Fed up! Thought it was going to be our month!

[cvaeh]

I have been ttc for 14 months and have never experienced any symptoms until this month.
I got really bad cramps at 9dpo (thought was implantation) and a streak of blood in discharge a short time after. I started to get really tired and slightly sick. I really thought we had managed to concieve (I am 29 and husband 31). I took a clearblue test and got a BFN this morning 12dpo. Virtually as soon as I took the test I got a streak of blood.
Every month I cry and get upset and my husband says cheer up we'll try again next month. I've had day 3 and day 21 bloods done and all came back normal. My husband has been tested too. The doctor persuaded me to wait a couple more months and then would try me on Clomid but I can't see what good that will do if I am already ovulating.
Everyone around me seems to be having babies and I am so jealous! If one more person tells me to relax and it will happen I will scream!
Any advice would be great, I've just ordered some pressed and have been using a Clearblue fertility monitor for the last 7 months so know I am doing it at the right time.
Also, do you count the days in between ovulation and coming on or is the day of ovulation counted as a day of the luteal phase?
xxx

 

[Ebony_Blaze]

Hi Hun

aw sorry to hear, I know exactly how you feel. I'm in similar boat to you, been ttc 15 months now, my bloods were fine, dh sa fine. I did have a scan and got told I have polycystic ovaries but not a bad case abs nurse seems to think I can still get pregnant naturally.

Have you had a hsg / hycosy ? And a scan ?

I had a pelvic scan first and now awaiting to book my hycosy as soon as I get to cd1 I need to call in, currently cd28 of 29/30 cycle !

The best bit of advice I can give you, which worked a little for me is
don't think 'were try again next month ' think of the bigger picture and think right we will hopefully get pregnant 'soon' don't add added pressure on yourselfs, as there's enough there already. It really helped for me, just think it will happen for you, it will just take a bit longer and in the mean time do everything and anything you can to take your mind off it. Obviously you need to give yourself the odd day where your not going to feel as positive but you have the right to have bad days too.

Also from cd1 give yourself one thing everything, that's different if you can, and say right I'm going to do this today, and it's got to be something you wouldn't be able to do Shem you are pregnant, obviously it doesn't have to be downing a bottle of wine which will just work against your chances, but maybe the one or 2 glass of wine or a massage or a nightout or anything that you see as a treat, if you write it down, you won't forget to reward yourself and it gives you something to look forward to.

Sounds daft, but it has really worked for me and I have had less down days now.

As for the annoying people who say just relax !
My mum is one of them love her heart
I tend to think don't listen, don't talk about it to that particular person and block them out !

Yes it's annoying people announcing their pregnancies, heart breaking but I think well at least people are getting pregnant, although WE want it sooo much
and maybe more as some people don't even have to try
but I like to think it makes the percentages up there if that makes sense, which is great and other people getting pregnant don't affect my chances.

Hope you feeling better

Xx

 

[WinterSong4]

I know what you mean. DH and I have been trying for 2 years. Thinking it would just happen naturally but didn't so we finally started really pushing things. Had DH tested recently and Dr. told us there were some abnormalities with his motility but, wont know more until we sit and speak with Dr. in a couple weeks.

It really is frustrating to see other people around you pregnant and even worse..on their 2nds! And yes, its getting rather aggravating when people say "it will happen". I know they mean well.

Considering my history, I fear my tubes may be blocked and the procedure for that to e cleared I hear is rather painful depending on the woman. Just try and stay positive! I know it isn't easy when each month, especially those you really think its happened, results in a BFN.

Hang in there! You aren't alone

 

[Ebony_Blaze]

Hi wintersong4

why do you feel your tubes are blocked ?

I feel the same because when I had my pelvic scan the sonographer asked if I've had any operations so I'm thinking he might have seen something, maybe scar tissue ?
So I'm expecting them to say I have blocked tubes .

I'm awaiting my hycosy to see if they are clear but I'm so nervous

X

 

[cvaeh]

Hi Ebony_Blaze

Thanks for your reply. It is just good knowing there is someone out there that is going through something similar.

Yes I've had an ultra-sound and all appears normal.

I have noticed the last few months my cycle is getting shorter (from 32 to 26 days). I don't know whether this is a problem or not or if you have anything similar.

I hope we both get pregnant soon xxx

 

[MariaF]

Hiya, we've been ttc 14 months too now! Im 28 and DH is 35.

I have been diagnosed with PCOS and although you may think it's better than having no diagnosis it's still really tough. Ive now had 3 rounds of Clomid and all of them have been very tough....and I have my doubts about the last one...

Trouble is hubby still hasn't been tested because NHS takes such an age

In your case Id say you need to get your tubes checked. Also, it can be the case that your cervical mucus is hostile to sperm. In which case pressed may help. Or IUI should do the trick.
I also don't see any point in giving you Clomid - I feel the doctors are too quick to give it out and it is a serious hormonal drug with some potential consequences...

How long is your luteal phase? If it's less than 10 days chances are you are conceiving but the egg just can't implant!

And it is soooo frustrating to hear others (who all have kids and had no problems conceiving) telling you to relax! It's like telling a cancer patient to relax....now, no one would do that, would they?!

Most of my friends are either pregnant or had babies and all of them conceived within 6 months so from that point of view I don't have anyone to talk to. Hence this forum is such a Godsend!!

 

[WinterSong4]

Hi Ebony_Blaze

My DH back when we first started dated gave me Chlamydia when we first had sex. He was my first ever and I was his 2nd or 3rd so I know it was him who gave it to me!

We had it taken care of pretty quick but, from what I hear Chlamydia can do some damage. That is pretty much the only reason. I know I have Ovarian Cysts because I had one burst about 3 years ago and still feel them twisting from time to time. I don't think I have PCOS since I have no symptoms of it but, I could always be wrong!

I am only doing non-invasive(surgery) tests first. If those tests don't tell them anything and we still don't get preggo then, I will resort to surgery for further testing. DH and I really hope this is the month! Would love to tell our Families of our sticky bean success for Christmas

Good luck to you and let us know what they say! My appt is Nov. 16th.

 

[Ebony_Blaze]

Mariaf you are so right.

My lp is about 13 days so think that's about right?
Would love to have a little camera inside to see what exactly goes on !

Oh maria so your doc hasn't sent your dh for his sa ?
Could you ask him to ?
Also I was told from my nurse I probably won't get clomid as I ovulate so do you not ovulate then ? I have heard good and bad about it but don't know enough about it.

Not really sure what's the next stage for us after my hycosy

X

 

[Ebony_Blaze]

Good luck for the 16th, not too long to wait, let us know what they say !
I'm hoping that's the week they will book me in for my hycosy fingers crossed

x

 

[MariaF]

Mariaf you are so right.

My lp is about 13 days so think that's about right?
Would love to have a little camera inside to see what exactly goes on !

Oh maria so your doc hasn't sent your dh for his sa ?
Could you ask him to ?
Also I was told from my nurse I probably won't get clomid as I ovulate so do you not ovulate then ? I have heard good and bad about it but don't know enough about it.

Not really sure what's the next stage for us after my hycosy

X

I don't ovulate because of PCOS hun Before starting Clomid I went for 4 months without a period

And yes, we have asked for DH to be tested but were told that because it's not been a year yet (that was 3 months ago) he couldn't be tested...Which seems weird to me because they were happy to put me on Clomid So I am actually wondering if Im taking these pills for nothing because DH may have problems too...
We have been to the docs since (exactly a month ago this week) and are STILL waiting for the forms to come through to book him in for an appointment . Im ging back to see the Dr tomorrow because calling the surgery to find out about the forms is not getting us anywhere!

 

[cvaeh]

Hi maria

my lp is about 12 days but the first two days are not much more than spotting. do you count the day you ovulate as a day in the luteal phase or the day after?
I got so upset on sunday about it all we ended up talking to my husbands mum and dad about it. it turns out that it took them five years to concieve and were only successful when they stopped trying. my husbands dad is a doctor so he has arranged for me to see a fertility specalist at his hospital for a second opinion. she is a lady so hopefully she'll be more sypathetic than the last doctor i saw, he kind of just dismisses us.
i hope you got your appointment okay xxJ

 

[Hoping1986]

I hope you ladies dont mind me crashing in but I've been following the thread and maybe someone has advice for me...

I am 24 yrs old, been ttc for 5 YEARS with my husband. Always got reg 26 day cycles, but nothing was happening. Was too embarressed to see a specialist or even talk about it well a few months ago I saw a re and I have a 9.6 fsh and when I did an hsg the fluid only went through one tube correctly. After sending me to do all these labs the doc basically said to me "looks like you have POF and you will not be able to conceive, so see about IVF with someone else's eggs" I barely held back tears as I walked out of his office. I started doing my own research online and saw that taking DHEA is beneficial to high fsh. So I have been taking a low dosage. last month I did enough research on Soy Iso and liked what I saw. So as my AF came on monday (11/8) I started Soy on cd2 (100mg) so Im hoping that maybe this will be one of those "I tried for so long and BAM a miracle" lol


oh and in 2004 I did get pregnant with husband (he was just a bf back then) but my mom basically forced me into an abortion

 

[cvaeh]

Hi
i'm not sure i can offer any advice really but i would certainly ask for a second opinion.
its worth trying everything, i've started to drink a cup of green tea a day hoping it will help.
good luck this month! x

 

[WinterSong4]

I agree, a second opinion would be for the best. I have heard alot of doctors tell women they will never bear children but end up having babies. Its always possible!

Sucks about the abortion. Just keep trying without trying if you know what I mean