Early 30's TTC #1

[Soleil Breeze]

I didn't go in for the blood work today. I called the nurse and told her that I had a BFN at 13 dpo and that I had been spotting since then. She told me to just wait out the weekend and then test on Monday if still nothing.

Cheers to no AF before Monday, girls!

 

[rosababy]

NO AF!!!! So, you tested 3 days ago, and that was 13 dpo? Have you tested since then? I hate it when our bodies do weird things, because it messes with our minds. I hope the witch stays away for you!!

 

[MrsPTTC]

MrsPTTC - I got mad reading how your doctor treated you. And to say that OPKs are a waste?! Hello?! They are so VERY important in telling us when we're going to O. How long have you been trying now?

We've been trying 15 months now, though I'm still on cycle 14. Yeah I know I am still mad about the doc, but I think I will be much less worried about the spotting if it happens this month. I feel so much better not temping so I don't know when I definitely ovulated. It helps with SS & looking for implantation signs, I feel a lot more relaxed. I understand the docs theory that if you wait til a +OPK you'll likely miss ovulation as the need to be ready and waiting. But come on, who waits for a positive OPK?? I just think it helps to know roughly when you've ovulated to monitor your LP/spotting/when to test and also to make sure you BD even if you don't feel like it (which is most of the time for me to be honest .) He was like "it's up to you if you want to waste your money" I almost said they cost next to nothing, but I kept my mouth shut. Anyway, I like POAS-ing!! I enjoy seeing the lines getting stronger. If only they were preg tests! .

I hope AF has held off and you get to test tomorrow and you get a BIG ! x

 

[rosababy]

Yet another friend told me she was pregnant today. 12 weeks, which means that last few times I've seen her, crying about ivf, she kept her mouth shut. Which I appreciated, but it still hurts. When will it be my turn?

 

[MrsPTTC]

Rosa. It will be your turn soon. I'm sure she felt bad telling you. I know my super fertile friends are starting to pity me now! x

 

[Soleil Breeze]

AF showed up yesterday morning. Here's the joke. I get up and wipe because we bought pregnancy tests the night before and I didn't want to open up the package if AF had arrived (pointless right?!). So I wipe and there's a smidgin of brown and nothing on the pantyliner. My spotting always gets progressively lighter the closer to AF I get. Well, I take the pregnancy test, finish pissing on the toilet, wipe again, and holy moly, if there's not a crap load of blood on the toilet paper. I guess you have to be in a seated position for the goods to come out properly, and not standing!

I'm not mad. I had my breakdown the day I started spotting. I know my body pretty well. It just messed with enough this cycle to think that maybe I had erred (a 16 day LP?! The longest EVER!!). So I'm okay. I am taking a break this month. No IUI, no OPKing. Nothing. I am going home to enjoy Christmas for a coupl'a weeks.

The new plan is IVF, though. I am going to send off an email to a clinic here to see if we qualify for their grant-funded program. We meet all the criteria, but, you know, there's always a loop-hole or glitch, so we're not holding our breath about qualifying.

I really can't believe it's come to this. Damn.

And Rosa, I have finally reached THAT point where I am actually getting a bit envious of people getting pregnant. I know some other gals on the thread have been having those feelings for a while now, but it wasn't bothering me when I found out my friends were getting pregnant. This past month and a half, tho, I am THERE. I am bothered. I am (head down in shame) ENVIOUS. I don't like that. So, yeah, New Year, new fertility plan. I just hope that this clinic will take us and work a miracle for us in 2012.

Oh, and MrsPTTC, if you catch your surge at the beginning (by using an OPK), the egg typically comes out around 36 hours later. So it can give you a day and a half notice, which is pretty good and why fertility clinics have you do them before IUIs (at least my current one does). I'm fairly certain the sperm only need a few hours to get to where they need to be; but I'm no doc. :wink wink:

Enjoy your week, ladies. Maybe some Holiday Cheer will put our potential eggs in the mood to become embryos!

 

[MrsPTTC]

Sorry AF got you Soleil & I think a break is a good thing, good luck for a natural in December . I think in most cases you get plenty warning with an opk but sometimes not, take my last cycle for instance, +opk the Saturday tea time & had ovulated by my scan at 8am the sunday! Funny how your clinic makes you do an opk before they get you in for your iui as we discussed iui & he said they would do it a couple of days before you ovulate! (I don't know how they know ovulation is coming, unless they scan you.) It's funny how docs have such different opinions! x

 

[Soleil Breeze]

Good point, MrsPTTC! So many opinions out there; who do you believe? Ugh.

So the clinic got back to me. They've got no funding right now for the program. They told me to contact them again in Feb/March. So my question for you gals is, do I wait to see if we qualify? Or do we just pay for it? I want a baby, but if I can wait a few months and get a good chunk of it covered, should I just wait it out? it would definitely mean no baby for us in 2012.

And the other part of the story is I am writing my dissertation and have to do fieldwork out of the country for two months at the beginning of the year/in the Spring. So maybe I just wait to take the next step?

I dunnnoooooooo!

God I want a baby. Maybe we just go ahead and pay for it ourselves and start the process in Jan? I would have to be on the market/ going in for job interviews in the Fall...would that be bad timing?

I am solo conflicted right now!!

Any advice would be appreciated. What would you do?

xx

 

[MrsPTTC]

Hi Soleil, sorry you're faced with an impossible decision! . Hmmm...it's a tricky one. It would be easier and cheaper if you waited a few months, but you've been TTC so long now I understand why you want it NOW! To be honest no matter what you did the timing would be bad for fall/autumn. If you get preggo the next few months you can have your baby by then but if you're interviewed and you get a job you might have to go back to work earlier (I'm not sure how maternity leave works in the US but here you get ages off.) On the other hand, if you wait or the IVF takes a few rounds then you'll be pregnant then and I know this sounds awful but I don't think employers like to take on pregnant women if they can help it, because of the time off they need to give you! Good luck with your decision hun, I would probably wait if funding was right around the corner for it! x

 

[MrsPTTC]

And BTW, my spotting has started but I still have hope according to the FS - he'd better be right!! x

 

[rosababy]

Soleil, is the funding a guarantee if you wait a few months? I would say if it IS, then wait. It's so darn expensive. If it's not guaranteed, I don't know what I would do. On the one hand, you've waited this long, what's another 2 months. On the other, you've waited this long, let's just get this party started already! The school work does make a difference...maybe wait so you're not stressed about it? Tough decision. Honestly, I would want to not wait, but my dh would talk some sense into me and see that the financial drain would be bad.

Pttc, sorry you've started spotting.

Afm, I've started my stimulating drugs and I'm taking the shots in the morning AND evening this time. This one BURNS going in and it's not fun at all. To add insult, I think it makes me sick, too. I spent the entire morning (and still kind of feel it) feeling sick like I wanted to puke. I couldn't even finish my Starbucks! Awesome. I probably didn't notice it last time because I took it at night and then went to sleep. It's gonna be a long 9 days. But it's only 9 days. I can do it.

 

[Soleil Breeze]

Wow, I wrote a really long message to you girls and then tried to select an emoticon, a new window opened on the IPad and my entire message disappeared. UGH.

Anyway to cut what was probably too long of a story short , we're going in for an IVF consultation on Friday. There's no guarantee of funding in Feb/March and DH thinks that things never work out like how we anticipate, so we might as well get the ball rolling...

MrsPTTC, I am so sorry about the spotting. I feel your frustration. I spot every freaking cycle and refuse to believe that it's an "ok" thing. Growl... How many DPO are you?

Rosa, I really, really hope that it works out this cycle and that you get a precious bundle (or two!). There must be something good that will come out of all of this.

Has anyone heard from hopefulmama? I hope she didn't get crushed over a failed IUI, too, but I feel like she would have been on sharing her good news if it had worked...Hopeful, hugs to you!

Oh, Rosa, before I go. Is there any specific question or questions that you think I should ask the doctor during the consultation? I will have a ton, but was just wondering if there was something that you had thought, "Darn, I wish I had asked that before I left."

 

[rosababy]

All right, Soleil!!! Get the party started!

Let's see...specific questions: not really. I wanted to know how long the entire process from the start to finish. From jab 1 to retrieval was 3 weeks, then 2 weeks to the beta. So, 5 weeks. (like you needed me to add that up for you. )

I also wanted to know what would be done with the embryos we didn't use. Well, turns out we had none to freeze, but we would have just frozen them and used them later.

 

[mrsmax]

Hey Soleil - I was going to give you some advice on your dilemma, but pleased to see you have already made your minds up! This is turning into an IVF thread Hopefully it will soon be a BFP thread.

Good luck with your appointment - I need all the details as we have ours on 22nd Dec. Yikes. What is the wait before you can actually get the procedure done? I guess as you are self funded it might be January!!!

As Rosa said, let's get this party started

Hopeful

Anyone heard from MsJ either? Where has everyone gone?

Happy Wednesday ladies.

 

[MrsPTTC]

Yay Soleil! Great news I didn't realise you were a fellow spotter! Has your doctor said anything about it, the reasons etc? When does your spotting usually start? I was 8dpo ish when it started yesterday. I got my positive opk CD14 (earliest ever!) but it was midnight so I guess technically CD15, then again CD15, I took a random temps (as I've stopped temping) CD17 & CD18 and it was still pre ovulation on CD17, so I'm guessing that's ovulation day (it was post ov temp CD18) though I guess without having a proper pattern I'll not know. The spotting looks like it's getting heavier, damn it! But PMA!!

mrsmax, I know, where has everyone gone?? I hope everyone's ok. And yes it does sound like the IVF thread these days but I hope I don't get to join you with that one!

xx

 

[rosababy]

Hey Soleil - I was going to give you some advice on your dilemma, but pleased to see you have already made your minds up! This is turning into an IVF thread Hopefully it will soon be a BFP thread.

Good luck with your appointment - I need all the details as we have ours on 22nd Dec. Yikes. What is the wait before you can actually get the procedure done? I guess as you are self funded it might be January!!!

I just FB'ed Hopeful...I hope she's doing okay. Her journal has been quiet too.

Not that I want you all to go through IVF, but it would be nice to have the company. It certainly does sound like that's where this thread is going. Ask away, ladies, I can answer anything!

Mrsmax, my cycles last 2 months long. Most people go on the pill and then on cd21, start down-regging (injections that shut the ovaries down) and then you get af, and then right around cd4 or so, you start another injection which stimulates the ovaries to make lots of eggies. When your eggs look ready, you'll do a trigger shot and 36 or so hours later, you go in for the retrieval. 3 or 5 days after that, you have the transfer. And then it's the most terrible 2ww of your life. Basically, from jab one to retrieval is 3 weeks. Add 3 weeks of bcp and then a few days for the transfer, plus 2 ww.

I'm not sure how long they'll make you wait, as I'm sure it's different for each clinic. However, I didn't have to wait at all. We went on vacay, which made us wait a month, but we would have gotten started right away.

 

[Soleil Breeze]

Ladies, you are too funny. I somehow can't envision the IVF process as a party. But I appreciate the positive slant.

It's just a consultation. And, yes, I know that we probably will go ahead and start the process sometime in the next few months...but I'm not sold on it all yet. I still hold out hope that we'll get pregnant by ourselves :say what: [more like, yeah sure!]

I really dislike how structured the whole IVF process is. Take birth control pills to stop the period; now take pills to create an abnormal amount of eggs, etc. I just wish it could be more on OUR bodies' schedules, but I know that they need to have all the gals on roughly the same schedule....It just bites. But it's a bite I feel like we're going to take soon.

DH just got a loan of $12,000 (well, his credit card company is giving it to him no interest until August). He's putting it in savings so that we can gain a little interest. I found this out today. I was like, "just because you've gone ahead and done this doesn't mean that I have to go through this if I don't want to, right? There's no pressure, right?" He said no, it was just a great deal currently going on and so he took it.



I just don't want this rolling ball to get away from me. I want to be able to control it a little. I don't plan to go in there on Friday and come out with an appointment to begin whatever it is you have to do first. Birth control pills?

Oh, and MrsPTTC, I start spotting at 11dpo. But since I had a 16 day LP this month, that was practically SIX days of spotting. The doctor doesn't seem to think it's an issue. I ovulate every month and my lining is fine. Whatever. I get spotting a day or two before. Sure. But not DAYS. I always have the LIGHTEST periods because I spot for so many days before.

Anyway, enough of that.
Rosa - thanks for putting the IVF timeframe into perspective
MrsMax - are you going in for an IVF consultation or just a general FS appointment? It sounds like IVF, but I just wanted to be sure. Is yours government funded or covered by insurance?

 

[rosababy]

Soleil, sometimes you can go by your own body's schedule. Like me...I didn't do bcp because my ovaries are too small as it is, so doc thought it would suppress them too much. However, we had to do a ton more scans so we could monitor when ovulation was, in order to know when to start injections. So, it meant more time at the office. AND, because no bcp, I o'ed late, so af was late, so everything had to be pushed back a week. Which was TOTALLY annoying.

You do have control. You don't have to do it if you don't want to. Just let it roll around on your tongue for a while...think about it, pray about it, talk about it with your dh, make a list of questions for your doc...and then make a decision. It took me a while to get on board. I was so afraid and like this is so unnatural. However, this is the only way my dh and I will make it work, so we decided it was worth it.

I'm here to tell you that you CAN do this. It's not as bad as it sounds. If I can make it through it in one piece, you can.

As I'm reading this, it sounds negative. It's supposed to be a pep talk.

 

[Regalpeas]

Hi Ladies! Just dropping in to say hello. I have lots of catching up to do. Thanks MrsPttc I'm in better moods. Just waiting waiting waiting what else is new?lol


to you all.

 

[MrsPTTC]

Hi regal!

Soleil although your spotting is for ages with a long LP it defo sounds normal spotting from 11dpo. I'm with you on the IVF, I think it sounds yack! But needs must, I just hope I don't have to reach that point!

Rosa, you've changed your Avatar after all this time! Is that you in the pic?

Well I tested, I'm roughly 10dpo so I know I'm not out yet, but I'm just not feeling it . Took a random temp this morning & it was still above my usual coverline but wasn't particularly high. On the test though I could see where the line should be, I think its possibly my first evap! x