Early 30's TTC #1

[hakunamatata]

Hey ladies,

Haven't started temping yet. Probably should so I can keep better track of ovulation and whatnot.

Some days I wish I were TTC right this second, but I am glad to wait a little bit longer so I can get settled in my job and save some money.

Hope everyone had a good weekend! FX for you Hopefulmama!

 

[MsJMouse]

Hey ladies,

Haven't started temping yet. Probably should so I can keep better track of ovulation and whatnot.

Some days I wish I were TTC right this second, but I am glad to wait a little bit longer so I can get settled in my job and save some money.

Hope everyone had a good weekend! FX for you Hopefulmama!

I am in two minds about falling pregnant this month - financially it would be better if we didn't as DH will be off Probation by mid July. But at the same time what difference will one month make and it took us 6 mths the first time so I am kinda thinking it will take at least that long again.

It is hard waiting to try. I went off BC in Feb last year but we waited till June to try (also due to financial reasons). I am sure the three months will fly by Hakunamatata and you will be trying before you know it.

 

[Regalpeas]

MsJmouse, I was checking in for the same thing about Soleil. Does anyone talk to her outside bnb?

Mrsmax I read your meltdown post and started to tear up right here at work. I know the feeling I know it all too well. At work and in my family and amongst my friends…so many pregnancies…so much the pain of personal failure. Being happy for them but also feeling the tears in your own soul. Hang in there. What usually helps me is seeing so many people wait here and try for long periods and not give up hope…then finally get pregnant. It supercharges me and keeps me encouraged. Our day will come! Feel better, honey.

Hakuna, 3 mos! Woohoo and the countdown begins. Can’t wait ‘till it’s your time to try too.

To everyone hugs and

 

[Crumbs]

Regalpeas, your post was inspiring. Our day will come!

 

[Dodima1999]

Hi everyone, I know I come on this sporadically but just finding it so hard right now... Still trying. Had 2 IUI's and was told we had a 2% chance of it happening naturally. Started saving for IVF only to have house broken into. Any money saved now has to go pay for an alarm, (insurance will only cover loss or damage) it just seems every month around my ovulation something happens to prevent us from trying..... Between family having nervous breakdowns and coming to live with us, other family marriages breaking up and now our house been burgled, I'm beginning to think it's Gds way of saying to just give up- it'll never happen, face facts you'll never be a Mom.....

 

[hopefulmama2b]

So sorry to hear about that Dodima! I don't think it means to give up. Maybe it hasn't happened because at the moment you have to deal with this stuff and then you'll get pregnant and not have to worry about anyone else, but your little bean. Don't give up hope although we all feel that way from time to time.

 

[rosababy]

Dodima, I'm so sorry to hear about everything that's going on. That's terrible. This does not mean that you're not destined to be a mom, though. Just testing your faith. You can do this! How many iuis will you do before ivf?

Afm, just got back from my hsg. It wasn't too bad. Bad cramping, but nothing like the hysteroscopy and endometrial biopsy I had on Friday. THAT one sucked. As far as the tubes, doc said he THINKS they're fine. The dye went through, but not all of the dye. Some of it pooled in an area that it wasn't supposed to be, so he's not sure why. We might have to do a laproscopy thing (not sure what he said) to see what's up with my tubes. And I stupidly thought this would be my last test.

We go in on Wednesday for a consultation and we'll find out more then. I just want a baby.

 

[Crumbs]

Rosa I'm happy to hear your tests are almost done -- that's a huge hurdle! Congrats!

Dodima, I'm so sorry to hear about everything you've been going through lately. Please don't give up hope

 

[mrsmax]

MsJmouse, I was checking in for the same thing about Soleil. Does anyone talk to her outside bnb?

Mrsmax I read your meltdown post and started to tear up right here at work. I know the feeling I know it all too well. At work and in my family and amongst my friends…so many pregnancies…so much the pain of personal failure. Being happy for them but also feeling the tears in your own soul. Hang in there. What usually helps me is seeing so many people wait here and try for long periods and not give up hope…then finally get pregnant. It supercharges me and keeps me encouraged. Our day will come! Feel better, honey.

Hakuna, 3 mos! Woohoo and the countdown begins. Can’t wait ‘till it’s your time to try too.

To everyone hugs and

Thank you RegalPeas - This place provides so much comfort. Without it I would think I was a total freak for not being able to ttc in the 1st 6 months.

I just pray that we are all blessed with our dream one day soon

 

[mrsmax]

Dodima - massive hugs. 2 IUIs isn't a huge number from what I've read (been reading up on them over the weekend) most specialists say to try at least 4 before moving to IVF. Why do they say you only have a 2% chance? Please, please don't give up hope. Not yet.

Rosa - glad to hear HSG was less traumatic. Interesting what the dr said about the pooling, but it doesn't sound like they are blocked though. Bet you can't wait for the appointment on Wednesday and to be honest, if they do make you do more tests at least it means they are serious about finding out what is wrong and not just palming you off with a treatment you may not need. I really have everything crossed for you.
Also, I have my HSG on Friday so pleased to hear not too awful. Did you go back to work after? I have taken the day off, but not sure if I needed to really.

 

[Dodima1999]

Hi all,
Thanks for the replies.
@ Mrsmax not sure why we've 2% chance doctor said that based on our history that's the chance. I appear to be normal enough but without IVF they won't know what quality my eggs are etc. DH has a lowish count and his little guys are a bit lazy. Doc said 1 more IUI would be 8% successful with IVF being between 30-35% depending on egg quality.

Just having a bad run of it at the moment so have had enough.
None of our family know any of this nor are they any way interested in the whole process (they are aware we are attending fertility but neither parents ask how it's going) they all just seem to want to burden us with their problems.
I actually "joked" about ending it all last week and that got no reaction... Feel like I actually have to take my life for people to wake up and notice that we're finding life very difficult at the moment....

 

[mrsmax]

Hi all,
Thanks for the replies.
@ Mrsmax not sure why we've 2% chance doctor said that based on our history that's the chance. I appear to be normal enough but without IVF they won't know what quality my eggs are etc. DH has a lowish count and his little guys are a bit lazy. Doc said 1 more IUI would be 8% successful with IVF being between 30-35% depending on egg quality.

Just having a bad run of it at the moment so have had enough.
None of our family know any of this nor are they any way interested in the whole process (they are aware we are attending fertility but neither parents ask how it's going) they all just seem to want to burden us with their problems.
I actually "joked" about ending it all last week and that got no reaction... Feel like I actually have to take my life for people to wake up and notice that we're finding life very difficult at the moment....

Dodima Please never ever feel like that. I know how horrid it is to unsupportive people around you during this time - my MIL is truely horrible. She never liked me and seems to be loving this difficult time for us. She upset me so much this wkend that I have told DH I dont want to see her until I am in my second trimester (cause I will get preggo!!) cause she upsets me and stresses me so much. They never mention what we are going through, but MIL told DH and I how easy our life is, how we have no clue what it is like to get up everyday at 5am to feed a baby etc etc and how hard SIL has it with 2 kids. So hurtful. We both have stressful jobs and work our arses off - it's not like we laze around the house all day. I am a lawyer for goodness sake - I work hard. SIL is a stay at home mum - which is such a privilege, but MIL made out like we should feel sorry for her!! Argh - what I would give to haveto get up at 4am to feed a baby!! She even made a sarcastic comment to my mum (who had no grandkids) about having no grandchildren.

So I do know a bit what it is like for the people around you not to care, but they are not the important ones - you, dh and your baby to be are all that matters.

 

[MsJMouse]

Rosababy - Glad to hear monday's test wasn't as horrible. GL with your results tomorrow.

MrsMax - good luck with your test on Friday. Hopefully it means you are on your way to some answers also.

Dodima1999 - sorry to hear what a horrible time you are having at the moment. A break in is a horrible thing to have to deal, that feeling of personal violation. Then to top it off your family being unsupportive of you TTC. Please don't think that the only way anyone will notice is if you aren't there anymore, it is not true. As mrsmax said - they are not the important ones, you, DH and your baby are the ones who really count.

 

[rosababy]

dodima and mrsmax, I'm sorry you're feeling so down. At least you have us to talk to! Is there anyone, friends, coworkers, who know about your ttc struggle that you can talk to? I've noticed that the more I talk about it, the more I find out about people who have struggled, and I never knew about it. It makes me feel better knowing that a lot of people go through this, they just don't announce it. Hang in there...we'll all get there together.

 

[rosababy]

Rosa - glad to hear HSG was less traumatic. Interesting what the dr said about the pooling, but it doesn't sound like they are blocked though. Bet you can't wait for the appointment on Wednesday and to be honest, if they do make you do more tests at least it means they are serious about finding out what is wrong and not just palming you off with a treatment you may not need. I really have everything crossed for you.
Also, I have my HSG on Friday so pleased to hear not too awful. Did you go back to work after? I have taken the day off, but not sure if I needed to really.

No, it doesn't sound like they're blocked, but I just wonder why all the dye didn't go through? Hopefully the doc can find some answers. He seems like the "we'll figure this out" kind of guy, and I like that. I can't WAIT for Wednesday! I'm happy everything is moving so quickly.

Hsg is not too bad. I took 800 mg of advil before I went, and I remembered to BREATHE during the process. Deep, slow breathing. It's like af cramps times 100, but the good news is, it only lasts for about 5-8 seconds. I did not go back to work, but only because I had it done at the end of the work day. I totally could have gone back, because I felt completely find afterwards. I found the hysteroscopy and endometrial biopsy WAY worse.

 

[hopefulmama2b]

Rosa- Glad the test went better than last week and I hope you have a good appointment tomorrow.

MrsMax- still waiting for your journal... And good luck on Friday!! I'm sure you're nervous, but I hope it brings insight or at least rules out the tube issue.

 

[Soleil Breeze]

So here I am. No longer pregnant. Baby left me on Saturday. I looked down and there he was, a perfect little being in a sac. I keep thinking I am over it and then I just cry randomly. In restaurants. At the office. Sitting on the couch. I suppose it's etched in the back of my mind. It's been an ordeal.

I know that I knew this was coming and that I've had "weeks" of glum news, but I wasn't prepared to see baby. I wasn't prepared to have to "dispose" of the being that was in me for all those weeks and who I wanted - and still want - so badly.

I can't even begin to describe how bad this has been.

But, yeah, I'm no longer pregnant.

I became an Aunt today, though. I've seen some photos and she seems like a beautiful little girl. Of course, I take one look at the photos and there comes the burst of tears. I am glad that I am far away from them right now. They would think I am nuts. They don't know my pregnancy/miscarriage story. I'm just thankful I didn't miscarry on the day she was born. That would have been really tough.

Anyway. Yeah. There's not much else to say right now. Wait! Yes, congratulations to SM First! I wish you love and health and a beautiful sticky bean! Rosa...I hope everything comes out well with the tests; I will pray for you. Everyone else - BFP wishes and peace...

Sorry. Crying again. I thought that writing this was going to be easier. It's just making my head hurt.

All right. I have to go. Meeting DH for dinner and I need to get my face in order.

Love to you all.

xx

 

[SMFirst]

oh Soleil - I'm so sorry. We are all here to lean on when you need. And certainly get all the support you need from your DH as well. And make sure he talks things out too, as he'll be hurting too I'm sure.

 

[hopefulmama2b]

Oh god, Soliel. I'm so sorry that you have to experience this. Just know you are not alone. Like I said before you are welcome to email me anytime you just want to vent and talk about how unfair life is. Thinking of you and I hope you begin to heal soon. Did you take the sac and baby to the doctor for genetic testing? I know they usually want you to wait until it's a recurring problem, but I just think that's unfair. I know you are probably wanting an answer to the why.

 

[hakunamatata]

Oh Soleil. Honey. {{{{{hugs}}}}}