February Valentines 2012 - We have our first Valentines!

[sparklez]

Oh, she hates being stripped down - it's killer lol - but the second she's to the breast she then falls back asleep. I'm like "..." She's like her mom, she can fall asleep anywhere, anytime, and as quickly as possible.

But thank you all, so much. I've been such waterworks this week - and I appreciate the support from you ladies. I just feel so frustrated and down sometimes, like it has to be something wrong with me because she's far too perfect in my eyes to be wrong. I know a few people I've talked to said I should have refused to formula at all, but as a FTM who wasn't 100% ready to give birth (shame on me, as I hadn't read up on things sooner), the threats of them taking her to the NICU if I let her weight slip just broke my heart. Now, I keep second-guessing if I did the right thing, and how badly I messed up with her.

Sorry, total downer post; I swear, I cried more this week so far than my entire pregnancy. I sent a lengthy message to the local LLL leader in the area, and am off to change a diaper and get this peanut awake. I know that persistence, diligence and patience are key, I just wish I could stop beating myself up in the process because it's causing a huge mind block for me. I feel awful for whatever poor LC sap ends up having to meet with me - I am bawling typing this, let along having a face-to-face about it...

I promise, I'll try not to smother our board now anymore pitiful posts like this. >.<

Don't worry about it, it's what we're here for. Can you get hold of the book by LLL 'the womanly art of breastfeeding' I've borrowed it from my local group and it's ace, it's got so many ideas in it, I'd recommend it to everyone. Hope that you get some help from LLL as soon as poss. I don't really know much but have read that feeding from a cup is better than a bottle as it avoids nipple confusion

 

[sparklez]

Oooooh - also, having acupuncture with MW tomorrow (not Physio). Think they stimulate labour points & relaxation points. Looking forward to it

That sounds great, do your midwives offer it to all mums? I've not heard of anyone round here who'll do maternity acupuncture

I've been trying to cook for the freezer recently... so I'll do lasagne for dinner for instance but make double the amount and freeze individual portions of it. Our freezer is really full though so it's hard to find the space! With little amounts of leftovers I have frozen some little versions for Ilana too so if I am going to eat late with the baby I can grab something for her to eat. For us so far I have some risotto and lasagne, not much room to do anything else!

Baby has been in the perfect position for birth for a while but suddenly I am feeling movements in places I shouldn't... get back in place please baby!


Right, I'd better go and get some food cooking for dinner tonight. Home made pizza I think!

lol I have just bought all the veg to make lasagne tomorrow and freeze half!!

 

[tiggertea]

swan

 

[AmaryllisRed]

swan-- Don't worry about crying to us; that's why we're here. And I'm sure you would not be the first highly emotional pp lady the LCs have ever talked to!
I admire you so much for persisting with BF when it isn't coming easily.

 

[swanxxsong]

I had downloaded The Womanly Art like, a day or two before going into labor, and have it on my Kindle. But I hadn't gotten through anything but a chapter or two before having her, and have been fighting to get through as much as possible as fast as possible when I get the chance. In hindsight, totally wished I had downloaded it sooner but I truly thought I had at least a month left, if not more... Ack!

 

[suzzle]

Aww Swan I really feel for you.

I'm going to say something that is probably quite controversial here, but in my honest opinion, if the BF thing doesn't work out then try to move on without beating yourself up. The baby will pick up on your stress and you don't need it either, particularly since you are still probably dealing with the shock of her coming a bit earlier. I believe breastfeeding is best UNLESS it's causing the mum to feel so overwhelmed and guilty because it's just not happening. My friend recently had her first baby and although he wasn't early, poor postnatal support amongst other things meant her milk never came in, baby was never fed properly so he was distressed and she was in a terrible ness because if the pressure that people put on to mums nowadays to breastfeed. She really felt like she was doing it all wrong and couldn't cope, etc. Literally had her on the phone crying uncontrollably for 45 mins until I managed to get her to accept that if it's not going to work or she's going to be this unhappy & have a baby with dipping weight that never settles enough for her to think straight then what harm is there in removing the 'trigger' and switching to formula. She had been trying for over a week with no real milk & just couldn't pump enough. It was awful. Anyway, she switched to formula and has since told me that she feels so much better, the baby is content & outgoing on weight & the pressure that it was putting on her relationship with her partner has gone (he didn't know what to do with her tbh).

I will be breastfeeding this time, as twice before. Normally I move onto combi feeding later on, so I am not biased - or I don't think so....?

Hopefully you can persevere and make it work for you, but really what I want to let you know is that, although it feels like it, it's not the end of the world and you are still a wonderful mum

 

[suzzle]

Oooooh - also, having acupuncture with MW tomorrow (not Physio). Think they stimulate labour points & relaxation points. Looking forward to it

That sounds great, do your midwives offer it to all mums? I've not heard of anyone round here who'll do maternity acupuncture

Sparklez, as far as I know anyone can get the MW acupuncture, usually later I think, if there are no issues that mean you need to be induced (previous section stops me being able to be induced with drugs) I think they do aromatherapy too. My consultant referred me to them, so I'm not sure if you need a referral or can self-refer.

I had been getting acupuncture from the physiotherapy dept. of the acupuncture unit until before Christmas, they have since given me a TENS machine home & it has been wonderful. I think that they are very open to the benefits of alternative therapies - which is great

 

[Guppy051708]

Swan - i think you are doing a fabulous job! i really think you're heart is in the right place and i believe you are doing everything you can do! dont feel guilty about the formula top offs as a mom, you make do with the best resources you have. It is evident to me that you are putting forth the effort. It might be a tough go now, but i believe in the coming weeks it will get easier for you. I really think you are doing the right thing with everything, and i know youre being consistant. You are such a great mama, so dont feel guilty for anything. You are doing whats best for the baby and no shame in that! i think you are doing a great job! and im glad you said something, because we are here to help

 

[Jokerette]

Swan you are clearly an amazing mom already because you car so much. Trust your gut and also the expertise of the hospital staff and people you trust. I also agree there is nothing wrong with formula top-offs and you just keep at it and if you can BF you will and if not just remember that formula is not evil... We are lucky to live in a time when we have these resources for when BF doesn't work.

 

[swanxxsong]

I'm so grateful that at least I will be able to pump enough for her without needing formula. At least, for now. We are in bed ATM and I'm leaking like mad because my poor boobs want relief. She's licking me like a cat... That's as far as we've gotten this attempt so far.

Thank you all ladies. I am so glad for the support system I have here.

 

[sparklez]

I'm so grateful that at least I will be able to pump enough for her without needing formula. At least, for now. We are in bed ATM and I'm leaking like mad because my poor boobs want relief. She's licking me like a cat... That's as far as we've gotten this attempt so far.

Thank you all ladies. I am so glad for the support system I have here.

you're such an inspiration, well done with the expressing and for persevering, good for you bet she'll get the hang of it soon, go aria xxx

 

[Guppy051708]

I def think you have plenty of milk...thats half the battle
i say whatever you are doing, keep up! soon things will click with Aria and you'll be good to go!
Just preserver and keep doing on whatever you are doing I think you're doing fab!

 

[nightkd]

I would definitely bring a breastfeeding pillow! DD was nursing for 45 minutes with like 10 minute breaks in between (she barely lost any of her birth weight and was back up to it after a couple of days!) and my arm was ACHING like crazy... I was desperate for the Boppy and once DH brought it, it was a huge relief!

As for breastpads; I didn't need them until I got home (day 3/4??) but then I REALLY needed them You could always stash a couple of pairs in your bag, just incase though.

 

[Guppy051708]

thats probably the only positive thing about having IGT...never needed the breast pads

 

[AmaryllisRed]

I never needed breast pads. Is that weird? My boobs were ginormous when I left the hospital, and a couple days later, I was rotating out cabbage leaves, and that was the extent of it.

 

[Guppy051708]

i think some woman are just lucky

me...not so lucky with the IGT but nice i didn have to deal with the mess im not even purchasing pads until i see how it goes.

 

[swanxxsong]

I have breast pads but haven't needed them yet. Then again, I haven't left my house so if I'm leaking, I grab Aria and try to shove one of my boobs in her face (poor kid) and if that doesn't work, I grab the pump.

I love, love, love the Boppy newborn lounger. My sister lent me hers and it's a blessing. Aria fits perfectly on it. Though the dog seems to think it's a bed for her so we have that battle daily. -_-

Hubby is almost home and I cannot wait. I miss him so much.

 

[Guppy051708]

I always look forward to DH coming home from work! He wont be home for another half hour tonight, but oh its such a relief...even SAHMs look forward to the weekends! gives me a little bit of a break with the extra help. ...dont get me wrong, i love my child, but even mamas need breaks!

 

[AmaryllisRed]

I don't like it when DH comes home, because he doesn't help. But when you have a newborn, it's nice even if he doesn't do anything, just to have another adult to talk to!

 

[Guppy051708]

oh man, let me come whip that man into shape!

it is nice having another adult to talk to...sometimes i get frustrated with DH when he doesnt engage in conversation with me...because ive had a toddler to talk to all day....who doesn't listen and doesnt understand lol i need the interactions!