Family are driving me mad lately - Rant sorry!

[Jayneypops]

Hi,

My OH and I have not told anyone at all that we are TTC. We dont want other people to 'get their hopes up' or have expectations, and want it to be a surprise for everyone if and when we do get pregnant!
We have been married for 2 years, and we are sure that they all thought we would probably have had our first by now. However, we both wanted to do so much before having a family that we did a bit of travelling etc and didnt feel ready until now.

My parents have made a couple of 'throw away' comments that they dont think they will ever have a Grandchild (in a joking way but meaning it I can tell), and my sister in law raised the subject with me last week. Sometimes I feel like saying ' for god sake we want a baby too, we are trying you know!!', but most of the time I just smile and say ' well, we'll see, maybe one day'.

Its driving me mad that people must be wondering if we dont want children? does that make sense?

Im sure im not alone in this but needed to rant - sorry

 

[TexasRider]

I totally understand how you feel... My parents are always on my case about having a baby.. It seems like everytime we all get together it comes up. In fact they were looking at a friend of mines new baby pictures and they have 4 kids now.. They were like "maybe you should go visit them to see if you can figure out what they are doing right!" We haven't told anyone we are trying to have a baby either.. Mostly because I don't want to deal with "Are you pregnant yet?" all the time. My OH and I have been together for 2 years as well and this is my first cycle off the pill.

So just hang in there, you will have good news to tell them soon and hopefully I will too

 

[Conina]

Are you me in disguise??? I could have written this post!! AND it was our two year anniversary at the weekend!

So far it's mostly been from ignorant people I don't really care about. The worst one was the wife of a friend of DH's - "No babies for you yet??" (Non-committal, basically polite "butt out" reply from me) "yes, I know you're really into your career" GRRRRRRR! . This from a girl who hasn't worked since she was about 3 months pregnant with her first, just 'cos I don't want to be a burden on society!!! (Sorry, off topic rant there!!)

But the other day my mum actually said "You're not having problems conceiving, are you?" I know she only says it cos she's concerned, but I just feel like saying "Look, we're doing our best, ok???"

 

[chuichi]

Same here!!
We've been married for 3 years, anniversary was last week

Friends and family keep asking us when are we getting our baby? But I can't just tell them all that we've been TTC for 1.5 years and nothing yet!!! It's so frustrating, especially so when so many friends around me have been having babies all this time and I'm still sat here with NOTHING!

 

[Jayneypops]

ahh ladies, I do feel your pain - thank you for your comments.

Why is it that there are pregnant women, babies, and baby clothes EVERYWHERE when you are TTC? Yesterday I was driving, looked to my left and there was a heavily pregnant woman, to my right a billboard with a ' from Tummy to Mummy' poster, and walking across the crossing in front of me was a woman pushing a pram! - You have to laugh!

Our friends have recently had a little one (their first) and arn't married. and we are now getting the 'its your turn next' comments - grrr!

 

[dncr1010p]

I wish we would've never told anyone we were trying! UGH. The only people that we told were our close family. I'm sick of people who arn't close family asking me if I'm pregnant yet..its upsetting. Last weekend my brother got married. I was talking to a very close friend of the family, same age as me and he and my brother grew up at the hip together. Anyways we were chatting away and my aunt comes up and says, "Are you pregnant yet? Let's get your cousin over here and have her rub your arms or something to give you some baby luck." It doesn't end there either..my cousin came over and they wanted to talk about birth control, cycles..and the close family friend, a guy, looked absolutly horrified he just had to witness those brief comments. I felt bad and he just walked off. Then I had about 4 others ask if we were pregnant yet..and they weren't even close people I would tell right off the bat if I was!

The other day at work I was helping a lady whose close friends with my SIL, and she asked if were pregnant yet and if we were trying. I wanted to say " It's none of your damn business if we are." But I didnt..

Sorry had to vent too.

 

[Jayneypops]

sounds like Im definately NOT the only one in this position.

Why cant people keep their nose out? Luckily we havnt told anyone that we are trying - people are just guessing and hoping we are I think

 

[littleprinces]

Hi Ladies, our families are the opposite, they dont want us to have a baby yet, they think we are to young, im 21 and OH is nearly 22 and they are entitled to their opinion but they should keep the snide comments to themselves because even though its said as a joke it hurts :/ We have only told a few people we are trying, close friends not the family yet! The friends are helpful but they keep getting 'intuitive feelings that im pregnant' which really gets my hopes up and its a long way to fall when I find out im not I too wish some people would butt out, I wouldnt dream of asking anyone why they havent had a baby yet or asking if they are trying or why they dont have a baby yet. I'm here if they want to talk about it but could never ask in such mean ways :'( Babydust to all of you ladies xxx

 

[AllisonH]

My mother in law used to do the same thing. Finally I had to get stern and say, "Look, I'm tired of hearing comments like that all the time. When we're ready, it'll happen." She finally got a clue and shut up about it. I did however, tell her that I am no longer on bc pills and that i'm taking prenatal vitamins. That gave her hope that at least it will happen sometime in the near future (hopefully).

 

[loveacupcake]

I was getting the when are you having a baby from my H's grandmother on our first anniversary. Granted we had dated for 7 years prior to getting married but still we wanted enjoy being married first. Now we are nearing the 3 year anniversary and I get comments every once and a while from my overly dramatic mother...

I just don't want people to know we are TTC. Our little secret.