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Dummies????

When DD was small she had a dummy right up till she was 3. When she started playgroup I weaned her off it by only letting her have it when she was tired, and then one night I just didnt give it to her. She cried for a bit but was fine after that.
On the flip side, I didnt have a dummy as a child and ending up sucking my thumb till I was 13!!!! Much harder to drop a thumb than a dummy lol!
I think with this LO I'd be worried about nipple confusion as I intend on BFing but at the same time, if she's fretful for something to comfort her then I will try a dummy.
So I guess I'm still undecided lol!
 
I'll be trying my very best not to give one to her, I don't want the hassle of having to wean her off them later on or it potentially causing orthodontic issues. However, I have bought about 4 orthodontic soothers as I don't know what it's going to be like and whether or not I'll be able to settle her once she has colic. IMO, if nothing settles her at all and she's very distressed but a soother calms her and sends her to sleep then I'm not going to deny her.

That said, I'll be breastfeeding so there will be absolutely NO soother for at least a month (assuming I don't have problems establishing breastfeeding) so as to avoid nipple confusion.
 
We tried to give lottie a dummy to help her settle but she would never take one, she used (and still does!) her bottle as a comforter! I will definately try with this one as giving a dummy is easier than giving a bottle! x
 
Colic wise, you will notice that babies have different "cries" for different things. A hungry cry is wayyyyyyyyyyy different from a pain cry and you WILL know the difference. Also if you try and feed a colicy baby they often scrunch up and unlatch and scream or spit the milk back at you or basically dont accept it at all. Dont worry about not knowing the difference because you pick up on your own baby darn quick.
As for breast for comfort if the baby is latching on sucking for a minute or two and then falling asleep generally that is comfort sucking. Anything that is not baby actively feeding is comfort sucking in effect and again its up to the individual whether this is something they want to partake in or not. Some babies will constantly want to latch on if they wake in the night and many can learn to only fall asleep at the breast (this is quite often when dummies are introduced as a "replacement" for comfort sucking on the breast) the idea there is to latch baby on and immediately take them off if they start to fall asleep, if they do not show interest in feeding proprly you can choose to let them suck themselves to sleep or you can put them down and use other tecniques to teach them to sleep independantly.
I will add incase its of interest that my son slept though from 6 weeks old, he currently goes to bed betwen 7-7:30pm and sleeps til 7am (or slightly earlier if I need to wake him) he sleeps completely independantly with no blankie, no thumb, no dummy and no nightlight. He has never seen monsters and has only ever woken up in the night when he was very very poorly as a 3yr old and had been sick (poor boy) He sleeps as well at home as away in his own bed or strangers bed. I co slept with him for some time as a baby through nessecity but as said did not allow him to comfort suck. Just so its clear Im not saying things but have a problem child...hahaha!!!

What I should have added is that I dont think its wrong to allow a child to comfort suckle if thats the parents choice. It was my personal choice not to allow it and find other ways and means, as with dummies etc I didnt wish to have to break the habit later.
 
I suppose the speech thing is only an issue if they're walking around with one all day. As I said, I had one and I was an early talker and you still can't shut me up! :winkwink:
 
My daughter has a dummy and isnt "dependant" on it.

From experience i wouldnt rule anything out just yet, wait until the baby is here and make a decision based on the baby and you. There were a few things i was strongly against during pregnancy that i ended up doing when my daughter was a newborn.
 
hiya, my 1st had a dummy for sleeping from day one and when she was 1 we stopped her from having it easily, my second though never took to his dummy and i thought this was a good thing but babies like to suck and if its not a dummy in their mouth the thumb WILL go in instead, i have now got a 5 yr old who sucks his thumb at night, we have tried all sorts but dummies can be thrown away...thumbs can't, bump WILL be getting a dummy from day 1 just like DD
xx

i agree with this - the thumb will be used instead of a dummy by some babies and you try stopping them! lol. Also on the othodontic front a thumb will make front teeth stick out far worse than a dummy.

My DS had one from early days and is now 3 and a half and has it to go to sleep with, but that's all - you go in an hour after he went to bed and the dummy is out! I have no problems with dummies! :thumbup:

DD will be getting a dummy (if she wants it of course) too!
 
Both my husband and I were raised without pacifiers (dummies) so our child will go without as well. Yes, it may mean that I can not plug up his mouth when he is crying like I do to my friends kids. :haha: However, what he never knows, he will not miss.\

I dislike them them but DH DESPISES them so this is pretty set in stone. Even my Baby Registry says "No Pacifiers Please!" :rofl:
 
I agree with polo_princess it depends completely on the baby and on you once she/he is here. No matter what people say now it can change once the baby is here. I dont think the dummy will make or not make a contented child, i think if the chilld is contented she or he may not need one. But then theres colic and if theyre sick or something, lots of different factors.

Also want to add, My sister sucked her thumb for years, and look at her teeth -

So maybe SOME thumb suckers end up with buck teeth but clearly not all. I dont have any problem whatsoever with dummies or thumb sucking and having had the experience of weaning a child off dummies, Its not that bad. But like i said if my daughter ends up with one, she wont have it when shes 3, it will be till shes one and then ill get rid of it. (coz like someone else said they do tend to walk around - if allowed it during the day - talking with it hanging out their mouth ) It looks awful aswell as bad for speech. But sleeping - yes i would give one. And i would also give one of the orthopedic or closer to nature ones. Not just the cheapest or whatever. :nope:
 

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I agree that it depends on the child, but since the SIDs research suggests that it reduced cot death and it is recommended that they are used for that reason, I will certainly use them at night if my baby will take one.
 
I'm planning not to use one for at least 4 weeks until breastfeeding is established. The only think that persuaded me to use one after that for sleep is the study that showed that sucking a dummy reflex has been shown to reduce risk of cot death.
 
From working with speech and language therapists I can tell you that they are not great for language development.

'Speech development can be affected due to the difficulty of making certain sounds with a high narrow palate e.g. the S sound. When a toddler is trying to talk through a dummy it is almost impossible to make any sounds accurately!'

Some good reading:
https://www.literacytrust.org.uk/talktoyourbaby/dummytips.html
https://www.iverna.com/dummies
 
I never really had an opinion on dummies untill my son spent 2 weeks in hospital at 2 months old for an operation for pyloric stenosis. He was on nil by mouth for 12 days and the nurses asked me if I had any objections to him being given a dummy. She said it will help, especially when the hunger kicks in! So for us a dummy was a god send & def something I would consider again!
 
Colic wise, you will notice that babies have different "cries" for different things. A hungry cry is wayyyyyyyyyyy different from a pain cry and you WILL know the difference. Also if you try and feed a colicy baby they often scrunch up and unlatch and scream or spit the milk back at you or basically dont accept it at all. Dont worry about not knowing the difference because you pick up on your own baby darn quick.
As for breast for comfort if the baby is latching on sucking for a minute or two and then falling asleep generally that is comfort sucking. Anything that is not baby actively feeding is comfort sucking in effect and again its up to the individual whether this is something they want to partake in or not. Some babies will constantly want to latch on if they wake in the night and many can learn to only fall asleep at the breast (this is quite often when dummies are introduced as a "replacement" for comfort sucking on the breast) the idea there is to latch baby on and immediately take them off if they start to fall asleep, if they do not show interest in feeding proprly you can choose to let them suck themselves to sleep or you can put them down and use other tecniques to teach them to sleep independantly.
I will add incase its of interest that my son slept though from 6 weeks old, he currently goes to bed betwen 7-7:30pm and sleeps til 7am (or slightly earlier if I need to wake him) he sleeps completely independantly with no blankie, no thumb, no dummy and no nightlight. He has never seen monsters and has only ever woken up in the night when he was very very poorly as a 3yr old and had been sick (poor boy) He sleeps as well at home as away in his own bed or strangers bed. I co slept with him for some time as a baby through nessecity but as said did not allow him to comfort suck. Just so its clear Im not saying things but have a problem child...hahaha!!!

What I should have added is that I dont think its wrong to allow a child to comfort suckle if thats the parents choice. It was my personal choice not to allow it and find other ways and means, as with dummies etc I didnt wish to have to break the habit later.


THANKS again!!!! :hugs:

More q's i'm afraid!!! :blush:
- Did you read any books on this that you can recommend? (getting baby to sleep etc.)
- Also, how long did you have baby co-sleep or was it just when he was ill?
- How long before you put him in his own room?
- Did you worry about SIDS at all?
 
I will buy some and just see how it goes. Don't want to say yes or no before bubs is here. xx
 
I never used a dummy for josh, i personally do not like them & feel that to many children are given a dummy to keep them quiet when they are crying or upset for a reason not because they want a dummy if you get me, having said that i do understand in some circumstances it is helpful to parents to give a child a dummy.

What i'm a little offended by though is somebodies reply stating they think something is wrong & needs to be addressed by a child having a comforter.
My son has used a certain teddy for comfort since he was a baby & i'm sorry but there is nothing wrong with him & nothing needs to be addressed either so i do find that comment offensive.
 
I missed that one.....

There isnt anything wrong with a child having a comfort toy/teddy/blankie/thumb/dummy etc... I personally didnt have one, but i dont think anything is wrong with a child who has one! ( i know a girl at 23 who still has her blankie nearby, its just a bit of material she likes the feel of and smells of home... whats wrong with that?)
 
Just wanted to say how much Im enjoying this thread. I was expecting to have my head completely bitten off but thankfully it hasnt happened...phew! Great discussion :)

Redpoppy

- Did you read any books on this that you can recommend? (getting baby to sleep etc.)
I did have one book but I cant remember the name of it. To be completely honest I mostly found my own way. As you can tell Im pretty strongly opinionated (hehe) and very certain about what I do/dont want/like so I made a lot of desicions on the whole comfort/sleeping thing as I went along. I did look up information online about comforting/sleeping tecniques and took bits that I liked and left bits I didnt. As with anything the more research you do and the better informed you are about ALL the options then the better overall view you have and you can be sure your own desicions are the best for you and your baby. Whats right for one person isnt for another, as very clearly seen in this thread :)
- Also, how long did you have baby co-sleep or was it just when he was ill?
He co slept from when he was 3 months til 15 months, this was due to nessecity as we only had a fold down sofa bed to sleep on in my mothers living room. However it worked very well and I am open minded about it with this one, as all babies are different I am waiting to see what happens. I do feel that it helped my son and had a large beneficial effect for him.
- How long before you put him in his own room?
I put him in his own room when we got this house, we did have to decorate and so on before we could move it so he was probably closer to 18 months when we was in his own room and in a "big bed" He transitioned perfectly from my bed to his own bed in his own room. As mentioned above he has never needed a nightlight, comforter and has never been a night waker.
- Did you worry about SIDS at all?
Yes, I lost a baby girl at 6 weeks old to SIDS. SIDS plays a large part in many desicions I make, such as having baby in my room til 6 months, the type of mattress, not using bumpers. However I made the desicion not to use a dummy although I read as much on the topic as I could find BEFORE making a final desicion on it. I think it would have been silly of me to have said no to dummies but not been informed of the research that has been done.

Oh and I didnt SAY there was anything WRONG with children having a comforter. What I have been saying is that my PERSONAL CHOICE is to not use comforters of any description, its not wrong its just my choice based on my personal opinions,feelings and research. It doesnt mean Im wrong to not give my child any sort of comforter it just means thats my CHOICE. Im sure I said in several places I wasnt saying it was wrong for any person to make a desicion to use a dummy, blankie, teddy whatever I was just giving my reasons and opinions on not doing so because someone asked. What Ill add here is that my personal thoughts are that at times comforters of various descriptions (dummies, putting babies to sleep using certain songs etc) can lead to learned behaviours that may cause some problems, such as the whole being unable to sleep without said blankie, teddy, dummy and so on. This does not pose a problem or concern for many, many people and thats completely ok if that is someone choice...its just not mine thats all!!
 
My sons is a bugs bunny teddy, he just loves the character & the label on the bottom of its bum lol He has 2 identical bugs teddies as he lost the 1st one so i bought him another then got the 3rd as a spare just incase lol. He found it & now has what he calls a girl bugsy & a boy bugsy. He can tell them both apart & always chooses boy bugsy (how i haven't a clue)
He doesn't take it to nursery no more as they helped wean him off it which was good, & we can go on trips without it sometimes. As i said he never had a dummy but at 6wk old he started sucking 2 of his fingers on his left hand, turn you hand upside down , so palm upwards with fingers facing your face & he sticks the 2 fingers next to thumb in lol .
 

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