experiencing a miscarriage...:(

[xocharlotteox]

Hi i am currently experiencing a misscarriage. I had a scan wednesday baby was aged 10weeks...to then be told there was no heartbeat and baby wasnt right size so it had been like that a while. I am gutted we had been trying for nearly 2years I am lost and cant help blaming myself i feel empty and dont know where to go from here got another scan wed coming. Ive only been bleedin for 2 n half days have passed "sack" but no sign of baby am I horrible for hating the thought of my baby still being inside me?

 

[mazee71]

Oh honey - it's nothing you have done/not done that caused this.

When I had mc all I saw was some small clots, nothing else. It may have already passed.

Big hugs to you xx

 

[honey08]

this is a mmc ( unknown mc) i had one, went for 12wk scan and the baby was only 5wk in size, i had a dnc to have anything removed, this had taken me 18mth to get preg and was scared we wudnt concieve again,but within 7mth we did, morgans now 8mth old !!!!

pls pls dont give up,ur body can get rid of a pregnancy for the next to b healthy as silly as it sounds xx

 

[xocharlotteox]

I dont think it has though bleeding started very light tuesday baby was still there wed for my scan bleeding stopped yesterday afternoon had no clotting just light bleeding

 

[mazee71]

I know my loss was earlier than yours but I woke up to heavy bleeding, bled the Mon & Tues - period type bleeding and then just spotting - and there was nothing left.

Are you having any pain at all??

 

[xocharlotteox]

Nope no pain at all this is what makes it harder ive had no pain or any sign of it happenin jst the light spotting tue n ob when they told me about baby not having heartbeat. I dont know if this is normal not havin pain or only experiencing light bleedin for such short time

 

[whyme]

So Sorry for your loss. I had MMC 8/2/10, baby had died at 8+1, I was nearly eleven weeks. I had no indictaion - just went to loo when I got up that morning - bright red blood, no clots, no pain. Scan that morning showed MMC. I opted for Medical assistance, booked for the first tablet two days later 10/2/10. However, after the scan, carried on bleeding, just like a period, no clots. When I took the first tablet two days later, it just sped things up and I started to miscarry at home that evening. I ended up in hospital due to v. heavy blood loss and seven hours later - they "delivered" the baby with forceps - the very last to leave my body. I was told baby would probably be first to come away.... They had warned me that I would recognise the baby, I chose not to look, the doctor gave me the details when I asked him. However, you are further along, I would think you would recognise the baby?

Regarding still having the baby still inside you - everyone is different. I didn't feel that way, in fact when I signed the consent form to go ahead with the tablet, felt as if I was aborting the baby , even though he/she had already died, that may sound madbut was how I felt. However, all I can say, is I think you are at the very worst stage - carrying the baby, anxiety about the physical process, aside from the devastation of the loss. Once the physical side is over, at least you can start to grieve "properly"
xx

 

[emmad339]

Please don't blame yourself hun - there's nothing u could have done to change what has happened. I had a m/c back in August, '08 but fell pregnant 5 months later with twins, who are now 6 months old so there's always lots of hope. It's an awful thing to go through though and my heart goes out to you xxxx

 

[goddess25]

I feel for you, I am sorry for your loss! You might find when you get your repeat scan if you have not bled more they might want to give you a D&C. With both of my m.c i bled much heavier than my normal period and i passed some pretty large clots which was a wee bit sore but i never seen anything that resembled anything at that stage.

Your body will recover soon and take your time to get over it, but i am confident that you will be pregnant again soon, they do say your more fertile after a loss not sure why! Once again I am sorry and huge hugs.

 

[xocharlotteox]

Thank you all for your comments hopefully after my scan I can try and move on and start trying again dont want this to put my life on hold. Still had no bleedin since passing sack so im thinkin prob d&c after wed depending on scan. Another worry I have is returning to work my supervisor is 22weeks pregnant im worried after trying for so long to concieve then loosing what was the best thing i'll feel slight hate towards her and seeing her bump n everythin will make it so hard

 

[Dannib247]

massive hugs hun so sorry for your loss thinking of you xx

 

[Vickieh1981]

I'm sorry you are having to go through this - I know how hard it is.

I went for my 13 week scan 2.5 weeks ago only to be told that the baby had died the day before. It is totally devastating when you have not had any indication that something has gone wrong.

I didnt' bleed at all on my own. In the end they gave me drugs to start contractions up and I delivered a perfect little girl later that day.

Is it this wednesday you have your scan?

 

[xocharlotteox]

I'm sorry you are having to go through this - I know how hard it is.

I went for my 13 week scan 2.5 weeks ago only to be told that the baby had died the day before. It is totally devastating when you have not had any indication that something has gone wrong.

I didnt' bleed at all on my own. In the end they gave me drugs to start contractions up and I delivered a perfect little girl later that day.

Is it this wednesday you have your scan?

I no its horrible the feelings i have over last few days, confused, angry, hurt empty im dreading the scan and hearing what they say again. Yes its this wed x

 

[Vickieh1981]

I will be thinking of you on Wednesday. It's weird how all hospital do things differently. I had one scan where they told me she had died and had to get a supervisor to double check. They gave me the drugs two days later and I had her.

I have heard of lots of other hospitals double checking - I wonder why mine didn't.

 

[xocharlotteox]

Well wed just gone i had a scan but as they couldnt see heartbeat they then did an internal examination which confirmed the scan. They then sent me home and arranged for another the following wednesday (a whole week of waitin) I will then find out if i need d&c or the medical management option which i believe involves taking tablets

 

[#1onway]

I'm sorry for your lost. I had a mmc, went for a scan at 12 weeks and found out the baby had died at 9 weeks. That was on 19/02 (fri) was sent home to make decision between d&c and medical option. I had the medication, first tablet on the Sunday (21st) then went into hospital on the Tuesday (23rd) for several more tablets internally and orally. I passed the baby late that afternoon. Not sure why you are having to wait a whole week for another scan though, if they have confirmed a definate mc. I understand how you feel about wanting the baby out that's how i felt. If you don't want to wait till scan Wednesday i would phone the hospital tomorrow and ask the reasons behind the second scan, i'm no expert but i've never heard of that.
I can also understand your concerns about your colleague being pregnant and how you will feel. I was due to start maternity leave with my colleague and now i'm dreading the day coming. We had made lots of plans now i feel a little jealous. I think its natural but i do feel guilty about it as she is a very good friend. Sorry if im going on, hope you have loads of support x

 

[xocharlotteox]

Yeh quite a few people have mentioned the fact that ive had to carry the baby a week longer than i should have and thats its usually sorted or help if recieved before this. Its torturing having to wait each day since wed has been hard and wednesday coming will be another repeat of last Even then i might need tablets or d&c if baby still present which i think it is. I have only had 2 very light days of bleeding and only passed the sack as soon as that passed the bleeding stopped (on friday)

 

[Vickieh1981]

Well wed just gone i had a scan but as they couldnt see heartbeat they then did an internal examination which confirmed the scan. They then sent me home and arranged for another the following wednesday (a whole week of waitin) I will then find out if i need d&c or the medical management option which i believe involves taking tablets

They wanted me to wait 6 days after I had my scan to go in and have Isabella too but we went up the day after the scan and kicked off so they gave me the tablets that day.

You are right, medical management involves tablets. The first one they gave me was mifegyne which is a progesterone blocker which makes your body realise that it is not pregnant anymore. Then the next morning they gave me misoprostil to start the contractions. The first tablet was at 10am then I had one every 3 hours after that until I delivered her at 5pm.

I still had to have a d&c though because the placenta was retained and showing no signs of coming away. You should have a choice of which management you have. I chose to have Isabella naturally because she was 13 weeks and had only died the day before my scan so I wanted to see her which is not possible if you have a D&C obviously.

I hope this goes as well as possible for you but I would be tempted to go to the hospital today and push them to do the second scan earlier because it's not good for your mental health to be waiting.

 

[africaqueen]

So sorry for your loss sweetie
I lost my baby due to ectopic in jan this yr after ttc for 5yrs
We must keep hope though and keep telling ourselves , we WILL get pregnant again and we WILL be mothers with babies in arms ;-)

I found the miscarriage support forum on here was a great support when i went through my loss. The ladies there are all going through MC also so u may find that forum useful also xxx

 

[always hope]

so sorry for your loss, when i had my m/c i was about 10 weeks, just started with cramps then a recognizable baby was first then bleeding and clots, it was a complete m/c but my cramping stopped as soon as baby was gone. i wish you lots of luck for the future