Fed up of my OH making me feel crap about breastfeeding

[jeanettekaren]

All I get in an evening is "he's feeding again? He only fed x amount ago, He must not be getting enough" or "he's crying, he must be hungry again, he obviously isn't getting enough" or "he's fell asleep on the boob, he's only fed for x amount of time, he'll still be hungry" etc etc

He says he supportive of me bf'ing and he helps me in public etc but he's making me question myself all the time Finn is having issues with slow weight gain but my hv's are encouraging me to continue to exclusively bf so it can't be too bad as usually it seems they push for formula quite quickly. I've tried to get him to read info about cluster feeding and breastmilk being thinner etc but he isn't interested in educating himself he just continues to insinuate that Finn isn't getting enough to eat like I am consciously starving my baby

I'm stubborn so won't give in unless Finns issues get worse but when I start questioning myself I get upset and then start to think maybe he's right, especially in the middle of the night.

I know there are no real answers for this, just needed a rant as oh has gone to bed and Finn is asleep on the boob after feeding for less than 10 minutes and I'm staring at the formula carton wondering if i'mdoing the best for my baby

 

[ke29]

Dont doubt yourself! Lo is gaining weight, theres nothing to say it has to be a certain amount over a certain time. If Lo is falling asleep on the boob he's content! ignore him, men dont appreciate the female mind sometimes.

 

[Torz]

Dont doubt yourself, what your LO is doing is normal, babies only have small stomachs & have to feed regually.

 

[sjminimac]

you're absolutely doing the best thing for your baby. It's hard at first, especially for the blokes as they have this new little crying thing that is a strange entity and they usually only have one answer to all 'problems'! My hubby greets everything with 'give him some calpol' (he even suggested i take lo to the doctors today because he kept waking up last night! And say what? Help me doctor my baby won't sleep?!). Your oh is clinging on to the feeding thing. You just keep doing what you're doing, as you said the health professionals are all too quick to push formula so you know for sure that you're doing well! Keep coming on here too as the ladies are fab x x x

 

[cleckner04]

I agree with the others. Please don't doubt yourself. Your LO is still very young and frequent feedings are completely normal! Have you sat down and spoke with your OH to tell him how you feel about what he says?

 

[xUniquex]

is LO feeding ok hun? what is a typical feed for you? some BF babies just feed a lot !dont lose hope! you are doing the most amazing job in the world!

 

[lottie-xx]

My baby does this sometimes so my new routine is if she falls asleep fast then I lift her up and try to burp her, if she wakes up il put her on I again and repeat until she's zonked. Then il use this as time to change her nappy, the wipes are cold and wake her up (bless)then il put her on the other side. Sometimes she feeds on the second boob for so long she spits up then I try her again and she spits up again and at that point I assume she is just comfort sucking so give her a dummy and she falls asleep for about 3-4 hours each time. Sometimes as I have mastitis and i'm emptying my boob I pump afterwards anyway and il give her that in a bottle aswel (about 2 oz) it's about trying different things - I change position each time she falls asleep aswel. Hope this helps and maybe u can try wat I do? Ur doing great to have got so far ur an inspiration Xx

 

[sept2010]

I remember when lo was as young as urs and she would constantly be feeding.. Its what they do at such a young age!! Keep going.. It gets easier and lo will soon put on weight!! X

 

[kelly29]

i can sympathise with you my hubby well in fact everyone i know wonders why i always seem to have lo hanging off my boob lol well i dunno i guess she's hungry again? i always doubt myself tho i shouldn't.
i'm not 100 % sure, but if she wont settle and its boob she wants then boob she gets that's just the way it is. your hubby my hubby and everyone else that questions what your doing have no idea your doing a fab job keep it up they only have teeny tummys, so far this eve lo has mostly bn glued to the boob left and right she likes both lol she is a BOOBAHOLIC i think most bf mums would agree x

 

[venusrockstar]

It's totally normal for it to seem like all they ever do is feed. You are almost over the 6-8 week hump, so it should start to get better real soon. Hang in there!

 

[minties]

You are doing everything right and your LO sounds so normal!

My bub is the same and my partner questions me about it too. He isn't doing it to be spiteful, he can't feed the baby so he's just trying to be a part of it the only way he knows how, by being annoying lol!

Babies find the breast extremely comforting, it's such a cosy thing being tucked up next to you. It's natural to fall asleep when they breastfeed, they are just so content and relaxed.

 

[NaturalMomma]

Just tell him that he's not helping, only hurting, so to please stop saying things like that. You're doing fine, many babies are like this. ds2 is a frequent feeder. He use to be eating every 1 1/2 hours until 6 months old, and he was gaining a lot. Don't doubt yourself.

 

[Farie]

your doing great

 

[summer rain]

My OH was like this with our eldest, he'd never seen BF before in real life, my midwife cleverly engineered a conversation between me and her on the benefits of BF my dh walked in curious and his mind was totally changed there and then, he is now one of the most pro-bf people I know xx

 

[tuesday]

My Oh used to be like this. I told him to f'**k off in the end because he stressed me so much. He left me alone after that. I think he is still getting used to having a baby around. He doesn't have to worry as its not him feeding bub I also point out all the good stuff about breast feeding and he has got used to it now and wants me to continue. I also point out that WHO recommend 1.breast milk 2.expressed breast milk 3.donor milk 4.formula

There was also a thread yesterday on here comparing what breast milk contains compared to formula which impressed OH

 

[Lownthwaite]

You are doing great! What you are mentioning about your LO is typical of a BF baby, I really wouldn't worry. I would talk to your OH and explain to him how he is making you feel. I would also get the formula out the house - I have never had formula in the house - would be to easy to resort to it in the middle of the night when you are stressed and under pressure. You are doing the best thing for your baby, don't let anyone tell you different.

 

[jeanettekaren]

Thanks ladies

We went to the gp this morning and came out with a diagnosis of reflux and a prescription for infant gaviscon.

My oh is feeling suitably sheepish as he was told poor weight gain, poor night sleeping and constant nursing are common symptoms and probably the most important piece of information for him, that breast milk is the best thing for Finn, especially with reflux.

All these things were previously used by him as reasons why Finn wasn't getting enough to eat while being exclusively breastfed and making me feel like I couldn't provide for my baby at the most basic level.

Fingers crossed we see results with the gaviscon

 

[kmac625]

Glad to hear the doctor set your dh straight, though it's too bad Finn has reflux. Hopefully the gaviscon fixes that right up.

My dh is the opposite though, anytime Clara gets even the tiniest bit fussy when he's holding her/playing with her his first instinct is to say "oh do you want some boob?". Sometimes all she needs is to be in a different position or she's bored with what they're playing with, but he always just passes her off to me instead lol.

 

[ryder]

men are jackass's... just ignore him because men always question everything parenting related. My oh is supportive of bfing, but other things I generally just ignore anything that comes out of oh's mouth with the kids LOL

 

[ryder]

lol kmac, just read your post, thats exactly what my oh does, the second peytion fusses he is like "peyton wants his boobies!"