feel so upset ... but i know i shouldnt

[LovemyBubx]

Just need to let my feelings out I would love to hear if any of you feel the same.

It took me ages to convince OH we are ready to have another baby and he is now just as excited as me to give DD a sibling.

When we first started trying in september I completely believed I would be pregnant by Christmas.

Well AF started today it didn't take long to conceive DD so I suppose like a lot of women think it would be just as easy this time ... but no.

I also feel like time is running out because

I have always wanted no more then a 5 year gap between children. (I just can't think about a bigger gap. There is a 6 year gap between me and my only sibling and I hate it)

We can't try in march because we don't want baby's due date to be at Christmas and we can't try in June because mine and DD birthday is in march don't want another !

I'm feeling like its not going to happen and I'm just so upset am I crazy ?

 

[chimmi]

don't mean this to sound horrible in any way, but be greatful for what you have - a healthy child, some of us don't even have that!
i know everyones journey is different, but keep positive and dont give up

 

[chimmi]

We started trying for a baby September 2012... I wish it would happen so fast for all of us but sometimes not..!

 

[Mrs Cupcake]

i know where you are coming from a little as i dont want a xmas baby either, i really want a september baby but it doesnt look like that is going to happen. will try next month but then we will wait a bit. i reaaly want all3 really close together.

i can understand not wanting an xmas baby but why not share march for birthdays? about 6 members of my family all have may birthdays and it is fine - lots of fun.

 

[gonnagetabump]

I've been trying for 11 cycles. I have a child but my husband has none of his own. I'm very frustrated because we talk about it all the time. ..... Having a baby and making him a daddy. My son is 8.5 years old. Even pregnant this month my son will be nearly ten. Its ok to feel how u feel.

 

[Rhapsodi]

DH and I were NTNP from Aug 2008-april2010. Since then we've been TTC. I don't even want to calculate how long it has taken. However, this is our last year TTC then we will go back to NTNP. I just can't keep going and finally set a date to just be done and letting nature take its course. If I'm not pg in 1yr I will grieve and move on. We currently have 2FSs who we hope will be part of our forever family. Keeping them safe is our #1 job right now anyways. Maybe there is another plan for you. If we would have gotten pg before AUG2011 we would not be where we are now. I'm thankful we didn't conceive now in hindsight, even though it still hurts.

I agree be very thankful for what you have. What ever is meant to be will happen. It can always be worse.

 

[LovemyBubx]

I don't want another march baby because I worry children will have the same birthday mine is only 2 days before DD's.

I am incredibly greatful to be blessed with a daughter she is my world. I wanted another baby when she was 2 its taken me this long to get OH on the same page.

I realise there is always someone going through a harder time. I did put in the title 'I know I shouldn't' because I know I am still lucky.

I wanted to hear from ladies who feel the same. I did put this above.

Now I just feel worse thankyou

 

[Curligurl]

Having a birthday around Christmas kind of sucks but it's not he end of the world...(my birthday is 12-26). Growing up I didn't get to have birthday parties with my friends because school was out...but as I've gotten older I've started celebrating my birthday a couple weeks before Christmas...

As far as having many birthdays in the same month I agree with PP, you get to have one big celebration! My son and DH birthdays are 4 days apart....and usually falls on Father's Day weekend so every year we have a huge party that all our friends and family look forward to.

Try not to be so upset about the timing...it just adds to the stress of TTC.

 

[squeaky1983]

Don't give up hope, you can overthink things, which i've come to learn can affect things in a major way.

We've been been ttc for 5 years on new years day, never had a bfp. You just need to do what you do and accept that what will be will be.

I pray and hope that one day I will be a mother, but if this goes on for much longer I know my chances are shot. (my dh just turned 54, we don't want to be much older!)

GL

 

[munchie82]

My son will be 9 in Feb and we are trying at the moment. Sometimes a bigger age gap is inevitable, there's nothing you can do about it but it is OK to feel the way you feel. Really hope it happens for you soon.xxxx

 

[gonnagetabump]

Yeah idc when I have a baby...ill feel blessed ...either way.

 

[Yo_Yo]

Hugs, hope it happens soon for you.

We are also avoiding an Xmas baby, as I have two of them, a third would break the bank that time of year. There's nothing wrong with that.

Don't worry about the age gap...mine are 6 years apart and love each other and play together lovely.
X

 

[gonnagetabump]

I always think "what if that month is our only chance" the LORD works in mysterious ways.

 

[twiggy56]

Personally I didn't see the need to point out to the OP that she was 'lucky to have one', to anyone that does have a child already, they know, more than anyone how grateful they are to have them in their lives....and why they feel so strongly about a second, third or fourth baby....because they feel that love EVERY second of the day, the presence of a mothers love is a constant reminder and im sure the OP knows this, and that's why when you want another baby so badly the feeling is no different to that of a woman who has no babies or ten babies. Love is love, want is want....it doesn't make you any less grateful for what you already have.

Just wanted to make my point as it is not just this thread I have seen things like this written, the OP is looking for support and from people similar in her situation, which she is more than entitled to ask for.

So......in response to the original question.....

Yes, I also feel that wanting a second baby has been a long time coming. Both my husband and I just did not desire to have another for a while, our little girl is our whole world and we have just enjoyed watching her grow. But she turns 4 exactly 2 months today and we have been hit by the urge to give her a sibling...
This is our 3rd month trying but his work schedule, my work schedule, our daughters nursery, classes, playdates etc keep us busy enough. However the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach just sees the age gap growing and growing monthly and feel a huge pressure all of a sudden! That wasn't even remotely there 6 months ago....

I also conceived my DD pretty quick, miraculously fast infact. So this feels heart breaking to wait so long, its almost like your body has set a president for conception and you have just surpassed it, so it feels like it wont happen now...?

We just have to hold our little ones tight and keep the faith that it will happen, in its very own sweet time!!

 

[Rhapsodi]

I'm sorry if I made you feel worse. It wasn't my intent. I have had similar thoughts, not now because of x not this because of y etc.

What I realized a long time ago is that it's NOT about me and MY desires. It's about Gods plan for me and HIS desires. Yeah it sucks. Been there done that. But if your desire is to have a baby forget all the what ifs. What if they do have the same birthday well then they get to share something so special. (BTW I know a family that has siblings bday on the same day and moms is a few days earlier/later and it brought them closer) Part of the problem with the culture today is it's all about me and what I want. Not about being patient and seeing what happens. I know it's hard! But it WILL make you a better person. I'm not saying you aren't a good person right now but we all know we have faults and there is always room for improvement. Sometimes this is what we need even of it's not what we want.

I know this waiting period for me has helped me I many ways even though it's been hard. I see God still working even if it's not on what I was expecting.

 

[LPF]

I am so with you here!

I started TTC no2 over 6 months ago and we've had 2 MCs since - no problems with conceiving ds.

Now all I see is the clock ticking and how a 4 yr age gap is huge when I'd never even considered it before.

I have this huge overwhelming need to have a successful pregnancy and feel in the pit of my stomach that it won't happen......

Having none, 1 or 10 children doesn't change that.

 

[youngmommy26]

I know how you feel. It took us 13 months to conceive our first. He just turned 6 this year. We decided to have another 2 years ago, been TTC this whole time without any luck. The age gap thing was something I was worried about too at first, but now it's not really bugging me anymore, I just want a happy healthy second child. I turned 27 this last september, and DH is just turned 37 this last November. We are going to give ourselves another 4 or 5 years, if it doesn't happen by then, we are just going to count our losses and just move on. Our son has severe autism, and we think having a brother or sister would be good for him. He is doing really good in special education kindergarten. He has finally started trying to talk, and we got him potty trained last year finally, but I just know that having a sibling would mean the world to him. It's so cute, when we are out in public he will point at babies with a big smile on his face and say "BABY!" makes my heart melt.

 

[clucas1988]

hi
we are TTC #1, only been trying a month, but I can understand how much you want it (i had to convince my oh for like 2 years lol)
but also, i have a brother who is 19 years older than me, and i love him to bits, its great having an older brother. so dont worry about that.
also, worrying about xmas birthday is something i have worried about (as we were gonna try march time) but now we are trying, im so not bothered, as long as we get a healthy baby, ill be thrilled.
I think basicly what im saying is, dont worry, because you are fertile as you had a baby before, and the other things are just blips, you cant plan everything perfectly hun! Best of luck to you, and try not to worry, as you have so many positives on your side!!!!!! But I do understand how you feel! xxx

 

[madetomother]

What I realized a long time ago is that it's NOT about me and MY desires. It's about Gods plan for me and HIS desires.

When will people mentally develop beyond such archaic, misogynist, nonsensical beliefs

 

[291]

I had a moment the other day when a heavily pregnant woman walked past me and I remembered that had I been successful 9 months back I'd have been due this month, on the 25th, a Xmas baby. My SIL had her 2nd this month too.
Last year, on Xmas day I got a positive OPK (digital) and felt like all was going to happen then too, alas... another Xmas where no baby joy will come.