Feeling left out by friends - RANT

[HoneyWright]

Hi Ladies

Just wanted to rant really.

One of the main things I find hard with LTTTC is feeling left behind by my friends. Most of them have young chldren or are pregnant and I feel that when we are together I cant get involved in conversations, and now im being left out of get togethers as I dont have a child.

I have 2 old friends from school one with a nearly 1 yr old daughter and one who is preganant. The pregnant friend text me tonight to ask if I would be at our other friends DD 1st birthday party on Saturday as it would be good to catch up. I had to write back and say I would not be as I hadnt been invited. So my other friend then text me to say sorry I hadnt been invited but she didnt think i would want to come. Im her DD godmother, why would I not want to go???

I know many of you have children, so I dont mean to be rude. But why am I pushed out for not having children? Seeing pregnant friends or friends with children is difficult for me as we have been trying for 3 yrs now, but I feel I always make an effort to be excited and happy and interested. I have never made people feel bad for having children just because I cant so i dont know why im being treated differently.

Sorry for Rant ladies but even my friends who are so supportive with my LTTTC problems have children so i dont feel I can mention this to them.

Sarah

 

[wish2bmama]

Aw hun, I'm sorry.

 

[DragonMummy]

i know how you feel hun. And I have a child! I was left out because my son was too old to play with their new babies, I don't fit with the bumps and people feel sorry for me because I am not pregnant yet.

xxx

 

[chefamy1122]

awww hun I am kind of in the same boat as you.... it sucks

 

[Blue12]

I find this happening very much too - and it is devastating for so many reasons. I am so sorry that you are experiencing this too.

 

[Faithpatience]

OMG..am goin thro the same thing and I can definitely understand what it feels like...am exactly in the same boat as urs..I appreciate friendship but sometimes its so depressing for me if the gals who got pregg right away advice us and jus say what we r doin is wrong or interfere saying that the doc to whom we go is not good and stuff...or else tell us about their morning sickness,scan or itchy boob stories n stuff....they dont understand that these things wud make us feel more like a "looser" I have felt and do feel the same way when am with my friends/family who have kids...

I feel they jus give u a look > "oh ! u have still not made it, its been a long time that u announced that ur TTC"

let God give us all a kid now......am sure all of us goin thro this definitely deserve to be mum...

good luck and cheers to all..

 

[ineedaseed]

Know exactly how you feel and it's crap isn't it.

 

[HoneyWright]

Thanks Ladies xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[caline]

I know the feeling too. My two closest friends called me last year within hours of each other to tell me they were preg, and had their babies over Christmas. I didn't get invited to the first meet up, with 2 other girls from work (both with small kids), and I was gutted.

I have since spoken to my firends and told them that I still want to see them and their babies, and how its worse to be left out of the whole thing totally. I explained that it is hard to see them with their new babies, but only because it brings it home to me what I can't have.

I think other poeple think they are protecting you from hurt by not inviting you to birthdays etc so you need to explain that they don't need to do that, and its for you to decide whether you want to go or not

 

[RebaRezzelba]

Hi - I understand how you feel too - when my friends meet up all they talk about are either babies, or school or what they are feeding their children - it can get so bloody boring sometimes.

How rude though was your friends not to invite you to your god daughters party - thats just crazy - of course you'd want to go - she was very selfish to do that! Just cos you dont have any children doesnt make you an outcast - maybe you should organise a big party and not invite any of your friends who have kids - just the single ones!!!!

 

[MummyIwanabe]

I know what you mean, its really hard when friends and others around you have children really easily. Sometimes when I visit friends all they talk about is babies and it makes me wonder what we used to talk about before babies! All sorts from what time they pee at night, how many times etc. I don't blame them it's a really exciting time but I do blame them for being insensitive sometimes as they know I can't get involved in their conversations! My friends have decided not to ask how we are in the TTC journey and probably because they don't like to pry maybe although we are really close so its surprising. Hense why we've not told them about our ICSI plans which are due to start soon. I'm desperate to tell them but also don't want to as the thought of them not seeing it as a big deal, or not agreeing with it or still being too wrapped up in themselves puts me off!

thank god for this forum that's all I can say I'd go mad without it!!! xx