Elimination Communication Support Thread

[Sam Pearson]

Hi everyone!

My 14mo DD has been EC'd since 2.5 months (daytime only), and we're at the point now where all the poops go in the potty (since 8 months), but we still miss up to half the pees every day. She just pees so often still! In the mornings I take her every 25 minutes or we have a wet diaper. I can get away with taking her a little less often in the evening (every 30-40 minute). I just really thought by now I wouldn't have to take her so often. is this normal? is there anything I can do to get her to go a little longer between pees? thanks!

Hi Serenas_song, I think it's completely normal for her age. I've ECed 3 of mine and EC two friends babies who I look after sometimes. Of course, there is variation between babies and also variation day to day depending on if bub is drinking more but it takes roughly 4 months from beginning ECing until a baby is beginning to have good bladder control. Add to that the fact that different babies will have different size bladders due to genetics. Also, at times an ECed baby or her age, since they are developing bladder control, might simply choose to wee more frequently. By around 1yo mine were going every 3-4 hours unless of course they were playing with water in which case all bets were off. Try to focus on the communication part rather than counting the time between wees or counting the hits and misses. You can't force things but that communication encourages awareness and understanding and is just one more way you are bonding with your baby.

 

[readyORnot]

Also, you've reminded me about something I posted in my journal 2 weeks ago but never brought it in here (sorry, it's a bit long):

Spoiler

Just felt like writing about my EC experience so far in case anyone might be interested in hearing it. I think we had a breakthrough the other day, but the timing couldn't have been worse.
Just to summarise where we are with it, we've been going nappy free during the day (at home only), and sometimes he was wearing nothing at all from the waist down, and sometimes we had him in some 0-3 month shorts or tiny trousers. They fit him perfectly without a nappy!
It's been weeks now since we had any pooey nappies. Literally all his poos are now in the toilet or potty. And even before that we had no more than one or two misses a week.
The main issue was wees. Ever since he was born, he's been able to do 5 or 6 tiny wees in the space of 45 minutes (especially in the morning), and short of offering him the potty every 5 minutes, there was no way of catching them all. So on a typical nappy-free day it meant that we would have him playing on a towel sometimes, which would catch a couple of wees a day, and we would have at least one or two wees to clean up off the tile floor, he would probably end up with at least one pair of wet shorts, and either my husband or myself would get peed on at least once.
My strategy was to offer him the potty every half an hour in the mornings, and then every hour in the afternoons regardless of how many misses we got. Also after every nap or feed. About half the time I offered him the potty he would pee, and the other times if he didn't pee I would just offer him again after 5 minutes, and then 5 minutes after that and usually by the 3rd offering he would go ahead and pee.
Anyway, I tried to be really consistent about it and suddenly one day (last Monday or Tuesday) we suddenly had a day with only one wee-wee miss! And the next day and the next day! I couldn't believe it! It may not sound like anything special but it was literally as if something had suddenly clicked into place!

Unfortunately though, since Friday we've been travelling and staying in other people's houses, so it hasn't been possible for me to go nappy-free or to be as consistent with offering the potty. so I hope we won't have a little regression. But the good news is that consistency really pays off and I'm so pleased about that! And we're still catching all his poos in the toilet despite the fact he's back in nappies full-time! And every time I've offered him the toilet (for a wee), he's done a wee!

 

[vaniilla]

I just found this thread! we started EC with lo today - much older than the standard age but we just kept putting it off and here we are now

 

[jcg0506]

Hello gals! I haven't been on in quite a while. Hope everyone is doing well. Things have been pretty good here, esp. with pees; we've had a quite a few dry days. Poops are another story. I wish we were like the pp that has gotten to the point where all poops go in the potty. We had several months like this but ever since he started crawling we've had problems with poops. He's just so quick, we don't get much of a warning signal. We have another one on the way, due in about two and a half months, so I'd really like to get no.1 finished up soon. He'll be 18 months when the new baby arrives, and I don't really fancy ECing two at one time. We certainly don't want to have to buy more cloth diapers so were working to get him into trainers full time during the day. I've made a bunch from a pattern someone posted a while back. Our main setback is that he still doesn't signal (never has really). He's been acquiring more signs lately but not talking much so were trying to reinforce the potty sign, hoping he'll use it to tell us when he needs to pee. Has anyone out there who has had a child successfully graduate have any suggestions for helping us through the last few months, or especially in how to encourage more signaling?

 

[mumnbean]

Hi jcg. We went through something similar, but I wasn't able to get my dd into undies regularly until she turned 2... so not a success story here sorry!

BUT- I have my FIL and mum watch my dd regularly through the week and I would get back from work and they would have put her in cloth nappies or disposable pull ups by the time I got back Not happy Jan! I think it was giving very mixed messages about when it was ok/expected to wet herself and when she had to go to the toilet.

I think the best idea might be to try and get him "scheduled" into his toilet visits. e.g. before each meal or event during the day or at certain o'clock times. That way it becomes predictable for your son to expect to evacuate himself. Also regulate fluid intake so it works for him.

It can get a bit tricky with 2, but at worst case I have put one on the potty and one on the toilet at the same time and entertaining them both with songs and/or stories... the things we do!

 

[MommyJogger]

When did those who use signs start teaching signing? DS doesn't really have what I would call dexterity yet... more wild flailing. Should I choose a sign and make it to him before desperately whisking him to the toilet? What are the signs you use? Do you have different ones for poop and pee or just one sign for potty?

 

[readyORnot]

I started signing with Angelo when he was a couple of months old. So far he only does the sign for milk, but I use one sign for potty, I didn't bother with a different one for pee or poop. I probably will though at some point. If I don't have time to sign "potty" before I take him I just use the sign while he's in situ whilst I'm talking to him about it.

 

[SerenityNow]

I think we started using the sign for potty around 8 or 10 mo. He was already making the cueing sound on his own to tell us he needed to go before be learned the sign and now he does both.

 

[MommyJogger]

What cueing sound/sign do you guys use?

 

[SerenityNow]

The cueing sound we use is hissing like a snake and the sign holding the hand up to about eye level forming the the ASL letter 't' and shaking back and forth.

It is helpful for him to know the sign for potty because he can tell me that he needs to go while he is nursing. That is he only time I can think of that he signs it without "saying" it.

 

[xSin]

Been a rough past week... Not sure why but Aria seems to have stopped cuing altogether that she needs to go "before" she goes... just flips out once she's wet! >.<

She unfortunately did the same thing with a massive poop last night. She's only pooing once every 4-5 days which from what I've read is okay as long as the poo itself is of a good texture (apparently constipated has to do with hard stools according to Dr. Google) ...the downside of this means that her poos are MASSIVE!

Any ideas to encourage her to poo more often? I mean she farts like a beast... seems to have mastered getting it right in my face when I'm putting her into a fresh diaper. I'm going to keep my fingers crossed its just a phase. I have still been putting her on the toilet when changing her in the hopes that she makes the association but I'm not sure if I should keep doing this when she's "already gone" -- I don't want her to associate the toilet with "not going" either you know?

 

[Sam Pearson]

You could try massaging underneath her big toes - there is a reflex point there that can help get things moving.

 

[xSin]

Ahh perfect!!! I wonder if that's what caused the "surprise" second poo because I was playing with her feet, totally didnt even think of reflexology, will try this out and hopefully things get better.

Thank you!!!

 

[SerenityNow]

I found that skin to skin contact was really helpful for getting back in synch with each other. It gets the oxytocin flowing. Try having a bath and a nap together or something.

 

[xSin]

I really think the toe trick worked!!! Yesterday I decided to give it a try and a few hours after a small "foot massage" she pooed again! Yay!!!

We do have lots of skin to skin through the day & night while feeding.

 

[Sam Pearson]

Also a warm bath can get things going.

 

[cat_reversing]

Hi all, have been interested in this from before i got pregnant with lo but haven't made time for it although i'd like to do an observation soon.
One thing i wanted to ask about is if anyone developed intuitive feelings about when lo needed to go or whether it's just by watcching for cues or likely times. I was ready up on diaper free baby website and it says about having sudden thoughts that baby needs to go or having a warm wet feeling over your lap even though baby is dry. I swear this morning i had a warm feeling over my chest and just felt that lo had done a poo, i wan't in the same room as her at the time and when i asked oh if she did a poo around a certain time she had.

 

[readyORnot]

hi cat_reversing! I usually know when my LO is about to go, and when my husband asks how I knew I can't explain it. Probably subconsciously picking up subtle cues from baby.

 

[xSin]

Hi everyone!!!

Just wanted to share a VERY important (to me at least) story that I HOPE will help you all hold onto hope during the "down" times of EC'ing!!!

This past week my LO went off her food around Wednesday when I went to visit my mum... we haven't been doing a "ton" of EC'ing since her cues have totally changed it seems since she got mobile and she's learned how to make a whole variety of new sounds. I figured new scenery however on Friday morning she vomited a LOT and when we took her in to the clinic she was running a fever of 102.5

They needed a urine sample, and being stressed out I didn't even think about it and they used a device called a U-bag which is basically a bag taped over her lady bits. I used EC'ing cues from our earlier days ("sssss" noises and holding her in the position over the sink even though its been a LONG time since she's been held or near a sink for doing her business) -- She did do a little piddle and then the results came back and basically there were trace amounts of blood in her urine and her ketones were high. With the fever and vomiting the doctor at the clinic wanted to consult with a pediatrician and told us he'd be in touch, in the meantime we were to go get infant gravol suppositories (she'd already been given half of one) and Tylenol for her fever.

The phone call came in and after consulting with the Ped at Children's Hospital we were being sent to the local Hospital to get a catheter done since the U-bag apparently has a tendency to "sometimes give false positives" and the only way to get a clear sample with a baby of only 11mo, was with a catheter. I BAWLED because I knew she hadn't liked the U-bag, and I knew the catheter was probably going to be worse.

During our very long wait at the hospital I saw an older kid get a bowl of sorts and his parents were told to get him to pee in that etc etc. After some time to consider things it clicked, I knew they were going to want their own urine sample before even considering a catheter, (they'd already tried to U-bag my LO again which I'd refused because she had NOT been pleased when they yanked the tape off her lady bits the first time) I went up to the nurses station and asked for one of those bowls.

I DID IT!

We managed to avoid a VERY stressful (both for her and for me) scenario, simply by knowing HOW to EC. I sat her on my lap with her diaper off and the bowl basin between my legs and after a while she did a rather large pee.

I just wanted to share my happy news, the benefits of EC'ing extend beyond the every day and into the realm of the scary stressful situations and they work to ease stress and increase safety for LO's.

Just kicking myself for not having thought of it the first time around.

 

[readyORnot]

glad to hear that you managed to use EC to ease a stressful situation xSin, apart from that I hope everything's okay with LO