Elimination Communication Support Thread II

[SarahBear]

Hello,

Rather can posting in the old thread, I thought I'd start fresh.

This is a thread where we can support each other with our ECing, share successes or misses, ask for ideas/tips/advice, share resources etc.

I'll start of by telling you a bit about my ECing journey(s). I have a 2.5 year old with theme I started EC at 3 or 4 days old. We had a lot of ups and downs with it and honestly still do. She has taught me to be much more relaxed with EC than I was when she was a baby. I now have a 3.5 week and and have been working on getting started with a more relaxed approach. I started later for a number of reasons and took a break already. Today was a particularly good day and I even caught a pee in the middle of writing this post. Will be interesting to see how this EC journey goes!

Share your stories, tips, frustrations, and questions! I'm hoping there are enough of us here for this to be helpful.

 

[SarahBear]

My 2.5 year old has been terrible with the potty lately... Not sure it's even relevant to this thread at this point though because of her age. Anyway... Not seeing much interest in this thread, but it's here if needed!

 

[SarahBear]

My 2.5 year old has been terrible with the potty lately... Not sure it's even relevant to this thread at this point though because of her age. Anyway... Not seeing much interest in this thread, but it's here if needed!

 

[pinkpassion]

This is interesting.. I've never heard of this but I do everything else so why not.. although DD is 10 months is that ok?

 

[SarahBear]

There is a sensitive period before 4 to 6 months where it's easier, but it can be started with an older baby as well. It does change things a bit. Books would be your best resource for getting started as they can give you information about getting started with an older baby, give you tips on signals to look for and give you stories to give you a realistic picture of what to expect.

I find that online, the information on how to go about getting started is a lot less complete. I tried looking for info in order to refresh my memory before getting started with my second, but didn't have much luck finding the sort of info I know I read in books with my first. In your local Library, try searching for key terms such as "elimination communication" as well as "infant potty training" and diaper free baby." Online, stories seem to be less representative of reality as well. Sure your baby might be done with diapers by a year... Or you could have more of a challenge like my first who is 2.5 and refusing the potty and having her pants changed multiple times a day... Thanks to EC, she has been capable of using the potty for quite some time... It's her willingness that is lacking.

 

[Snufflepop]

Following! Just found out I am pregnant with no 2. We accidently stumbled across EC but didn't start with my dd until she was around 6 months. Given how well she has done I would consider starting earlier with the new baby.

 

[SarahBear]

Excellent! What I found getting started with Leo was that between him getting a cold early on and having people visit, we didn't get started right away and took a break shortly after getting started, yet simply having the intention of doing EC helped the process. This time around I'm trying to be more relaxed and to be willing to back off sooner than I did with Violet.

 

[SarahBear]

One thing to know going in is it's not about early training. My 2.5 year old asked for the potty 50% of the time at 14 months, 100% of the time at 18 months ( OK, maybe not quite 100%, but pretty darn close), and was back in diapers at 20-23 months and I've just put her back in because she's using peeing on the floor to defy and test limits. Bleh! I wouldn't change my decision about EC though... As can be seen by my decision to use EC with my son. I did learn some lessons with my daughter though. For example, it's better to relax and back off than to push too hard. Definitely needed to RELAX with Violet. I have a feeling Leo will be easier, but we'll see. I already see differences between the two. With Violet, a lot of the catches were more a result of how much she went rather than actual communication. Leo doesn't go during or immediately after nursing the way Violet did, so I have to go much more on cues than on timing. Also, Leo is much more bothered by a wet diaper than Violet was, so I can catch that easier. He's also less bothered by diaper changes than Violet was. He may (or may not) be easier than Violet, but only time will tell!

 

[HopefulEm]

Hi SarahBear, I've been doing EC with my daughter since I found out about it just before she turned 6 months (she's now 14 months).

I agree with you that the info out there on the web is a bit misleading. I've read babies in China who were traditionally raised doing EC are potty trained by a year, but I wonder if that's either a biased statistic, or if perhaps the conditions are different enough. I've run into plenty of mothers at this point who confirm it doesn't always work that way.

DD has her good days, and her not-so-good days, but I'm still happy we've done EC with her. I feel like it's teaching her the right thing. She's understood about using the potty when she's wanted it since only a couple months after we started, and she doesn't get nappy rash anymore. Plus rarely cleaning a poo mess has been a big perk. It's also cut back on our laundry, and when we're out and about, we can stay out much longer on few nappies since she tends to hold it and wait for the potty when we're out of the house!

Anyways, there needs to be more education and support on this topic in my opinion, so thanks for starting this thread.

 

[HopefulEm]

So, I was wondering about other's methods in this area, both for at home and out and about.

For us, we have two Baby Bjorn Smart Potties, one for upstairs, one for down. At home my DD wears just the absorbent layer of her two part nappy system. This way if we have a miss, most of it is contained, but it's still easy to snap on and off and it's more breathable for her.

When we're going out, I put one of her potties in my backpack, as well as a few of the usual nappy supplies. As for what DD wears out, I keep her solely in dresses/skirts for easy access, and if it's cold I put leg warmers on her rather than tights. Then finally I'll put her waterproof layer over her nappy just in case she were to pee while in her wrap, and to not make people out and about nervous.

 

[SarahBear]

At home, we use disposables at night and cloth with covers most of the rest of the time. We don't do anything unconventional. While out, we use disposables, although we did a lot of cloth while out when my daughter was a baby. We tend to have a potty in the car, but potty over public toilet using the classic EC hold. My husband has even taken our daughter to the urinal. I find it difficult to aim a boy over a regular toilet though.

 

[Storked]

Following this thread. I want to try EC with my next kids.

 

[fatandlumpy]

My Mum is Chinese and she virtually raised my nephew. He was potty trained by 12months as she did what is now referred to as EC. (This was in the 1990's). Apparently I was as well and my sister too (1970's). My OH is a very traditional Scot and so EC was completely rejected off hand. I have very little choice in the matter as I work full time and the OH is the stay-at-home parent.

Our bundle of joy is now nearly 2 and tells us that his nappy is full. He is soooooooo ready for potty training, but OH wants to by-pass and proceed straight to the loo. I am so frustrated. This is just to say that EC does work, it works well and so well done for all those who are brave enough to go against your cultural norms. I, for one, am jealous.

 

[SarahBear]

Sorry to hear your situation Fatandlumpy. My husband is also a stay-at-home dad and wasn't convinced originally, but I started doing it regardless. He saw that it was working and began doing it. Part of why it worked so much better for your mom than for my family was likely her experience, knowledge, and cultural support. It is still well worth doing even if you don't have those things.

We're actually discussing conventional potty training regarding my daughter because she went through a toilet refusal stage and is in diapers again.

fatandlumpy, maybe if you have a second, you could still try doing it yourself and perhaps your husband may jump on board? Even if he doesn't, at least YOU could be meeting your baby's toileting needs as they arise.

 

[caringo]

Hello! I am glad to find this thread...I am 23 weeks with my first and heard about EC not long after conceiving and found it very interesting...I want to give it a shot, but haven't found anyone who has actually done it! Good to know there are people in the US/UK trying it ��

 

[treeroot]

I'd also like to give it a try.
LO is 2 1/2 months now and I was planning on trying some diaper free time because I have no clue as to his signals.

My apprehensions are the amount of work involved; I don't want to feel stressed about it.

I was also wondering about the EC hold. Back to tummy? Are there difficulties making the transition to sitting on a toilet? i.e. baby will lose the association?

 

[HopefulEm]

I'd also like to give it a try.
LO is 2 1/2 months now and I was planning on trying some diaper free time because I have no clue as to his signals.

My apprehensions are the amount of work involved; I don't want to feel stressed about it.

I was also wondering about the EC hold. Back to tummy? Are there difficulties making the transition to sitting on a toilet? i.e. baby will lose the association?

For starting EC, we found having DD in cloth nappies without the waterproof layer was a good compromise to be able to track when she'd peed without so much mess.

As far as associations, when I first started my daughter out I would actually just put her in the bathtub, but she transitioned quite nicely to the potty when we bought it. Making the pee noise helped I think, and of course timing.

There are multiple EC holds but the standard one is as you described, baby's back to your tummy, your arm under their knees.

 

[treeroot]

For starting EC, we found having DD in cloth nappies without the waterproof layer was a good compromise to be able to track when she'd peed without so much mess.

As far as associations, when I first started my daughter out I would actually just put her in the bathtub, but she transitioned quite nicely to the potty when we bought it. Making the pee noise helped I think, and of course timing.

There are multiple EC holds but the standard one is as you described, baby's back to your tummy, your arm under their knees.

Unfortunately our cloth diapers use the insert system, which I am really liking, but the shell has to be used with them.
I was just going to lay him on an insert a few times throughout the day and see...er..what I can see.

Lol, he did pee in the tub once, and I immediately made the psss noise

 

[bumphope]

Great thread here - great to know of people doing this

We have only just heard about ec, our lg is just 1, and we have just started giving it a go with the aim of just catching poos, yesterday. We put her on the potty when she started straining for a poo, and by the time she needed a third poo, she was waving at the potty when she wanted to go (very funny and cute). She's had a bit of a dodgy tum the last few days, which is great for practicing pooing on the potty!!

That same first day she started coming up to me with a slightly worried look on her face and saying 'poo', so I put her on and she either weed or didn't do anything and when I felt her nappy she had clearly just gone.

We are very much being led by her on this - we are amazed at how much control she clearly has, and how much she understands so young. It's the total opposite to what conventional wisdom says!

We've decided to put her on the potty-
When she strains for a poo, and still put her on if we miss
If she asks to go and it's not really awkward to get her to the potty (ie in the car or in the middle of the supermarket etc)
At each nappy change
Before we leave the house or wherever we are and as soon as arrive

So this morning, day 2, she didn't ask to go when she woke up so we didn't offer her the potty, my husband took her downstairs to watch TV (I don't 'do' before 7am!!) and came charging back up to put her on the potty a little while later when she'd said 'poo' - it was too late, but that's ok. Lesson one, be prepared!
Then offered her the potty when we got her dressed for the day, she went
I then missed her waving at the potty during breakfast so missed another poo
I put her on before we took the dog out, nothing
She said 'poo' when we were out, but I couldn't do anything, so had to say good girl and kept walking
Got home, took her out the wrap and put her straight on the potty - she went straight for a wee and still had a dry nappy

I'm amazed. I think we might be able to do this. I'm just worried about doing it only when it's convenient - do you more experienced ec-ers think that's ok?

X

 

[SarahBear]

Great thread here - great to know of people doing this

We have only just heard about ec, our lg is just 1, and we have just started giving it a go with the aim of just catching poos, yesterday. We put her on the potty when she started straining for a poo, and by the time she needed a third poo, she was waving at the potty when she wanted to go (very funny and cute). She's had a bit of a dodgy tum the last few days, which is great for practicing pooing on the potty!!

That same first day she started coming up to me with a slightly worried look on her face and saying 'poo', so I put her on and she either weed or didn't do anything and when I felt her nappy she had clearly just gone.

We are very much being led by her on this - we are amazed at how much control she clearly has, and how much she understands so young. It's the total opposite to what conventional wisdom says!

We've decided to put her on the potty-
When she strains for a poo, and still put her on if we miss
If she asks to go and it's not really awkward to get her to the potty (ie in the car or in the middle of the supermarket etc)
At each nappy change
Before we leave the house or wherever we are and as soon as arrive

So this morning, day 2, she didn't ask to go when she woke up so we didn't offer her the potty, my husband took her downstairs to watch TV (I don't 'do' before 7am!!) and came charging back up to put her on the potty a little while later when she'd said 'poo' - it was too late, but that's ok. Lesson one, be prepared!
Then offered her the potty when we got her dressed for the day, she went
I then missed her waving at the potty during breakfast so missed another poo
I put her on before we took the dog out, nothing
She said 'poo' when we were out, but I couldn't do anything, so had to say good girl and kept walking
Got home, took her out the wrap and put her straight on the potty - she went straight for a wee and still had a dry nappy

I'm amazed. I think we might be able to do this. I'm just worried about doing it only when it's convenient - do you more experienced ec-ers think that's ok?

X

Sounds like things are going quite well for you, congrats! In terms of only doing it when convenient, I think it's important to have a level of consistency. For example, if you only do it at home, but not when out, that's a level of consistency and your daughter may pick up on the pattern. When it's not consistent though, it may be more confusing. Is there anything in particular that makes it feel like doing it at a super market or in the car would be any harder? If you can get her to a public restroom, you have a chance of getting there in time to EC her and if you're in a car, you can have a potty with you and pull over when possible. As far as experience goes, I'm only on my second baby and I'm more relaxed about it than with my first, but I still EC when out and about (If I can and it won't get me funny looks) and I EC in the car as well.