Or smoke roll ups either! She also cant swear, or talk about sex or inaprropriate things that you dont talk about in front of children. My little sisters know everything and anything, they have never been allowed to be children and it upsets me that she has messed up again! The amount of times, I have had to tell her to tell the twins to leave the room before she talks about her " topics " but all I get is, " Dont tell me how to bring up my kids " . you should see how " grown up " they are for there age and not in a good way either. 
I am going to buy that book off amazon now, as I think I glanced at it in waterstones once and I think it will help me a lot. 
Rose,
Sounds like you've already gotten a lot of support -- hope you don't mind me chiming in. My Mom, isn't quite as bad, but she's far from "good". I also wish I had a Mom I was close to right now, the feeling almost overwhelms me sometimes. I have spent most of my life looking for a "mother figure" and never found one. My husband was a very late child and is older than me, so his mom is in her late 70s -- doesn't make for a close relationship.
Anyway, I wanted to say I know how it feels and I'm here.
I have a very difficult relationship with my mother and I know how hard and hurtful it can be. Like the other girls have said maybe some voluntary work would give you a bit more to do and make you feel like you are a good person 
Just remember you'll be great with your little girly xxx
it makes me really sad for you! maybe after she sees this grandbaby it'll change something in her. maybe it will make her a little softer and nicer and caring... hopefully. if not though, i would just say not to try anymore. it seems like you are trying so hard to get along with her and just to get her to be nice to you and she just won't... she will realize what she is missing out on when she pushes you so far away that you don't talk to her anymore.
and they very often let us down! So apart from everything the girls have said already about rules when she will be seeing your daughter I will tell you something a dear friend of mine told me last year when I was feeling depressed with it all. . . he promised me that when I had my own family it will all seem more distant. . . and I will focus on my baby so much that I will kind of "forget" . . .
Hi Ladies,
I am quite a private person in real life, and I dont usually like talking about personal things but Im feeling like I dont know what to do about the mother situation! Im starting to feel so isolated and depressed about it all I have told her how I feel on many occasions but she never seems to listen..
To cut a long story short, I was on the child protection register from the age of 3, and my mother now has a criminal record for the things she did to me as a child.
This is my first child, and I really wish I had a mother to share my pregnancy with, I feel so happy for you all when you talk about your mothers going to scans, and they have gone shopping with you and they have bought you nice things e.t.c but I can only dream what that feels like and its beginning to hurt so much. I dont know what its like to love a mother. She only usually calls me to have a go at me about something or another, I almost always end up crying.
We are in contact, begrudgingly on my part as I have twin sisters who are only 13 years old but I only get negativity from her. She has nothing positive to say to me, and when I told her I was pregnant I practically had to drag a congratulations out of her. Just to give you an example of the most recent conversations Ive had..
My mum said to me last week " How far gone are you now, 10 weeks? "
When I told her I was having a girl she says " But I thought you was convinced you were having a boy? I would have liked a grandson "
" Why are you calling her Abigail, Abigail? I dont like that name at all, and Mae doesnt go as a middle name. "
Latest one..
" Oh, my friend really wants to see a photo of the baby as soon as its born "
Why mum?
" Oh because she wants to see if the baby is ugly or not? "
The last one may shock you all, but it doesnt shock me in the slightest, she has said much worse. Being hormonal and all, I have had some really emotional moments with her on the phone about the things she says to me, but all I get told is
" Dont get upset now, as you know I have had stillbirths because I got too upset in my pregnancy, you dont want your child to come out funny! "
I know I have my fiance and he loves me dearly, but I feel so alone. We live in Surrey together, but his family live in Hampshire so I dont get to see them very often. He has one sister, that I keep contact with via facebook and phone calls e.t.c His mother passed away before we even got together which I am sad about as she sounds like someone I would have really got on with.
My mum also recently told me that " she finds it hard to look at me because I remind her of my father who she hated " To be honest, I think I always knew this deep down but who wants to admit to themselves that there own mother doesnt even want to look in your direction which is probably why I have had such bad self image all my life. She doesnt sound like she wants to be a grandmother and I feel sad that my beautiful little girl wont has a grandmother like this..
Anyway, I could go on but I already feel like Im laying myself bare by telling you what I have..
Just felt like I needed to get it out, I hope you dont judge me ladies
