F.A.I.T.H. (Forsaking all, I trust Him)

[mrskcbrown]

Hey all

So I called the RE today and I spoke with the her nurse of course. The nurse says that she is going to speak with the DR about my situation and get back to me. So I guess Im still playing a waiting game.

Tomorrow I go to see my ob/gyn and hopefully she will test me, and Im sure it will be a urine test. If I am not BFP, (which I dont even remotely think I am) and they dont really do anything, I am going to start taking my provera+metformin+femara to get my cycle restarted. I dont have forever to wait for my cycle to start again.

Hope yall have a good day!

 

[Aaisrie]

I'm feeling like this, and I figure some of you girls probably are too:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ko7AG2ZzKec

 

[mrskcbrown]

Well the reproductive endocrinologist called and said that she wants me to take provera for 10 days and wait for my AF to come. No blood test or anything. Im mad because a) I could have been did this as I already have a script for provera at the pharmacist and b) because what if I am pregnant? I guess if I dont bleed after taking these pills I am??? IDK, . I dont think I am anyway. After a negative test the day before Af, one 3 days after AF due and one this past friday that was BFN, I think that I am NOT!

I will let the ob/gyn know at my appt tomorrow, that way they can urine test me for free. Tired of pissing my money away!

 

[somedaymama]

Hmm. Definitley have them give you a pregnancy test before taking the provera. I just did some reading online about it, and apparently it used to be used as a pregnancy test--if it didn't start your period, you were pregnant. Other sites say it can cause birth defects if you are in fact pregnant. I hope you get things figured out soon.

So sorry Deb.

 

[mommahawk]

Dahlia, Thanks so much for the information. That makes me feel better cause I woke up this morning wondering if the watch was registering and I had forgotten to do a test last night, so I didn't know. Yes, you're right about my cycles...at least that's what it's been the last two months. I started on B-50s this cycle (instead of B-100s). As for the watch, I'll do a test tonight to make sure everything's OK. Oh, and last night was much better wearing the watch. I didn't have it so tight, so it was much more comfortable!

Loved the beautiful weather we had here today! Can't wait for the 67 we're supposed to have on Friday...love springtime!!!

Hugs to all you girls! Deb, MrsBrown, Dahlia...thinking about you!

Someday, liked your perspective on BnB and TTC support...good thoughts, there!

G'night ladies!

 

[somedaymama]

67?! I want to move where you live!

 

[Aaisrie]

Wow... totally jealous of the weather there!! It's about 37 here...

Mrskcbrown I really hope they figure out whats going on

 

[cheerios]

mommahawk - 67 is that like 20 degrees! Oh wow! Lucky you! Well, I´m going back to Singapore in June and we´re going to have over 30 degrees everyday! Oh boy, that´s gonna be TOO hot!

 

[cheerios]

cheerios, don't feel bad for venting your frustrations. I know how it feels to have no one IRL that understands infertility. My sister is about the only person I will talk to about TTC, and she tries to understand, but she honestly has no clue what infertility is like because she has never been there. It took a few months to get pregnant with each of her kids because she had really long cycles, but that comes no where near the point of reaching well over a year with no hope on the horizon.

I think people that say we don't get pregnant because we are trying too hard are full of crap. I'm sorry, I know that is mean, but really?? Our bodies are designed to conceive, and our hoping doesn't make our brains decide not to send the necessary hormone signals. Of course it is never good to overly obsess and it is always good to put our trust in God, but TTC and infertility are a lonely journey and I think it is a great thing that we can share it with each other and encourage each other. If being on BnB causes a person to overly stress or to forget that God is in control, well, maybe it's not a good thing for them. But for some people, it is the only outlet we have because we don't want to put our burdens on people that cannot and often do not want to understand.

Hey! Thanks so much for putting into words what´s on my heart! I tried to express myself in the way you wrote, but in German and all these technical terms of "ovaries" and everything, I think I didn´t manage to come across the way I really had wanted to.

I know that my friend didn´t mean it in a bad way..... but still, it felt quite frustrating. She even asked me if she ended up discouraging me in the end....and I just said "Well, I think encouraged but in a very challenging way"....hahah, dunno if that amounts to be "discouraged".....

Anyway, I´ve decided to put that behind me. THe one thing I know I should do is, to spend more time with God and not researching on the INternet for one cause after the next..... I know that that´s a weak pt of mine, so I need to be careful there.....

I guess its good to be reminded every now and then.

Have a great day you all! God bless!

 

[willbamom1day]

just wanted to drop off some hugs and prayers for you all

have a blessed day!

 

[Dahlia]

today was 12dpo...I know it is not over til AF but I'm starting to really figure my body out - and it is over. bbs aren't as full or sore - all symptoms start to fade and then she comes.

I always feel like I absolutely cannot go on on these days. and now, I feel we've had several "perfect" conception cycles and I fear there is something wrong. at least we have the RE appointment this week...that is some light at the end of the tunnel. but to be honest - I feel hopeless. I lose faith in God for one day each month.

 

[mrskcbrown]

today was 12dpo...I know it is not over til AF but I'm starting to really figure my body out - and it is over. bbs aren't as full or sore - all symptoms start to fade and then she comes.

I always feel like I absolutely cannot go on on these days. and now, I feel we've had several "perfect" conception cycles and I fear there is something wrong. at least we have the RE appointment this week...that is some light at the end of the tunnel. but to be honest - I feel hopeless. I lose faith in God for one day each month.

I understand your frustration, as I lose faith in him more than once a month. I have to constantly repent. The only people I can share that with is you all because if I tell DH he will tell me that lack of faith is why we arent pregnant yet, which I totally disagree with.

Good luck at your re appt and they will find out the issues and get to the bottom of it.

 

[somedaymama]

Dahlia, at the risk of sounding a little insensitive, can I remind you that you don't actually know what it feels like to be pregnant? I don't want to get your hopes up, but don't give up so easily.

I really hope you get your BFP and nothing is wrong, but it's really good that you have your RE appointment coming up. If there is anything going on, they'll be able to identify it for you.

Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD. Psalm 27:4

 

[Dahlia]

yes, that is true, someday...but unfortunately, i know so well what it feels like to have af arrive on time every month. ha. but thx for giving me a little hope. I just told dh I don't know if I can try another month...I feel empty. I dream so much of the little one that could be growing in there and then when I find out it's not, it just breaks me worse every month. thx for letting me vent on you girls....I know you all understand, and it is easier to say this to you.

I know the Lord has perfect timing and is preparing me for something greater than this moment. But it is still hard to not be angry with him in the here and now. I don't know why, when I intellectually feel he loves me so much...i still feel, in these times, that he doesn't love me or is punishing me for something. I hate to admit this...and when I tell him this, I always apologize for saying it. but I can't help but think God loves me for telling him the truth.

 

[somedaymama]

I'm really sorry if I came across mean, and I really don't want to be one of those people that keeps telling you to hold out hope. You're right, you know your own body. It's okay to be angry. Even Job asked his friends to pity him because "the hand of God has struck me." I know this is a rough time for you. I'm praying for you.

 

[Dahlia]

oh no, dear - you didn't come across as mean at all! don't worry. and u r right - there is always the chance...it is just more slim. but I'm glad I tested and am getting my horrible day out of the way now, so we can enjoy the weekend. and I wont be all hopeful and expectant all weekend...i will just be. which is sometimes better for me.

 

[Dahlia]

thanks for reminding me of Job too. I LOVE Job. especially the ending.

 

[somedaymama]

Yes, enjoy your weekend. Try to get your mind off of baby making...as if that is ever really possible. I love Job too; this is my favorite verse:

Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
And naked shall I return there.
The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away;
Blessed be the name of the LORD.

 

[Dipar_Butt3]

I'm really sorry if I came across mean, and I really don't want to be one of those people that keeps telling you to hold out hope. You're right, you know your own body. It's okay to be angry. Even Job asked his friends to pity him because "the hand of God has struck me." I know this is a rough time for you. I'm praying for you.

See someday,

What you said there " I really don't want to be one of those people that keeps telling you to hold out hope." That is why i'm very careful on what i say or type on this blog any more lool. Because we don't really know what they are going though on the other end of their computers unless they tell us.

 

[Dahlia]

but Dipar - we are here as sisters to encourage and give one another hope. that as each bfn cycle passes, the Lord still has a beautiful plan for us and our lives. we should never stop doing that for one another.