apart

[Sugden88]

Im not sure why im posting on this- my husband has suggested i go see a doctor or speak to someone about how i feel but i just cant.

Due date would have been next month and its really hitting me hard, iv struggled throught the past few months but now its harder for me to hide it.
we have tried for over 2 years, finally got pregnant and couldnt believe our luck... then lost it after 2 months.

I dont understand why we cant get pregnant and feel like iv no escape from it. Not sure how to move on or deal with it...

Anyway.....just wondered if anyone else is the same?

 

[tcinks]

So sorry for your loss I know coming up on the due date is hard, maybe you and dh can do something special together to celebrate the memory of your lost baby? Or do something to take your mind off it if you really don't want to think about it.

There are lots of threads here with many supportive ladies who could help you out during this time. There's a board for trying to conceive after a loss or recurrent losses. Also for struggles with infertility. Just search around and I'm sure you can find other women who are in a similar situation.

 

[Sugden88]

Yes iv been reading some threads on this...quite upsetting reading some but a lot of supportive ladies on it. Even just knowing your not the only one struggling and seeing different advice & tips.

Thanks for your reply x

 

[AnnieMac2]

Have you told your OB your worries about the amount of time it's taking to conceive? Sometimes the more information, the more I'm comforted. I'm going to meet a new OB tomorrow for a second opinion on how to deal with a clotting disorder I have that makes your pregnancies higher risk. Even if she shrugs it off, I'll feel like ok, talked the factual part over with someone and got stuff off my chest without delving into intense emotions. It sounds like you have some confusion and worries. Being in the dark sucks. xo

 

[AnnieMac2]

Oh, and I'm looking up a support group in the area. It will probably tear me apart and I don't plan on talking at first, but I'm sick of putting on a brave face everyday and getting comments from people who don't get it. I think it might be the one thing I haven't tried that could have a big impact. Maybe a support group could help you through the due date? The idea of going freaks me out though, so I get it if that idea turns you off.

 

[dairymomma]

I actually second your DH's thoughts on seeing a dr. But first I want to say I'm so sorry for your loss. Secondly, know that it's very normal to have these kind feelings afterwards. It's all part of the grieving process (believe me I know. I had my 10th loss just 7 weeks ago.) and milestones can be especially hard. So be gentle to yourself and let yourself mourn.

Now on to the doctor part. Since you've had such a long time in conceiving, it may be that you have something else going on and a dr can help figure out what the issue is and what your treatment options are. Typically doctors will refer you for fertility testing if you've been trying for over a year and have not gotten pregnant. For me, having the testing done (I have a history of recurrent losses so not the same as you but I do understand some of the same emotions) helped me feel like I was doing all I could to figure out what was going on. I'm still looking for answers but we've been able to cross off alot of things on the list of 'maybes'. And for you it may be something as simple as adding a supplement or taking Clomid a few days a cycle that helps you on the road to your rainbow baby.

Good luck and take it easy whatever you choose to do. Do something special on your due date to commemorate it-plant a tree, go for a walk somewhere peaceful, light a candle, buy a piece of jewelry to remember your angel. When I'm feeling low, I take a walk in the woods on our property and stop to say a prayer by a tree where we buried one of our miscarried babies. I like to think that since my baby couldn't grow big and tall and strong in life, his/her spirit is helping that tree grow instead. And wouldn't you know it? That tree is head and shoulders above the rest.

 

[Sugden88]

Thanks guys its nice to hear all this support, I think I will do sommin on the due date to mark it just dreading it the now.

Yes we had began seeing the fertility clinic, we took a break from April as we found it stressful also my hubby needs to stop smoking or they won't refer us for IVF....so we have phoned them and agreed to go in at end if July and this time my dh needs to stop smoking. IV already had scabs/ultrasounds etc, so hopefully they will put us on IVF waiting list.... Gives me something to look forward to.

Xx

 

[AnnieMac2]

I'm glad that you have some answers and assistance on the way. And it's so nice that it's coming soon. Although I know every day can be stressful.

My doc said she'd refer me to a fertility specialist if I don't get pregnant this summer. Or sooner, if I was getting anxious. Since we haven't be ttc very long, I'm not sure why she is and I was surprised. I think she just gets the anxiety. Maybe 35 yrs. old and one loss? I'm glad she's proactive though. I'm relieved that intervention is available after only a few more cycles. It breaks up the monotony of anxious waiting. And I'm so glad you're feeling that relief too. You've been through so much and it's been such a ridiculously long time that you've been enduring this. That is too much to ask of someone. You are a strong lady!! xo