Entering the world of Assisted Conception...like it or not...

[Hiker1]

Hi Miranda! Thank you for joining the conversation and for your insight especially. Like smille, I also feel a bit of relief handing things over to the doctors...but also very afraid for the prospect that it won't work in the end. I guess I need to prepare for the worst but how does one find a sense of normalcy or complacency(?) at the prospect of possibly this not working with the same prospect that one can also (and very much wants to) have a child? We're not talking about going out to dinner or staying in one night! Haha hope that analogy makes sense...
So I'm encouraged to read that fsh isn't everything. I got an electronic chart result from Saturdays bloodwork...my AMH is 0.5. So of course I start googling (the bad thing about receiving test results prior to talking to the doctor! ) and find that that is considered low/very low ovarian function as well. Just confirms something is up with mine. So frustrating. Why? How at a healthy 34 years old are my ovaries sucking so bad?? I want to remain optimistic...might be easier to do if we didn't have these facts in front of me.

On a separate note, I met with my bosses today to tell them how in the near future I'll be missing quite a bit of work. I really didnt want to say why ad I am a very private person especially about this, but wound up bursting into tears and told them. Actually I think it's better they know the real reason and that I'm not trying to pull something (and that I'm not dying) so I am hopeful they will be flexibile when I have to go in for all the ultrasounds and inseminations etc. They were both very supportive and kind which was great.

Today is 12 dpo...not even hoping one bit that there's even a chance we conceived this month ..

 

[Smille24]

I'm glad your talk with your bosses went well. I hope they work with you during this time. My dh is very worried about having to miss work, but I can't do this without him.

I try not to look up bloodwork results bc google can be evil and filled with false information. I'd wait to talk to the dr b4 reacting. It's hard to accept that this is how we have to conceive, but once we are all pregnant none of it will matter anymore. When is your af due?

 

[miranda007]

Lauren I totally understand your frustration and I've been there. It also sucks when everyone else around you gets pregnant at the drop of a hat. And you feel like 34 is old. But it's not!! Not when you're seeing fertility dr's you still have time on your side. They're used to seeing people in their 40's etc.
Yeah Google can be your worst friend sometimes! Wait till you see your fertility dr they will have an answer. I know AMH just tells you how many you have - it doesn't tell you about quality. My GP told me don't get too excited because you could have a high number but it doesn't tell you about quality and the quality could be poor. What I'm trying to say is - it might not be bad news. When is your appointment?
I'm sure there's an explanation.
Obviously your bosses know to keep it absolutely private. It will be easier if they know so you don't have to lie.
Yeah I've been there - right before we started IVF I wanted so badly to be pregnant so we didn't have to go through it. I was super nervous -I shouldn't have been. When the nurse explained all the stuff and she showed me the injection pen I burst into tears! Lol. It's really not that bad - at all. My husband did them and I looked away - but I could hardly feel them! Honestly! And the drugs they give you for egg collection! Makes the whole process worthwhile lol!!
My period is due soon - but there's still that tiny voice in my head that hopes I'm pregnant. Which is crazy - because they had to investigate and take out a polyp that was in there (it can act like a contraceptive inside) and that was day 5 and we weren't allowed to have sex until 10 days after. So the night before th 10 days was up I thought ohhh maybe we should because then we'll just catch ovulation. It's so silly the way the mind works!!

 

[Hiker1]

Smille - hopefully your husband wont have to take off too much time. At least at my clinic, it seems like the only time mine will have to go in is once a month for his "deposit" The rest will be me going in for multiple ultrasounds, inseminations, etc. And my AF is due Thursday. It took another dip today below the coverline, so I'm sure it's almost here. Well in a way I'm anxious to start the process so that hopefully something will finally happen! Yes, like you said, once we have our little ones it will all be worth it. I wish I had a crystal ball to tell me, yes, it's going to work - hang in there - but we don't. I can't remember - did you tell me how long you've been ttc prior to seeing the fertility doctor?

Miranda - thanks so much for your advise. It's really comforting having you here a bit ahead of us reassuring us that we'll be fine. This month were you not given any fertility drugs? So you have some embryos ready? When will they try to implant them in you? And once they are implanted, is that when you get pregnant? Do you have to pick how many to try? Sorry I don't understand the whole IVF process... Also if you dont mind me asking how old are you?

 

[miranda007]

Hey! Yeah IVF takes a bit to get used to - my best friend had gone through it a year before (her husband who is a lot older had his tubes tied so that's what they went though it - they used frozen sperm).
Another friend who had PCOS ovaries said she just thought of IVF like any other thing she had to go and see a dr for. Like when she hurt her arm she had to do this and this - she said so I thought of it like that. In the beginning i thought I'd feel a bit poked and prodded - but I didn't - everyone at my clinic was really nice.
I was 35 when I saw the fertility dr in April last year (just turned 36) - that's when we got husband's sperm results back - then two months where we did a second test to confirm we needed IVF. Then she thought she saw a polyp so we had that looked at. She didn't see one. Then she wanted us to try naturally for two months.. Then in August we did a cycle and got 3.. Then we wanted to do another cycle to get a few more in the bank. Then a month's break and then a cycle when we got cancelled because there wasn't enough there (I didn't pay just a pain of 10 days of injections for nothing - for some reason it was the way my ovaries rrposnded that month - they said sometimes it just happens!) then another cycle where we got another 3 blah blah. Long damn road!
Our Dr recommended we do the pre genetic screening that ups your odds a lot. Think for an untested embryo it's 30% (for my age) and then jumps to 65/70%. It's expensive here in Oz to do the genetic testing but hey it's more expensive to put one in. At the end of day 5 we had 4 to test (for both cycles) and got 3 back both cycles. So we have 6. Anyway, the genetics guy who gave us our results said we were really lucky to have that many come back. That they were all awesome looking under the microscope. I do eat extremely healthily - most of the time! and have for a while) because I did a lot of research so I can't help but think that really helped. I'll put what I did, if u like, on another message.
Lauren - there are some advantages to IVF - hopefully you can get a few extras to put in the freezer - so to get pregnant a second time (when you're a bit older) it's a bit easier. I liked the idea of snapping my age in time with my embryo's in the freezer. A lot of my friends who have fallen pregnant naturally can't get pregnant a second time.
Another thing my dr told me, was just to relax - she said "you'll have the family that you want you just might need a little help". So I tried to keep that in mind.

 

[Smille24]

Smille - hopefully your husband wont have to take off too much time. At least at my clinic, it seems like the only time mine will have to go in is once a month for his "deposit" The rest will be me going in for multiple ultrasounds, inseminations, etc. And my AF is due Thursday. It took another dip today below the coverline, so I'm sure it's almost here. Well in a way I'm anxious to start the process so that hopefully something will finally happen! Yes, like you said, once we have our little ones it will all be worth it. I wish I had a crystal ball to tell me, yes, it's going to work - hang in there - but we don't. I can't remember - did you tell me how long you've been ttc prior to seeing the fertility doctor?

Miranda - thanks so much for your advise. It's really comforting having you here a bit ahead of us reassuring us that we'll be fine. This month were you not given any fertility drugs? So you have some embryos ready? When will they try to implant them in you? And once they are implanted, is that when you get pregnant? Do you have to pick how many to try? Sorry I don't understand the whole IVF process... Also if you dont mind me asking how old are you?

He only has to go in once too, but getting time off of work or rearranging his schedule can be difficult. He'll make it work somehow. We've been ttc for over 2 yrs. I'm cd 8 and have had fertile cm and cramps so hopefully it'll be soon!

 

[Hiker1]

Hi Miranda,
I really like your analogy of thinking about it like any other doctor. When you have an injury or other problem, you go to the doctor to try to make it better. It's just a lot mentally and emotionally to grasp onto, and I'm trying very hard to come to terms with it and toughen up. Knowing that we still may have a very long road ahead, I need to be tough (and patient) to take it!! I like your idea of saving some embryos. In fact my husband and I have already talked about it. Considering my numbers don't sound great, I can't imagine our chances getting any better in a few years. I wanted to ask the clinic about that but then didn't want to count our chickens before even one has hatched! (boy that was an appropriate cliche if there ever was one!!) But if we get to the point of IVF, I am definitely asking if we can have some on reserve. It would be wonderful to have several children, if that is at all possible...So you have 6 eggs - when will they try to implant them? How many do they put in at a time? You sound so close! I hope you get pregnant soon!!

Smille, I hope your hubby's work can be understanding. Has he spoken to his boss about what's going on?

Are you done with your Chlomid? how did it go for you? Sounds like ov is getting close! How will you know? Let me know what the first IUI is like!!

I got my AF today. I was actually a bit happy - now we can start this new journey. I called the clinic but it was late in the afternoon when it started, so they were closed. I guess they'll tell me if they consider today my official Day 1, or if tomorrow will be. Either way, on Day 3 I am supposed to go in for my initial ultrasound and start femara that day as well.

 

[Smille24]

He hasn't spoken to anyone about it yet. He will if need be, but he can just take the day off and not get paid. It'll work out.

I've been done with clomid for 2 days. My face has broken out really bad so if it doesn't clear up I'm going to the dermatologist.

I'm starting opks tomorrow and no matter what an u/s Sat. If I get a positive opk then I just go in for bloodwork and an ultrasound and they'll tell me when to trigger. IUI will be within 36 hrs of that. So hopefully by mid week it'll be over.

 

[miranda007]

Lauren - yeah I wasn't that strong when is started IVF because you hear all these horror stories. And I think the months leading up to it (knowing you have to do it make it worse!) - I cried when the nurse showed me the needle! And also made my husband feel a bit bad because the night before he'd bought up all these issues - and I was mad at him for bringing them up again saying I'm trying to be tough going in. But I guess it was good because we talked about it. But when I started I was expecting all these symptoms and didn't get them. Injections only last for 10 days too then you're done. Then it's the waiting game which is the hard bit - because they have to prepare yourself that none could survive after day 5 etc. Honestly all those months of trying/year was way worse!
Ha ha yeah so about counting your chickens!! Actually I said exactly the same thing when I said wanted more eggs for other siblings and I said never had that saying been more true - don't put all your eggs in one basket!!
Well my Dr was lovely and she reassured me from our fora meeting saying - look you'll have the family that you want you might just need a little help". So I remembered that. We definitely talked about how many kids we want - and I know it sounds sooooo silly when you're having trouble getting pregnant for your first - but she said it's not uncommon for people to do that. She also had to say don't get too excited about getting too many eggs to freeze - guess they have to manage your expectations. And I guess was 35 turning 36. Too. And husband is 39 so I like the idea of snapping our fertility in time!

What also helped me was knowing how far IVF had come and we're actually really lucky to be able to use it. Two ladies at my work had issues getting pregnant and 30 years it wasn't as effective. Poor things are still cut up about it. So that helped me. I thought we're so lucky that science has come so far! And it was pretty cool seeing the whole process.

My period came today so I think they'll put one in soon! I'm not sure the process. I know it's like a Pap smear - and they track u from day 10 to check the best time. Hopefully it works because my little sister is pregnant (yep first go) and I really don't want to be too far behind. All my friends have gotten pregnant around me and I've been pretty good about it - my little sister getting pregnant got to me.

Smile - sorry your face had broken out. I've had that before when I came off the pill and it sucks. Wow so you'll be doing an IUI soon!

 

[Smille24]

I've been having bad hot flashes too at night, but it's ok. I go in tomorrow for my u/s and I'm so worried that the high dosage of clomid didn't work. We've spent a lot of money so far and I don't want it to be a bust. I'll let you know how it goes.

 

[Hiker1]

Hi! So how is it going? You must be done with your Clomid and close to your IUI date??

I had my first Ultrasound today. My hubby went with my for support which was nice. There were no cysts or anything strange with my uterus. My doctor said he was not worried about my .5 AMH, and in fact was encouraged. He said those with really bad reserve would be at like .01 so it's better than he thought it would be. So he said we'll keep moving forward with the treatment, and tonight I'll start my femara pills for 5 days. I'm also getting an Ovidrel shot. My next ultrasound is on Jan. 18 (which is good because it's a holiday for me - no missing work), then hopefully that day I can do the shot and the insemination the next day or so after that. Kind of exciting!!

 

[Smille24]

That's terrific news! I hope everything progresses nicely for you. After getting the ultrasound and they tell you where you're at it's a huge weight off of your shoulders.

I had my ultrasound today and I have a follicle measuring at 19mm. I am triggering tomorrow night at 9:30 and IUI is Tues at 9:30am. I am so relieved that the meds did their job.

 

[Hiker]

Hi Smille! This is still Lauren - I changed my user name - I know, weird, but my husband suggested I change to something more anonymous. So here we are...oh well.

Anyway, that is such great news for you too! Enlighten me on what it means to have a folicle and what the measurements mean exactly? I am about a week behind you - going in for my next ultrasound on the 18th (so I guess that's when they'll tell me about the status of my folicles)? All my doctor said on his way out was "please, please make some good eggs!!"

So I don't know if this is a side effect from the femara, or if I'm just weird, but I was at a party last night and I was having serious hot flashes, then getting really cold, back and forth. So much I was fanning myself, then later, had to ask my friend for a blanket to curl up on her couch for warmth. Not feeling that way today but I guess we'll see if it happens again tonight when I take my next dose. I'm also trying to up my water intake after I read you broke out really bad. I have such problems with persistent acne as it is, I am dreading it getting worse.

Side note, my friend who went off the pill and started trying at the same time as me is in labor as we speak. And yesterday I started my femara. Ironic, no?

 

[Smille24]

Totally understandable on the name change.

I have some bad hot flashes since taking clomid, only at night. During the day I'm cold. Last night I took a sip of wine and my skin felt like it was on fire, so I dumped the rest. My acne has subsided thank goodness. It's just a change in hormones and your body doesn't know what to do.

When you go for you ultrasound, they are checking follicle (egg) size. My dr wants to see at least one follicle at 20mm in order to do the trigger shot. That means it's a healthy mature egg. Some women don't get to 20mm, it just depends on the dr and how your body responds.

When you go in on the 18th, do not be alarmed if they tell you to return in a couple of days. It doesn't mean your body is failing, it just means you're not quite there. I was prepared to have to go back tomorrow, but luckily that wasn't the case.

 

[Hiker]

Thanks for understanding! And thanks for explaining. So follicle = egg. Got it. Is one follicle what we are shooting for? Or should we have more? And yours was 19, so I guess that was close enough to 20 to not need to go back to recheck? And tonight is your trigger shot - will you give it yourself? I am so not looking forward to doing any kind of self-shots AT ALL. My doctor said to bring mine with me - I guess because if my follicle is the right size at that time, they will give it to me then? I'm sure I'll be an old pro soon enough, but this is all so new, I'm just trying to understand everything.

That is great to hear the acne subsided for you. Sounds like it was at its worst right during the time you were taking clomid. Sounds like the hot/cold thing was the same for you too. That sounds terrible about the wine!! I love my wine and if it ever tastes like it's on fire, I may cry!

 

[Smille24]

Thanks for understanding! And thanks for explaining. So follicle = egg. Got it. Is one follicle what we are shooting for? Or should we have more? And yours was 19, so I guess that was close enough to 20 to not need to go back to recheck? And tonight is your trigger shot - will you give it yourself? I am so not looking forward to doing any kind of self-shots AT ALL. My doctor said to bring mine with me - I guess because if my follicle is the right size at that time, they will give it to me then? I'm sure I'll be an old pro soon enough, but this is all so new, I'm just trying to understand everything.

That is great to hear the acne subsided for you. Sounds like it was at its worst right during the time you were taking clomid. Sounds like the hot/cold thing was the same for you too. That sounds terrible about the wine!! I love my wine and if it ever tastes like it's on fire, I may cry!

I have more follicles, but the 1 was pretty mature. The others could mature as well, but that will increase your chance of multiples. Idk how many we show have tbh, they never told me. I may do the shot myself, but we'll see how I feel when it comes to that time.

I'm so new at this that I don't know what to expect. I'll keep you updated.

 

[Smille24]

I had to have my dh do it. I just froze as I held it in my hand. I didn't even feel it so I hope that gives you peace of mind.

 

[Hiker]

Ok wow! You got your shot! Glad to hear it wasn't painful. I like the idea of DH doing the shot. I'll probably do the same if they don't give it to me at my scan. Iui tomorrow for you, right? Good luck!!!!

 

[Smille24]

You read my update in another thread so no need to post it here. I'm doing much better today, but it's hard. I couldn't keep the news from my dh bc he'd be even more hurt and it's a huge burden to carry. We are going to see a urologist if this fails and find out if there's anything they xan recommend. The things I was told yesterday were unnecessary at that time and could've waited. I'm supposed to be relaxed, not crying and stressed out.

I am thinking of you as you go in for your u/s next week. I hope for the best news!

 

[robinsonmom]

Can I join you ladies? After 3 years of ntnp and ttcing on my own I've finally found an amazing OB.. Have surprisingly become more relaxed about my journey and will be starting clomid for the next 3 cycles before seeing an RE. I am just waiting to start AF then proceed with 100mg clomid days 3-7. Also getting SA possibly next month.