Feeling really low and sorry for myself

[tinkerbell79]

Well it's been one week today and I guess I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself. This is my third mc ( inbrtween children) and I am finding it harder to get over than the first two, I had 3 scans with this one and each time I saw my little baby with a heartbeat (was very slow though), and each time I just felt so sorry for my little fighter as the nurses kept writing him off but he tried so hard to hang on in there. I really feel like I bonded with him and feel so sad about him going, but i dont think anybody really understand this. I am normally a strong person but just can't seem to shake this feeling away x

 

[patiently]

A miscarriage is such a hard experience to go through and it seems that others who haven't gone through it don't really understand what it feels like...they simply just cant relate sometimes...but i dont believe that they don't care its just they dont know what to say...i am actually going through my second miscarriage right now just a few weeks ago i posted my bfp on this site...now im back in the race again...its so emptionally draining on us but please do not feel that this doesnt make you strong...you are very strong, you have had three miscarriages and im sure everytime you have gone through it it has made you stronger...i havent made it to even see a heartbeat so i cant imagine how you feel...

Some people think that you should quickly move on and this was the reaction i received at work from other pregnant colleagues or they seem to get over the idea and expect you to do the same...but it was your baby and it happened to you so the things you feel are harder to "move on" from...i still think about my first baby that i lost and before i found out was pregnant this time round i lost it and broke down even my OH said i should move on...there is no right or wrong way to deal with a mc...everyone deals with it in their own way you have every right to feel what you feel. I thought that if i had another mc i would deal with it better but i cant it hurts just as much if not more...how many children do you have and how far along was you in your pregnancy? please vent as much as you need to im having such an angry day and feeling such guilt right now...i ask why so many times...why did this happen to me? why cant i get to see my little baby in a scan? why do we have to go through this again? and the hardest thing is not having any answers...its even worst when someone states that "it wasnt meant to be" of course it was meant to be otherwise i wouldnt've got pregnant in the first place...

you are truly amazing you are strong and determined im sure you will get to have your little bundle of joy soon and WHEN you get your next bfp you will also get a h&h 9 months...i wish you so much luck sending lots of hugs your way x

 

[tinkerbell79]

thanks so much for your kind words, i was 10 +4 this time. i had scans at 7,8 and 9+4 wks - each time there was a heartbeat and he was measuring small and each time i was told he wouldnt make it and to come back next week to check his heartbeat had stopped and booked in for a d&c. it was so heartbreaking to go back each time for them to be shocked he still had a heartbeat but to keep being told he wasnt going to make it -he was such a little fighter and battled on for 4 weeks. i think seeing him there on the scan with his little heartbeat as made is so much harder (i never had this with my first 2). I just feel so sorry for him and miss him so much, i know this will sound stupid to some people and its so frustrating as i feel that noone - not even my OH will understand, to the point were ive now stopped answering the phone to everyone or returning their texts. i havent spoken to anyone other than my OH since monday (and im only just about speaking to my OH lol). i just feel like i want to be by myself and dont have the energy to be around other people and I know im being horrible to people by cutting them of like this but i really cant help it.

 

[tinkerbell79]

also really sorry for your loss. are you trying again at the moment or are you waiting? also are you going to take anything this time? im going take a high dose of folic acid and thinking about taking baby asprin - i feel like if i do something i have more hope x

 

[ASBO_ALI]

ive been through 5 miscarriages and one live birth and currently 10 weeks pregnant again now... its certainly a horrible experience but i managed to get through my 5 mc's by remembering that something wasnt quite right, that my little angles have gone to a better place, rather than trying to survive in this world with the possibility of being a life time disabled. Good luck chick xx

 

[patiently]

some people are just so insensitive and i dont mean to sound rude but im angry right now...pg women just flaunt it around...my friend who was two weeks further along in her pg was so unsuportive when i lost my first one, she even said she thought i was lying that i was pregnant...what kind of person says that...even to this day she picks out baby clothes to show me how cute the clothes are that shes buying for her little one...i am a visual merchandiser to i work in a retail store..she even announced over the owrk tanoy that she is expecting...i am happy for her..but she comes to me for reassurance about how tired she is or she cant cope with the morning sickness...i would give anything to have morning sickness right now...i do reassure her...because im trying to be nice but deep down im raging mad!!! how dare she!!! im glad u posted a long message you need to get it off your chest it really does help... i dont think your being bad for not returning calls etc you have your own way of dealing with it so go with whatever feels right to you, i know it may seem selfish but concentrate on yourself try not to worry about other people and their feelings...a real friend would understand that you need time out...good luck hunni hope all turns out well for you

 

[tinkerbell79]

Thank you so much, you have made me feel alot better. I really hope we both get our BFP soon xxx

 

[kiki04]

I am so sorry for your loss I lost my sweet Hadlee just 2 weeks ago at 16w6d and am going to try again as well, even though it was a huge surprise we didnt know we wanted... until we lost it. DH had a vasectomy and will be getting a reversal soon but I know how that down feeling is. I am getting better, have good moments and bad ones... but I have had nothing but wonderfully amazing support around me so I think that helps. No one has expected me to "just get over it" instead it has been utmost compassion and understanding which I am so greatful for. I really hope you get your BFP soon and it is a sticky bean..