Feel so guilty for feeling okay about MC

[Trying4first1]

Thanks Hopie 😊 Thankfully appointment has now been moved to 14th March hopefully the other test results will follow soon after.

You are so like me. I always think the worst too. I think it's. A defence mechanism. I think if I prepare for the worst then I can handle it better. Like you both me and DH have discussed adoption and have decided if we carry on miscarrying then that is the route that we will take.

Being at home prob does make you worry more. I find that when I am alone I think too much. I'm sure you get the same way? I find myself needing to be around others as I hate my own company. O cried the other day because I was so happy that someone was popping round to see me. I'm such an emotional wreck these days

Best of luck for next Thursday. I just know all will be ok

 

[hopie2015]

Hi Trying!
How has your week been going?

Yes, I definitely worry more since I am alone so often. The isolation isnt good for me and I stay at my parent's during the week since they are ill and with OH on weekends. I know if I were surrounded by people at work all day, I would do better. But then again my old job was so toxic and I am so sick, there is no way working still would have been good for me!

So yes, we are going in to the scan this week with a back-up plan. If the news is bad, I really want to start on adoption right away. I can tell OH is still not thrilled about adopting. But at my age, it will be only option. He is so excited and happy that if the news is bad I will be most shattered for him, not myself.

Just feeling crummy all week but Zofran seems to be stopping the constant vomiting thank God! I thought scan was tomorrow but it is Friday. I'm going in prepared for the worst and not even hoping for the best. Prepared for instant bad news or to hear it looks like a chromosome abnormality is likely from the NT. Sad, I guess but like you said it is a defense mechanism.

Let me know how you're doing. Next time I write, I should know a lot more!
Take care~

 

[Trying4first1]

Hi Hopie

Week has been ok. Thank you. Been mega busy which is good. Tiring but def could to be busy. How has your weeke been?

Sound alike your old job would not be a good place for you right now. Sometimes we need to think of ourselves more and do what is best for our minds as well as our bodies.

I know what you mean about the defence mechanism. So sad isn't it that we think that way. Next time I am going to expect a loss as soon as the test comes back positive. Awful I know but having three already I know that outcome is the most likely for us.

Really hoping your scan went well. Please update me when you can

 

[hopie2015]

Hi Trying,

I agree. Busy is good. Glad you are doing well. And yes- that old job would have been way too toxic for me. It was at the time, so during this pregnancy, I wouldn't have survived!

Much to my shock, the scan went well. OH and I left there with our jaws dropped, in shock, everyone was staring at us in the waiting room. Really expected the worst.
Another 10 days until my genetic blood results are in. At high risk for trisomies, so fingers crossed. I have a too-low placenta, dr. said they have to watch.
I figure it is always going to be something!

Yes, i guess the defense mechanism sure works for us after losses. It is a shame we can't relax and enjoy our pregnancies, but I've accepted this is how it is. I prepare for the worst and hope and pray for the best. Day by day. If it weren't for my darn age, I would be more optimistic!

I really, really have such a positive feeling for you in the future. My friend was telling me of her sister who had 3 losses and now is 36 weeks. My dr. was telling me of people having multiple losses and then have 1 or 2 healthy, easy pregnancies.

We have to keep the faith. I am praying and hoping for you!! Take good care and talk soon!

 

[Trying4first1]

so glad your scan went well! Fab news! Don't worry so much about placenta as it could move over time. Fingers crossed for genetics!

I agree. We have been robbed of the lovely view of pregnancy. Next time I am going to be so on edge. Even more so. As soon as the test is positive I am going to expect a MC again. Such a shame. But it is what it as as you say.

It's lovely to hear of success stories. I know they happen and most women go in to have a child. I just hope we are the lucky ones. Some days I feel positive and others totally hopeless and fearful that I will remain childless.

Take care of yourself. Hoepfully I will have some updates from my hysteroscopy in two weeks time and you can share your news too 😊

We need to stay strong

 

[hopie2015]

Just! How are you? i hope things are going well.

Thanks very much. Was a real good shock seeing the baby at the scan. I know I will be just as nervous at my 16 wk scan and every one after.
All I can do is take it day by day.

Sorry for the delay..have had trouble keeping up with everything in life this sickness has been so bad still.

I truly believe you will be one of the lucky ones. So many on the board I am on have had 2 or 3 or losses and now everything is going great for them. Unfortunately it is quite common. I keep you in my prayers and I can't wait to see you on here the next year announcing your big news.
I do believe if we want something badly enough in life, we can make it happen. A friend of mine was told she could never have kids...she now has two!

I should have my genetic blood test results back any day. Nervous wreck about that. Because of age they sometimes get false positives for being at high risk, so hoping I don't have to get an amnio too.

Wishing you a great day and hope you are feeling good this week!

 

[Trying4first1]

Oh my goodness!
So sorry hopie, I have just seen this!

How did your genetic tests go!? Well I hope

I have now had my hysteroscopy (awful painful experience) and my womb and ovaries are perfect and womb is the right shape.
No news on the karyotyping just yet. But we have been told not to expect any answers.

Me and DH got carried away and BD on Friday eve without protection (too much wine) and I got a blazing positive OPK yesterday which I was shocked about. I know it's not likely to result in anything but I know we should be waiting really. Hope you are doing nothing well