F.A.I.T.H. (Forsaking all, I trust Him)

[TaeBoMama]

The other team I belong to (Aphrodite), which is not a Christian team, would never dream of asking the ladies who have conceived to share their joy elsewhere. So, I guess the pregnant/and new mommies can still come here just so long as they don't appear too happy, and if they make sure not to mention their little ones. And when someone gets a bfp, they shouldn't announce it here. They should very silently take their happiness to another thread. Weird that this is a Christian thread. I know I'm ruffling some feathers, but I find it sad that a non-Christian team is the place where I feel more comfortable. If I get my bfp before the others who are still trying, I know that they will truly be rejoicing with me, and not "wincing" at the thought that I'm pregnant. I'm so happy that the ladies who got their bfp didn't abandon me and the other couple of ladies still working toward the goal. I was so nervous about being the ONLY one left, on a team that no one visited anymore. But thankfully, they stuck around to offer support. And thankfully they felt loved enough to know that we truly wanted to see every ultrasound picture, and hear about every doctor report and birth announcement. I remember being apprehensive about joining that team because Aphrodite is a name of a Greek Goddess (of fertility) and I worried that the team would be un-Christian. I'm happy I joined that team. Some of the ladies are Christians, and even the ones who haven't professed to be Christians are very loving and supportive.

I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with being sad about not conceiving. The problem comes when you are sad that others have been blessed. My heart goes out to those who are struggling with the TTC journey, especially those who have no children. I pray for each of you, those who are trying and those who were successful. I will go now...

 

[cheerios]

TaeboMama - I appreciate your comments. But I think you've mistaken the true intention of the past few pages. We (the TTC ladies) have nothing against pregnant women. We rejoiced with them too. And if you had taken the time to read through the thread, you would realize that we have also been following up with the experiences of the pregnant ladies on this thread.

But this used to a be a TTC thread and as you can see from the other TTC ladies, a lot of us have stopped posting here, because there were significantly more pregnant ladies here than TTCing ladies. Hence, we felt out-of-place posting TTC issues when most of the women here no longer face those issues.

And our proposal was either we start a new thread with TTC discussions or continue to post here, but the TTC ladies would have to feel at home here too. Afterall, its a TTC thread.

Its not the discussion about their pregnancy - which I have no problem about, but many of them post their pregnancy stories on their journals anyways.

Its the constant reminder that you are NOT pregnant. You see pregnancy tickers on ALL/MOST of the pregnant ladies signatures. Its like you see it ALL the time! And the fact that you can't put a ticker on your signature. And you wonder if it will happen to you.

I hope you might want to clarify first before you throw accusations at a "christian" group. Sorry if I should edgy, but I find it unfair if you compare us negatively to a non-Christian group (which you know much better and are a part of), when you hardly even know us, or what exactly we've been talking about or been through.

 

[cheerios]

Hello all! Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I too was feeling very out of place being one of the few who hasn't gotten pregnant. So, heres an update on me. We are still actively TTC. This is our 20th cycle and we have decided to do IUI in January if we aren't blessed this month. I am in the 2ww now. This journey has gotten so discouraging over the past few months, but I am clinging to my Jesus and His promises. Hope you all have a very blessed Christmas! Still keeping you all in my prayers Hopefully I will be back with a BFP announcement after Christmas. Blessings!

Hey Rdy
So nice to hear from you again! Thanks for seconding what I felt too. Its the "feeling out of the place here" that stopped me from posting here, not because I was unhappy about having pregnant women here.

Your plans sounds similar to mine. I might consider IUI for the next cycle if this cycle doesn't work out. When are you testing?

Sorry that this journey has gotten discouraging, but I know exactly how you feel. That's why I feel its sooo nice to have sisters-in-Christ encouraging you and praying for you.

Weren't you leading worship in church? How's that coming along? And your hubby's sperms improved a lot recently right? That means that now things can possibly work out! That's what I tell myself too, that in the past when hubby's sperms were too little, it was "scientifically impossible" to conceive and now the new season starts!

 

[cheerios]

hullo again!

how great to see you here too someday! I'm so thrilled for you! WOW! time moves fast, seems like such a short time ago that you announced your pregnancy and your little girl is here already! Yahoo!

willba - your Christmas pic looks gorgeous and thanks for the verses!

mrskc - you are a babe! look at your tummy! you obviously making a big healthy baby! (hope that's not rude?)

AFM - Clearly, I'm in a really good place re: belly's and babies. I'm still TTC only I've dropped all the calendar marking, OV testing, POAS, pre-seed, RE appointments, etc.

I am seeing a wonderful therapist and I have acupuncture once or twice a month. The ultimate goal of these modalities is to deal with the stress and sadness of my TTC journey. I have spent the last year persuing more answers to my infertility and miscarraige and it involved a heck of a lot of procedures, tests and ultimately discouragement. I have had a laperoscopy, hysteroscopy, endometrial biopsy. I have had an HSG. I have had numerous blood tests. I have seen a naturopath, an R.E., a Chinese medicine practioner/acupuncturist. Everything led to more discouraging news and a lot of stress, $ and anxiety. I had become emotionally paralysed, barely functioning in my job, my marraige and my social life.

Therapy has been amazing for me. The stress levels have dropped right off and I am moving forward in a really joyful way. You see, I haven't posted here because I'm in a really different place. I would be overjoyed should God have a healthy pregnancy and baby in his plans for me but... I am asking him to lead me to the joyful life he knows I will have and I am actively working on moving forward through the other side of infertility. I can not afford to spend the next 50 or so years living with pain and stress and sadness. I need to understand and practice a life that will be a joyful testimony without my own children. I found my DH later in life and we started TTC when I was 36. I am now 41 and it's time to put down this struggle. I worked really hard at it and I am finally giving it all to him. You see, my prayers are now about asking for joy and grace and ease as I move past my TTC journey. Hallelujah! he is providing this for me! By the good grace of God, I can finally 'chill out'

xo and Merry Christmas!

Hey groovy
Hey, thanks for sharing! Gosh, I had no idea that you've been through so much! Wow. Perhaps you could write a book about that?

I really admire you. Really. From the bottom of my heart. You really show such signs of maturity in your life.

May I ask, how did you decide to "put down this struggle"? Glad to hear that therapy is helping u to overcome all that stress! My "therapy" is doing things I enjoy and planning new things in the future. And repeating to myself what Joel Osteen repeats all the time, "Your days are still in front of you"

I just read that Mariah Carey is pregnant...apparently with medical help too. And she's over 40, isn't she?

 

[Deb111]

I think we have to remember that there is a huge difference between finding it hard when others around us are getting BFP's and feeling resentment towards them. I don't resent anyone who is pregnant and am thrilled for all of you who are ; but it doesn't mean my heart doesn't ache because it's not me.

I think the idea of a TTC FAITH thread, a pregnancy FAITH thread and a parenting FAITH thread is a great idea. I'm sure we would all mix between the 3 to encourage and support each other, but it would mean that we would all feel more free to post without upsetting anyone, but I have no doubt that the TTC'ers would pop over to congratuate and support those who are pregnant and that the pregnant ladies would pop over to TTC to support us too. This is a wonderful group of ladies!

I personally know there are days when I can face BFP announcements / baby photos and days when I can't. There are days when I am strong and days when I'm not. I make very conscious decisions each day as to whether or not I can face coming on here at all and whether I can face popping into journals of friends who are expecting, but I know that there is not one day where I resent them.

Love to you all xx

 

[TaeBoMama]

TaeboMama - I appreciate your comments. But I think you've mistaken the true intention of the past few pages. We (the TTC ladies) have nothing against pregnant women. We rejoiced with them too. And if you had taken the time to read through the thread, you would realize that we have also been following up with the experiences of the pregnant ladies on this thread.

But this used to a be a TTC thread and as you can see from the other TTC ladies, a lot of us have stopped posting here, because there were significantly more pregnant ladies here than TTCing ladies. Hence, we felt out-of-place posting TTC issues when most of the women here no longer face those issues.

And our proposal was either we start a new thread with TTC discussions or continue to post here, but the TTC ladies would have to feel at home here too. Afterall, its a TTC thread.

Its not the discussion about their pregnancy - which I have no problem about, but many of them post their pregnancy stories on their journals anyways.

Its the constant reminder that you are NOT pregnant. You see pregnancy tickers on ALL/MOST of the pregnant ladies signatures. Its like you see it ALL the time! And the fact that you can't put a ticker on your signature. And you wonder if it will happen to you.

I hope you might want to clarify first before you throw accusations at a "christian" group. Sorry if I should edgy, but I find it unfair if you compare us negatively to a non-Christian group (which you know much better and are a part of), when you hardly even know us, or what exactly we've been talking about or been through.

cheerios--Although I haven't posted in a long time, I do know this team pretty well. And if you go take a look-see, you may notice that I used to post a good amount on here. I stopped when some ladies started complaining that the folks they work with, etc, we're becoming pregnant. If these people are being nasty about other people in their lives who've been blessed, they're not going to be happy when I get my BFP. I went looking for another group that was more supportive to the ladies who conceived. And I found that.

 

[willbamom1day]

guys i think this is getting a bit out of hand and should never gotten to this point.

yes this is a ttc group so i guess you could say us preggos are somewhat invading however this is a faith group - people who come together in a belief of knowing that no matter what or when God is in control

my prayers for you all is that God's will be done in your lives and believe me if i could i would make all those in this group without a bfp to have one if i could as i hurt to see you guys struggle but i too have been there and had those bad days

remember first what this group is about - the rest is extra

groovy glad to hear the therapy is going well I hope you have a very Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year

rdy2b I will be checkin back to hear of the good news - your in my prayers

Deb you are such a strong woman and your words show that. I pray all is well with you

I listen to even the smallest details of your hopes - God

give ear to my words O Lord Psalms 5:1

 

[cheerios]

TaeboMama - I appreciate your comments. But I think you've mistaken the true intention of the past few pages. We (the TTC ladies) have nothing against pregnant women. We rejoiced with them too. And if you had taken the time to read through the thread, you would realize that we have also been following up with the experiences of the pregnant ladies on this thread.

But this used to a be a TTC thread and as you can see from the other TTC ladies, a lot of us have stopped posting here, because there were significantly more pregnant ladies here than TTCing ladies. Hence, we felt out-of-place posting TTC issues when most of the women here no longer face those issues.

And our proposal was either we start a new thread with TTC discussions or continue to post here, but the TTC ladies would have to feel at home here too. Afterall, its a TTC thread.

Its not the discussion about their pregnancy - which I have no problem about, but many of them post their pregnancy stories on their journals anyways.

Its the constant reminder that you are NOT pregnant. You see pregnancy tickers on ALL/MOST of the pregnant ladies signatures. Its like you see it ALL the time! And the fact that you can't put a ticker on your signature. And you wonder if it will happen to you.

I hope you might want to clarify first before you throw accusations at a "christian" group. Sorry if I should edgy, but I find it unfair if you compare us negatively to a non-Christian group (which you know much better and are a part of), when you hardly even know us, or what exactly we've been talking about or been through.

cheerios--Although I haven't posted in a long time, I do know this team pretty well. And if you go take a look-see, you may notice that I used to post a good amount on here. I stopped when some ladies started complaining that the folks they work with, etc, we're becoming pregnant. If these people are being nasty about other people in their lives who've been blessed, they're not going to be happy when I get my BFP. I went looking for another group that was more supportive to the ladies who conceived. And I found that.

Taebo - Sorry but I don't remember you at all. I might have missed your posts.

I don't think any of the ladies here were "nasty about other people in their lives who've been blessed". In all honesty, I find "nasty" a pretty strong word and I don't think that's justifiable to use such a word towards the ladies here.

The ladies here are honest to the core. It may be a Christian group, but it doesn't mean that we mask our words about how we feel about our struggles. If one is having a hard time with having pregnant colleagues all over the place, BnB should be the one place where one can voice out her emotions.

I don't think any of the ladies here have in any way been "nasty" to any of those pregnant ladies. Its just that it really isn't easy to face pregnant colleagues day in and day out at work. I think we need to respect the fact that everybody has a different threshold of dealing with issues.

For example I would be genuinely happy for a person who gets pregnant. But I would still grieve over it on a bad day. And most of us are taking hormones to TTC anyway, so that doesn't really help with the whole "keeping cool" thing either.

In my opinion if you felt that this thread wasn't suitable for you, its great that you found another thread. But I don't agree with what you said about the ladies on this thread. I like the ladies here and I find it unfair to be thrown arrows at. If we truly were "nasty" to other pregnant friends, we would apologize. But we aren't. I hope you can accept the fact you have misunderstood our true intentions.

But willbe is right. In this regard, I will not discuss this issue anymore.

 

[groovygrl]

hullo

Dearest Taebo - I'm sorry that you've become so upset. That was no one's intention. i also don't resent the women here who are pregnant. I truely rejoice in their blessings. I have also posted and continue to post on another thread where each and every one of the girls have become pregnant in the last year and now the babies are being born. how fantastic! I periodically jump on and encourage, support and offer them big heartfelt congrats. I was suggesting a very inclusive, supportive and loving place for everyone to share their journey. In the thread I spoke of, the ladies there shared their pregnancies step by step and I found it interesting, funny,hopeful and really cool! The pregnant and new mums here haven't and I wanted to let them know that I would love there to be a place where they could do that here! I also would love to see a place where ladies currently TTC can get back into the lively discussions of that rollercoaster (from what I understand that wasn't happening here either) AND it would be extremely valuable for everyone to share in both.There are many streams, lakes and tributaries that feed a mighty river! I jumped on here periodically because even through the written word, I have come to adore, someday, mrskc, willbe, deb, cheerios, willbe (and many past and new poster's to this thread) Their lives, their trials and their joyfull blessings are important to me. I am very sorry if I have given any one of you the impression that I didn't feel this way.

And yes, 'wincing' is an awful, awful thing to do and feel. It comes from a very yucky painful place. I have worked hard and prayed lot's to move those emotions. It was a very honest personal thing to share and perhaps it was not safe to put in words. It was not about resentment. it was about my pain of infertility. I am happy you also find support and encouragement on B&B, there are many places here where anyone can find a group of women with whom they resonate. I'm sorry if you have been dissapointed here.

I don't post very often at all and I sincerely apologise to each and every one of you if my posts have incited negative feelings. I will continue to follow your journey's and pray for you and your families.

Merry merry Christmas everyone

 

[Deb111]

Hugs to you groovy

 

[groovygrl]

And big smooshie, juicy to you Deb! thanks

 

[ready4onemore]

Hey ladies,

Deb, how are you? I think I need to stalk your journal.

Cherrios, hi sweetie. Are you ready for Christmas?

Groovy, hope all is well.

Sorry for anyone that I missed.

 

[Rdy2BaMom]

Just for what it's worth. . . I have not been offended by anyone on this thread. When I started this thread, it was for christian ladies TTC. But as time went on, it has evolved into christian ladies who are TTC, LTTTC, and new mommy's and I wouldn't want it any other way! How else can we all learn and grow together? Yes, it has been difficult for ME to be one of the few who has not gotten pregnant, but that's my emotions, and that's okay. I have been ecstatic for each and every one of you ladies who have been blessed with a baby, and I know my time is coming sooner than later. Just because I don't post on here much does not mean I don't read all of the posts and keep all of you ladies in my prayers. I don't want anyone to leave this group! That is just ridiculous, in my opinion. I hope that no one decides to leave, and that we all only become a closer group.

Moving forward. . . .

groovy- I so admire you for being able to put TTC aside and just fully look to God without looking back. I honestly don't think I could do that, at least not right now.

willb-thanks for your prayers!! I treasure each and every one!

cheerios-Its good to be back! I have been struggling, A LOT, over the past couple months and I just needed a break. . . again Anyway, I am going to test Christmas morning I will be 10dpo, so it may be too early, but I just have to know I am still leading worship and it is awesome! I feel soooo blessed to have this opportunity and I am loving it! and yes, you are correct, my DH's #'s went from 18k to 125million, so our chances are much better, praise Him!! I know our time is coming soon, whether on our own, or with the help of man. God made Dr's for a reason, and I have no problem getting some "help" Hope all is well with you dear! and I will try to post on here more often.

I do have a prayer request, my family is under attack big time, or at least I am. The past couple weeks have been awful. My husbands great grandmother passed away 3 weeks ago, and then last week Wednesday, BOTH mine and my DH's grandfathers passed away, the same night. Friday, my shingles came back, today my FIL went to the Dr to get his TSA #'s checked (he was recently treated for prostate cancer) and his #'s are back up. . .not good! And now my MIL is mad at me because we are only spending half of the day Christmas day with them and the other half with my family. It just seems like my world is crumbling. . . I need mercy! I know God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but I think my cup is full I am a basket case and just need a break. So, if y'all could please just keep me and my family in your prayers, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks in advance!! Have a great Tuesday! (sorry this is so long )

 

[groovygrl]

hiya

rdy2 - wow sweets! cup full indeed! I'm so sorry for your recent losses and worrying news. What a stressfull time. I'm really hoping that you get some good news Christmas morning! I'm sorry your MIL is putting the pressure on but perhaps it is a trial run before you guys have kids? From what I understand, it's extremely difficult to cart kids back and forth on christmas day and one family or the other is going to be disapointed because the emotions run stronger for grandmas. Your family is my prayers. And as far as me putting aside TTC, well it's hard to explain really. No, perhaps it's not. I was going to say, I just got a strong feeling that it was time for me to let go. I know it was the Holy Spirit guiding me to that place. I don't think you feel like you could do it because it's not anywhere near your time or it's not ever going to be necessary. God won't ask you to put down your armour before it's time. So march on my friend!And good on you for taking wee breaks now and again. If I had to start at the beginning I would do exactly that. because of my age, I charged at it like a bull. wouldn't recommend it.

ready4- lovely to share your journey. How many cycles have you had since your surgery? I was glad to hear you healed so well. Was getting pregnant with your other kids easy? I hope you have a great Christmas and I look forward to seeing a big fat BFP from you too!

Cheerios - hi gorgeous! had a giggle about mariah's pregnancy. thank you for the the boost of support! oh how I wish me and DH had the resources to persue numerous attempts at IVF! I really hope that kelly preston, mariah, JLo etc. only had to give it one or two IVF cycles but the reality of IVF at 40+ is more like 6 or more go's. Getting pregnant on the first or second attempt at my age is the exception. Anyhoo...I just have too many factors working against me now. Two blocked tubes, low AMH, etc., etc.,blah blah blah. my last specialist appointment, I walked out knowing that it would be last time anyone told me anything crappy about how my body is working. So now I work and pray my way back to the place where I can believe in my highest self. Body, mind and spirit. Thank you for your kind words. You're lovely! Just like I said to Rdy2, march on sister, march on. please remember to take care of yourself properly on the way.

someday - how's your little butterfly? how are you feeling? What a fantastic Christmas!

willb- hope ur baby bump enjoys his/her (do you know? forgive me if it's been said in previous posts)first experience of turkey, stuffing and cranberries. BUT...mostly hope you don't have bad pregnancy heartburn. Oh yeah and pat out little drummer boy on ur tum 'cus then they don't mind when you pat it out on their 'cute as the dickens' bare bottom after. Hope your healthy and happy!

I'm off to the beach for Christmas, won't pop 'round again until after the new year. blessings and love to everyone. Merry Christmas!

 

[Darkest]

Hi girls, i don't post in here very often now. But that is because i have about 12 journals i keep an eye on and try and keep upto date with. I do love coming in here are reading all the posts tho.
I love reading about all the BFP's you girls get. It pains a bit at first but then i get so excited seeig all these tickers moving up boxes and i am thrilled at all these babys getting bigger, then born(especially finding out what the yellow bumps are!!!)
I personally think this group should stay as it is. to the preg ladies and to all those who need some.

 

[cheerios]

Just for what it's worth. . . I have not been offended by anyone on this thread. When I started this thread, it was for christian ladies TTC. But as time went on, it has evolved into christian ladies who are TTC, LTTTC, and new mommy's and I wouldn't want it any other way! How else can we all learn and grow together? Yes, it has been difficult for ME to be one of the few who has not gotten pregnant, but that's my emotions, and that's okay. I have been ecstatic for each and every one of you ladies who have been blessed with a baby, and I know my time is coming sooner than later. Just because I don't post on here much does not mean I don't read all of the posts and keep all of you ladies in my prayers. I don't want anyone to leave this group! That is just ridiculous, in my opinion. I hope that no one decides to leave, and that we all only become a closer group.

Moving forward. . . .

groovy- I so admire you for being able to put TTC aside and just fully look to God without looking back. I honestly don't think I could do that, at least not right now.

willb-thanks for your prayers!! I treasure each and every one!

cheerios-Its good to be back! I have been struggling, A LOT, over the past couple months and I just needed a break. . . again Anyway, I am going to test Christmas morning I will be 10dpo, so it may be too early, but I just have to know I am still leading worship and it is awesome! I feel soooo blessed to have this opportunity and I am loving it! and yes, you are correct, my DH's #'s went from 18k to 125million, so our chances are much better, praise Him!! I know our time is coming soon, whether on our own, or with the help of man. God made Dr's for a reason, and I have no problem getting some "help" Hope all is well with you dear! and I will try to post on here more often.

I do have a prayer request, my family is under attack big time, or at least I am. The past couple weeks have been awful. My husbands great grandmother passed away 3 weeks ago, and then last week Wednesday, BOTH mine and my DH's grandfathers passed away, the same night. Friday, my shingles came back, today my FIL went to the Dr to get his TSA #'s checked (he was recently treated for prostate cancer) and his #'s are back up. . .not good! And now my MIL is mad at me because we are only spending half of the day Christmas day with them and the other half with my family. It just seems like my world is crumbling. . . I need mercy! I know God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but I think my cup is full I am a basket case and just need a break. So, if y'all could please just keep me and my family in your prayers, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks in advance!! Have a great Tuesday! (sorry this is so long )

Hi Rdy!

Thanks for sharing so openly! I really appreciate your honesty. And oh boy, if you had not shared, I would have absolutely no idea of what you're going through! Its amazing how you continue to be so positive and encouraging inspite and despite of what you're going through!

I will keep u in my prayers dear. Its obvious that your entire family IS going through tough spiritual attack. I rem. Joel Osteen always saying "The tougher the problems, the greater the victory" or something in this light. Keep your hopes in the Lord dear. He will sustain and carry you through.

Thanks for asking sweets. I got my first-ever BFP yesterday! And it was confirmed today by my FS. I was so not expecting it this cycle (at all). As a matter of fact, I even tentatively "booked" a skiing holiday in Jan 2011!

 

[Guppy051708]

Nice ticker cheerios!!!

 

[Rdy2BaMom]

Yay!!! Congrats Cheerios!

 

[Dahlia]

that's amazing news, Cheerios! congrats!!! what a wait you've had!

 

[ready4onemore]

Hi ladies.

Rdy, praying for you sweetie.

Cherrios, I am so excited for you.

I will check in again later and post to everyone else.