feeling lost and lonely........

[tigerlilly]

Hi ladies feeling a little lost and sad today. Lots fb annoucements, sil baby due in a month, dh family don't care, nearly all the ladies i know from B & B have moved on (bfp's) and rightly so wonderful news and i wish them all a H & h 9 months.

And yet here i am still struggling on 2yrs ttc in march and begining to wonder how long i can keep going. Dh has poor morphology and we are waiting to be refered to fs but i have too get my bmi down and i'm exuasted
when will we be next and finding harder then i thought espcially when i know ppl are on their secound and we can't even get a first, i just don't know what to do

sorry to whine on x

 

[CHILLbilly]

I've been where you are right now.....
I had to get over my "jealousy" and "why not me" when seeing not so "worthy" girls or women getting surprise pregnancies..( I was so happy when ALL of my BandB friends got their BF tho)
but I was so sad and depressed.
I realized I could not change why this happens......so had to think more positively just so I wouldn't stress about it as much...
Hope that makes sense.....
Basically..... To not dwell on what you cannot change....such as other ppls fertility.
I'm going on 4 yrs....2 MC's and just past my last MC's due date....IT SUCKS!!!!! BUT I am trying to be positive!

Put all your focus on being healthy, changing your BMI...( exercise does make us feel better)
I hope you understand what i'm trying to say.......
and this is what's so good about BandB....we're all here for each other!

We dont mind you crying, screaming, the AF pity parties, and the "Why Me's?"......... and when you're all cried out we will try to make you smile and forget about all the bad things we endure while LTTTC.. sigh... hope you feel better hun!

 

[tigerlilly]

I've been where you are right now.....
I had to get over my "jealousy" and "why not me" when seeing not so "worthy" girls or women getting surprise pregnancies..( I was so happy when ALL of my BandB friends got their BF tho)
but I was so sad and depressed.
I realized I could not change why this happens......so had to think more positively just so I wouldn't stress about it as much...
Hope that makes sense.....
Basically..... To not dwell on what you cannot change....such as other ppls fertility.
I'm going on 4 yrs....2 MC's and just past my last MC's due date....IT SUCKS!!!!! BUT I am trying to be positive!

Put all your focus on being healthy, changing your BMI...( exercise does make us feel better)
I hope you understand what i'm trying to say.......
and this is what's so good about BandB....we're all here for each other!

We dont mind you crying, screaming, the AF pity parties, and the "Why Me's?"......... and when you're all cried out we will try to make you smile and forget about all the bad things we endure while LTTTC.. sigh... hope you feel better hun!

Hi hun thank you. Our mc anniversary is in march and it sucks. I'm really looking forwards to meeting the new baby how ever don'tknow how i'm gonna deal with all these emotions and excitement of meeting new baby and trying to get through the first annversary of our mc all in the same month. sorry to hear of ur losses

 

[Armywife84]

Our 2 year mark is next month too. Tacking on another a year is a complete downer for every LTTCer no matter what year you're on.

I don't have any words to make it better, there aren't even words, really. Just try to push it to the back of your mind as much as you can and go on with other aspects of your life.

As for the new baby, if you don't feel like you can handle seeing the child, then don't visit. I'm lucky enough that my nieces and nephew live far away so we only see them on holidays. I can only take being around toddlers in small doses then I have to leave as I get really upset. You have to do what is best for you...putting your mental health first, isn't selfish.

 

[Madgirl]

I understand.

 

[tigerlilly]

I understand.

thank you x

 

[aintlifegrand]

Tigerlilly,
We all understand, my DH's sister is pregnant, the holidays were very hard. I just try to keep going and do things to help me relax, such as yoga, acupuncture and meditation. I also started seeing a counselor, it helped a lot!

 

[wana b a mom]

Tigerlilly, I also understand. We have been TTC for 2 years, never got a BFP, I have seen my friends getting pregnant, then delivering their babies, and getting pregnant again. At the beginning of TTC I never thought It could take this long. At the beginning it was NTNP and I thought it was just the effect of the pill still lurking around my body. When we started trying for "real" I was getting feelings of "this may not happen for me" after seeing all the BFN. I have tried to stay positive but sometimes it is just heart breaking. Hang in there girl. Our dreams of becoming moms WILL come true.

Chillbilly: thank you for your words. B&B is like a sisterhood. We can come here and express how we feel and what we think and we get the support of all these great ladies who know where we come from and don't think we are crazy.

Lots of hugs to all, and best of luck: so that our TTC journeys end soon!

 

[marie44]

Ltttc comes with its set of challenges and requires an amount of strength you never knew you had mixed in with a few days of inevitable self-pity. I never in a million years thought i would be here but here i am. I've had 2 friends give birth this month and i am genuinely happy for them but babies seem to be all around me! I'm greatful for b&b bc i was only talking to 2 people besides dh about infertility and i started to feel like i was talking too much about it & annoying them (even though i'm sure i wasn't). Now i can leave them alone & vent here. GL everyone!! Our bfp will be here before we know it!

 

[ogthoom]

I totally agree with aintlifegrand - I started doing yoga (it's a beginners class, so we do a lot of meditation as well), and I have really noticed it helps A LOT. My bad days are fewer and farther between. Plus it's so healthy for you physically (as long as you're careful with your postures) - so it's a win-win and you'll be in better shape when you DO get a BFP! It's well worth the time and money to find a local class and get signed up (I'm at local community college). I've done yoga at home with a video, Wii Fit, etc. in the past, but going to a class is way different and far more helpful mentally and physically if you've never had that real direction. Now that I've taken a good directional class, I'll be able to do much better doing yoga videos/wii at home on my own (since TTC isn't the cheapest hobby in the world, and neither are yoga classes!).

 

[CoachPowell38]

Hi Tigerlilly and other ladies,
I too feel like it has been forever....TTC going on 2 years now...Two miscarriages, last one in Sept....It has been very hard to continue with babies all around me , but I must. I am trying to be more postive and exercise more, I am sure my BMI is part of the problem as well as my age and hubby has some factors too. But keep trying ...I am thankful for all of you on here too....

 

[tigerlilly]

Hi Tigerlilly and other ladies,
I too feel like it has been forever....TTC going on 2 years now...Two miscarriages, last one in Sept....It has been very hard to continue with babies all around me , but I must. I am trying to be more postive and exercise more, I am sure my BMI is part of the problem as well as my age and hubby has some factors too. But keep trying ...I am thankful for all of you on here too....

Thank you hun

 

[tigerlilly]

Hi ladies i do yoga eat a veggie basesd diet will start running again and will go to gym as well. I think the bigger picture is the total lack of support from dh's family and theres nothing we can do or we feel totally powerless to change it.

 

[wana b a mom]

aintlifegrand and ogthoom: You guys are making me want to do yoga now lol. I have heard so much about it I think I will give it a try. I started swimming for a masters club and also taking dance lessons and it has helped a lot also. I feel like I am not thinking about TTC all the time and focusing on other things, like my health and physical strength, coordination (for dancing) and talking to people. I will look for yoga classes. For beginners, how many times a week do you recommend?

marie44, good luck with IVF!! when do you start? if this month in clomid doesn't work I think we'll be doing IVF also. Do you have a journal?

armywife: what treatment have you followed?

ogthoom: how about you?

tigerlilly, how are you doing hun? lots of I hope you are doing better.

 

[hopefull85]

i have been TTC for 5 years now. 6 months ago i got so mad at my sis in law for getting pregnant and i am still upset. i hate being around her. this will be her second child she is 22 she got pregnant with her first at 16. as did my now 18 year old neice. my bestfriend also got pregnant and she really didnt want a child. i hate going out in public because everywhere i look are pregnant women. i am called selfish and told to get over it by my mother. ive been told bymy family that "i cant wait for you to get pregnant so that you'll shut up about it". my husband is negative about it saying maybe we should just forget about it its never going to happen. he gets mad at me when i have my crying nights says i need to grow up. if it wasnt for B & B i would seriously go insane. i cant stress enough how i want a BFP really soon.

 

[wana b a mom]

hopeful: I am sorry to hear this. If you don't get the support from your family about TTC you should be getting it from your husband... otherwise how are you going to try? does he want a baby? Have you guys seen a FS?

 

[hopefull85]

hopeful: I am sorry to hear this. If you don't get the support from your family about TTC you should be getting it from your husband... otherwise how are you going to try? does he want a baby? Have you guys seen a FS?

yeah he wants a baby just as bad as i do. but he keeps looking at the fact he will be 39 this year and tells himself he is getting to old. i just dont know how much more of this LTTTC i can take

 

[tigerlilly]

hopeful: I am sorry to hear this. If you don't get the support from your family about TTC you should be getting it from your husband... otherwise how are you going to try? does he want a baby? Have you guys seen a FS?

yeah he wants a baby just as bad as i do. but he keeps looking at the fact he will be 39 this year and tells himself he is getting to old. i just dont know how much more of this LTTTC i can take

Hi hun i'm 39 this year and trying for my first! I went through a long phase of thinking i was to old. Have you seen fs for some answers?

 

[tigerlilly]

aintlifegrand and ogthoom: You guys are making me want to do yoga now lol. I have heard so much about it I think I will give it a try. I started swimming for a masters club and also taking dance lessons and it has helped a lot also. I feel like I am not thinking about TTC all the time and focusing on other things, like my health and physical strength, coordination (for dancing) and talking to people. I will look for yoga classes. For beginners, how many times a week do you recommend?

marie44, good luck with IVF!! when do you start? if this month in clomid doesn't work I think we'll be doing IVF also. Do you have a journal?

armywife: what treatment have you followed?

ogthoom: how about you?

tigerlilly, how are you doing hun? lots of I hope you are doing better.

feeling a little better thank you.

 

[hopefull85]

hopeful: I am sorry to hear this. If you don't get the support from your family about TTC you should be getting it from your husband... otherwise how are you going to try? does he want a baby? Have you guys seen a FS?

yeah he wants a baby just as bad as i do. but he keeps looking at the fact he will be 39 this year and tells himself he is getting to old. i just dont know how much more of this LTTTC i can take

Hi hun i'm 39 this year and trying for my first! I went through a long phase of thinking i was to old. Have you seen fs for some answers?

well i ill be 27 in june. but i went to a doctor about a year ago and was told i just didnt ovulate like i should. for a whole year i was bleeding on an off more so on alot of the times. back in october i took a month of birth control pills had one period and since then nothing. so i ordered fertilaid for men and womean and the fertilCM. we both have been taking our supplements for a week now. i really hope this is the help that we needed. i really dont know how much longer i can handle this.