Feel crappy, put on weight since miscarriage :(

[MissBabyFace]

I had a miscarriage in December and to be honest since, I havent really been looking after myself, I spent 2 months eating good things and a further 10 weeks of pregnancy eating good for me and my baby, since December I've been awfully depressed and havent been looking at what I'm eating etc...

Out of curiosity I weighed myself to see how much I've gained since December and I've gained 3 stone how could I have let myself get this huge! It's just made me feel worse, I have no way of conceiving now.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

I gained after losing Wylder and I lost him/her Sept 09 and i still am trying to lose that weight. I weighed about 155 and now im pushing 165.

 

[hollyw79]

Gaining weight will NOT prevent you from conceiving. I was over 200 pounds when I conceived my son- I lost a lot and I'm not that heavy any more- but I had NO problem conceiving- here I am A LOT lighter and here I am struggling to conceive even though I'm at a normal weight. I'm not saying it's a good thing to gain weight- but don't count yourself out and don't be so hard on yourself. It's very understandable... I gained some weight after the MC to and I'm not happy about it. Just take it one step at a time and you'll get back to where you were!

 

[JPARR01]

I had a miscarriage in December and to be honest since, I havent really been looking after myself, I spent 2 months eating good things and a further 10 weeks of pregnancy eating good for me and my baby, since December I've been awfully depressed and havent been looking at what I'm eating etc...

Out of curiosity I weighed myself to see how much I've gained since December and I've gained 3 stone how could I have let myself get this huge! It's just made me feel worse, I have no way of conceiving now.

I totally understand how you are feeling! I really let myself go after the m/c and put on a bunch of weight. I started weight watchers like 2 weeks ago and lost like 3 pounds and thats it! It is so frustrating. I can't help it though, I LOVE FOOD!!!!!

 

[MissBabyFace]

Thanks girls for replying;

- @OnErth&InHvn - so sorry for your loss hun, yeah, atleast you've only gained 10 pounds I just feel so mastuge!

- @hollyw69 - that's quite boosted me the fact that you conceived when you were "big" I've always been "curvy" but now I'm just fat! it's quite depressing. Hope you conceive soon sweetie.

- @JPARR01 - It's really hard though ain't it, like after the miscarriage I should've been eating less but ended up eating more and because I was in SO much pain excercise was not on my to do list, but got so depressed as the 2-3 weeks after my miscarriage OH was ill and in bed for them weeks and I was still rushing around after everything and making "easy" food which clearly isnt healthy!

 

[JPARR01]

There is a reason we eat those "easy" foods... it's because they are comfort foods. At least to me they are LOL (pizza, chicken fingers, french fries, etc.) YUMMM! I came to the realization that I will never look like I did when I was 21

 

[hollyw79]

There is a reason we eat those "easy" foods... it's because they are comfort foods. At least to me they are LOL (pizza, chicken fingers, french fries, etc.) YUMMM! I came to the realization that I will never look like I did when I was 21

SO true! (SIGH) The older you get~ the harder it is to lose AND maintain.

 

[Cosmos]

I feel your pain! After my MC in November/Dec. I've put on 5+ lbs. and on top of that have been in so much pain between OV and AF that I haven't been up for exercising at all. It's a really painful situation to be in. Hang in there girl, here's hoping it gets better for all of us.

 

[LittleBird]

OMG, I saw the title of this thread and had to come see. First, I feel so sorry for your loss! And the subsequent weight gain -- it's so hard. It's like adding insult to injury. I know when I had MC1 and then MC2 I was feeling very self-conscious about my own abilities to carry a baby. I was feeling so down. Then you add the weight to that, I had my Methotrexate injection in November so that month plus part of December were spent waiting for the number to get back to 0. The sadness of losing a baby, the INSANE ABUNDANCE of yummy, fattening foods during the holidays... It all came together at the same time and I gained almost 30 lbs. And it seemed to happen so quickly, too! I was at the same weight I was when DS1 was born! 9 mos. pregnant! Thinking about that, and how my weight will increase with a pregnancy, I was really feeling like I was going down a bad path and couldn't find my way back...

My self confidence has really taken a hit during all of this. I work from home, so I don't see people all the time, and when I have to go out of the house to do things, I feel so uncomfortable.

Now I'm working with a FS. When I had my consultation, she did ask me about my weight, but really I have never been skinny. She wasn't saying that I would not be able to have a baby at this weight, just wondering whether things had changed much from when I got pregnant the first time 6 years ago. She didn't tell me to go away until I got my weight back down. Part of me is scared to get pregnant at this weight because its like resetting your normal weight here and getting back down to where I was before will be that much harder. But another part of me is scared that if I put off pregnancy longer, I'll be missing my chance. So I have considered the options and decided that I'll have to worry about weight later. I do try to eat healthy food and watch my portion sizes, but I like food...

I think it's a balance. You want to think about your plan for your weight and feel like you're working toward the right direction. Even if it's drinking more water and cutting out some things that you know are bad for you. Once you feel comfortable there, add an improvement. But when you're TTC, you can't go to extremes because you are also trying to make the right decisions for a pregnancy or even the possibility of pregnancy.

 

[MRS_HJO]

Hey, I've gained a lot of weight too since we decided to start trying. I used to be on a medication called Topamax (for my migraines) that kept me really skinny. I stopped that in December along with birth control. Let's just say that when I was married last September, I was 117lbs. Now I'm 139lbs. I'm sure it's a healthier weight for pregnancy, but it upsets me so much. Not only do I feel incompetent due to not being able to have a healthy baby, but now I feel so down on myself for being heavy. I feel like my husband and his family are secretly sitting there saying, she has let herself go. But, it's been EXTREMELY hard to lose the weight I gained during the pregnancy and right after... I'm working out 5-6 days a week, running, doing classes, weights, etc. I honestly think my body just wants to hold onto that for whatever reason. Anyway, you are not alone.

 

[LittleBird]

I feel like my husband and his family are secretly sitting there saying, she has let herself go.

Yeah, I have those fears too... My husband and I are coming from different cultures and I feel like with them, appearance is so important. The women are so gorgeous and dress up all the time with their makeup and nails done. I have never really been a girly girl, so I walk in with my jeans and hardly any makeup. Like, never lipstick! When you're comfortable with your weight it's hard to pull that off. When you're feeling down on yourself, the other things are just multiplied!

 

[Tweak0605]

I'm so sorry.

I'm dealing with the same thing. I started gaining weight after my wedding last June, but then started eating right and working out.

Once I got PG, I continued eating healthy, but didn't work out due to the exhaustion. I've probably gained 20-30 lbs in roughly a year. I don't even want to look at the scale now, after my m/c 2 months ago. I stopped working out after the m/c and emotionally ate. I definitely didnt watch what I ate and ate horribly.

I'm eating healthy again, and starting to work out again. I just went jeans shopping yesterday, and on top of feeling down about the m/c still, that definitely didn't help. It was horrible.

Hang in there!

 

[Ducktales]

me too,to be honest i feel like i cant be arsed with worrying about what i eat and that my focus is on TTC
however, started calorie counting today, so hopefully this will be my focus rather than living for O day then torturing myself with the 2WW
big hugs everyone
xxxx

 

[MissBabyFace]

Yeah before I got pregnant I'd lost almost a stone and a half and it's all piled back on with extra pounds too!

I agree girls, it's just comfort food and usually when I wanted to lose weight and I'd do it I mean I proved to myself I could do it, I lost a stone and a half in 3 weeks so it's not like I can't do it just haven't got any motivation to lose it plus, when I lose weight I really go for it, I calorie count and I exercise to the limit, so my excuse is always "what if I exercise and I over do it and I find out I'm pregnant and I lose the baby" I know it's not a rational way of thinking it's an "excuse".

 

[hollyw79]

Well, I'm not going to try and say not to exercise- but I'm seeing a fertility specialist and I was told by him AND my OB to do no running or anything that breaks a sweat in the 2ww.. so if you DO exercise- take it easy. I DID jog lightly before I mc in January- when I went to my first appt- they told me to stop- but the first 5 1/2 weeks I did- so I won't lie- I question it now ---- and it SUCKS not exercising- I'm a runner and do it daily- but please be careful- better to be a little heavy and pregnant! Just watch what you eat a little more and that should help

 

[Tweak0605]

Well, I'm not going to try and say not to exercise- but I'm seeing a fertility specialist and I was told by him AND my OB to do no running or anything that breaks a sweat in the 2ww.. so if you DO exercise- take it easy. I DID jog lightly before I mc in January- when I went to my first appt- they told me to stop- but the first 5 1/2 weeks I did- so I won't lie- I question it now ---- and it SUCKS not exercising- I'm a runner and do it daily- but please be careful- better to be a little heavy and pregnant! Just watch what you eat a little more and that should help

Thanks for that info Holly! I was gonna stop doing the elliptical during the TWW, and this just reaffirmed my thoughts. I'll stick to plain walking during that time frame.

 

[hollyw79]

Well, I'm not going to try and say not to exercise- but I'm seeing a fertility specialist and I was told by him AND my OB to do no running or anything that breaks a sweat in the 2ww.. so if you DO exercise- take it easy. I DID jog lightly before I mc in January- when I went to my first appt- they told me to stop- but the first 5 1/2 weeks I did- so I won't lie- I question it now ---- and it SUCKS not exercising- I'm a runner and do it daily- but please be careful- better to be a little heavy and pregnant! Just watch what you eat a little more and that should help

Thanks for that info Holly! I was gonna stop doing the elliptical during the TWW, and this just reaffirmed my thoughts. I'll stick to plain walking during that time frame.

Yeah ~ better to have no regrets. I am like addicted to running~ so it's a real frustration to not be able to.. but I'd rather be safe than sorry. I run like heck pre-2ww but not during.. and especially after the mc~ no way- just not worth it. There will be plenty of time to get in shape AFTER the !

 

[MissBabyFace]

Thanks hun! You give real good advice xx

 

[MRS_HJO]

so my excuse is always "what if I exercise and I over do it and I find out I'm pregnant and I lose the baby" I know it's not a rational way of thinking it's an "excuse".

Hey, I feel the same way about exercising.... I'm so afraid that the exercise I'm doing right now will reduce my chances of conceiving. I go to a cardio class that is running and squats, and i'm worried that will cause the baby not to implant or cause a m/c. It's not stupid, it's a real concern.

To add to the "taking it easy" thing... My doctor told me to continue the same exercise I was doing before. He said that as long as you don't start a new difficult exercise program, you're fine. He encourages working out... I also told him I was concerned about it causing a m/c... He had to keep repeating himself: NOTHING YOU DID/OR DO WILL CAUSE A MISCARRIAGE. That's just my doctor's opinion.

 

[Michelle78]

My doctor also told me that I could continue the same exercise program that I do now. He said that he would not advise taking up running for the 1st time during pregnancy, but that if you are already someone that runs that continuing that is fine.

I am going to be trying again in July, and I probably will curtail running outside because it is about 95 degrees here with 95% humidity in July, but I am going to keep up some kind of physical activity. I stopped exercising with my last round of treatment, and I lost the baby anyway, and then added on top of that I didn't feel good about myself because I was not in the shape I was in before.

It has taken being back into running for about the past 4-5 weeks to start to see some of that weight come off. Although I'm sure the glasses of wine and my overactive sweet tooth have something to do with it taking that long!

You are absolutely not alone in the way you feel