Fed up of being made to feel guilty about formula feeding!

[jojo_b]

See, I would take a lot of the money that currently goes into "campaigning for mums to BF" and plug it into training BF supporters/counsellors, setting up support and outreach programmes, or hiring more midwives or support staff.

I was given bucketloads of information about BF'ing when I was pregnant, even after already saying that it was what I intended to do. Some of it was nothing short of propaganda, things like DVDs with Mums going on about how their BF child was never ill, about how they'd never feel as close to their baby if they'd used a bottle etc etc. Or when the MW sat and listed the supposed "Pros and cons" of BF/FF, and there was nothing bad about BF and nothing good about FF!

I would have happily traded all of the above for someone with proper training, who understood my situation in the early days. As opposed to people treating me like a menace for buzzing and asking for help. As opposed to other women just grabbing my boob and my baby, and slamming her mouth onto me. As opposed to a midwife telling me that if I left the hospital too soon, BF'ing would fail and I'd be a failure already. As opposed to a girl who looked about 12 being brought into my home (without my permission or knowledge as to who she was) who then spent hours pinching and tickling my sleeping baby to try and wake her (so she'd feed), and telling me that if LO hadn't fed after X hours then I should go to A&E, as obviously my giving her a bottle of formula had done something bad (said bottle had been given after cracking at 7am when she just would not feed from me, and all of us including DH were sobbing).

I don't feel guilty anymore, but I do feel regretful, and I feel angry that all the money seems to have gone into pushing this "breast is best" message (which even the LLL and NCT have agreed isn't the right approach). But there is no money to provide proper support post-natally.

Sorry, slightly off-topic, obviously had a rant waiting to come out

good point well made. i had a hideous experience with midwives bursting in, telling me a i was doing it wrong (when it felt fine) and doing exactly what you describe above. i ended up with a fractious baby who got stressed and anxious whenever he fed because he was used to being hauled on and off by different midwives, that he grabbed at my boob so fast i eventually couldn't get him to take the whole nipple coz he was panicking. by the time i came to leave my hospital, my nipples were raw, my confidence shattered and i felt a failure. i was sat on my bed crying and a midwife came in. she asked me what was wrong and i told her. she told me to buy him a dummy and get some sleep. i sent my husband out to get a dummy for him, and after having the dummy, my baby wouldn't properly latch any more. exhausted and miserable, i then sent DH out for a batch of formula and spent the next few weeks in floods of tears. the only reason i'm no longer constantly upset is because i never let myself think about it.

the system has failed me. i wonder if they looked at the correlation between FF mums and PND they would spot a link and perhaps twig that many mums don't BF because they can't, and the hate campaign against formula is actually making new mums ill.

sorry for rambling...very emotive topic!