Early 30's TTC #1

[pink80]

I'm still here ladies - just don't have much to say I'm in my own little limbo land Although a couple of positives happened yesterday - most of my blood clotting tests came back negative, which is great - just the test for lupus to go.

The other thing is my metformin is obviously working as I got a positive OPK last night and a PEAK on my CBFM this morning, which means I'm ovulating today/tomorrow - which will give me a 30/31 day cycle. I haven't had one of those since November last year and that was only because I took SOY. Now just waiting for OH to decide when he's ready to try again

I'll be cheering you guys on to your IVF or any other way xxx

 

[rosababy]

Rosa, you've changed your Avatar after all this time! Is that you in the pic?

yep! Someone in my journal thought I was chinese, and someone else thought I was black and curvy.

MrsP and pink, sorry about the bfns.

 

[MrsPTTC]

its funny as you do have a picture of what people look like in your head when youre chatting to them! I think I imagines you to have darker hair & Hispanic looking!! . Have a guess what I look like, this could be a fun game! x

 

[MrsPTTC]

Good to see you back Pink! Glad things are going well with your tests .

Had a mini breakdown this morning Another & I'm 12 dpo, possibly 13, so I am likely out. I was horrible to DH & accused him of not supporting me. He shouted back do I not stop to think that it could be affecting him the same as me. He's right, I didn't til now. He just doesn't say much about it, & when we 1st started ttc it was more me than him, but he's got used to the idea & wants it as much as me now. I feel really bad. And i was watching a soap before & burst out crying when a 15 year old girl found out her baby was ok after she had a fall. I guess its just hit me, no BFP for xmas again. I had my friends over last night & 2 are pregnant. Watching them rub their bumps was torture, I'm so jealous. Sorry I'm on a downer xx

 

[rosababy]

its funny as you do have a picture of what people look like in your head when youre chatting to them! I think I imagines you to have darker hair & Hispanic looking!! . Have a guess what I look like, this could be a fun game! x

It's totally fun! I think everyone assumes I'm hispanic because of Rosa. It's my married name. Sometimes I wish I was Latina! Wish I could move my hips like a Latina. I'm def white. Oh well. MrsP, I picture you lighter hair, lighter skin...am I close?

Sorry to hear that you had a bfn and a meltdown. It caught me by surprise when I found out that my dh was just as upset. I always assumed it was just me who got upset each month. Sucks about your friends, too. I've been surrounded, literally, by preggos lately. Every one of my friends (except for one, thank goodness, who I'm hanging out with today) is pregnant.

 

[MrsPTTC]

Oh well. MrsP, I picture you lighter hair, lighter skin...am I close?

Rosa are you psychic????

So you mean Rosa is your surname rather than your first name?

Yeah I only have one good friend who's not pregnant, and she doesn't even have an OH, so at least I'm very unlikely to be the last! I feel a bit better now, but still gutted no for xmas. I've had a look at some charts on FF and there are some negatives at 12DPO then positives at 13/14 even 18DPO! So I know I'm still with a chance, but I also know it's very unlikely. The spotting has stopped though, which is fab, though I have had a couple of cycles (though not for a while) where the spotting stopped and then 2 days later flew in! . It's just a waiting game x

 

[Soleil Breeze]

Well girls; I went, I consulted and then my hairy legs and pits opened for a physical exam! I TOTALLY forgot that you get a physical when you go in for these things. DH and I had had sex, and while I almost always clean up afterwards, I didn't this time. So I was like "Nooooo; smelly and unshaven! Good Lord!" Oh, well. Same as before; everything checked out just fine. :thumb up: Ovulating from my right ovary in a week or so. There were about five follicles vying for dominance. I thought that was pretty cool to see. I've never seen the ovaries that early in the cycle. It's usually when I'm about to O and they're measuring the dominant one (or two) for size.

As for the consultation...I left saying to myself, I can't do this. If I do, I'm going to wait until the Summer. All the possible negative side effects of IVF were swimming in my head (ovarian cancer, ruptured blood vessels, etc., etc.). And then, that night (yesterday! seems so far away!) I asked myself, do I want to wait until 2013 for a baby?

No.
NO.
NO!

And so, we're going to do it. I probably won't be able to start in January b/c I'll be on Holiday still when CD three starts, etc. I still have to get all my old results to the new place. Still have to figure out exactly how much this is going to cost (it's looking like $14,000-16,000), etc. I.E., there's a lot of questions still, but we're going to do it as soon as we are able. The doctor already told us what protocol we'd be on if we go ahead.

Rosa, I'm going to have so many questions for you the closer we get to the process. I am petrified of ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome. I know that I shouldn't be worrying about these things because everything will probably be fine...but I just can't help it. I'm prone to cysts. I know every cycle from which side I will O (I'd already told the doc yesterday that I could feel my right ovary working, and, lo and behold, that was the one that had all those follicles vying for attention).

I feel a bit better about it all today. Yesterday I was resentful because I think DH is the problem (low morphology and motility) yet I am the one that has to go through all this BS. But that's not the way to look at it. I want this baby WITH HIM. So this is what I have to do.

Sorry. This is long.

MrsMax, I hope all goes well for you at your appt.
Regalpeas and Pink it's so good to hear from you.
MrsPTTC, girrrrl, I feel for you. It sucks when you realize that this isn't the month.

Now I'm just praying that DH impregnates me before I go on holiday (I leave a few days before him). I REALLY want a Christmas miracle.



Rosa - thanks for the pep talk! It didn't come across as negative at all.

 

[MrsPTTC]

Yay, so pleased for you Soleil! Almost a tear to my eye when you said about waiting til 2013 for a baby. I've got 3 more chances after this one to make a 2012 baby. AF due today & nothing yet, also spotting still stopped . No IC's in the house but will buy some cheapies today for wed morning as I am on a late shift x

 

[MrsPTTC]

came x

 

[mrsmax]

MrsPTTC. I can't believe how unlucky this thread is at the moment.

I O'd on saturday, which means AF due on Christmas Eve. Bah Humbug. Still, looking on the good side, I will be starting Clomid on Christmas day I'm just hoping I can drink with them.

Soleil - it sounds like your appointment is teh kind of appointment I will have next week. Thanks for the tip - I will make sure I am nicely waxed It is scary adding up the costs, but having a baby is the most important thing and the best thing in the world to spend your money on. I do think it strange that you and I both have been pregnant but now are on teh IVF road. Life is weird. After I had my chemical in July, I was sure I would be pregnant again in 6 months. Sigh.
I feel ok this cycle. Starting back on teh accupuncture has helped and getting the IVF going. I feel a bit more resigned to my fate. Like, this is my journey. I suffer from subfertility ( I refuse to say I am infertile). I have accepted it is not easy for me to have children. But I will have them, whether by IVF or just waiting longer than most to get my lasting BFP. It feels better to accept it than fight and moan and wonder why. Well, it worked for me

 

[MrsPTTC]

mrsmax, we will all get our I'm sure of it! Why do you not think you can drink on clomid?? x

 

[mrsmax]

mrsmax, we will all get our I'm sure of it! Why do you not think you can drink on clomid?? x

No one said I couldnt drink on them - I was just hoping I could. I hadnt clocked that you were doing Clomid too - any probs.

 

[MrsPTTC]

Oh god yes you defo can! I'm sure I read the instructions thoroughly before I started taking it and didn't see anything about not drinking! Get the open petal!

Just a word of warning you get BFP symptoms on it, sore boobs, cramping. Nice and early ovulation though! . I haven't had the hot flashes, I think it was Rosa that suggested taking it at night and I do and haven't had that so thanks for the tip Rosa! I have however had shocking mood swings and any side effects are sporadic all the way through the month rather than just when you're taking the pills which is weird. What days are you taking it? 2-6 or 3-7? x

 

[MrsPTTC]

Oh and my CM isn't as good and my contact lenses dry up (but only when I take the pills!) x

 

[rosababy]

Oh well. MrsP, I picture you lighter hair, lighter skin...am I close?

Rosa are you psychic????

So you mean Rosa is your surname rather than your first name?

Was I right?! Yes, Rosa is my last name.


Soleil, I literally lol'ed at your post! Honey, during IVF you go for exams and internal u/s like every day. I stopped trimming a long time ago. I was like I'm sure they've seen much worse and I just can't be bothered. However, after reading your post, I promptly went upstairs, shaved, and trimmed. My retrieval is coming and there will be an entire audience in the room, so I felt it was necessary.

I don't want to have a baby in 2013 either. It sounds so far away. It IS so far away. I'm glad you've made a decision! I'm here to tell you that IVF is not as scary as I had played it up in my mind. You CAN do it. I'm so much more chill this round because I know what to expect, and even when I was in the midst of things last time, I was like that's it? Oh I can do THAT! Any questions, you just shoot them at me. I didn't have OHSS, but I know a few people who have. They'll monitor you, and they'll know if you're prone to it or not. You'll be fine.

came x

Ugh. I'm so sorry MrsP. That sucks.


Mrsmax, we do need some bfps in this thread. It's been a while since we've had some good news. I feel like we should be moved to LTTTC, or assisted conception. You can totally drink while on clomid. It gave me mad hot flashes, mostly in the middle of the night because I took them at dinner time. Only while I was actually taking the pills though, so just for those 5 days. I was also pretty emotional on them. However, nothing like the med I was on for IVF last week! Yikes! Look out! Did I know you were doing acupuncture? I can't remember...do you like it? I'm doing it too...

I felt the same way about ivf and babies in general as you do now. I was like why me? Why ivf? This is so crazy! Now that I'm in it though, I feel much more at peace with it. As my dh reminds me, this is our cross to bear. Other people have other issues. This is ours. Luckily, there are things we can do about it, like IVF. We can do this.

Oh and my CM isn't as good and my contact lenses dry up (but only when I take the pills!) x

Totally! This happened to me too. CM was non-existent.

Afm, I had another scan this morning (like every other day with ivf! ) and doc keeps saying how pleased he is with everything, my ovaries, lining, etc., and how much better it is this time! That makes me so happy and optimistic. He counted 9 follicles on the right and 8 on the left. Holy crap! Last time I had like 5 on one and 3 on the other. MUCH better! Friday will be my retrieval and I can't wait! I'm actually looking forward to it! Just can't wait to see how my eggies look. Meanwhile, I have 2 1/2 more days of shots. Thursday, Friday and Saturday will be shot free! Sunday starts the progesterone shots, and they're actually not as bad as these.

 

[readyORnot]

hi guys, I've been following the thread silently for a while so as not to upset anyone because it's obvious what a tough time most of you are having but I just wanted to suggest something for those with CM issues:
in my honey and cinnamon group most of the ladies are reporting fantastic CM since starting honey and cinnamon (1 tsp per day sprinkled with some cinnamon). There are so many other benefits to honey and cinnamon but it's reported to help with fertility in both men and women.

to all of you and I'm rooting for you all and sincerely hope you all get your 2012 babies

 

[MrsPTTC]

Hi again readyornot, thanks for the tip. I've heard about the honey/cinnamon thing, I think someone from the moonstone thread was doing it (greenpear if I remember right.) I might have a look but I dont really like either honey or cinnamon, especially not cinnamon, when I cook with it the smell makes me feel . But then I don't like the robitussin either but cope with that, so I can maybe knock back a teaspoon! Keep in touch hun, too many people leave threads when they are preggo but we need you to keep coming back so we can see it is possible!

Rosa!!!! That is fab news I have a very good feeling about this cycle for you! All those follies, wow! . And yes you were right about the blonde & pale!

X

 

[Regalpeas]

I'm right...here right now. Body you've been weird?! Where the heck is my BFP?!!!!!

NO AF!!!! So, you tested 3 days ago, and that was 13 dpo? Have you tested since then? I hate it when our bodies do weird things, because it messes with our minds. I hope the witch stays away for you!!

 

[Soleil Breeze]

Pink 80 - I am SO glad that you are getting back good test results from your blood work and that the metformin seems to be working for you. That is GREAT! You'll see, all these small things will make for a really big BFP this upcoming year

Rosa - you had me ROFL this time! I am glad that my post inspired you to trim down the hedges some (I hadn't shaved my legs, much less trimmed the hedge!) I also think it's kind'a uncanny how your DH and you finished saying that this was "your cross to bear." When me and DH were discussing it over the weekend, I had told him how I had been frustrated with having to go through IVF and that I was p-o'ed that HE didn't have to do crap while I had to undergo, well, you know, all the IVF stuff. And then I said, but now, the way i see it is, you've got to play the hand you've been dealt. That's if you want to be in the game at all. And I do. We do. I am really happy that you've got plenty more eggies to retrieve this week. That is REALLY fab. news. Were you on a different protocol this cycle?

Readyornot - thanks for popping, sister! And thanks for the advice. I love both honey and cinnamon, so combing the two won't be a problem for me! I wonder though, if I have killer CM, it might be bad for me to produce more of it, right? [I don't know whether I have killer CM, but I sometimes think that I must].

MrsPTTC - you are IVFing soon too or are you IUIing or neither? I cannot remember. Hugs to you, though, for being visited by Aunt Flo (the body really can throw us for a loop sometimes; e.g. the spotting stopping and then AF coming. She does that to me, too).

MrsMax - I took clomid on CD 3-7 in April, Sept., Oct. and Nov. I never had any mood swings, hot flashes or anything like that while I was taking it. It also didn't consistently *do* the same things. E.g. my O day changed every single month I took it to the point that last cycle (Nov), I O'ed on CD 19 - just like I do when I'm off clomid!

I can't believe how fast times flies. If I hadn't miscarried in June I would be a couple of weeks away from giving birth. My stomach would have been HUGE. I can't imagine myself like that. Can you? Can you girls see yourselves pregnant? Sorry. :/ Just went on a down note.

Anyhew; on we go, ladies! On we go!

 

[MrsPTTC]

I hadn't shaved my legs, much less trimmed the hedge!

That's funny!

MrsPTTC - you are IVFing soon too or are you IUIing or neither? I cannot remember. Hugs to you, though, for being visited by Aunt Flo (the body really can throw us for a loop sometimes; e.g. the spotting stopping and then AF coming. She does that to me, too).

No IVF or IUI just yet. FS wants me to try the clomid for 6 months and go back & see him if no BFP. I think IUI would be next. I did confirm with him last time I saw him (when he was an ass) that I qualify for 3 free rounds of IVF. Though hopefully it won't get to that point.

I can't believe how fast times flies. If I hadn't miscarried in June I would be a couple of weeks away from giving birth. My stomach would have been HUGE. I can't imagine myself like that. Can you? Can you girls see yourselves pregnant? Sorry. :/ Just went on a down note.

So sorry hun, it must be a hard time . But I am longing for a big bump and love my friends bumps, but I know what you mean it's funny picturing yourself with one! x