Feeling 'awkward' telling friends & family about pregnancy

[Kmx]

I want to tell everyone I'm pregnsnt. I am so happy and so excited. I have planned several announcement pictures but OHS does not really want to announce on social media. That I can kind of understand but what I can't and what is irritating me is that he feels unable to tell friends and family about the pregnancy. Can anyone relate? Or help me to as im really struggling.

The pregnancy was planned so I'm not sure why but he explains that "he feels awkward and doesn't know what to say. He doesn't like any attention". So as a result im now 14 weeks. None of his friends know or his close cousins. I feel like it's a secret and I can't say anything as he hasnt told certain people yet and it's not really my job to tell his friends etc.

We did go to visit his auntie yesterday and he got my son to tell her and now OH is hoping that the auntie will spread it around the family... But I just feel this a rude way of letting family know, I think he should personally tell them. Even telling the auntie was awkward as my OH was saying tell auntie the news to my son and my son was acting shy and didn't want to say so he would say no you tell her and this went on for what felt like a lifetime.. then my son still wouldn't tell her so he took my sons ice cream away and said tell auntie the news! Obviously trying to blackmail my son into telling her! I just want to scream OH for god sake I'm peegnant!!!

Would this annoy you or should I accept his wishes and just keep it quiet and maybe they'll see my at 7 months and then just know I'm oregnant? I just feel it's rude of my OH not to tell them and it's irritating!

 

[Natasha2605]

Can you announce on Social Media and tag him in it? That's what I've always done. OH wouldn't typical just announce something in the same way I would.

Personally, I'd tell the close family members that you feel it's most important to know and then 'announce' on social media. There doesn't need to be a big song and dance about it.

I think my OH would feel the same about telling people in person. He was more than happy for me to tag him in my FB post.

 

[dimmu]

I can sort of relate to this. I did tell a few of my friends quite early on but really struggled to tell my mum. I think I was 16-17 weeks gone before I said anything to her. I get on with my mum but we are not close. She lives in a different country and we only talk on Skype maybe once a month if that. Telling anything personal to her has always been very difficult for me, and I suppose pregnancy is pretty personal. My DH is even worlse, his mum still doesn't know as they are not in very good terms. His work and some friends know about it.

As for social media, does your OH use it a lot in general? I have a facebook account but don't really use it, DH checks his maybe once a year. So I would never do an announcement there even if it means that only those friends/family that I've seen/spoken to in person since the pregnancy know about it. Maybe I'll post a picture after the baby is born, but probably not even that.

 

[babyjan]

My OH is the same and he only recently told a few friends lol! He said he feels awkward about it and felt the same telling his parents but he only told them earlier around 11 weeks as morning sickness was really bad so I wouldn't have been able to hide it

 

[LoveCakes]

I get this, I found it weird this time again as for someone who doesn't like the idea of people talking about them giving out big news is strange. I'm so excited but especially with family it seems odd to basically say we had sex! Even though I'm sure they realise we do lol

I was going to suggest the tell a few people and let word spread approach, I don't think it's rude as long as he tells important people like parents/ grandparents etc...

Also I wouldn't do the social media thing if he's against it it doesn't seem fair. Maybe once enough people know post a few bump or baby related photos.

 

[1nceUponATime]

I feel odd about that sort of thing. We kept our news quiet for a long time, and we never announced on social media. I had the same anxiety about my wedding . It was the best day of my life but I didn't like all the attention it earned me for such a long period of time. I feel that way about pregnancy too. We compromised and sent announcements out in the snail mail instead of social media. Instead of hundreds of people knowing it ended up just being who was important . Maybe he would be more into something like that? It's more personal that way and maybe he won't feel as much anxiety. It probably isn't that he isn't happy, because trust me I am so happy and excited. I just can't handle all the attention something like this brings lol

 

[minties]

I feel extremely awkward telling people! I told my dad by text at 20 weeks. My OH only told one person - I told his mum all 3 times.

 

[awnmyown]

Same, I also find it awkward. My boss wanted me to tell my coworkers and I was like "I find it weird to tell friends and family. Coworkers ain't happening". I think it's just some of us really shy from attention, and it's not like it's a personal achievement really; lots of sex. Thankfully it gets obvious after a couple months and saves the telling. But seriously, all the attention that comes once you tell is really overwhelming for some of us. I love our lo and am beyond excited and happy, but I don't need to tell everyone to feel that way.

And we're also not putting it on Facebook. Our kid will spend it's whole life on Facebook, so we're going to selfishly keep them to ourselves for 9 months

 

[Kmx]

Thank you for the replies. It has helped me see it from his side a bit more and that's exactly what I wanted. Now I feel a bit harsh for not understNding and assuming he's not happy or excited.

 

[lilmisscaviar]

I don't think it's that he's not excited... men sometimes just don't know how to show their emotions and pregnancy is a life changer for them. Some of their family or friends might make fun of them, like when my DH told his dad we were expecting our first, he simply told him "my condolences". Some guys just don't like dealing with the negativity. I do agree with the others that once it is on social media, everybody becomes increasingly annoying. Some girls like the attention but I didn't. I keep getting asked for belly photos, if I need any supplies and when people see me in person they want to touch my belly. I put it on for some of my long distance relations because I don't think it's right to keep something so big from them, but I don't let everyone on my Facebook see it. Some I really don't care for them to know.

 

[SaraVO]

I was very much like your husband. I wanted to keep it private for as long as possible I just wasn't prepared or excited about the attention or the very intrusive questions. My husband was the opposite and told people long before I was ready. It just felt so private and I didn't want to risk any negative reactions. Luckily there wasn't any. Just a few "was it on purpose" type questions. Some people react differently than they even think they will. I think we just have to take whatever happens with an open attitude.

 

[Lil_Pixie]

I've avoided telling anyone really. I'm 26 weeks now and still haven't mentioned my pregnancy on Facebook and I've only told one or two people who I've left to gossip and tell everyone else lol. My boss told my team in work because she got sick of waiting for me to mention it lol.

I just hate attention and I don't know how to bring it up or what to say. This baby took three years, two mmcs and a drug trial to get,and lots of people know about those but I still don't want to bring it up thankfully there comes a point where it's very obvious and there's no need to mention it anymore

 

[Mrs W 11]

I'm another one who feels awkward telling people. I've no idea why I do, I've been dying to get pregnant for over 2 years now, but for some reason I just don't feel comfortable 'announcing' our news! It feels very private to me and telling people just feels cringey! I never find it odd when other people announce their news though so I've no idea where this comes from! I'm 19 weeks tomorrow and half our family don't know yet, we've only told people we see as they will notice now!

If he finds it so hard why doesn't he just let you tell people? You could tell them as you see them.

 

[awnmyown]

Hey Kmx, don't feel bad about how you felt. I think that a nice combo of hormones and how excited you are, just makes it easy to worry your DH wasn't feeling the same happiness and excitement. Sometimes it's easy to forget that we all express our happiness a little different, and some folks are just really not into being in the spotlight, even if they're over the moon about lo. I think you should be proud that you took the time to understand why he might be shying away from the attention before really taking it to heart. And now have a chance to support your DH in the unique way he needs it, while still knowing that he's super excited to share this time in his life with you Relationships are all about growth; you can't get everything right the first try

 

[hanni]

I'm exactly like your DH. I hate telling people, just saying the words "I'm pregnant" I don't even know why, it just feels awkward. I hate attention. I told my mum at 13 weeks and got her to tell the rest of my family, it was the same with my son.

 

[babyjan]

I'm exactly like your DH. I hate telling people, just saying the words "I'm pregnant" I don't even know why, it just feels awkward. I hate attention. I told my mum at 13 weeks and got her to tell the rest of my family, it was the same with my son.

I don't think I've ever said 'I'm pregnant' to friends and family it just makes me feel all weird lol