Early 30's TTC #1
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hopefulmama2b
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Good luck, good luck!!!!!
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I didn't realize how many of us were happening upon our 1 year mark. We should hold hands and cross the bridge together...OR we may get the BFP just shy! That's what I'm hoping!!!
DH and I started trying early august 2010. We are now on CD4 of our 12th cycle. It's a weird feeling because we know this puts us in another statistical bracket. It's hard not to start worryin... But we just keep pressing forward. Called to set up the SA for DH today. Ive been checked out a gazillion times. I haven't had any fertility increasing procedures(well technically that's what the myomectomy was), but my RE and GYN said everything looks fine. We'll see what's going on w/ dh. After that we'll have to bring out the heavy artillery one way or another if a BFP is not had soon.
I do agree though about everything happens for a reason. I just said the other day this just isn't our time. God has more work for me to do as a wife, career woman and non-mothering woman. Because lord knows once the LOs get here...priorities will shift like crazy.
Here's to trying w/o ceasing even though we could have given up so long ago. *cheers*
DH and I started trying early august 2010. We are now on CD4 of our 12th cycle. It's a weird feeling because we know this puts us in another statistical bracket. It's hard not to start worryin... But we just keep pressing forward. Called to set up the SA for DH today. Ive been checked out a gazillion times. I haven't had any fertility increasing procedures(well technically that's what the myomectomy was), but my RE and GYN said everything looks fine. We'll see what's going on w/ dh. After that we'll have to bring out the heavy artillery one way or another if a BFP is not had soon.I do agree though about everything happens for a reason. I just said the other day this just isn't our time. God has more work for me to do as a wife, career woman and non-mothering woman. Because lord knows once the LOs get here...priorities will shift like crazy.
Here's to trying w/o ceasing even though we could have given up so long ago. *cheers*
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MrsPTTC
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I didn't realize how many of us were happening upon our 1 year mark. We should hold hands and cross the bridge together...OR we may get the BFP just shy! That's what I'm hoping!!!
I do agree though about everything happens for a reason. I just said the other day this just isn't our time. God has more work for me to do as a wife, career woman and non-mothering woman. Because lord knows once the LOs get here...priorities will shift like crazy.
Here's to trying w/o ceasing even though we could have given up so long ago. *cheers*
It's horrible getting near that year mark, can't even imagine how LTTTC's must feel!! Wow you've squeezed 12 cycles into 11months! Wish my cycles were shorter. Good luck with the SA, my hubby had his a couple of months ago & came back fine, obviously me that's the problem lol. X
MrsPTTC
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So here is what happened today:
I didn't particularly like the consultant, I feel a bit deflated. He said he's surprised my doc referred me so early, even though I am over 30, but "as I was there" it was fine to go forward. I knew my doc was referring me too early but who am I to complain lol?! He said OPK's and temping are a waste of time
& we need to BD every 2-3 days throughout the cycle. His reasons were that if you BD when you get your surge it's usually too late (we do it beforehand too so I don't really see his point there) and also it stresses you out and stress is bad for TTC - I totally agree there, I do get stressed...
Hubby has to go for ANOTHER SA as apparently it's best to do 2, and this has to be done at the hospital so DH is not gonna be happy. I mentioned the spotting I have before AF (from 9/10 DPO) but he didn't really pick up on it or ask many questions, nor about the ovary pain I've been getting during the LP and now during the first half of the cycle . I mentioned I'd been taking some herbs so my cycle has been up and down and he didn't even ask what herbs I'd been taking (probably thought that was stupid too lol!) and he said the only thing that concerns him is the cycle length 34 days, although classed is normal is on the long side.
So he's sending me for CD 2/3 & 27 bloods, and a HSG. However, he's obviously been reading my file and noticed I've seen a gynae (no examination just a discussion) about painful sex (sorry TMI!) I explained this was better since TTC as now has a purpose! but he said he thinking a HSG might be too painful for me and gave me the option of a lap and dye! I said I wasn't keen on the idea of being knocked out and was a bit put on the spot so he said we'll go for the HSG then if it doesnt work a lap and dye...Now I've been thinking since I came home and am wondering if I should just go for the lap in the first place? What would you do in my situation? I've read the leaflet about HSG and if there's a blocked tube they would need to do and lap anyway so surely it's better to have 1 procedure rather than 2?! I'm really confused! Do I give the opk's and temping a miss from now on? He didn't even want to look at my charts! I feel like I've wasted the last 10 months!
x
I didn't particularly like the consultant, I feel a bit deflated. He said he's surprised my doc referred me so early, even though I am over 30, but "as I was there" it was fine to go forward. I knew my doc was referring me too early but who am I to complain lol?! He said OPK's and temping are a waste of time
& we need to BD every 2-3 days throughout the cycle. His reasons were that if you BD when you get your surge it's usually too late (we do it beforehand too so I don't really see his point there) and also it stresses you out and stress is bad for TTC - I totally agree there, I do get stressed... Hubby has to go for ANOTHER SA as apparently it's best to do 2, and this has to be done at the hospital so DH is not gonna be happy. I mentioned the spotting I have before AF (from 9/10 DPO) but he didn't really pick up on it or ask many questions, nor about the ovary pain I've been getting during the LP and now during the first half of the cycle . I mentioned I'd been taking some herbs so my cycle has been up and down and he didn't even ask what herbs I'd been taking (probably thought that was stupid too lol!) and he said the only thing that concerns him is the cycle length 34 days, although classed is normal is on the long side.
So he's sending me for CD 2/3 & 27 bloods, and a HSG. However, he's obviously been reading my file and noticed I've seen a gynae (no examination just a discussion) about painful sex (sorry TMI!) I explained this was better since TTC as now has a purpose! but he said he thinking a HSG might be too painful for me and gave me the option of a lap and dye! I said I wasn't keen on the idea of being knocked out and was a bit put on the spot so he said we'll go for the HSG then if it doesnt work a lap and dye...Now I've been thinking since I came home and am wondering if I should just go for the lap in the first place? What would you do in my situation? I've read the leaflet about HSG and if there's a blocked tube they would need to do and lap anyway so surely it's better to have 1 procedure rather than 2?! I'm really confused! Do I give the opk's and temping a miss from now on? He didn't even want to look at my charts! I feel like I've wasted the last 10 months!
xI have been on TTC before for over a year. I think it is still early for you to claim any problems of infertility. Anyway, I know the feeling of trying intensely yet unsuccessful. It would really stress us as a woman aiming to have a child. Well, my prayers are with you. Sustain a positive stamina. I assumed everything will be fine soon. 
rosababy
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mrs, Okay first of all, is this the only doc you can see? If you do not feel comfortable with him, go somewhere else, because let me tell you, you will see him a LOT in the next few months. You need to like him.
On the other hand, yay for getting the ball rolling! I was surprised at how unimpressed my doc was with o sticks and temping as well. Both my ob-gyn and RE. Okay...then why did we do all of that in the first place!!! Oh well. If you're o'ing around the same time every cycle, then why do you need to dtd every 2-3 days?? Sex is sometimes painful for me, too, and I'm wondering if it wasn't my endo making that happen...? I'm curious to know after the endo has been lasered out, if that'll change. Like you, it's not so bad now that we're doing it more often for ttc purposes.
Have you been ttc for a year? If you're over 30 and ttc for more than 9 months, I say let's figure this out. Don't let him make you feel bad. You're there, and you're going to figure this out so you can get your baby. If you don't like him, go somewhere else to spend your money.
As for the hsg vs lap/dye: does your insurance cover them? I had an hsg, and while it was slightly painful (more uncomfortable), the pain stopped as soon as the test was done. However, my test was inconclusive, so I had to do that lap/dye as well. I was happy to be put out for this, but here I am, a week later and I finally feel like I'm almost back to normal again. Everyone says oh the recovery is a breeze. Well, it wasn't for me. Maybe it was because this was my first EVER surgery, or maybe because I'm a baby and afraid of laughing too hard to engage my core muscles because it might hurt, but whatever it is, a week of recovery. They figured out my issue though. And you're right, you may end up doing both. I would have gladly skipped the hsg had I the option...just sayin'. PLus with the lap/dye, he can see if there's any endo, which he can get rid of, and see the tubes more clearly, which he cannot do with the hsg alone.
I would give the temping and opks a rest for now. I did, and I felt so much more relaxed. It was hard at first, especially when you did it for so long, but you have gotten everything out of charting that you will need. You know when you o, how your body works, but something else is clearly wrong. Which you're close to figuring out now! My ob and RE said to just dtd about every other day during my fertile time until we can figure out what is going on. He said and of course you dtd other parts of your cycle, just normally right? I"m like ummm....welll....lately it's been more business-like.
As for now, feel good that you have some tests scheduled and things will soon get figured out. Feel free to ask me about any of the procedures. Lord knows I've had them all.
On the other hand, yay for getting the ball rolling! I was surprised at how unimpressed my doc was with o sticks and temping as well. Both my ob-gyn and RE. Okay...then why did we do all of that in the first place!!! Oh well. If you're o'ing around the same time every cycle, then why do you need to dtd every 2-3 days?? Sex is sometimes painful for me, too, and I'm wondering if it wasn't my endo making that happen...? I'm curious to know after the endo has been lasered out, if that'll change. Like you, it's not so bad now that we're doing it more often for ttc purposes.
Have you been ttc for a year? If you're over 30 and ttc for more than 9 months, I say let's figure this out. Don't let him make you feel bad. You're there, and you're going to figure this out so you can get your baby. If you don't like him, go somewhere else to spend your money.
As for the hsg vs lap/dye: does your insurance cover them? I had an hsg, and while it was slightly painful (more uncomfortable), the pain stopped as soon as the test was done. However, my test was inconclusive, so I had to do that lap/dye as well. I was happy to be put out for this, but here I am, a week later and I finally feel like I'm almost back to normal again. Everyone says oh the recovery is a breeze. Well, it wasn't for me. Maybe it was because this was my first EVER surgery, or maybe because I'm a baby and afraid of laughing too hard to engage my core muscles because it might hurt, but whatever it is, a week of recovery. They figured out my issue though. And you're right, you may end up doing both. I would have gladly skipped the hsg had I the option...just sayin'. PLus with the lap/dye, he can see if there's any endo, which he can get rid of, and see the tubes more clearly, which he cannot do with the hsg alone.
I would give the temping and opks a rest for now. I did, and I felt so much more relaxed. It was hard at first, especially when you did it for so long, but you have gotten everything out of charting that you will need. You know when you o, how your body works, but something else is clearly wrong. Which you're close to figuring out now! My ob and RE said to just dtd about every other day during my fertile time until we can figure out what is going on. He said and of course you dtd other parts of your cycle, just normally right? I"m like ummm....welll....lately it's been more business-like.
As for now, feel good that you have some tests scheduled and things will soon get figured out. Feel free to ask me about any of the procedures. Lord knows I've had them all.
hopefulmama2b
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Sorry to hear about your crappy visit!!! As for the opk and temping- I've been pregnant twice both with the assistance of opk, but never temping- b/c of course temping just tells you after it's over. I can see avoiding the temps because they do add stress and don't help you pinpoint dates, but I disagree on the opk. They're not that hard and I don't think they made me stressed. Considering you get the surge 12-36 hours BEFORE you o- I disagree with his statement that it's too late. Both times I got pregnant we had opk's assisting us on pinpointing the days.
I don't have much advice on the hsg vs lap, but if the lap tells you everything the hsg does and more, maybe you should consider going that route since he gave you the option?
Good luck!
I don't have much advice on the hsg vs lap, but if the lap tells you everything the hsg does and more, maybe you should consider going that route since he gave you the option?
Good luck!
Crumbs
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MrsPTTC, I'm sorry your appointment left you with more questions 
I know how it feels about not liking your doc, after getting over the unexpected vag ultrasound I had with my last appointment, I'm looking back and feeling really gypped - but for the opposite reasons you stated. At least yours is willing to do something. Mine seemed to just offer the ultrasound out of curiosity (said all she was going to check is the corpus luteum). But that was only because she was trying to say we were there too early and to basically come back in a few months. She acted like we knew nothing about TTC and explained about how the egg lives only a day and the sperm 7 days (WTF all clinical tests say it's not 7 days, 5 if they're lucky, most likely 3).
Then I got the bill. Both me and my husband were charged, although he just sat there and was told, "Did you get the results for your SA yet?" ... "No, well it's normal."
I really like the midwife I first spoke to before, but the actual doctor is an ass. I wish she at least scheduled something. I'm not looking forward to seeing her again.
But the positive thing is you started the process. So whether you stay with her or not, your results and tests are still done.
I know how it feels about not liking your doc, after getting over the unexpected vag ultrasound I had with my last appointment, I'm looking back and feeling really gypped - but for the opposite reasons you stated. At least yours is willing to do something. Mine seemed to just offer the ultrasound out of curiosity (said all she was going to check is the corpus luteum). But that was only because she was trying to say we were there too early and to basically come back in a few months. She acted like we knew nothing about TTC and explained about how the egg lives only a day and the sperm 7 days (WTF all clinical tests say it's not 7 days, 5 if they're lucky, most likely 3). Then I got the bill. Both me and my husband were charged, although he just sat there and was told, "Did you get the results for your SA yet?" ... "No, well it's normal."
I really like the midwife I first spoke to before, but the actual doctor is an ass. I wish she at least scheduled something. I'm not looking forward to seeing her again.
But the positive thing is you started the process. So whether you stay with her or not, your results and tests are still done.
mrsmax
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Mrs - what a bummer. It honestly seems like the first visit is always rubbish. Mine was - you may recall we had our first one in April and they said "dont worry everything is normal, you will get pregnant, have sex days 9-11-13-15-17 and 19, and cared nothing about charting OPking etc" Sometimes it feels like we know more than they do!! Arghh.
So, go for a HSG I says as I got my BFp that cycle (even though I m/c). Lots of people get BFPs after them so I say go for that. I didnt find it painful (but othetr people do, I guess).
I like charting simply cause it makes me feel I am doing something and I like to confirm when I o'd - just for the hell of it I guess and also so I can stop b'ding. Like Rosa said it all gets a bit business like these days
So, go for a HSG I says as I got my BFp that cycle (even though I m/c). Lots of people get BFPs after them so I say go for that. I didnt find it painful (but othetr people do, I guess).
I like charting simply cause it makes me feel I am doing something and I like to confirm when I o'd - just for the hell of it I guess and also so I can stop b'ding. Like Rosa said it all gets a bit business like these days
I love my doctor, I trust him...and now I have to go somewhere else?!?! Are you FREAKING KIDDING ME?! 
I'm so upset right now.
MrsPTTC
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Paige.Br, I know what you mean, but it wasn’t actually myself that suggested getting tested, I just asked the doctor how long he thinks I should leave it and he said with being over 30 I could be referred anytime. I was going to leave it until the year mark then I thought well why not get seen as I’d rather know now if there’s any problems rather than later…Especially with having spotting problems and what I think is ovary pain, if I had a “normal” cycle I wouldn’t have been so keen.
Rosa, this is our 10th month, I’m in the UK so don’t have to pay for it luckily! With it being on the NHS I’ll just see how it goes, he’s probably ok, I just felt a bit like a kid when he dismissed what I’d been doing and that I’d been referred early. Oh I forgot the lap was what you’d had (didn’t realise you’d had an HSG as well) I remember the conversation about how worried you were for it, I just didn’t realise that’s what it was as I knew nothing about fertility investigations/treatments at the time! So sorry you can’t keep your doctor! Sending you big
Crumbs - at your doc and her knowledge of TTC! My friend who is now pg was told by her doc as she’s got a 28 day cycle she will definitely ovulate on day 14!! Well, turns out the cycle she got pg she got her LH surge on CD10 and if she’d not OPK’d she would’ve missed it! She only DTD twice that month and caught the egg so I do think OPK’s are worth it. Due to my painful intercourse I’m afraid I don’t enjoy it so I’m certainly not BD’ing every other day throughout the cycle, and unless you add some spice to it I think it’s very boring!
Mrsmax – totally agree with you about sometimes feeling we know more than them! I know we probably don’t, but they do come out with some funny things sometimes!
Hopeful I totally agree with you. I think if you have a very good sex life then fair enough BD'ing every other day will cover it, but as we don't I don't see the point in forcing myself. For example, I'm nowhere near ovulating at the minute, and know I won't be fertile for about a week, yes I will start trying to BD earlier as I can see his point (sort of), but really any
we have tonight is just not gonna do the job!
So I’ve done a bit research on HSG’s and Laps and it appears they can both pick up things that the other can’t! I know if I went for a lap and there was something there they could sort it straight away, but I’ve also heard the HSG’s are good for cleaning the tubes out and you are very fertile afterwards. Also the more I read about laps they are more serious and the recovery time can be long, as you said Rosa. I’ll do a bit more research and then make the decision but I’m swaying more to the HSG I think. I’m gonna continue OPKing but BD more this month, well at least start earlier, and I’m definitely knocking the temping on the head.
Thanks for your advice ladies xx
Rosa, this is our 10th month, I’m in the UK so don’t have to pay for it luckily! With it being on the NHS I’ll just see how it goes, he’s probably ok, I just felt a bit like a kid when he dismissed what I’d been doing and that I’d been referred early. Oh I forgot the lap was what you’d had (didn’t realise you’d had an HSG as well) I remember the conversation about how worried you were for it, I just didn’t realise that’s what it was as I knew nothing about fertility investigations/treatments at the time! So sorry you can’t keep your doctor! Sending you big
Crumbs -
at your doc and her knowledge of TTC! My friend who is now pg was told by her doc as she’s got a 28 day cycle she will definitely ovulate on day 14!! Well, turns out the cycle she got pg she got her LH surge on CD10 and if she’d not OPK’d she would’ve missed it! She only DTD twice that month and caught the egg so I do think OPK’s are worth it. Due to my painful intercourse I’m afraid I don’t enjoy it so I’m certainly not BD’ing every other day throughout the cycle, and unless you add some spice to it I think it’s very boring!Mrsmax – totally agree with you about sometimes feeling we know more than them! I know we probably don’t, but they do come out with some funny things sometimes!
Hopeful I totally agree with you. I think if you have a very good sex life then fair enough BD'ing every other day will cover it, but as we don't I don't see the point in forcing myself. For example, I'm nowhere near ovulating at the minute, and know I won't be fertile for about a week, yes I will start trying to BD earlier as I can see his point (sort of), but really any
we have tonight is just not gonna do the job!So I’ve done a bit research on HSG’s and Laps and it appears they can both pick up things that the other can’t! I know if I went for a lap and there was something there they could sort it straight away, but I’ve also heard the HSG’s are good for cleaning the tubes out and you are very fertile afterwards. Also the more I read about laps they are more serious and the recovery time can be long, as you said Rosa. I’ll do a bit more research and then make the decision but I’m swaying more to the HSG I think. I’m gonna continue OPKing but BD more this month, well at least start earlier, and I’m definitely knocking the temping on the head.
Thanks for your advice ladies xx
MsJMouse
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Sorry to hear your appt wasn't great MrsPTTC. As the other ladies have said you want to feel comfortable with your doctor as you will probably see them a few times.
Rosababy - insurance sucks. Sorry to hear that your insurance no longer covers that doc. Does that mean if you stay with the doc you have to pay big out of pocket costs?? I am not completely sure how the american system works but we have medicare (everyone gets this) and health insurance (which you can choose to have) - if you have health insurance, it pays part of your bills and medicare pays part of your bils but if the doc doesn't have a "no gap" agreement with your insurance you can be out of pocket a lot - i had surgery a few years ago and I was out of pocket to the tune of about $10,000 - which hurt a lot as you can imagine.
Rosababy - insurance sucks. Sorry to hear that your insurance no longer covers that doc. Does that mean if you stay with the doc you have to pay big out of pocket costs?? I am not completely sure how the american system works but we have medicare (everyone gets this) and health insurance (which you can choose to have) - if you have health insurance, it pays part of your bills and medicare pays part of your bils but if the doc doesn't have a "no gap" agreement with your insurance you can be out of pocket a lot - i had surgery a few years ago and I was out of pocket to the tune of about $10,000 - which hurt a lot as you can imagine.
hopefulmama2b
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Rosa- Sorry to hear about your insurance situation. I think that this would be a good opportunity to research IVF success rates amongst the FS in your town. I know you weren't thinking you were going this route in the beginning so I'm not sure you looked into that when choosing your doc. Personally I would rather give up a doctor who's personality I love to one who has higher success rates. If it turns out that your former doctor is the one with the good success rates you could always look into what the difference would be for you to continue going to him. Did they totally stop taking your insurance or are they just out of network? Sometimes the cost difference is significant and other times it's not as much as maybe you would imagine. Good luck. I know you're disappointed, but maybe you can find someone else who's just as good if not better.
finallyready
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Hi Ladies! I Just wanted to throw loads of 
your way. I like to check in every now and again to see how everyone is making out.
your way. I like to check in every now and again to see how everyone is making out.
mrsmax
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Hi Finallyready - hope you are doing good.
My whole PMA has come crushing down today. Yesterday was O day and I was so excited feling really positive and then DH said he didnt fancy BDing! He said that would make it 4 nights in a row and the fertility nurse told us every other night. I tried to explain that right now my egg was there waiting and this was the only day of the month that it was, but he wouldnt budge and I didnt want to push the point but I felt so crushed. Why does he take the nurses point and not mine. He just doesnt understand!
I woke up early and got out of bed as I was stll fuming. The atmosphere was bad this morning between us but I feel like I am doing everything - taking vitamins, charting, opking, acupuncture etc and all he needs to do is have bloomin sex 4 times a month!! Grrrr.
Am I being unreasonable (honestly). I am so cross but I dont know what to say to him.
We havent discussed it.
Please give me your advice
My whole PMA has come crushing down today. Yesterday was O day and I was so excited feling really positive and then DH said he didnt fancy BDing! He said that would make it 4 nights in a row and the fertility nurse told us every other night. I tried to explain that right now my egg was there waiting and this was the only day of the month that it was, but he wouldnt budge and I didnt want to push the point but I felt so crushed. Why does he take the nurses point and not mine. He just doesnt understand!
I woke up early and got out of bed as I was stll fuming. The atmosphere was bad this morning between us but I feel like I am doing everything - taking vitamins, charting, opking, acupuncture etc and all he needs to do is have bloomin sex 4 times a month!! Grrrr.
Am I being unreasonable (honestly). I am so cross but I dont know what to say to him.
We havent discussed it.
Please give me your advice
