Feeling left out

[aquaria6]

I've discussed this before on this forum about this but, I needed to do an extra bit of ranting. Sorry, and thanks for being there and listening (reading more like).

Anyway, DH and I have been ttc for 7 months or so which I know in comparison to some of you ladies out there is not long, but it seems like forever. I shared by ttc news with my two closest friends and, of course, we all talked about how great it would be if we were all preggers together. One of my friends has two boys already and the other was/is in a newish relationship. However, friend #2 on a whim decided that she would ttc, and got her BFP in her first cycle. Friend #1 was not trying to get pregnant, but she is super fertile, so of course, she fell pregnant too. Originally, we thought they were a month or so apart, but it turns out that they are due within one day of each other. And now, their appointments to find out the sex of their babies is the same day and they will be posting together on facebook.

I love these women like sisters, and I know they feel the same about me. But, I feel so incredibly alone, and left out, dysfunctional as a woman, the list goes on. I had so hoped that we could have shared the pregnancy experience together. I, the only one ttc in a stable marriage of nearly 10 years, get left behind as they endlessly update their lilypie tickers.

I am honestly happy for them on most levels, but deep down, I am incredibly sad. I will continue to be there for them in whatever they need. I will probably even be at the hospital the night their children are born, that is if they aren't born on the same day! And I will love the children almost as if they were my own because we really are like family. But, I cannot stop my heart from aching that I will not have a child of my own.

I am being overdramatic, and the probability of my getting pregnant is not lessened by anything other than my own stress about the situation.

I just needed to let all that go.

 

[rflower]

I feel your pain. I have lost my last 3 babies in the 2nd trimester...long enough that I delivered and could hold them. We named Ethan born Dec 30...would have been 29th, but I was clotting too much to respond to the medication. We lost another one in June of last year. 1 week later, my brother announced (over a crappy cell phone connection...he lives less than 1 block away) his wife was due in January. She went early and had a boy December 29th. Up until about 2 minutes before he filled out the birth certificate, they named their baby Ethan. They even called some of the family and told them. (I didn't get a call from him until 3 days later) They decided on the name Owen, but it still really hurts. My brother does not come around much anymore. It's not that I don't love him or the baby, it just really hurts that he got one and I didn't.
Good Luck...try to stay positive!

 

[aquaria6]

I am so sorry for your losses. How awful and insensitive of your brother. I think some people don't even consider other people's feelings. Thank you for taking the time to remind me to stay positive. I hope your ttc journey is becoming a positive one as well. Luck to you too

 

[FreeSpirit]

Baby dust to both of you! And there I was whining about a silly test. We'll all get our BFPs!!!!!!

 

[Rosered52]

I'm sorry.

You're doing the right thing by acknowledging your feelings, aquaria, rather than denying them. Anyone would feel sad and left behind in that situation. All I can say is that I hope for you a wonderful pregnancy soon, one that will be unique, and concieved in a strong and loving relationship. Nothing else will matter then.

 

[Heather9603]

Just keep in mind THEY are the freaks of nature, NOT you. I know its hard, and I so badly want to join in with that club too! But I just have to wait.

Just remember that one day you can tell your son or daughter that you loved them long before they even existed

 

[Hena]

I was also hoping to be pregnant with, or at least at the same time as my friends. Instead I feel like they've all left me in the dust. My sister-in-law (who has two young boys of her own) made me feel better by pointing out that when I finally am pregant, all the attention will be on my baby because I'll be the only preggy in the family and in my circle of friends, and my baby will be the youngest who gets cooed over. It's silly I know, but but it actually cheered me up a bit.

 

[littlemrsb]

I don't think your being dramatic, your very brave to say what we all think when our friends get their "surprise" BFP's!
Everyone in my circle is expecting at the moment and I get so sick of them moaning and complaining about putting on weight, back ache, cravings etc... What I wouldn't give to have their troubles
Stay positive and keep ranting here and know your in good company!!!!
Babydust x x x

 

[emz1200]

Your not being dramatic at all & it must be really hard watching everyone around you getting what you really want, but try & stay positive as it will happen for you. Everyone i know seems to be pregnant or just had their babies but at least when i finally get my BFP (on cycle 4, not long i know) no-one else will be & all eyes will be on me & my bump.
Baby dust to us all

 

[josephine3]

I wanted to rant about the same thing. Everyone is getting pregnant. Its like the fashion or something. The first to get pregnant out of my close friends is emma and im sooo excited, but it wasnt planned and she nearly had an abortion!

It sounds terrible, but i always wanted to have the first baby...
Another friend is pregnant with her 3rd, and another with her 4th! My partners sister is pregnant with her 2nd..i also know 2 people who have just given birth!!

Aaaaarrrghh is it me or are they everywhere? Or it just cos we are thinking about it more? I swear its not. Ok rant over.... Peace to all pregnant or not! Xx

 

[aquaria6]

I was just asking DH if pregnancy was always everywhere and I'm just extra sensitive right now. He said yes . But, even on my favorite television shows everyone is coming up pregnant!! It's crazy.

Thanks ladies. You have helped me see that when it is my turn it will be even more special. Thank you.

Baby Dust to All

 

[Heather9603]

I was also hoping to be pregnant with, or at least at the same time as my friends. Instead I feel like they've all left me in the dust. My sister-in-law (who has two young boys of her own) made me feel better by pointing out that when I finally am pregant, all the attention will be on my baby because I'll be the only preggy in the family and in my circle of friends, and my baby will be the youngest who gets cooed over. It's silly I know, but but it actually cheered me up a bit.

Ohhh thats a a good point! Never thought of it like that before. Everyone loves the new baby lol.