episiotomy ... plz help

[nicksi27]

Hi ladies i had my naby boy on tuesday and it was a bit of a traumatic birth. Ended up with forceps, episiotomy and post partum haemorrhage. The pain from the episiotomy isnt getting better and its literally taking away the enjoyment of motherhood for me. Im constantly crying because i feel like im gonna be left disfugured, incontinent with no sex life.

The mw has been checking my stitches and one of them is gaping. She said they dont restitch for months tho until everything has healed. The thought of having a gaping open wound down there is distressing. My bum is constantly aching and ive got a bleeding pile. I also cant feel my pelvic floor at all, is this normal? Trying to do kegels but i cant feel a thing but feel a dragging sennsation when i walk.

I cant see any light at the end of the tunnel and just feel depressed
i knew this would happen and begged for a section but they went with forceps onstead. Im having lavender baths, using lavender and tea tree compresses and have ordered arnica tablets.

Anyone else been in this situation before? Is it possible for gaping stitches to heal themselves? Cant imagine feeling like this for months on end ill end up with PND or something i cant leave the house because i cant walk due to pain and dragging sensation i feel like a prisoner

 

[Heramys]

I'm so sorry that you're going through this! I'd say go and see a doctor and not a midwife for a second opinion. In my world it should be better to restitch while it hasn't started to form much scar tissue? by the sound of your numbness it's probably your nerve that's got damaged. For that reason I'd go and see a doctor as well. I think you should be firm and stand your ground with this. Wishing you all the best with this

 

[Elo5]

My little girl is 7 months old, I had forceps, episiotomy and resulted in a third degree tear. It isn't pleasant and I felt like I was never going to be normal again it did take about 5 months to feel entirely normal again. My stiches healed fine so never experienced what your going through but try not to worry. Hopefully in a few months you will forget as I have now give it a bit of time x

 

[summer rain]

At this stage I wouldn't worry about nerve damage or anything like that. Even with a 'normal' delivery five days post natally many women will struggle to feel their pelvic floor and feel like a train has hit them in the nether regions. I had an episiotomy with my eldest and though one of the stitches didnt fall out they obviously stitch it while its all swollen and so when the swelling goes down a bit sometimes you can get a bit of gaping where they couldn't see properly that little bit needed stitching-because of the swelling. That is what happened to me. I was extremely worried but was told most of the time it does heal up by itself without the need for any future surgery and they were right, it wasn't nice though and it was extremely uncomfortable to sit down for more than 6 weeks. If you're not breastfeeding you should be able to take considerably stronger painkillers. Also you can get what they call valley or doughnut cushions to sit on until everything is healed, may make things more bearable? Xx

 

[mjemma]

It's still very early so try not to worry too much. My DS is 8 weeks and I won't lie and say it's back to normal but it's better than I ever thought it would be in the first week. The best advice I found is to let things air dry for a while after your bath otherwise it never dries properly and do your kegels every time you feed or change baby.

 

[nicksi27]

Hi ladies thank you for your replies. The episiotomy scar doesnt feel too painful anymore despite the midwife confirming ive got a "button hole gape" in one of my stitches. She doesnt think it will need restitching but theyre gonna keep an eye on it. The thing im more worried about is the dragging pain ive got when walking. I feel it in my butt and vagina, what the hell is it?? The mw said it could be the stitches healing inside but i literally feel like ive been kicked by a horse in the crotch and it feels heavy and bruised. Trying to do kegals as best i can but i feek like im never gonna recover ive been crying everyday i just wanna be able to take my baby out in his pushchair and do normal things without having to worry about pain and ive got this fear i might need a no2 and not be able to control it so i darent even go out. This happened once when i took some laxatives so im worried now.

Any ideas what this pain could be?

 

[Rickles]

Hi hun

Been there, done that (forceps, episiotomy - on gas and air) aarghh... i had all the same fears - and yes my stitches fell out and I got an infection/ gaping hole... it sucks. BUT - I am here 9 months later to reassure you it WILL get better. Honestly!!! It's really important you don't overdo though (that's why my stitches fell out). You've just had a baby, relax and don't expect too much of your body!!! I can't explain all the different pains I had but I can say that by 3 months they were much better and by 6 months I felt totally fine having sex - bloody nervous the first time at 9 weeks but it all gets better.

Hang in there xx