evil on the way to ruin my evening :(

[zizii]

Hi all

My evil SIL is on her way to see us. She has a baby... Who i do love! But i dislike her so much! Long story short she has always been nasty to me always passing sly remarks at me and we've had a public display of her shouting at me over me not wanting her to get me a drink ( all i did was say no... 5 mins later husband asked me if i wanted a drink i thought oh yes as i had gotten food in those 5mins!)
But since we told her i was pregnant she almost passed out ( jealousy of attention diverting from her!) And she from that day she started saying oh wait till this and that ( like acne , sickness etc) and started lecturing me infront of everyone about being pregnant and how she loved it and she bloomed blah blah blah!

Prior to this she always used to call me 'fat!' I'm a size 6/8 with big boobs and a flat stomach which i gymed my bottom off for! I also eat alot ( my family is verrrryyy typical pakistani food lovers! We dont do diet foods!) And she claims i eat nothing and she eats more than me and is still so petite ( she had anorexia and she does NOT eat. My MIL is forever complaining about her daughters food habbits they can survive the whole day on one piece of toast as they love to be skinny twigs!)

Now my problem is she is coming over to give me a headache and carry on putting me down. I know she will say my bump is small or i dont even look pregnant or something hurtful.
I tend to ignore her which to be honest being an only child i'd thump her in the face. But i'm pregnant now and i am NOT wanting to take her crap today. If she dares lectures me or tells me i dont look pregnant or my bump is small or she was HUGE at 14 weeks or something nasty do i just tell her straight that she should shut her anorexic mouth and keep her opinions to herself (i can blame hormones!) Or do i just ignore it. I really do want to say something though as i know i will end up telling hubby after and he will want to say something to her and i will stop him ending up in US fighting!

And to add to my misery i'm studying for my exams so evilness will be wasting my time

I do love my nephew though but even his cuteness can't hide how much i would like to high kick his mother in the face

Help me

*sniffle*

 

[Kaede351]

Oooooh, I'm not sure I would be able to keep my mouth shut lol...

I told my brother at the weekend that his fiance needed to "get a life so that he can have a bit of his back" >.< whoops!! She's very controlling of him, he gets NOTHING for himself. He got over £3000 this term for his student loan.. it's meant to last him until next term! She took every last penny for shopping. I think she maybe left him £24 which has to last him the rest of the term... bitch...

But anyway, I think that by the sounds of it your SIL really needs to be told to shut the hell up. But it needs to be a sharp slap in the face type comment rather than just an explosion of anger... Not sure I can help you there though haha.

Good lukc and try not to let her get to you too much. She sounds really childish

XxX

 

[PegLeg2na]

Well, if you want to be "nice" about it you can just say all pregnant women are different for every pregnancy, and some women are huge by 14 weeks while others don't even start showing until 20 weeks. I hate nasty people and while it is satisfying telling them off, it just ends up giving them more fuel. Just try to stay on the high road, but if you do end up snapping...HAVE FUN!

 

[smiley330]

Ahhh I really dislike people like this.... could you not quickly do a runner before she gets to yours

Seriously though, try to ignore her - dont get wound up by anything she says. Just listen and know that she is an idiot!! If she does say something that is really uncalled for, go MENTAL and then just blame it on your hormomes - that's what they are there for! x

 

[LisK]

She sounds awful! Could you just avoid her altogether by telling her you need to study so you can't hang out with her?

 

[lalitas charm]

Oooh she sounds like a nightmare!!

Next time she says your tiny and don't look pregnant, smile brightly and thank her! Say, "thats great, that should mean I'll have no trouble getting back into shape again, you've made my day!!" That will shut her up!! If she says she was huge when she was 14 weeks say, "yeah some women just blow up like crazy early on don't they, I'm so glad I didn't" and smile sweetly.

If she's really pissing you off say "well at least after all the weight gain, blooming and stretch marks you got you do have such a lovely son so it's good to see all the sacrifices you made were worth it".

What ever you do, smile, be sweet and don't let her annoy you!! The nicer you are the harder it will be for her to be evil and she can't complain to your DH etc as they'll just see you being nice to her . Every dig she makes turn it around into a compliment, if she says you look big say "great, I love looking pregnant", if she says you look small say "great, I'll probably not get too big!!!" If she talks about acne ask her how she coped with it as it looks like it is still troubling her sometimes!! If she says about sickness just say "yeah, its annoying but hey, I hear if you're sick it means baby is doing well". And then you can finish it all with, "Its great to have you around telling me these things as at least I know that if you were able to cope with all of it then so will I!!"

 

[bumpbear]

She sounds like she gets a kick out of winding you up. Dont give her the satisfaction! Kill her with kindness - eg if she says she says she glowed through her pregnancy, enthusiastically agree and say she was the prettiest pregnant girl you'd ever seen. It will confuse the crap out of her as to why you're not taking the bait and you can have a sneaky laugh at her frustration with you.

 

[Jen_xx]

She is coming to YOURE house?
Well, if so... enough said. She will respect you in YOUR house, or she will not be welcomed. Simple as that.

Tell her how you feel. She needs to realize how she talks to you will not be tolerated.

 

[Noirin]

if she mentions ur bump is smaller than hers was at 14 weeks say that must be because u were slimmer pre preg than her...will drive her mad lol xx

 

[Jaylynne]

Oh boy... I'm not sure the killing with kindness would help someone like her... I'd remain courteous unless she said something completely out of line and then you need to correct the bitch. Your house and you should not be disrespected in your home. I wouldn't say something you'd regret, but something forceful enough to let her know picking on you is off limits.

 

[Cee108]

I LOVE lalitas charm's answers! No need to be extra nice to your SIL but turn everything on her!

I have a Pakistani side of the family too and I hate how people there always imply I eat too little (meaning I don't look pudgy ... like you, I worked my butt off at the gym for that!) Don't let your SIL ruin your pregnancy for you. Let her be as negative as she wants; her problem, not yours. If she makes you feel belittled at any stage, just say directly to her you're sure all pregnancies are different and you're coping fine with EXPERT help (i.e. midwives, doctors etc) Don't stand any insulting attitude in your own home.

I'd also suggest if she's the type who complains to your OH about you, make sure he is aware she spreads negativity first. Whenever she says stuff like that, you give your husband a 'This is what I was talking about' look. Its more effective than trying to remind him what was said afterwards. I'm sure he'll say something to her eventually.

 

[zizii]

Big hugs ladies !

Well she started rubbing my tummy, I moved away :/ and then she was asking what I craved! I don't actually crave stuff I do really like green apples, plums and potatoes. She was like ohhhhhhh I craved apples! It must be a boy like me! Then she proceeded to continue to ask me questions like Are you coping? So I said yes fine just get headaches which of course she had too! And then her baby started bawling and I was distracting him by asking him why is he crying (for some strange reason he always seems like he listens to me!) then she picked him up and he started bawling again! And she started saying oh you have all this to look forward too! How will you cope?
I told her straight off that kids adore me as much as I adore them. I look after my cousins kids occasionally and they love me and hubby to bits. And I said well I suppose if you could cope anyone could really in a childish funny way and started showing my nephew pictures of my cousin baby! Erghhh

I went up to my study to actually do some studying but she came up after 15 mins though I told her and my in-laws who came over too that I'm going to study! She stayed in my study for over an hour my mil and other sil came up to my study too!

Now I'm fuming I'm 3 chapters behind my timetable and 2 questions behind

I want to go to sleep being pregnant has made my brain slower

 

[zizii]

P.s all your advice ladies came in use. I also found mentally zoning myself out helped! I will use all the tips you gave at Xmas as she dare not say things to me infront of her own mother!

 

[mommysbaby]

she is enjoying this because she can see u upset. try this if possible. whenever she will tell u anything -ve start agreeing with her extra enthusiastically. that will kill the fun for her n she will find some other target. u want ur brother & nephew so u have to find out a way that will destroy her and keep ur loved once close to u. tell us how u managed afterwards.